Gamescom 2013: Thief “Uprising” Trailer: Garrett’s Got A 2014 Date With You (Lock Your Stuff Down)…

Posted on August 16, 2013 by geelw

Well, for whatever good THAT will do, as it’ll just make him want to make YOU unconscious faster so he can have at that lock you paid good money for. Look, just make it easy on yourself, people: When February 25, 2014 rolls around, just pretend Santa is coming down that chimney, but instead of leaving out some milk and cookies, you just put out a plate of valuables and a note to not hit you upside the noggin with that blackjack. Hell, he’ll even take that hideous costume jewelry you were planning on donating to Goodwill, as anything he can sell all goes to getting his gear upgraded.

Of course, if you’re jerking his chain and plan to ONLY put out the cheap stuff while stuffing that Pink Panther somewhere… er, safe and warm. Oh, he’ll figure that out FAST. He’s been watching you all week and when you walk with that gem stuffed where the sun doesn’t shine, he’ll see that right away. Just so you know, it’s exactly these sort of observation skills that make an excellent thief…

“Where Will Luigi Fall Asleep?” Why, In Front of His Wii U Waiting For Good Games, Of Course…

Posted on August 15, 2013 by geelw

Ah ha, ha, ha. I just HAD to go there because it’s TOO obvious a joke these days if you’re a Wii U owner. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Nintendo is playing its cards as they usually do, but as a formerly ecstatic Wii U owner since launch day turned slightly sleepy and a tad grumpy, let’s just say I’m not getting as much use out of my console as I’d like to.

Granted, the good stuff is coming and a few really cool third party games have kept me busy for sure. However, there needs to be something big and non-retread-y coming from first and third party studios that’s going to knock my socks off or I’ll be snoozing next to Luigi and grabbing blankets like an icy cold M-F. Ah ha, ha…h…*yawn!* THUD! ZZZZZZZ!!!…

(Well, at least I’m a tired but hopeful Wii U owner…)

Grand Theft Auto Online Gameplay Reveal: There’s A Game in The Game That’s A Completely Different Game…

Posted on August 15, 2013 by geelw

If there was any doubt that Rockstar had nothing new coming in terms of Grand Theft Auto V‘s online play, well… those doubts just got run over by a really huge armored car packed with money headed for Rockstar HQ. Grand Theft Auto Online comes with every copy of GTA V when the game launches on September 17, 2013 and will be a free to play persistent online game world for up to 16 players set to kick off on October 1, 2013. GTAO will feature new content created and uploaded regularly and is a completely separate experience from the main story mode.

Oh, there’s a lot more to babble about, but I’m busy and you need to go see and read it from the horse’s mouth. Just click on that big image above or the link in the post and see what’s coming your way soon. Me, among other things, I have finger exercises to do because I know I’m going to be fighting off hand cramps from gripping a PS3 pad for way too long once GTA V ships out…

GOG.com Wants You to Return to the Dungeons (and Yes, There Be Dragons Inside)…

Posted on August 15, 2013 by geelw

Back in April, gog.com had a very cool sale on an assortment of Dungeons and Dragons PC games and I think I was lamenting (with a really tiny violin solo in the background playing away) about not having enough time to play the games I already had in that lovely set to buy any more D&D titles. Well, I get a second chance (and so do YOU) as the sale is back with ten mostly massive role-playing experiences for a mere $26.40. The cool thing is if you already own any of these titles thanks to a gog.com purchase, you actually get a discount applied to your total. Nice.

Of course, given that the potential of a few hundred (if not THOUSAND plus) hours of gameplay lie in wait for you once you click that BUY NOW tab, you may want to invest in a few emergency rations and start e-mailing people you know to tell them you won’t be around for a while. If you really want to get them buzzing, tell them you’ve been summoned to a dungeon or something similarly vague yet eye-popping before you stop answering calls and emails. That should get them thinking about your extracurricular lifestyle activities, right? And by the way, I still have no time to buy any new epic until I clear through a few I’ve started already. I really need a TARDIS, people…

Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut Gets A Ridiculously Awesome iPad App…

Posted on August 15, 2013 by geelw

With Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut headed full steam ahead onto Steam soon and an even MORE enhanced edition, Rising Star Games is celebrating by making fans who don’t own iPads (that use iBooks 3.0 or later on an iPad with iOS 5.1 or later) want to run out and buy one just for a single (and VERY cool) new app that’s more a game encyclopedia packed to the rafters with pretty much anything and everything about the game.

Set to launch October 14, 2013, Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut – The Official Visual Companion is a whopping 352 pages of info (some of it interactive) including plenty of plot spoilers, art, maps of every location in the game, in-depth notes on the story and characters and even a soundboard/soundtrack function. Of course it’s also got a trunk full of SPOILERS, so if you’re planning on snapping this up with intent to ruin the game’s plot, it’ll do that just fine, thank you much…

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Game of Thrones Season 3 DVD/Blu-Ray Deleted Scene: HBO Double Twists The Knife!

Posted on August 15, 2013 by geelw

A long wait reminder AND a deleted scene tease? Stab, STAB! Gee, thanks HBO! Oh alright… it’s not THAT bad, but still… Season 3 isn’t out on disc until next February 18, 2014 and the world could end by then! WHAT will we GoT fans do then? OK, “die miserably” are the operative words, but I’m not going down without a fight. Of course, those of us with HBO On Demand have been and can still catch this anytime we want until doomsday (or the next Season of GIRLS, ha, ha, ha). You sort of don’t realize how cool On Demand is until you run into people who don’t have or use it (which is one huge reason why you still see disc-based movies and TV shows selling). That said, I’ll probably not re-watch this past season thanks to the rather depressingly high body count from episode 9 (ouch, ouch). Eh, I’ll probably be one of those clowns who shells out for a complete series set once that finally comes out (provided the planet hasn’t friggin’ MELTED by then), so I guess I’m just complaining for practice at this point…

You KNOW You NEED A Vacation When…

Posted on August 14, 2013 by geelw

Places you’re been to turn into warped versions of themselves even in the photos you’ve taken. Of course, this is what both real Paris and Hell Paris look like after a few drinks (actually, Hell Paris ALWAYS looks like this, and remember… there’s no beer served in Hell at all despite what some of those signs you’ll come across say).

In short, I really need a vacation, but first I need to be able to PAY for a vacation. I’m working on that, or at least trying to make more money in general. If I can’t go somewhere fancy, it’s at least good enough to pretend at somewhere local and appropriate in its selection of diversions.

OK, OK… I could just go back to Hell for a bit, but I think they’re starting to notice I keep popping up for the free hot buffet and leaving right before the mandatory floor show experience. Hey, that key I found on the street happens to fit the exit door AND gets me in the front gate when I wave it at the guard, so I may as well use it while I can, right?

Did You Win The Lottery Recently? Saint’s Row IV Wants A Million of Those New Bucks…

Posted on August 14, 2013 by geelw

I saw this image a little while back and ignored it because I thought it was a big fat inside joke, but apparently, it’s all too real. UK retailer GAME was/is offering up the most insane pre-order bonus ever created with this Saint’s Row IV Super Dangerous Wad Wad Edition that packs in the game and a ridiculous amount of goodies from plastic surgery, spy training and a flight into SPACE. Seriously. I’ll shut up here and let you soak this all in at your leisure, but if you’re a Scrooge McDuck, or a more real life zillionaire (no, Trump doesn’t count because he’s all hot air, ego and bluster and if he really had money, he’d buy himself a new brain that actually works), feel free to bug Deep Silver directly about buying this here(makemeasaint@deepsilver.com).

And yup, tell them you heard about it here on DAF – I don’t get a finder’s fee at all, but if you’ve THAT sort of bank, maybe you could spare a few ten thousand for a poor starving artist type?

Batman: Arkham Origins Collector’s Edition: All You Need Is A Room To Store It All In…

Posted on August 14, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, BatmanArkhamVideos!)

Holy WOW, Batfans! I suppose a limited edition wooden shelf or build it yourself bookcase would be out of the question, huh? Actually, at $119.99 for all that stuff you’re getting, this isn’t a bad deal at all AND it’s packing more than what’s in the European version announced last week. Um, “Don’t mess with Texas? Everything’s BIGGER in…” oh, never mind. The sheer scope of all this swag automatically nets this limited edition an automatic entry into this year’s Holiday Gift Guide and given that word on the street is the gameplay’s stellar… this one’s a total no-brainer if you can only afford the standard edition.

Anyway, here are photos of the massive set (one each of the PS3 and 360 SKUs) and below the jump, a listing of what’s in the box. Add a cape and you’re practically Batman, folks!

Batman: Arkham Origins will be available for PS3, Xbox 360, Wii U, and Windows PC. Batman: Arkham Origins Blackgate, the handheld version (developed by Armature Studio), will be available for PlayStation Vita handheld and Nintendo 3DS. The game will release on all platforms worldwide on Oct. 25, 2013. I don’t think there’s a collector’s edition for the portable versions, as it sort of looks silly carrying a shelf or small bookcase with you when you’re out and about (ha ha)…

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Random Film of the Week: Bulletproof

Posted on August 14, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, H83tr3d!)

Some movies are SO incredibly bad that it’s hard to hate them when you’re nearly dying from laughing so hard at and with them. 1988’s not quite epic action (yet must-see if you love really terrible films) masterpiece, Bulletproof is one of those films for a whole load of reasons from having Gary Busey as its star to the tricked out (and stupidly large) Thunderblast tank that looks as if it was designed by a room full of 12 year old boys with a box of plastic model tank kits he’s after once it’s stolen and taken to Mexico or something.

Actually, the brain-frying plot isn’t even important as much as watching Busey as Frank “Bulletproof” McBain blow away “butthorns”, survive all sorts of death threats and attempts, try hard to get the girl and even play the saxaphone at one point. You’ll probably start grinning less than two minutes in and once the laughs start, they’ll be hard to stop as one scene tops another for sheer overkill or just plain “WTF did I just watch”-ness. Of course, seeing Busey in too-tight jeans running around shooting up the scenery might put you off your food, but just watch the bodies fall or avert your eyes if you feel the need to…

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