The Hobbit: The Desplation of Smaug TV Spot 3: This One Better Not Be Draggin’…

Posted on October 14, 2013 by geelw

Okay, so I finally caught The Hobbit on HBO when it premiered on Saturday and yes, I fell asleep about 25 minutes in. That was bad, however I did wake up about 25 or so minutes later and sat through the rest of the film, save for a quick break to boil some water for tea. Granted, I was a bit sick and a little bit tired from the cold that was knocking me around, but still… the film did drag-on a bit (yeah, that’s supposed to be a pun). I liked it overall, but after that blazing opening sequence it took a while to get going again then between jokes it’s pretty much a non-interactive CG movie that winds its way up, down and all around to that ending where you just so happen to look at your watch and realize as Smaug’s eye opens and the credits roll that you’ll need to come back to that theater to see what happens thanks to that big dragon not quite revealing himself. I’m gathering this sequel will have TOO much of Smaug for some tastes… but in my opinion there’s no such thing as too much of any dragon (unless it’s that damn purple dinosaur Barney trying to pretend he’s one)…

Random Film of the Week(end), Too: Horror Castle

Posted on October 13, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, sleazeorama!)

Given that it’s been released with no fewer than three titles (The Virgin of Nuremberg and Castle of Terror are the other two), it’s not surprise that I didn’t get to see this Italian horror flick until it popped up on TCM a few days ago. Of course, if I wasn’t up and half dying from the scratchy throat that mutated into the cold I’m now getting over, I’d have missed this frightening little import gem. Sure, it’s got a score that sounds a bit out of place, some odd dialog (although I’m not sure if this a translation issue) and yes, plenty of cliché gone wild moments that would sink a lesser effort. Nevertheless, the overall gloomy atmosphere and great color photography, a great extended cameo by Christopher Lee (misspelled as Cristopher Lee in the credits) and a pretty damn excellent scene involving rats, a cage and a young woman’s face make this one worth tracking down…

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Random Film of the Week(end): MARTIN

Posted on October 13, 2013 by geelw

(thanks albademorti!)

I think I like MARTIN the best out of all George Romero’s films because despite its age it still holds up one of the best modern takes on the vampire genre (even though the titular character only thinks he’s one) and is about as uncompromising as it gets from beginning to end.

It’s also an extremely hard to watch film if you’re squeamish about a few things like needles, fresh razor blades and blood, but everything clicks on multiple levels and there’s a powerful payoff at the end that offers up a bit of slyly amusing social commentary common to Romero’s work. If all you know about vampires is that tween sparkly Twilight crap or even the used to be interesting before it went into fairy fantasy crazyland True Blood, this one will stake a claim in your brain as soon as you meet the titular character doing his version of the bloodsucking thing he needs to slake his thirst…
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Yeah, I’m Back (With Some Bigger Fish to Fry)…

Posted on October 13, 2013 by geelw

So, that nasty sore throat that was making my life miserable is pretty much dead in the water thanks to a few limes, some honey, hot water and a good knife. Peel and cut up 2 limes into bite size pieces, place them into a bowl, pour some honey on them and eat up. Yum! Well, it’s not supposed to be dessert, but that angry kitten with be gone from that throat. make some hot tea with what’s left and drink that if necessary. All I have now is this sneezing and a bit of stuffy nose action to deal with. I think tomorrow is a federal holiday anyway, so my fastest wi-fi spot may be shut down anyway, but I wanted to kick this stupid cold in the groin a few times so I’m all fresh and fancy for a few meetings coming up this week. Die, germs! I got your shutdown right here, POW!

Annnnnd speaking of shutdowns, Continue reading →

Saturn 3 Blu-Ray/DVD Bound: Heckling Hector and Company For Their Less Than Stellar Work…

Posted on October 13, 2013 by geelw

OK, I didn’t think it was possible, but it looks as if someone is actually putting the wretched mess Saturn 3 out on Blu-Ray. The otherwise great director Stanley Donen’s flawed folly of a feeble flick is headed out to retail on December 3, 2013 from the fine folks at Shout Factory.

This big budget sci-fi/horror non-epic non masterpiece (it’s not even a “so bad it’s good” experience) completely wastes the talents of all involved and is a total mess from start to finish. Thankfully, it looks as if the disc’s handful of bonus features just may save this one from being the “WTF did you get me this crap for?” movie of the year. Trust me, there’s not one redeemable quality about the theatrical version, but I know some movie fans find elements of this junk heap intriguing enough to want to go back and watch this a few too many times.

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Saturday’s Sick (For All The Wrong Reasons)…

Status

Ha. I’m not even downtown at Flu Central Station (aka New York Comic-Con 2013) and I’m feeling like someone’s scraping my throat with sandpaper wrapped in barbed wire. Yuk. It’s the damned library here with its wheezing teens, old people and kids and man, whatever I got socked with is fast moving and nasty. Bleh. Thankfully, I’ve some Throat Coat tea at home, enough limes to open a fruit stand and a fresh jar of honey. I may have to break out my chicken soup making skills for this one, but I’ll need to defrost that bird taking up space in the freezer and get to work cooking it for the carcass. Anyway, updates will be slow this weekend just so I’m alive for a few meetings next week I’ve already scheduled. I need to be careful with my health these days, as my current insurance plan goes something like this:

(thanks, frankpilarski!)

Did I mention I despise being sick (especially when it’s not my fault)? Eh, welcome to the human race, I suppose. I don’t even want to KNOW what my fellow writer types are going to be dealing with after NYCC is over. Usually, you’re hoarse, have tired legs and feet, maybe a few paper cuts and if you imbibed from one of those public fountains at the event, that combined with whatever bad food you’ve eaten will get you into solitary confinement in the comfort of your own bathroom for a wee bit too long. OK, that’s a bit of TMI for some of you out there, but I’m just telling it like it is…

NYCC 2013: IDW’s 2014 Lineup: Kirby, Steranko, Gibbons. Your Wallet’s Gone (And They’re Not Done Yet)…

Posted on October 12, 2013 by geelw

Every time I get a press release from IDW Comics, I fear opening it just because I just KNOW that it’s going to be for one of their spectacular new classic comic collections and I’ll want to add it to my already too long want list. Nevertheless, I forge ahead, click and drool away, knowing I can’t afford any of them, but hoping I’ll actually get to get my grubby paws on a copy someone I know buys when they see it here on the site. Anyway, the company’s 2014 lineup is rolling out in the form of a few press releases (below the jump), so ogle those covers above for as long as you like and then pawn off a kidney (preferably not yours). These books will be in the usual limited run actual art size editions IDW is well known for. OK, put on your reading shoes – you’ve got some press releases to pore over!

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Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut PC: The More Things Stay The Strange…

Posted on October 11, 2013 by geelw

You’d think that after playing and reviewing this game a few times on the Xbox 360 and PS3 plus spending well over a month creating daily random screenshot posts about the updated Director’s Cut and a few more on the upcoming PC version soon to pop up on Steam would mean I’m tired of Deadly Premonition. But nope, I still love this weird, funny and compelling horror adventure, warts and all. If you’re a big fan as well you can clearly see above that the game isn’t going to look much different than the console versions, but I’m betting the higher resolution and what should be a more solid frame rate on a decent PC will help smooth out a few issues some had with the other versions. The game also packs in Steam Achievements and Trading Cards plus a bit of extra content at no additional cost and yes, there’s already a page up on the Steam Store where you can keep abreast of the launch date (which is Halloween, of course) and other gory details. Naturally, all that FK in the coffee I’m drinking is keeping me up with a haunted look on my mug much like FBI Special Agent Francis York Morgan, but hey – he’s got skills I could use on a daily basis…

Random Films: Two From France I Can’t Watch…

Posted on October 11, 2013 by geelw

OK, some stuff from the vaults with a goofy story behind them. My late dad gave me a box of VHS tapes around 15 or 20 years back and these two were ones that I couldn’t play on my NTSC tape player (they’re both SEACAM format). I recall telling him this later when he called to ask if I liked the movies and he said he’d “get back to me” later on this. I knew what that meant, so I told him he didn’t have to go looking for a player here at all because even if he DID find one, I’d still need a TV that could play it. If you ever knew my dad long enough, you’d know he had a sort of single-minded pursuit of the great deal mindset to him that was fascinating and slightly pesky once in a while when he’d end up with multiples of some items if you’d simply asked for one. I had to stop him from looking for a VCR and TV on that occasion because I knew he’d somehow find both in his travels and I really didn’t want him to spend that money just so I could watch two movies, one of which I’d already seen…

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Lars Von Trier’s NYMPH()MANIAC: Five Hour Erections Guaranteed, No Pills Required.

Posted on October 10, 2013 by geelw

“Side effects may include…”

Soooo, Lars Von Treir’s new film is called Nymph()maniac (or, Nymphomaniac for those of you who don’t get the spelling or the obvious imagery from that simple teaser poster to the left. Two films. Five hours. Lots of sex. Not for kids (unless you want those freshly traumatized kids who want to strangle you in your sleep for taking them to a Lars Von Trier film). Coming in explicit and non-explicit versions. Probably won’t make its cost back in theaters, but on home video where folks can see it in private. Guaranteed to be controversial on certain “news” channels. And so forth and so on. I was going to run some of the many posters of the cast in solo poses, but they’re probably a bit too NSFW for some tastes. That said, you can check them out (and yes, download them if you like. You KNOW you want to) on the official movie site (they’re HUGE) and go mark your calendar or whatever it is you do when a Von Trier film comes out. Let’s see now… I wonder how many discs these two flick will get when it does get released on Blu-Ray? And if it’ll come in a plain brown wrapper (ha, ha).

Expect half-full theaters on uncomfortable people giggling nervously and looking at the walls or ceiling in spots and the usual fearless hipsters bringing their dates when this one reaches theaters. Well, it hits Europe on Christmas Day 2013 (which is pretty amazing if you think about it), but there’s no North American release date just yet. Hmmmm… I wonder what the US ads and TV commercials will look like once the Puritans get to them?