I Might Not Make Any Resolutions This Year, But Some Of YOU Need To…

The Seat MonopolizerYeah, you know who you are, you too many seats taken on public transit, loud music blastin’ and/or cellphone talkin’, toe-pickin’, generally nasty to see in public types who think everywhere is perfect for your personal palace needs. You kings and queens of disgusting behavior are so bad that Miss Manners would throw you over her knee and spank you. But yes, she’s too darn nice for that (although I do believe she may change her mind on a few fronts this year).

You folks with the icky habits need to clean up your act this year, but at home and not out in public where you can make people want to toss their cookies at you. There are a few other people who can take that same train to Politeville, as it Just. So. Happens to make an scheduled stop in the village of Common Sense. Read on for two more types of fellow travelers who need a nice vacation and some proper reeducation about living in the modern age…

 

1: People Who Do Movie Stunts Without Knowing That They’re Actual (Dangerous) WORK
– Physics is a total bitch if you don’t understand it, kids. Anyway, how is it that YouTube is killing off video game clips for music copyright violations or whatever and not BANNING outright the countless videos of very dumb people who try and fail to recreate assorted movie gags, often with some pretty horrible injuries. Granted, every fool who leaves the gene pool because he or she fails to understand the difference between setting oneself on fire on a film set and setting oneself on fire in a back yard are two VASTLY different things. Toss in car ramp stunts (Oh, I can’t wait to see some prankster try that stunt above on his unsuspecting wife or girlfriend), water stunts and yes, actual fist to face fights where someone is bashed on the head with a real chair and not a balsa wood one and yeah, basta es basta – see you in the ICU, pal. Or not.

2: “Reality” TV “Stars” and the shows they live on– Nope, I’m NOT jealous or anything at ALL, as the bar isn’t being raised any higher than worm level at this point and the worms are leaping, LEAPING, I say over with ease. Sure, I get that it’s entertaining to see all sorts of parts of my country I’d probably never visit and plenty of local color that’s full of entertaining stories and all sorts of down-home charm. But hell, why are ALL of these show basically filled with the EXACT same types of personalities out of some crap cult sitcom from the 1960’s? Probably because the producers of these shows know who and what they want and get people to fill those parts while embellishing the rest with the help of those folks who want their fifteen minutes of fame and a paycheck who don’t mind selling out and cleaning up. Once you’re on tee-vee, the clock starts and you start getting noticed and invited to all the right parties.

The flip side is, your actual personality eventually comes out and some people will be “shocked” by your behavior as if they’ve never seen someone make an ass of himself because they’re on a cloud of a few different varieties. Or they’re just being true to themselves (which is fine, except ignorance isn’t bliss in this century of news traveling faster and often from the past about one’s behavior, like it or else). Of course, the fans of these shows may scream and howl my way, but I challenge any of you to live without your favorite crazy people for a single month and see if you miss them after that. I bet they’ll be like that crazy uncle you only see once a year and never want to again (until he pops in next year). Truth be told, I don’t care about RTV at all – my ulterior motive is to get this crap off the air and more scripted fiction back as well as channels that have History, Learning and Discovery in their names to get back to what they were intended for, grrrr.

This list is actually longer, but I’m in the process of reeducating myself so I don’t get beaten up once I add those other types of people at some point in a future post. Granted, some types of people are being folded into other types of people and kicked out of camp because they don’t have any particular issues other than not wanting to get smarter about life in general and you can’t fault someone for that (unless they’re an old dog who hates learning a old trick they should have picked up years back). Remember, dear hearts – everything I do, I do for you. That’s called tough love, baby!

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