The Invasion Has Begun (Finally!)…

Posted on January 3, 2015 by geelw

Yeah, yeah. Some of you have this budget-priced collection of mostly crappy sci-fi/fantasy flicks with a few old TV shows no one over a certain age knows about already. But I’m late to the party and loving it, warts and all. I’ll probably drop in a few Random Film of the Week posts on some of these flicks at some point. I spent too much of last night and early this morning scanning through some of the fifty films spread across a dozen discs mostly laughing my head off or having my eyes pop out of my head at some of the wilder films. I’d actually seen some of them long ago on TV but forgot all about them, so being reminded that they existed was probably the most amusing thing.

That said, it’s too bad the video formatting and picture quality is all over the map in this set. The best-looking films are some of the made for TV stuff or the older black and white films and TV shows that were made to fit screens of a certain size. Some of the theatrical features suffer with the sides if images chopped off and/or too grainy/too dark transfers that make them hard to sit through. Still, a few of the gems I’ve wanted to see again are here, so R.O.T.O.R. is going to crack me up all over again and probably be close to the top of the list as a review. or perhaps I’ll do Slipstream, a really offbeat sci-fi flick with Mark Hamill and Bill Paxton I’d only heard and read about but never saw until last night. We’ll see, however. I only made it through two full movies and seven discs worth of watching assorted clips before I keeled over. The entire set is 70 hours, 34 minutes and I’ll probably watch every second. Even those awful Rocky Jones, Space Ranger shows from the 50’s will get a look-see from me. Hey, I have to know what my folks were watching back in the day, right?

Well, at least I won’t be whining about having nothing to watch for a while, right?

Random Film of the Week: Strait-Jacket

Posted on January 1, 2015 by geelw

Something has always bugged me about the 1964 William Castle horror/thriller flick Strait-Jacket ever since I first saw it as a kid. Nope, it’s not the too close to Psycho plot points courtesy of writer Robert Bloch (who also wrote that classic). And it’s certainly not Joan Crawford’s wide and wild-eyed performance as Lucy Harbin, the freed after twenty years in an asylum ax murderess now going through a potential relapse victim as the bodies start piling up again. It’s also definitely not Castle’s direction that downplays some of the camp potential of the material and goes for a handful of genuinely nifty 60’s era shocks.

Nope. What bugged me about the film that still bugs me today is how the hell George Kennedy’s creepy farmhand Leo painted three quarters of a car with the smallest damn can of paint and what looks like a two or three-inch wide brush. HOW DID HE DO THAT?!!
Continue reading →

Random Film of the Week: To The Devil… A Daughter

Posted on December 22, 2014 by geelw

Swiping bits from Rosemary’s Baby, The Exorcist while leaving a “Why the hell am I watching this again?” aftertaste, To The Devil… A Daughter manages to be a pretty bizarre and somewhat unintentionally 1976 funny horror film from Hammer Studios. From what I understand by poking around a few books and online, the UK film industry was in a bit of a mess when this mess was made and it shows in a few key areas. Granted, you do get Christopher Lee in a scenery-chewing performance for the ages (including a brief nude scene performed by a double!) and Richard Widmark making a payday and playing an occult writer turned cranky old action hero long before Liam Neeson.

Yes, you also get a too young Nastassia Kinski flailing about and screaming as if possessed (well, she kind of is) in her part as a fallen “nun” and trying too hard to keep up with the other more experienced cast doing their own screaming and flailing about. Yes, the film is also notorious for the infamous bloody baby demon hand puppet molestation and a shot near the finale of her fully nude. While some genre fans may groove on that little detail, for some new viewers those elements will just come off as creepy central.. and not in a good way, either. Continue reading →

THE FLY: Outbreak – IDW Invokes Cronenberg, So It Better Be Worthy…

Posted on December 17, 2014 by geelw

Hmmm. As a David Croneberg fan, I get the shaky eyebrow whenever someone uses his name to sell a project, particularly one linked to one of his better major studio horror films. That said, I’ll give IDW Publishing a bit of a break (wrist or ankle – see the film and you’ll get a chuckle from that, I hope) for its upcoming five-part miniseries THE FLY: Outbreak. While the press release isn’t giving much away in terms of the plot, if what’s below is done up correctly, it just may work for even the most jaded fan of the film. To wit:

Years ago, a scientist had a horrific accident when he tried to use his newly invented teleportation device and became a human/fly hybrid. Now his almost-human son continues to search for a cure for the mutated genes. But a breakthrough turns into a breakout, and anyone exposed risks turning into a monster as well…

Now, to me, that sounds like a mix of 1959’s Return of the Fly and the not at all needed 1989 sequel to Cronenberg’s film, The Fly II, but in what’s looking to be more the capable hands of writer Brandon Seifert (Hellraiser, Witch Doctor) and artist menton3 (Silent Hill, Monocyte).

Of course, this got me wondering if Cronenberg’s idea for a “sequel” that’s been in limbo for a few years (studio politics at work again, whee!) is finally going to see the light of day and the green light that means he can shoot the damn thing. I didn’t even think that a proper sequel or remake was even possible, but I trust Cronenberg to always shake things up and deliver the unexpected. But I guess let’s have this IDW book hit the stands and see how it sells first before buzzing about anything else that lands on movie screens a few years down the pike…

Random Film of the Week(end): Camel Spiders

Posted on December 14, 2014 by geelw

Okay, I was bored, annoyed and in the mood for something stupid to waste about an hour and a half or so. That sort of opening line is usually reserved for someone confessing to a crime of some sort. But it was my excuse for sitting down last night to watch Camel Spiders, a 2011 direct to video “B” flick so laughable and intentionally awful that it made me forget about most of the stuff bugging me.

Initially, just seeing the title made me laugh enough to want to check it out and see if it was as cheesy as it sounded. But it wasn’t until about 2/3 of the way in that I remembered that “Camel Spiders” are real, really large and have a somewhat larger following. Well, I’m sure those so-called fans would run the other way (and right into a wall) if they came across one or more of these eight-legged freaks in real life. Unlike too many of the victims in this dopey film who just stand there and get attacked or approach those puppy-sized pests with curiosity that just gets them killed off quickly… Continue reading →

Kitchen Nightmares III: Holding Patterns (and Who Can I Sue If I Drop Dead of Starvation?)…

Posted on November 30, 2014 by geelw

So, the kitchen here still hasn’t been returned to its normal state, but the work is set to begin on December 5th. The stove can still be used, but once the sun goes down, you’re taking your life in your hands if you try to chop anything in the kitchen. Sure, I can sit in the living room and get all rustic with a cutting board in my lap or on the coffee table, but there’s something so odd about doing this (and yeah, one slip means I’ll be adding a body part to whatever I’m cooking). I’ll have to bug the management here about some sort of cooking/meal solution once the repair/rebuilding work gets underway. Once it starts, the kitchen will be off limits for at least four days straight and then a few days more after a weekend break. Bleh. I hope to hell they don’t think I’ll be ordering out or eating fast food for all that time, as that’s not a good idea for me for a few reasons.

(Thanks, SeriouslyDead!)

Feh, at this point I just want this long national nightmare to be over so I can go back to living like a normal person. Maybe I’ll slap on some zombie makeup and start groaning at the workmen when they show up to spur them to get the job done faster. Then again, the lack of craftsmanship and care here is pretty shocking. The team that removed the asbestos from the kitchen had a fat guy who busted the burners on the stove AND chipped the paint on the stove because he stood on them when he was doing the ceiling. Gyahhh. I despise that sort of idiocy. Okay, let me go lie down before I bust something.

Film Review: EXTRATERRESTRIAL

Posted on October 29, 2014 by geelw

The Vicious Brothers’ (Colin Minihan and Stuart Ortiz) third film, EXTRATERRESTRIAL is a sci-fi/horror hybrid that takes its cues from plenty of genre films with interestingly mixed results. If you go in expecting something completely original, you may be mildly to moderately disappointed. On the other hand, it’s a fine example of the perfect mindless popcorn flick if you go in blind and let what’s here smack you around during its 106 minute running time.

Yes, it’s formulaic and yes, it’s maybe a few minutes too long thanks to some visual effects overindulgence, slow build-ups to stuff you know will happen and what I like to call a “jump & thump scare” sound mix where loud noises carry fright scenes more than the actors. Warts and all, you can clearly see the Brothers have scads of talent in what they do and how they do it – they just need a bit more polish in the polishing things up department… Continue reading →

MAN CRATES Wants to Check Your Horror Scenario Survival Skills. There Just May Be a Test Later…

Posted on October 27, 2014 by geelw

Photo: MAN CRATES

Okay, given that the world is both looking like and turning into a real-life horror movie, it’s best to be well prepared for all sorts of emergencies. Fortunately, we have the fine folks at MAN CRATES (which always needs to be spelled in BOLD caps when written and yelled out loud when said, by the way) to help out in a pinch.

Okay, I’ll admit it, I’m not very much prepared for any disaster because I tend to avoid them by curling up under a few blankets and not looking out the window until it’s SO quiet that I hear nothing but the butterflies flitting by and the morning dew drying on the leaves seven floors below. But that’s no longer an option in this age of potential panic situations popping up without so much as a moment’s notice.

MAN CRATES to the rescue? Oh, yes indeed… Continue reading →

Sunday Gives Me Both Barrels, But I’ll Be Quite Alright…

Posted on October 26, 2014 by geelw

(Thanks, John Thomas!)

And how was/is YOUR Sunday? Mine is pretty lousy at the moment, but pretty much everything’s fixable with some time and a bit of money. My home PC decided to flip out and not want to boot up properly, my backup solution isn;t working (thank goodness for the laptop), the connection today is super-slow, I accidentally broke the paper holder on one of the printers here (nothing a little glue can’t fix, but it was a total “DUH!” moment when it happened), my Logitech G15 finally died, I can’t find the driver CD for my gaming mouse, some of the plants I was growing decided to keel over thanks to the temperature changes this past week and I still need to get to that pile of laundry I was supposed to do last week, but kept putting off because of so many games coming in and me needing to get to them. Yaaaaah. There are a few other things going on as well, but those are for me to know and you to not find out.

(Thanks, DreamWorksTV!)

Eh, small world problems, but all happening around the same time makes for a REALLY annoying day. Eh, here’s a little laugh for you while I get back to trying to actually be something resembling “productive” today. Back in a bit…

PlayStation Store’s Sale of the Dead Brings You Some Scary Good Bargains…

Posted on October 25, 2014 by geelw

(shakes fist at monitor)… Stupid Sony. Having another PSN sale on some stuff I might want just when I’m poking around for something light and kind of fluffy to play between bigger games. Yeah, I got Dead Nation (finally) for under 4 bucks, but stopped there because I do have some things to take care of here outside the gaming sphere. Anyway, check out the long list of games, movies and TV shows (okay, mostly movies and TV shows, as the game presence is a bit limited this week) for some decent deals if you’re looking to stock up on content for one of your consoles or that Vita you’re not telling anyone you own for some oddball reason.

Or, hell… at least get Dead Nation if you own a Vita. It’s a ton of fun so far and I just may want someone around to hop online with in the not too distant future…