The fun is back, oh sweet revenge!
Your victims will soon feel
Humiliation and then death
From a banana peel!
Oh, yeah, I’m on a roll now, kids. Well, perhaps not. I wasn’t planning on writing a crappy poem today, but it just popped out when I saw that screen with the gal slipping on the banana peel. Yep, the deception series is back in a big way, goofy humor and bloody demises and all. Deception IV: Blood Ties slides into retail and onto PSN for the PS3 and Vita on March 25, 2014.
Because it will be the last thing some of you new players will hear before you throw that controller down and start jumping up and down on it. Yes, Dark Souls II is going to be the HARDEST game some of you have played and it’s supposed to be because it wants you to learn how to play it properly. Go in like Kratos on a caffeine high and you’re dead like that steak in the freezer. On the other hand, take time to get into the game and realize you can (and should} be patient as you figure out how to deal with multiple enemies, deathtraps galore, bosses that take up too much real estate and more hazards and you LEARN what to do through pure trial and error. Mostly error if you slip into old habits. March 11 can’t come fast enough, but I dread it because I know this game will EAT any free time I thought of having and my dreams will get darker and grimmer thanks to some of the meaner enemies my poor avatar will face off against.
Thanks, FromSoftware for making my nightmares much more lively. I think I’ll need that Monster Eater Kit I saw at Toy Fair after all…
Ha. On the way back from Toy Fair, I spied not one, but TWO different UPS trucks a few blocks from my place. That means ONE of them has my copy of Earth Defense Force 2025, but neither truck will arrive here for about an hour (booo!), meaning I’ll be sitting here waiting to pounce on the driver as soon as he rings the doorbell downstairs. I think I SHOULD just go down and wait for him, but that’s bad to do because it looks as if I’m stalking him or am some sort of addict lurking around waiting for the man (cue The Velvet Underground in the background). And if that game isn’t in today’s delivery? Well, I guess I’ll live… but the rest of that ice cream in the freezer is going to have a pretty bad evening… (Dun-Dun-DUNNNNN!)
Back in a bit…
Wow. Just as I was typing that “Back in a bit”, the doorbell DID ring and yes indeed, I got my bugs in a box! Okay, so much for productivity tonight, but I am going to set an alarm to let me know when I need to stop playing and get some sleep. I do have a few meetings tomorrow that I can’t be late for and nope, they won’t believe me when I say I was killing giant bugs all night!
I haven’t even played Coilworks’ incredible looking Cloudbuilt yet, but between that very descriptive game trailer above and the lovely screens below, I’m getting a serious Gunvalkyrie meets Mirror’s Edge meets Mega Man vibe – and that’s a damn good thing.
Man, I wish this game was on consoles on a disc so MORE people could play it. The sense of speed and what looks like solid controls only add to the fun, and given the levels seem to be open to each player’s skills, I’m expecting this to be one of those games that’s not played and put away (or deleted) any time soon (unless you’re a total loser who despises a decent challenge). Now I just need to find time to actually play that demo I’m being teased with, as Toy Fair is going to take up a huge chunk of my time for the next four days and afterward as I write up a few articles. Eh, it’ll all work out soon enough. It always does. Back in a bit.
Namco Bandai seems to be conducting a little experiment and I’m gathering they need your assistance. For a little while the company has been releasing digital versions of popular Japanese anime-based fighters available overseas as retail and digital purchases, and now they’re trying out a limited edition physical release to go with the (to some) more convenient downloads.
JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All-Star Battle is coming sometime this Spring via PSN (digital) and as a limited edition physical disc (ClubNamco.com and Amazon.com). No price has been announced just yet, but I think it’s a good idea as even niche games have fans who want them who can’t buy digital only product. Ever busy developer CyberConnect2 shows once more they’re the master of making anime fighters look as close to their source material as possible, as you can see above and in the screenshots below.
As for what’s on that disc or download, below the jump is some cut ‘n paste press release work plus those eleven screens… enjoy!
While I’m not what I’d call a regular viewer of South Park, I’ve seen enough episodes of the show that I have to give veteran developer Obsidian huge credit for getting it right. I love how the game pokes at some traditional RPG/JRPG tropes (gotta love that main character with amnesia and no speaking voice!) while also nailing the rhythm of the show in the editing and other bits. It’s a good thing Ubisoft picked this up after original publisher THQ went under, as it’s got hit written all over it (provided you’re a fan of the show, of course). How this will do outside the show’s base is tough to say, as I know some folks despise the art style and limited animation the show uses. I’m not one of those, by the way. Anyway, March 4 is the big day for this one, so keep an eyeball peeled if you haven’t placed a pre-order yet. I have the feeling this may sell out in a few spots and be one of those overpriced eBay titles if it scores highly with the critics and people make it a surprise sleeper hit. Yeah, it’s NOT supposed to be for the kids, but you know how THAT always goes with South Park games, right?
Well, this is a pretty neat Valentine’s Day post for you warm-hearted Kleenex-carrying freaks out there who get all weepy at the drop of a hat. I’ve heard of like-minded gamers proposing in all sorts of online only games and I think I even recall proposals given by game developers for fans of certain titles. However, I believe this is one of the first proposals I’ve seen made by one person for another using a game editor. I still haven’t gotten around to buying or playing Divinity: Original Sin yet (hey, my backlog is killing me!) Okay, I’ll admit it… I’m a kind of (shh!) hopeless romantic at heart (shhhh!), so this stuff makes me grin inside (I can’t let the world see me smile much – it hurts my curmudgeonly image a bit).
Okay, I’m not THAT cranky and this is pretty sweet. LESSON: video games aren’t all about running around and killing each other dead and some are even wonderful at allowing players the freedom to pull off super cool stuff like this. Well, congratulations and best of luck to the happy couple and everyone else who’s going to be hitched because of their love for Larian Studios and their excellent game!
I think I’m the only person I know who wasn’t hesitant about buying a Wii U because I knew Bayonetta 2 was an exclusive. PlatinumGames has gone through hell thanks to fans begging, pleading and even threatening them to get this on other systems, but the team has stuck to their guns and as Nintendo is publishing this one, the chances of this popping up elsewhere are ZERO. Unless Platinum decides to recode this at some point, which I’d say isn’t going to happen. I have to give them all the respect in the world for sticking to their guns on this and I also say if you own a Wii U, you need to support these hard-working guys by buying this game as soon as it drops for full price and not waiting a few months or longer for a price drop when no one notices you picking up the game at a discount. That’s NOT support, folks (despite it being the big thing to do with PC games in those charity bundles). It may seem backwards, but the big three still rely on day/week one buyers to get games such as this selling well enough to justify their development costs AND keep people employed at the end of the day…
Hmm, judging by the spike heel now sticking out of my ear (ouch), I think Bayonetta wants me to let her go so she can get back to that game she’s starring in soon. Well, I shall do just that (and remember not to squeeze her so much while typing). Ouch.
Lovely. Jazzpunk is right up my alley, folks. It’ll run on my old PC or laptop, it’s bizarre as hell and manages to cover that 90’s cyber-fantasy stuff much better than most games made IN the 90’s did. Yes, I played plenty of them back in the day from excellent to absolutely putrid and I still have some pretty awful flashbacks about Virtuoso and Cyberdillo on the 3DO and don’t even get me started on those Lawnmower Man games (yes, there were a few of them). Anyway, this one’s on sale for a few more hours on Steam (you save three bucks for another 20 hours), so go check it out if you’re curios after seeing that video above. These posts are coming in short bursts today because of the crappy weather outside and the fact that the library is closing early today thanks to that crappy weather (boo).
Are you OK? That cup that sailed across the room and smacked you in the skull knocked you clean out of your chair! And so it goes with games that come out of nowhere. The madmen (and probably women as well) over at Sweden’s Coffee Stain Studios have come up with a pretty wacky game that’s buggy as hell and in their own words, you’d be better off buying something else:
Disclaimer
Goat Simulator is a small, broken and stupid game. It was made in a couple of weeks so don’t expect a game in the size and scope of GTA with goats. In fact, you’re better off not expecting anything at all actually. To be completely honest, it would be best if you’d spend your $10 on a hula hoop, a pile of bricks, or maybe a real-life goat.
But guess what? Out of nowhere, this busted pile of code has become one of the hotter indie games of 2014 and yes indeed, you can pre-order it HERE. I wasn’t even sure if I even wanted to play it when I heard of it last week… and then I saw that video above. Okay, I’m sold on the stupid. And of course, that whacked-out tune in the video stuck in my head so Coffee Stain went and made a freaking 26-plusHumor, Video game minute REMIX of the dang thing (enjoy!):
I bet this takes your mind off that cold, snow and mess outside for a bit. I know I’ll have that goofy tune looping in MY brain until the weekend. Um, thanks, Coffee Stain Studios?
"DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!" 