Blade Runner 2049: Wake Up… Time To Cry

Posted on December 19, 2016 by geelw

(Read in Deckard’s voice):

I woke up late and with a headache. This teaser was waiting for me like a cat sitting on my chest with a freshly killed canary in its mouth as a present. Of course, that cat and the canary were from the dream I had last night, but that’s not important. Did you know you can’t accidentally step on a cat in a dream because it’ll always get out of the way? Of course, you can definitely step on an origami unicorn, which is kind of painful if you’re getting out of bed at 3am to go to the bathroom. Ow. Someone keeps leaving those damn things around the house in the strangest places. I found one in a sealed bottle of whisky last week. If it’s Gaff, he’s got some talent… and a weird sense of humor…

Yeah, that makes no sense because I never thought Blade Runner needed a proper sequel. We shall see, though. This teaser copies the languid pacing and gritty future noir tone of the original and yes, seeing an old Ford pop out of the shadows in a grin-worthy sight. That said, if he’s the sole link to the first film cast-wise, it may feel a bit awkward to younger viewers who never saw it or somehow don’t get what the connection is to Gosling and his funky coat. Oh, you can stop doing that Deckard voice now. It was only for that fake quote. I actually did wake up late, though. Off to find some coffee – back in a bit.

-GW

More From The Vaults: Found Object Fridays

Posted on April 25, 2015 by geelw

Hey there- here’s some more random stuff I unearthed from the vaults while my PC was out of action for a few days earlier this week. I ended up making more of a mess “cleaning up” than I did when I left all those bins and boxes alone. But I did find some nice things I knew I’d kept for assorted good reasons. Enjoy the quick trip down memory lane!

If I recall correctly, this sketch was gotten in a rather oddball reverse double back-flip manner at a Creation Con back in 1981 or ’82. I was minding a friend’s table at the show while displaying some of my (lousy) artwork and a man walked up and started looking through my stuff. We chatted for a bit about comics and when he told me his name was Al Kurzrok, I was thrilled because I remembered the outstanding lettering he did for Marvel on Doctor Strange back in the late 60’s. When I noted that to him and asked for an autograph, he asked me for a sheet of paper and did this quick sketch. That was a big day-maker for me back then.

Heh. Back in 1981, a dot matrix printout sure looked “futuristic”, so here you go: The press kit for Peter Hyams‘ sci-fi flick OUTLAND. The film is basically High Noon in outer space with Sean Connery playing the Gary Cooper part. High Noon is a better film by far, by the way. That said, it does have some suspenseful moments (and a few exploding heads, eww), Frances Sternhagen gets the best part and lines in the film and there’s a great Jerry Goldsmith score worth tracking down.

All that and like many of Hyams’s best films, there’s a nice foot chase that perks things up at just the right moment.

I have a lot more ancient history here, but I’ll pull the plug on this installment before I end up making an even bigger pile of stuff in the home office. No need to have to sleep curled up in a closet because there’s way too much stuff on the bed and floor, right?

Runaway Nightmare Trailer: Vinegar Syndrome Brings Back The Bad, Bad Girls…

Posted on May 30, 2014 by geelw

I’d only heard of this 1982 exploitation flick from a few friends who saw it back in the day and this trailer makes me want a working time machine so I could go back to the days of popping downtown to Times Square to catch unabashed junk like this in a double feature guaranteed to make me burn up a few brain cells before all was said and done. You don’t see these films for their “educational” value, that’s for sure! Granted, super cheap ticket prices aside, those bad old days were pretty hairy for movie going in that area, what with the sticky floors, smelly seats and generally rowdy crowds at most theaters save for the first run houses that were kept in as pristine shape as can be. Anyway, this DVD is out July 8, 2014 at the Vinegar Syndrome site, so go grab it, round up a few friends and some suitable eats and have a blast, I say…

Random Film of the Week: Psycho II

Posted on May 6, 2014 by geelw

Well, it’s Mother’s Day this week as well as my birthday (tomorrow, so you still have time to get me that gift or else!), so I’m going to have fun with this week’s pick. While seen as sacrilege to some fans of the original movie, for my money Psycho II is a nice surprise that does well at following up on Norman Bates’ life post-release from the institution he ended up in thanks to his deeds in the original.

Screenwriter Tom Holland and director Richard Franklin get some great (albeit limited) mileage out of Anthony Perkins here as he portrays Norman as trying to live the “normal” life, but ends up instead plagued by forced memories from the past intended to drive him back to his old ways. Or perhaps he’s hallucinating all that bad stuff? Whatever the cause, bodies start piling up (well, the actual death count is small compared to other films of the era), the mystery deepens and it’s not until the final reel that things become clear with a double twist corker of an ending that’s still amazing… Continue reading →

Random Film of the Week: The Thing

Posted on January 16, 2014 by geelw

So, it’s John Carpenter’s birthday and once more, I find myself writing about The Thing. The last time it was a dissection of that disappointing 2011 prequel and this time, it’s a little look back at what I think is one of the scariest mainstream sci-fi/horror films of the 80’s that still works today thanks to how well it was put together. The overall tone of relentless, deliberate dread the film sets up from the very beginning is claustrophobic and overpowering as you’re sucked into the story about the doomed men of Outpost #31.

I saw this back in 1982 and the film really pushed the envelope of what could be done with practical effects so much that even today most of Rob Bottin’s (and that brief slice of Stan Winston’s) groundbreaking work holds up as believable. Of course, the story and excellent cast also make this one such a killer film to curl up with that I’d even recommend it to those who hate horror movies just because everything clicks so well…
Continue reading →

Androids May Not Dream of Electric Sheep (But I Bet They Dream About These Gorgeous Blade Runner Figures)

Posted on August 30, 2013 by geelw

(Photo from Geek Exchange Figures by Scott Pettersen)

“They’re my friends… I made them!”

Wow. It’s REALLY too bad these aren’t mass produced, as I can see a load of hard core Blade Runner fans wanting to get their paws on the entire set of these spectacularly detailed dolls… er, action figures… er, works of art. Scott Pettersen, a huge fan of the film and a ridiculously talented sculptor has made possibly the best looking non-licensed collectibles I’ve ever seen, so I’m speechless and you should check out his site yourself and wear a drool cup while visiting, as there’s a load of other wonderful goodies there (and some of it is for sale). The man’s got T-A-L-E-N-T… although an owl with that Rachel figure in her office suit would have been wickedly cool to see.

Other than that, speechless…

Swamp Thing Headed to Blu-Ray/DVD August 6: Still A Coin Toss For This Fan…

Posted on July 31, 2013 by geelw

I wasn’t the biggest supporter of either of the two Swamp Thing films as neither was as close to the comics as I’d have liked and even the 70+ episode TV series was hugely flawed (but the makeup and costume were superb by that time). Still, after recently watching a friend’s copy of the DVD (it’s the recalled 2000 version he lent me, by the way), I have to say I don’t dislike it as much as I did back in 1982. I definitely liked it a LOT more than the stupidly campy sequel (which has a grand total of ONE really funny line in it that was worth the ticket price) and inane kiddie cartoon series created primarily to sell toys to parents who probably would be shocked out of their skins by the darker tone of many of the first ten issues of the original comics by Len Wein and Berni Wrightson and especially Alan Moore’s later (and much darker) run on the series that featured some amazing scripts and still stunning artwork primarily from Steve Bissette, John Totleben and Rick Veitch.

Of course, those who were kids when the films, cartoon or TV show were new may feel otherwise, so there’s that to consider. Of course, I’ve always “gotten” the weirder elements of the character and for some kooky reason, he’s been one of my favorites to draw (so I guess that piece above can indeed be called “fan art”, whee). Anyway, I’m not sure just yet if I’ll buy this new Blu-Ray/DVD combo pack, but it’s nice to know it exists if I decide to take the plunge…

It’s Hump Day and Conan Still Hates Camels.

Posted on July 10, 2013 by geelw

OK, this camel-socking joke has a (VERY) short lifespan, but I’d forgotten about the cinema from Cauldron’s 2004 game Conan (or Conan: The Dark Axe), which never got a US release. It’s not bad for what it is (I own the PC, PAL format Xbox and GameCube versions), clocks in at about 8 or 9 hours the first time through and has versus and survival modes that strangely enough don’t allow you to play as Conan(!). Anyway, yeah… more digital animal abuse (again!) just means I get put on that camel hit list again (which is why I avoid zoos, deserts and anything else where there’s a chance I’ll be set upon by pissed off humpbacked four-legged creatures. Well, I’ve had dreams with camels in them, but I’ve never punched one and they’ve pretty much left me alone…

Wednesday Is BUMP Day For Camels on Conan’s Calendar…

Posted on July 3, 2013 by geelw

(from ptyalisme)

Well, now. I guess I can take it this also means Mr. Conan doesn’t need any car insurance either? Well, he doesn’t even have a car in those movies, so… Hmmm, I just realized that this joke only works if you live in the US and watch TV commercials, so anyone reading this outside the states is probably very baffled (or even more so than usual). Anyway, poor camel! Well, I guess it’s better to take a lump to the dome than cough up a lung or two smoking those nasty cigarettes he’s been peddling on the side. I guess that’s another American joke too, huh? Karma is a bitch, folks. Of course, all this means is Arnold is coming back as a camel in his next life and that camel? He’s probably coming back as Bruce Lee and he’ll have Camel Arnold’s address very well memorized. If I’m around that long, I’ll be sure to post the results of that match here…

Random Film of the Week (Fore!): The Beast Within

Posted on May 30, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, Deathdealeus1984!)

the beast within 1 Since we’re in the 17-year cycle of cicada “season” (and not a one has popped up around here thanks to it being too cold AND the fact that all that deep digging heavy landscaping work in the area over the past two plus years has probably mashed a few hundred million eggs but good), I figured I’d reminisce about this rather wild 1982 horror flick that’s either really good or really awful depending on your tastes. I paid to see The Beast Within on its initial release and along with a few friends, ended up sitting in a coffee shop afterward discussing how underwhelmed, amused and bored we were by this so-called shocker.

That “BEWARE” or “WARNING!” in big letters on the posters is kind of right at least in one way – this is one worth watching only if you realize that it’s not quite all it’s cracked up to be and relies on one good effect sequence dragged out a wee bit too long. Granted, the revolutionary effects work in the that transformation sequence makes for the best part of the film. But having to sit through the draggy bits and broken storytelling might put you to sleep before you get to the best stuff it has to offer… Continue reading →