School Girl Zombie Hunter: Lock Up Your Daughters, Indeed

Posted on December 16, 2016 by geelw

Hoooo… boy. Yep, I love my quirky Japanese games and all, but this trailer for developer Tamsoft’s upcoming Japanese PS4 action game SGZH: School Girl Zombie Hunter is destined to get a lot of people’s heads aflame for some pretty obvious reasons. If you’re one of those creaky, cranky humorless sorts who’ve disliked (or have never even heard of) their Onechanbara games for their outright M-rated combo of splashy cartoon gore and copious amounts of exposed near (but never totally)-nude female flesh (although, to be fair, some of the hideous undead enemies in these games wear less), SGZH will have your eyeballs fly right from their sockets as the trailer below the jump goes from sassy to sewer level if you watch it all the way to the end.

Um, don’t let little kids or anyone easily outraged by what their brain will tell them to think when they see this, watch unless you’re into defending your potential entertainment options, mmmmkay?

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Yooka-Laylee Capital Cashino Trailer: Playtonic’s Platforming Playhouse Arrives In 2017

Posted on December 13, 2016 by geelw

Well, the really good news is this Rare-inspired platformer now has a release date and more great-looking screens to go with that trailer above. The sort of bad news is the Wii U version has been sent to the glue factory, but the silver lining is it’s headed to Nintendo Switch at some point. Screens you want, screens you get thanks to my handy YouTube channel you should probably subscribe to now that I’ve figured out how to use the darn thing. I don’t monetize, so fear not – you’ll get no spam or even a slice of stale bread to have that spam on.

Press release perusal? Jump down, watch for spikes.

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What’s Cookin’?: (Almost) Everything in Moderation…

Posted on December 11, 2016 by geelw

Yep, I’m still alive. My brain has been percolating a lot these past two weeks on stuff galore, so it’s been tough to focus on being too entertained. That said, I do like what Nintendo is up to on a few fronts despite me not even being interested in Super Mario Run because I don’t own an Apple device (yuk!), have zero plans to buy it on Android and even it it rears its cute run ‘n jump head on Switch, it’ll be a “meh!” as far as making a dent on my playlist. While a decent platformer gets played here and there by yours truly, I just don’t get that same thrill I used to back in the arcade to 32-bit era. A new Mario game gets the same sigh and pass as a AAA first-person shooter from me, Miyamoto magic or not.

Yeah, it’s cool and all, but I just can’t. The good here (it’s only ten bucks! – take THAT, $99.99 mobile game DLC!) is counterbalanced with the need for an always online connection to play. But given that ALL mobile games need to connect online at some point during play and Nintendo’s strict requirement is to prevent piracy and cheating, it comes off as a necessary evil more than a draconian law being laid down.

Well, to me at least.

On the other hand… The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild? Yep, sold. I’ve even gone and bought a few Amiibo to use in order to take advantage of the freebies that drop if you’re smart enough to have a few lying around. Hell, I was Amiibo-resistant until Hyrule Warriors revealed you can get five random gifts per day just by tapping figures on the Gamepad.

Anyway, let me close here for now and get back to cooking my actual dinner. My mind clears up a lot when I cook, so this post is a result of a meat sauce with ground turkey playing the part of beef. That’s going with some linguini that…(taste!) just turned al dente. Back in a bit, a trip to planet Nom awaits.

-GW

LET IT DIE: A Valuable Lesson In Letting Go On A Few Fronts

Posted on December 6, 2016 by geelw

Oh, it’s been nuts here of late, but I’m still alive. This year has been a busted Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride on crack (or maybe this), so my brain is in the process of processing a ton of stuff. Got a big backlog of stuff to get to, but I’ve managed to slide into a few new things to kick my creativity back into place. Or in English: LET IT DIE is helping out a lot. To wit:

“Violence is a very horrible thing. That’s what you’re learning now. Your body is learning it… You felt ill this afternoon because you’re getting better. You see, when we are healthy, we respond to the presence of the hateful with fear and nausea. You’re becoming healthy, that’s all. By this time tomorrow, you’ll be healthier still.”

Thank you, Dr. Branom! I’ll be back later with a cheerier post, folks.

-GW

Ni no Kuni II: RENEVANT KINGDOM – Level-5, At The Top of Their Game

Posted on December 3, 2016 by geelw

Feh, who needs Final Fantasy and its overly complex kitchen sink boy band kettle-pot plot latest entry when Level-5 is simply making some of the best, if not THE best pure JRPGs out there today? Don’t get me wrong, folks. I don’t hate FF at all. It’s just moved so far into being too hip/ster and modern for my tastes with each installment. The first Ni no Kuni was fantastic, albeit a wee bit too epic in length if one wanted to see and do it all. Sadly, my PS3 was stolen before I got to complete the game (over 90 hours was put into those save files), but this sequel got me pumped to dive in for more and more stunning visuals now that it’s a PS4 game. Just ogle the hand-drawn and painted magnificence (oh, alright, it’s all digital, but still!) and hear that solid voice acting knowing you’re in good hands with this upcoming console exclusive. Lovely work here, just beautiful and I can’t wait to dive in.

-GW

New Death Stranding Trailer: The Good, The Mads, And The Ugly

Posted on December 3, 2016 by geelw

So. I didn’t watch The Game Awards this year because these sorts of back-slapping shows are meaningless for the most part, but I did catch a few YouTube vids of cringe-worthy moments I won’t discuss here. That said, the best thing saw post-show on YouTube next to new Zelda footage was this bizarre update to Hideo Kojima’s new and still in development PS4 exclusive, Death Stranding. The first trailer was a total brain-masher that people spent too much time dissecting, so you know that second one above was even more disorienting.

If you didn’t catch it, the guy holding the odd baby looks a wee bit too much like director Guillermo del Toro and that’s definitely Mads Mikkelsen with the inky stuff on his face. I have no idea what this game is going to be about, but like a bunch of people in the same boat, I want it just to see how Kojima and his team can pull it all together into something somewhat cohesive yet still intentionally baffling. Okay, there’s really nothing “ugly” about this trailer at all – I just needed to get a catchy title and that popped into my head first.

-GW

Maize Launch Trailer: Fresh Corn’s The Best

Posted on December 1, 2016 by geelw

I’ll just leave this here because I’m busy, but really need to play this at some point because it’s one of the weirder game ideas I’ve seen brought to life:

Yep. That’s… odd. I like odd. And it’s on sale, too. You may never eat corn again. Or you will, but you’ll look at it funny when out at the market.

-GW

Arrow Video December: If You #TBT These, They’ll Come After You

Posted on December 1, 2016 by geelw

My email is hiding stuff from me again, so this post is later than usual. As that title suggests, While today IS a Throwback Thursday, trying to do that with anything Arrow has this month will just get them mad at you and your wistful reminiscing. Just buy them and be scared or giddy or whatever you do best when you pick up a horror flick you fondly or fearfully recall.

HELLRAISER: THE SCARLET BOX LIMITED EDITION TRILOGY (12/13, $124.95)- Pre-order/order at the MVD SHOP or on Amazon

These terrifying and original films boast brand new 2k restorations along with hours of archival content and newly produced extras including audio commentaries and interviews with Clive Barker, Doug Bradley and Sean Chapman in his first interview on the Hellraiser films in decades.

The 4-disc set will also include the newly edited version of Leviathan, the definitive documentary on Hellraiser and Hellbound: Hellraiser 2. A new documentary, Hellraiser: Evolutions, will also be included and will look at the evolution of the hit horror franchise and its enduring legacy.

These features will sit amongst a host of rarities and never-before-seen footage from the movies including the legendary ‘Surgeon’ scene from Hellbound: Hellraiser 2, the subject of fierce debate amongst fans for many years, now finally unearthed for its home video debut.

This limited edition Blu-ray comes with an exclusive illustrated 200-page hardback book featuring new writing from Clive Barker archivists Phil and Sarah Stokes and a 20-page booklet featuring never-before-seen original Hellraiser concept art. The limited edition packaging is adorned with incredible new artwork from Gilles Vranckx alongside a set of 5 exclusive art cards and a fold-out reversible poster.

Read on below the jump for a novella’s worth of features…

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Zelda: Breath of the Wild Site Is A Breath of Fresh Air Today

Posted on November 30, 2016 by geelw

Yep. While the disappointment of the release slipping possibly into next summer is a bit annoying, the fact that The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild now has an official site chock full of too much info is a really good thing. Go poke around, please. Especially if you’re a big, cranky skeptic who didn’t get the chance to play the demo this past June and think an open world Zelda is somehow a bad idea despite the series being chock full of open world goodness from the very first entry.

-GW

Be Chairman of the Board This Cyber Monday With A Few Cool Card Games

Posted on November 28, 2016 by geelw

So. Need a few gift ideas today but you don’t want to move too many muscles treading over the bones of last week’s defeated? I guess that’s why they call this Cyber Monday, huh? Anyway, if you like board and card games or maybe both mashed together, well, good:

Just click on that lovely art above, buy what you like, sit back and wait until your box of stuff arrives, then wrap and place under tree or in back of closet or wherever if you aren’t an indoor tree-hugger.

If on the other hand, you’re feeling REALLY creative, have a great color printer and are very, very good with cutting things carefully and maybe even using a glue stick and a load of acid-free board to mount stuff on, the extremely aptly titled and incredibly fun 5-Minute Dungeon has a hugely successful Kickstarter with a budget reward for those of you who can’t wait ’til 2017 to play this great family game.

While you can (and should!) get a retail copy of the game (set to ship in 2017), a $5 pledge will get you a print-and-play copy of the game in December. That’s where your printing and cutting skills will come in handy. Of course, if you’re terminally lazy, have no scissors or sharp crafting blades and own a crappy dot matrix printer or a Rexograph machine, this reward will be as useful as a whistle on a plow. In that case, just go pay for the big deal boxed version and go take a nap until next May.