Snow Daze: Be Careful What You Wish For, Folks

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Whee. 20+ inches of snow and counting, but I’m not counting. According to the smiling weather folks on a few channels who seem to be inordinately cheery about all that white stuff outside blowing around and sticking to anything moving or motionless, it’s allegedly supposed to stop around midnight or so. But that also means a more of those dopes who weren’t out today (from my window I saw a few too many people “driving” sideways or walking in the streets while a car or two slid sideways past them) will be out tomorrow because they know no better than to stay indoors with something (or someone) warm and toasty. Oh well.

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I didn’t venture out other than to check the mail only to find out that post office motto really is not true at all, but it seems we may need some more milk after all. So I get to be a dope myself for about ten or twenty minutes, but I do need that cow juice to go into the coffee I’m making that’s required to keep me going though a job I need to plow through that’s due before Sunday is done. Thankfully, the supermarket is less than a block away and the folks who run it live in the area. Then again, I need to step outside for some frozen air anyway, as stir craziness will occur and the dope crashing here who smokes indoors when he shouldn’t (and needs to quit) is going to get a paper hatchet to the head otherwise. Hey, paper cuts can be pretty damn painful, you know…

Attractio: Great Gravity Game’s a Gas


 

Sure, it’s got a serious case of Portal envy, but Attractio is also quite a lot of fun to play because it adds a bit of freshness to the gravity puzzle game formula made user-friendly fun by Valve a bunch of years back. Actually, back when I tried the PS4 demo out at a Bandai Namco event last year the game reminded me of a cross between Portal, The Running Man and a teeny-tiny bit of the old Amiga game The Killing Game Show (aka Fatal Rewind, for you Sega Genesis owners who recall that truncated version of the Amiga game). IF none of those ring a bell, let’s just say that the game is all about trying to think your way out of a series of increasingly deadly puzzles and traps for “fun” and some sort of profit (survival and prizes do go together, right?)

Anyway, the game is out NOW digitally on PC via Steam or PS4/Vita via PSN for $19.99, so if puzzles, gravity and trying not to have your avatar die horribly from embarrassment when he or she gets stuck (or get bumped off by a high fall into some hot lava-like liquid) are your cup of tea, this one’s a recommendation of the most absolute order.

Suicide Squad: Mission: Impossible With Some Bad, Bad Men (& Women)

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So, yup. If that first trailer from last year didn’t get your eyeballs and ears all perked up, Warner says watch this and you’ll be feeling around on the floor for both eyeballs and ears after they’ve popped out of and off your head. Go get something clean like a big plate to put on the floor near your monitor (I’ll wait) and click below:


 

See what I mean? You have until August 5 to find your eyeballs and ears, by the way. Also, if you do find those eyeballs first, go check out the rest of the posters over at Imp Awards just because they’re an even dozen simple and pretty cool designs.

Ziegfeld Fall-ies: “Progress!”: Or Why We Can’t Have (and Keep) Nice Things

Ziegfeld Interior 

So, the famed Ziegfeld Theater is closing soon. Hearing this news earlier did not make my day go any better, folks.

Let’s see now: closing the only remaining theater in NYC with a 70mm screen? BAD IDEA. Turning that theater into a stupid “special events” hall when there are plenty of spaces already? WORSE idea. I’m so annoyed at this I can’t even muster up the energy to rant and spill some history on you guys and gals. Between this news and the recent demises of the big Toys ‘R Us in Times Square, FAO Schwarz further uptown, and the slowly fading actual deli scene this city is dying the lonely death of a thousand cuts in favor of becoming more of a dead-eyed strip mall packed with tourists who come here just to go to higher priced versions of what they already have in their states.

Yeah, yeah – big movies aren’t making as much money as online streaming services generate and in general, shopping is “easier” when you click away and get no exercise as a trade off for free shipping (unless you order too close to Christmas because you think Santa Claus is real and that box will pop up right on time. HA.). But both retail space and big screen movie houses are needed just because not everything looks good on a damned mobile screen or computer monitor, multiplexes lose personality (and hearing films through poorly constructed walls sucks) and hell, it’s just BETTER to see and touch something you want to buy up close and personal. Take a picture, it’ll last longer, indeed. Funny, but not funny – Bow Tie Cinemas also owned the Loews theater near me that got turned into a totally useless Marshall’s that’s a grand, laughable waste of space inside which always looks as if it’s never been cleaned properly.

Yes, Bundle Stars Has TOO Many Deals This Week

Quake Bundle 

It’s probably common knowledge already that game bundles and bundle sites are the best means of getting recent to older titles without waiting around for seasonal deals or hanging around all day on a site hoping for a flash sale to pop up. Bundle Stars continues to give gamers looking for deals aching backlogs and Steam-ed up wallets thanks to a nice selection of deals. This week has seen a wealth of AAA bundle deals like the one above and more great hits in the limited Bundle Fest series that concludes tomorrow. All the week’s Bundle Fest deals end in six days, so you’ll need to act quickly.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go cry in the corner because I’m probably going to add more games to my backlog. Hey, everyone needs a hobby, right? Mine seems to be adding games to my already bursting at the seams library.

If I Had a Hammer (I’d Hit Myself On the Head) Redux

Feh. This past week or so has been a bit too insane partially thanks to more apartment repairs disrupting the daily routine. I didn’t sleep at all Monday night thanks to moving stuff around the apartment (and writing up a game review), so I was passed out by noon Tuesday with a Blu-Ray playing (yes, you should buy this) and a cup of coffee I somehow managed not to spill a drop of. It’s pretty hilarious to wake up all bleary-eyed with a cup of coffee in your hand a guy working on your wall about ten feet away and a subtitled Japanese movie playing. I think the poor plasterer was trying to figure out if I spoke the language or how I could watch a movie with my eyes closed, but I like to confuse people whenever I can. Mission accomplished!

Well, not really…

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PC Review: The Deadly Tower of Monsters

SCARLET_MODEL_1Platform: PC (also on PS4)

Developer: ACE Team

Publisher: Atlus

# of Players: 1

MSRP: $14.99

ESRB Rating: T (Teen)

Official Site

Score: B+ (85%)

 

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Yep, they’ve gone and done it again. Chilean developer ACE Team’s latest game, The Deadly Tower of Monsters is a solid and fun ride that’s going to tickle the fancy of those gamers young to old with a knowledgeable love for “B” movies, primarily of the sci-fi variety. The Unreal engine-powered stylized visuals look great, and the offbeat humor comes from a few angles expected and surprising. While the game may not seem all that lengthy, finding some of its secrets will take some effort. A few flaws (that can be patched) keep it from perfection, but overall this is one of those great little sleepers you’ll want to take for a spin and add to your game library.

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10 Cloverfield Lane: Surprise! J.J.’s Dy-no-mite Trailer Blows Up the Internet


 

Ha and double ha. It seems producer/director J.J. Abrams is The Master of Surprise (not to be confused at all with The Master of Disguise). It also seems no one knew about this new film at all until the trailer dropped on the 15th followed by the sound of jaws dropping and keyboard tongues waggling for days since. Judging by the tagline on that poster, the very brief plot synopsis on IMDB and some bits gleaned from a few re-viewings, it’s clearly *not* a “sequel” to Cloverfield at all (despite all the “Cloverfield 2” posts online since this trailer dropped), but a film that seems to have a similar tone of stuff “out there” and how folks react to it.

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As for that cast, John Goodman? Great in pretty much any role he’s taken and who doesn’t like Mary Elizabeth Winstead? Okay, you three in the back? Get lost. Never heard of the other guy, but I may have seen something he’s in and not recalled his generic mug at all. Hey, I’m getting old… but two out of three ain’t bad in terms of the actors here. Anyway, March 11 is coming up sooner than you think and this may be quite the ride through paranoia whether or not it’s got any monsters in it at all.

As always, we shall see…

Lovely Planet Arcade: The Unknown Known Gets A Fast Followup


 

LPA_headerI’ve heard about, but actually NEVER played Lovely Planet (*gasp!*), so I guess I now need to, thanks to developer QUICKTEQUILA and publisher tinyBuild Games announcing this maybe it’s a sequel? return to the colorful pastel world of the first game. If the zippy and amusing videos of the first game are any indication as to what’s in the second, players can expect a load of challenge and even more good times when the game jumps out of the developer’s talented hands and lands on Steam later this year. Hey, don’t trust me on that last sentence at all – just go read about the game using on of the links above.

I think by the time LPA is released I’ll have played the first game. I hope. My backlog is a mountain of code that needs to be scaled and the clock is always ticking…

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Road to Ballhalla: Brains of Steel Required in This Humorous Hybrid


 

tinyBuild is at it again with another upcoming game bound to entertain and get you out of the casual funk into something far funkier. Road to Ballhalla is coming around the middle of 2016 and if that trailer bove is any indication, it will make a mockery of your gaming skills while teaching you a few things about proper reading comprehension. This will lead to you ignoring real world stuff like speed limit signs or proper parking procedures, which in turn will lead to you having to fight tickets of all sorts by explaining how this game taught you not to trust everything you read. Aha. tinyBuild wants you to disobey rules and orders just so you’re super cautious but still make ridiculous mistakes because you’re silly enough to take what a game it teaching you about IT and try to use those rules in the real world.

tinyBuild, you are EVIL. I still want to play all your games, though (so you’re not so evil after all).

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