Random Film of the Week: The Black Hole

(Thanks, MovieTrailerGrave!) 

the black holeI saw The Black Hole on the first day it was released and was pretty darn disappointed because I felt Disney blew an opportunity to make a more cerebral sci-fi film along the lines of a Forbidden Planet or a 2001: A Space Odyssey in favor of what was more or less a hobbled remake of 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea with dashes of Star Wars, Moby Dick, and a few other bits borrowed from other classic and not so classic books and movies. It’s clearly NOT a “family film” despite the sci-fi/western shoot ’em up moments and two stupid trash can robots with big cartoon eyes that can’t be ignored as to how stupid they look mixed in with the more serious elements.

Thanks to the film not knowing which way to go tonally (and sorry, those robots never mesh with the dark mood and doom-filled dialog), what you have is an often grand looking, intentionally gloom-draped but sloppy sci-fi pastiche that’s too scary for the little kids those dopey robots were made for and too full of decent ideas better executed decades earlier to be a “great” movie. Not counting the awful “science” on display (it gets a pass from me because no one should go to a sci-fi flick expecting actual science!) I’d call it “adequate” at best. That said, there’s a niggling buzz in the back of my head that’s never left even after repeated re-viewings as recent as a few months ago. Then again, I was 17 when I first saw this and thanks to a tired ticket seller and a few early showings had already been exposed to Ridley Scott’s still brilliant ALIEN two years earlier, so my wider-eyed and more innocent eight-year old self was long buried by that point…

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Alien Isolation “Transmission” and “Origins”: Puzzle Pieces Falling Where They Need To…

Hmmmm… As predicted, with The Creative Assembly on the case this time out, Sega’s upcoming Alien Isolation is looking pretty impressive in this introductory teaser and developer diary. Hopefully, the story will work as intended, as I can see some folks not being all aboard the playing as Ellen Ripley’s daughter thing. Me, I’m a wait and see guy myself because I trust The CA to do their best and they’ve always done just that when they make their games. I do like that it’s turning out to be NOT a stupid shoot everything that moves experience and seems to be focusing on story and characters first and foremost.

The only major sticking point to some will be the lack of a Wii U version as the gameplay seems perfect for that GamePad, but such is life in this generation of consoles I suppose. Someone HAS to get a suitable Alien game out on that system one of these days, I say. I’m not sure who, but it would be nice to see one at some point…

Omnicorp’s CES 2027 Lineup Looks Mighty Familiar…

Yes, these are snazzy viral teasers for the RoboCop reboot in case you were thinking I found the key to a TARDIS somewhere and stupidly ONLY brought back this stuff from the future. I’d actually go back to the past a few times and stock up on old comics and a few Van Goghs plus push a few would be dictators off of high balconies or something like that.

Ahem, any-waaaay, these lead ups are quite amusing for sure… now it’s up to the movie to take off and fly right into that box office stratosphere or something corny like that. My mind is otherwise occupied today, so you’ll need to take what’s served up today, sorry!

RoboCop TV Spot #1: There’s A New Sheriff In Town (Metal Suit Version…)

So, here they come. The first of many TV spots for this upcoming remake. Is it me or are people THAT jaded now that this otherwise fine-looking remake/reboot might not be as big as some on the internet are saying? Eh, not that I pay much mind to what others say on the Internet, mind you. I’m just worried that our new “wait it out” culture will wait it out for the first big early review that merely mentions a flaw, cross their collective arms with a mighty “SEE!,I told you it would suck!” and then go torrent the video off some pirate site only to discover it’s not the train wreck they thought. Of course, trying to get those people to pay for anything entertainment wise is a tough haul, but Hollywood loves to keep trying. Me, I think the film will do just fine when it hits a multiplex near you next month.

Of course, I still CAN’T see any darn movies at all around here now that the two closest movie houses are DEAD. Boo. What kind of crap area is this now? We USED to have five theaters in walking distance not so long ago. My “local” theater is now something like four or five miles away at least. Probably more, as I haven’t checked around for a replacement theater in a while. Eh, small world problem considering REAL issues facing too many these days, right? But hey, little things (like a decent cinema) DO mean a lot to some folks…

Alien Isolation: The Creative Assembly Plays The Role Of Redeemer Quite Well Indeed…

Alien_Isolation logo

AI_P1_WALLPAPER_1600x1200So, here we go folks – once more into the breach with Sega and the somehow tougher to make it work right as a video game Alien license. Can you name a decent game made this century with the license that’s not only on PC? I thought not.

While its last two attempts were decidedly of the “mixed results” and “missed opportunities” trains, this time out it’s veteran developer The Creative Assembly at the wheel and Alien Isolation is looking pretty darned scary where it counts (as you’ll see in Three… Two.. One.):

AI_ENVIRONMENT2_WALLPAPER_1600x1200Of course, the boo-bird naysayers are out in force on this thanks to the critical mass that was Aliens: Colonial Marines, so Sega has a lot to live up to and live down even if Isolation is indeed the best game using the license to date.

I trust this team quite a lot as in addition to the incredible Total War franchise on PC, they’ve also had fun making more action-heavy game experiences such as the excellent Spartan: Total Warrior (which is being remade as a PlayStation 4 exclusive!) and the solid Viking: Battle For Asgard (which could use a nice remake or sequel one of these days). So an Alien game from these guys and gals should be (wait for it…) a “walk in the park” to some extent.

Of course, we shall see what the future brings and of course, I’m hoping that people aren’t all screaming into space for all the wrong reasons again. But again, I trust The CA to not go where man has gone before and deliver an Alien experience that’s truly memorable and frightening for all the RIGHT reasons. More on this as it develops…

Random Film of the Week(end): LIFEFORCE

LIFEFORCE_MPIf you were a big sci-fi flick fan around in 1985 and of a certain age, you probably went and saw LIFEFORCE for one of two reasons. You were either a horny guy or gal looking for cheap thrills or you were the girlfriend, husband or wife of that horny guy or gal elbowing your man/woman in the ribs and hissing at him every time Mathilda May appeared on screen, naked as a jaybird or not. Of course, there were most likely couples who saw this and grinned together at her wondrous curves, but let’s not turn this into a more saucy post than it’s intended to be.

Granted, at least a jaybird had feathers and it’s a damn good thing women back in that era weren’t overly obsessed with strategic downstairs depilatory action or this film might not have been as fun to watch as there would need to be some even more strategic editing than what’s here. Based on Colin Wilson’s 1976 novel, The Space Vampires with a screenplay by Dan O’Bannon, directed by Tobe Hooper and chock full of some wild practical effects,lots of blood and some gore, scenery chewing performances from most of the cast and an ending that’s still a bit baffling on a few fronts, this is one of those films that you’ll either love outright for its craziness or hate because after all is said and done, it doesn’t do anything grand with its space vampires at all other than show off how nude they are… Continue reading

Random Film of the Week(end): Killdozer!

I’ve never trusted machines much even though like most of you, I tend to take them all for granted. Heck, we built those stupid machines (and even built the robots that build most machines today), so it’s not like they’re going to NOT do what we want them to like a mistreated pet suddenly turning on its owner, right? RIGHT? Wrong. Granted, plenty of industrial and freak accidents claim some while humans using machines constructed for menial to major tasks to kill other humans has been a thing ever since man started inventing and building stuff. Someone gets mad enough or crazy enough and even the most innocent looking tool gets used to do someone in, usually in a pretty messy manner. If Lizzie Borden had say, an old rolling pin instead of an axe, she might have merely lumped up her parents and not hacked them to bits. Even with an axe, bad aim is still pretty deadly…

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The Time of the Doctor Deleted Scene: Let’s Have A Moment of Silence, Please!

Ah ha ha. See what I did there? No? Well, you’ll get it soon enough if you didn’t. Anyway, that final Matt Smith show was a corker, wasn’t it. No spoilers here, but I’ll say that ending sets up the Peter Capaldi run in a fun little way and makes me look forward to seeing this NEW Doctor at work. I have to give Steven Moffat some major credit for all these past years of plot hints coming in bits and pieces and basically ensnaring fans and non fans alike into sticking with even the silliest of shows because it all makes sense when you see those bits fall into place. I bet there’s a notebook somewhere with a chart and long, long list of whats, whys, when, hows and of course, WHO… but then again, the magic of this show comes from NOT knowing and just enjoying the ride.

So long, Mr. Smith – you’ll be missed, but I bet your Doctor will make an appearance at SOME point during the next 50 years. Better sooner than later, of course…

The Doctor Has Time To Make A Turkey? This Will Be A Long Christmas Episode, I Guess…

Yeah, I know it won’t be a lengthy Food Network-like how-to scene at all, friends. But I got big a laugh the other day when I read the plot synopsis and found that this final Matt Smith episode spans some 300 years (!), which means that’s more than enough time to cook up the biggest bird you can find and then some. Still… I wonder how HUGE a space turkey would need to be to take 300 years to cook and yeah, you’re not putting that raw stuffing inside, buddy. Unless that’s how you need to kill off a massive army of Daleks, Cybermen, Weeping Angels and Silence all intent on doing you in. Of course, that’s NOT how it’s all going to go down (hell, it better not!), but it would be disgustingly awesome to see the episode suddenly turn into that infamous and particularly nasty dining scene from the finale of Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life but with a few spaceships full of aliens barfing all over each other instead of one really massive man making an entire restaurant very sick as he loses his lunch (and dinner and a few breakfasts).

OK, that’s pretty much a big, fat “YUK” just thinking about that happening. But it would be pretty darn memorable, no? Well, then… now that we agree, how about a teeny-tiny slice of pumpkin pie for you, sir or madam?

Fake Time Travel Takes a Big Step Backwards, But Nice Try, Flyonix!

Not Bigger on the InsideWell, I figured SOMEONE would try and make a life sized TARDIS that actually flew one of these days, but the guys at Flyonix did so and made a trio of really fun and funny professional quality videos documenting their process and the initial (and unfortunately first and only) flight of their blue boxy bird. As you can see, things didn’t exactly turn out as well as some of you would like. Well, at least they weren’t crazy enough to put a person inside, right? Of course, you Who purists might be a bit miffed that this version of the TARDIS wasn’t bigger on the inside and all that, but hey – you can only go SO far with actual reality, you know….

Of course, this probably won’t stop them from making a new attempt and yep, I want them to at LEAST get one up, flying and landing safely just so I can like to see an actual TARDIS ride pop up in an amusement park somewhere in the world. Heck, you’d think it would have happened already, but I guess since Disney or Universal hasn’t bought Doctor Who yet (and we certainly don’t want to see THAT happening, correct?) and slapped a themed section into one of their parks, it won’t be a “thing” to experience outside of some fan fiction (eek) or inventors with too much time on their hands and plenty of moxie. Wait… did I just use “moxie” in an sentence in the 21st century? Yes, I did. Time travel DOES exist!