It’s Hump Day and Conan Still Hates Camels.

Posted on July 10, 2013 by geelw

OK, this camel-socking joke has a (VERY) short lifespan, but I’d forgotten about the cinema from Cauldron’s 2004 game Conan (or Conan: The Dark Axe), which never got a US release. It’s not bad for what it is (I own the PC, PAL format Xbox and GameCube versions), clocks in at about 8 or 9 hours the first time through and has versus and survival modes that strangely enough don’t allow you to play as Conan(!). Anyway, yeah… more digital animal abuse (again!) just means I get put on that camel hit list again (which is why I avoid zoos, deserts and anything else where there’s a chance I’ll be set upon by pissed off humpbacked four-legged creatures. Well, I’ve had dreams with camels in them, but I’ve never punched one and they’ve pretty much left me alone…

Scribblenauts Unmasked Will Keep Your Superman Fix Going Into the Fall…

Posted on July 9, 2013 by geelw

Yeah, Warner Bros. Interactive and 5th Cell have got your Superman right here. Pick one from that list above and you’d best believe he’s going to be in action in the upcoming Scribblenauts Unmasked – A DC Comics Adventure,set to launch itself onto Wii U, Nintendo 3DS and PC in September.

To the press release, Robin! (Hey, Batman is in the game too, so I’m just representin’ here!):

Scribblenauts Unmasked – A DC Comics Adventure is a new game that melds the boundless creativity of the award-winning video game franchise with thousands of DC Comics characters and objects across DC Comics worlds – all drawn in the classic Scribblenauts art style.

The game features a story where players embark as protagonist Maxwell on an imaginative and comical quest, taking them through Gotham City, Metropolis, Atlantis and other iconic locales from the DC Comics universe. Fueled by the player’s imagination, Maxwell must use his magic notebook to put a stop to the villains’ evil schemes and save the day! Scribblenauts Unmasked – A DC Comics Adventure will be available on Sept. 24, 2013 for Wii U, Nintendo 3DS and PC.

Lost Planet 3 Monologue Trailer: Talking to Yourself Too Much Will Make You Crazy (About E.D.N. III)…

Posted on July 9, 2013 by geelw

So you like to chat it up when no one’s around – I’ll still hang out with you when your game comes out, Jim. Between the solid losers STILL whining about the game because they think it’s a sequel (it’s a PREQUEL, for the thousandth plus time!) and it’s not like LP2 (which really wasn’t that great a solo experience) or just hating it for being developed in the U.S. of A. and not Japan (hooray for blatant gamer racism? Um, nope). Add in those who haven’t played it who seem to be clairvoyant in their predictions about the game or are even comparing this to games like GTA V (Why? I have no idea.) and you get a game that might have some trouble getting noticed by the hard-headed. Hey, Jim! I got your back, man – and I’ll even though your game comes out in late Summer, I’ll be keeping all the windows open, the fans on full blast AND wearing a hat to keep my ears warm in solidarity as I play LP3. Speaking of hats, Say, Jim? didn’t your grandma warn you about stepping outside without one (or a decent scarf)? You’re going to get ice cubes on your ears!

Grand Theft Auto V Gameplay Trailer: Fall’s Officially A Bust For Productivity In America…

Posted on July 9, 2013 by geelw

It’s always amazing for me to see how Rockstar continues to push the envelope with each new GTA game and Grand Theft Auto V is no exception. September 17 will be a REALLY awful day for productivity across the US and a few other spots this game shows up in, so expect to not see or hear from a lot of folks you probably think aren’t gamers who suddenly disappear for a few days only to pop up for air looking tired as hell but smiling a bit too broadly. For you non-gaming readers, just watch the trailer and let that narrator guide you through why this new GTA is so impressive and important. I don’t play online, but that ending made me grin a bit more at what’s coming in the next trailer. It’s too bad all those time machine plans I see for sale online are trash, or I’d be putting one of those things together just to keep winding time backwards in order to complete the game in a day. As it is now, I’m gathering I’ll be spending a few hundred hours exploring every nook and cranny outside the story mode (as that’s where the game’s bigger secrets will most likely lie)…

Rollers of the Realm Pre-Beta Hands-On: Pinball Wizards Whip Up an Instant Classic

Posted on July 7, 2013 by geelw

I can probably tell you the long and boring story of my first pinball machine memories (1972,Gottlieb’s Batter Up, first version, but I also vaguely recall playing Central Park a few years earlier at Coney Island while standing on a rickety wooden crate), but then you’d be fast asleep and drooling in front of your computer instead of up-voting Phantom Compass’ (and friends!) innovative Rollers of the Realm on Steam Greenlight.

The team is working on what’s turning out to be a superb genre-blending mix of old and new ideas that features some excellent pinball action, decent writing and so far, what’s looking to be the makings of an instant hit that absolutely deserves to be on as many platforms as possible. I signed up to get access to a playable version as soon as I heard this was in development, that pre-beta access popped up in my inbox on Friday and after playing the first chapter a few times, I’m definitely recommending anyone even remotely interested in pinball, RPGs and puzzle games to take a nice long look at this one…

Continue reading →

DARK “3D Features” Trailer: Riding The Double Gimmick Wave…

Posted on July 5, 2013 by geelw

This latest trailer for RealmForge’s upcoming Xbox 360 and PC game DARK shows off both modern and “vintage” 3D visual options. I’m still one of those skeptics about that Oculus Rift being anything but a developer’s dream more than a gamer’s go-to peripheral, but that’s because I haven’t tried those damned fancy eyeball curtains and am getting tired as hell of hearing people claim that it’s such a hot deal. I’m sure I’ll get to give the Rift a go one day and be a-mazed out of my skull, but I don’t trust a product without a release date nor a price point that claims to be affordable and the best thing since sliced bread with bacon baked into it. I guess the best thing to do is dig up my ancient cardboard anaglyph 3D glasses and see how that mode hold up as I look into snapping up the more expensive version of that old tech in the future to see if it’s worth what it’ll cost (which probably won’t be as cheap as I’d like). Eh, whatever – if the game is good without the extra distraction of something on my face, it’s a better thing at the end of the day…

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt – The Epic Making of an Epic (Part One)

Posted on July 3, 2013 by geelw

With all that live action location footage and sweeping camera shots on display in this video plus the promises from the team that this game will be their best yet, it’s impossible not to get a little excited about The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt as development continues on the PC, PlayStation 4 and Xbox One versions of the game. I know I want the game to be the best new RPG on any platform once it’s released, so I’d like to very emphatically suggest that CD Projekt RED keep Senior Writer Borys Pugacz-Muraszkiewicz away from high cliff edges and live wolves, as I actually jumped a little when he was walking too close to a potential nasty fall in one shot and later, probably could have lost some fingers if that wolf he was stroking decided it wanted a finger sandwich during that part of the clip.

Then again, that shot was edited, so it may have been the wolf handler’s hand in one part and Pugacz-Muraszkiewicz’s in the other. or maybe the man has more talents than writing? I guess I’ll have to wait and see if he’s written himself into the game as a character, right? And I’d imagine if he did, that character would have a shorter last name, as twenty spaces is a lot of screen real estate to fill!

Happy Independence Day (Kind of) From Saint’s Row IV, BOOM!!

Posted on July 3, 2013 by geelw

With all the spaceships zipping around, super-powered cast and intergalactic enemies invading earth, some fans are thinking this isn’t a “true” Saint’s Row game at all. Well, other than the open world mayhem and outrageous humor being intact and looking as crazy as ever. I think the game looks like more stupid fun (in a good way), but I’d love to see Volition branch out and do something really unique on the new generation hardware. At this rate, Saint’s Row V will end up being like a Mass Effect game with interplanetary gangs of aliens, eight times the F-bombs and a more free-form combat system full of too many assorted wrestling moves and finishers. I’m not sure I’d like to see that, but I guess that sort of depends on how well this game does and if the Volition has planned out that far ahead…

Oh, You Kids! GTA V on the Xbox 360 Requires An Installation/Play Disc Swap. Oh, The Horror!

Posted on July 3, 2013 by geelw

Yes, there’s another (not really) big-deal barn-burner on some internet boards about the Xbox 360 version of Rockstar’s upcoming guaranteed blockbuster Grand Theft Auto V coming on two discs (the PS3 version is on one Blu-Ray) and requiring a mandatory 8GB install (just like the PS3 version). Of course, anyone who’s played a retail PC game anytime in the past decade or so is used to games coming on multiple discs and yes, there have been a few Xbox 360 games this generation that had separate data install and play discs. So, I’m clearly not seeing the problem here about a ONE TIME disc change. Of course, if you got conned into buying that lower priced 360 with the measly 4GB HDD and you’ve not yet gotten around to buying an external drive yet, you may want to hop to that before the game ships out. Go on now, shoo!

Oh, by the way: don’t get mad at Sony for thinking ahead on the Blu-Ray thing at all. Blame Microsoft for diving into HD-DVD feet first and then ditching the format (even for games!) when it failed to catch on with anyone but early adopters and those who weren’t going to buy a PS3 or other new movie player because they had no intentions of re-purchasing chunks of their collections. Oh, by the way… that game in the photos that’s NOT looking like GTA V? That’s PHANTASM for the Japanese Sega Saturn. It’s a port of the 1995 Sierra On-Line PC game Phantasmagoria and as you can see,came on EIGHT discs (one more than the PC version). You can get it on gog.com (it’s on sale for half price for the next day or so!) if you’d like to try it out. It’s flawed, but well made and a bit creepy where it counts. Anyway,let me get my grumpy old ass back into the 21st century before my lumbago pills wear off…

The Walking Dead: 400 Days Trailer: Creeping Up On You Faster Than You Thought…

Posted on July 2, 2013 by geelw

…as in “BOO!” it’s on PSN (and PC and Xbox Live) right now (and at ONLY five bucks, it’s a MUST buy) waiting to lurch onto that PS3 or Vita as soon as you snap up a copy and download it. The caught me and a few other folks off guard because we thought Telltale might be saving this one up for a late summer or even fall release, but yes indeed, it’s out now and that’s awesome. Especially for me as a big Vita user (as the Vita needs all the great games it can get and although short, this one’s definitely in that Game of the Year territory based on all I’ve been reading). I guess now it’s all about finding something to cower under while playing that’s not going to roast me alive in this summer heat. Well, I guess I could play at night when it’s cooler.. but then I’d be looking over my shoulder every five seconds for any sudden movements…eeek. Eh, we’ll see, I guess… Off to find a coin to flip and decide what to do (it’s too hot to think straight today!)…