Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut Random Screenshot of the Day: Road Rules (1)!

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Today’s screenshot is an all George Woodman affair, but his ticked off stare and words of wisdom in that caption will come in quite handy in the future. Particularly if you happen to be carrying that new plastic badge in your pocket you picked up for the cowboy-playing kid waiting at home to complete his ensemble. Don’t think you can just floor it on the freeway and get home fast, buddy. Get pulled over pulling a stunt like that and Sheriff Junior will have to bail you out using that money from his piggy bank. That’s a pretty bad sign when your kid has to bail you out, you know? Especially when he’s dressed like Tom Mix and doesn’t have a badge that would make the cops in the station tip their own hats and smile because it’s in your jacket pocket (which got confiscated and is now sitting in a cardboard box along with your belt and shoelaces).

DPDC PS3 US EFS 2D RealYour parenting skills may be awful, but you may be better at playing video games. One suggestion, since you asked (and want to stay out of jail): Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut, coming exclusively to the PS3 on April 30, 2013, paradoxically expanding on the former Xbox 360 exclusive game with new content such as sharper visuals and better controls. Which, by the way would have helped YOUR driving, mister (or missus, as we know ladies sometimes shop for kid cowboys or cowgirls and  make mistakes on the road home too).

SWERY65_tinyAnyway, if you got REALLY lucky on the way back from that mall, it was most likely kind Officer Swery who pulled you over and let you go with a warning because he figured you’d be playing that game he worked on in his spare time at some point.

That and he’s got a real soft spot for your quirky side…

Deadly Premonition Director’s Cut Random Screenshot of the Day: Exercise!

DPDC PS3 US EFS 2D RealOK, so I’m a bit obsessed with this game but so it goes when it’s so damn bizarre, scary and funny all in one. Rather than run a gallery of what’s on the Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut PR page (because that’s just too easy!), I’m picking one screen per day from the folder and writing something stupid about it just for fun. I’m also writing this post randomly as well, so what I just called “stupid” may end up on another plane entirely (kind of like the game, which is hard to describe, but dips into its own vat of weird when it’s least expected).

Anyway, Francis York Morgan (our hero) and local sheriff with the bad-ass leather hat George Woodman do some bonding with one of the usual questions guys getting to know each other who just so happen to be working together on a particularly gory series of murders ask each other. Hey, anything to break out of the monotony of finding a new corpse, right? Ah, Greenvale – where the coffee’s black and amazing and the murderers very creative in how they display and dispatch their kills.

 

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IMG_2148Did I mention Francis York Morgan has a kind of creepy imaginary friend who he talks to in the game? No? Well, that’s why YOU need to be thinking about playing this one. Back tomorrow with a new screen and oddball commentary. PS3 only, April 30, 2013. Pre-order NOW from GameStop or Amazon if that’s your thing. Tell them SWERY65 (on the right) sent you. No discount if you do, but perhaps someone will think that’s cool on the other end of that Internet line you’re talking on…

Random Art: For Freaks’ Sake, This One’s for The Birds…

 

broken wingAs much of a horror classic as Tod Browning’s 1932 film Freaks is, that bizarre ending has always rankled me a teeny-tiny bit. Spoiler: that bird lady thing at the end was actually more amusing than shocking to me, especially when stacked up to the real life cast and their assorted actual conditions. Anyway, completely on a lark (ha ha) I did this MS Paint sketch last year as an alternate makeup just for fun. Yeah, yeah, this film will (thankfully) NEVER be remade, but if someone want so try it (and thus be stalked by a few people armed with assorted home-made portable torture devices), here you go. Have fun for as long as it lasts, but sleep with one eye open. I actually overheard a conversation about a “remake” idea in a Starbucks a few months back, but it was a bunch of hipster types hoping someone would take advantage of the fact that reality show is now using “freaks” as a happy entertainment option for us “normals” out in tee vee land. Let’s hope this doesn’t take off, I say…

On a side note, I and many other fans keep hoping against hope that someone tracks down the 26 or so minutes of footage that was chopped out by MGM back in 1932 and restores the film to its original glory.

Hey, Hollywood! If You REALLY Want to Remake Something…

weekend at bernie's remake concept posterSteal this stupid idea from this sketch I drew up last year one late night when I couldn’t sleep. In plain English: take a dumb as shit “comedy” only remembered for its one joke premise and make it into a one-shot (and in NO sequels!) scary as hell horror flick about a few people who do in and bury their boss at his home away from home only to have the body go missing (and the body count rise as things get weirder) or do it up as a funky black comedy with some nice gore effects (practical, please). Think The Trouble With Harry meets Night of the Living Dead as shot by Jacques Tourneur and you’ll sort of get the idea… hopefully.

You’re welcome, by the way..

Deadly Premonition: TDC Q & A With SWERY65: Your Burning Q’s Get A’d (Even If You Didn’t Ask Any)…

 

What, you didn’t notice that director Swery65 (or Hidetaka Suehiro in real life) was taking questions about the upcoming PS3 Director’s Cut version of his cult Xbox 360 classic horror.humor hybrid? Shame on you… but it seems that he’s got a Deadly Premonition of his own and has answered what you’d probably ask had you known. This is good. Go watch the man in action (well, as much action as you can get from a Japanese guy sitting on a sofa and fielding silly to smart queries about his game) and then feel free to sit back and smile afterwards if you’re a PS3 owner and in the mood for a funny, frightening and just plain WEIRD game experience.

If You’ve Wanted A Resident Evil 6 x Left 4 Dead, Capcom and Valve Are Quite Obliging…

 

Well, this kind of came out of Nowhereland, but it’s really cool for fans of both franchises as well as those who’ve avoided either for whatever reason. Granted, the biggest issue is this is a PC-only thing for the time being, as L4D is a PC (and Xbox 360 exclusive). Microsoft’s exclusivity headlock on the series aside, I’m still trying to figure out who at Valve thought being joined at the hip to a single console with this zombie-busting masterwork would be a good idea forever and a day, as there are a few million Sony fans who’d LOVE to finally play both games in the award winning co-op and multiplayer-centric series on the PS3/PS4 (and yes, a custom Vita version would sell like gangbusters as well).

 

 

Feh. Perhaps ONE of these days the industry will figure out that more money can be made across multiple platforms if something is done right and all that legal nonsense regarding exclusivity go right out the window with DRM and analysts who over-speculate some game studios right out of business when a game doesn’t meet some ridiculous target even though it moves a few million units…

Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut Site Goes Live: Return To Greenvale (Weirder Version)…

 

DP_hold your breathRising Star Games is getting things (and perhaps a few heads) rolling with the official launch of the Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut website. This PS3 exclusive update to the former Xbox 360 exclusive that polarized fans and reviewers with its all-out bizarre tone, somewhat unpolished visuals and gameplay along with plenty of gore is getting an updated version that tweaks and adds many new elements (such as 3D TV and PlayStation Move support) while retaining the completely twisted plot and lead character.

Fans of scary games and/or David Lynch’s Twin Peaks and some of his other films will see an homage or three in this game, but it’s the general mix of offbeat comedy, horror and interestingly disgusting demises that will hook some new players in. Of course, that’s exactly what director Hidetaka Suehiro (Swery65) wants… so you just HAVE to oblige him, right?

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Random Film of the Week: The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane


video courtesy of Youtuber rynnjacobs.com – Thanks!
 

While it hasn’t got gallons of blood spilling all over the place nor a high body count to rival later and much more exploitative genre flicks, there’s a constant and nicely weird vibe that runs throughout Nicholas Gessner’s 1976 film The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane that makes it one of those slow burning “horror” flicks that lingers in your brain after the credits have rolled. The movie is more of a mystery/suspense hybrid than an actual horror film, but it’s easy to see it falling into that latter classification because of one particularly sudden death and part of one or two other scenes. Then again, it’s also one of those great oddball movies where the people who do die get their just desserts and probably won’t be missed even by the most pacifistic film fan.

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Drunk of the Dead: Zombeer Now Set to Creep Onto PS3 (& YOU Can Be In It… Sort Of)

 

Annnnd, Speaking of nights gone to hell, folks…

zombeerOK, for a while I thought this in development PC and Mac game was a very well-done Internet joke, but it seems to exist and is now also headed to the PS3 soon. Zombeer: Zombies & Beer, a “first-person-survival-horror-comedy-shooter made BY fans of the zombie genre FOR fans of the zombie genre”, according to the press release. Spain’s Moonbite Studios is cranking away on this and it does look pretty wild in a retro sort of way. The developer is also doing something special for Steam Greenlight supporters in creating a hidden Easter Egg scenario (one of many planned for the game) and putting all those names into the game’s extended credit sequence, which they say will be “the looooooooooongest and BIGGEST end titles of history of videogames”. Eeek. I can think of a few games that had insanely long credits (Super Burnout on the Atari Jaguar springs to mind, as do a few RPGs with massive staffing across many studios). Click HERE if you want to be a part of the madness. And absolutely read that Greenlight page, as the game description is hellishly priceless…

A&E’s Bates Motel: Oh, This Could Go All Kinds Of Wrong…

 

But I’ll give it a shot. Maybe. “My hobby is… stuffing things…”  OK, I’m not a huge fan of mucking around with something as classic as the original Psycho and previous attempts at making TV shows based on and around the film have not exactly been must-see entertainment. That said, I thought Psycho II was an interesting black comedy and a fun homage to Hitchcock (his shadow has a cameo in that film that’s easy to miss) and Psycho III was an even weirder flick with a nicely nasty edge. Of course, if this new show is actually good, it still mucks with the canon by pushing things forward a bit time-wise, something I’m not actually happy about. Of course, this will all be “new” to those whippersnappers who’ve yet to experience the first film because they’re somewhat cinema deficient and need a proper introduction to plenty of movies they’d otherwise ignore…