Humor: My Potential Halloween Costume Options (If I Were To Venture Outside That Day)…

Posted on October 15, 2013 by geelw

I don’t go out on Halloween anymore because I’m old, slow, cranky in crowds and shouldn’t eat so much candy. All that and it’s just not safe in this city under certain circumstances. I used to pop out in costume and attend all sorts of activities up until the late 80’s/early 90’s so all those memories (fading or not) suit me fine. That said, thanks to a recent wave of nostalgia hitting me over the head, I’ve decided to at least go to the trouble of picking out potential costume ideas if I was going to hit the Halloween party circuit this year. Both choices are from ancient TV ads I saw too many times growing up and yeah, both outfits are bizarre in their own ways for a number of reasons. Anyway, the first one is cool because I actually never liked Fig Newtons all that much until I saw this ad. Later on, I could blame D.H. Lawrence for making me confused about figs, but that’s another story for another time, *ahem*…

(thanks, BICUSAWriting!)

As for that other costume, hey – who doesn’t like bananas that can draw cartoons? Well, I know a few folks who despise them (well, just the bananas part) and I used to hate them myself for a while. But they’re LOADED with potassium and other good stuff and I need that good stuff to keep breathing. I was thinking of a few other costume options, but I don’t even think anyone would even get a huge box of Calgon strolling down the street other than a few old ladies who’d chase me down and ask for free samples. Or I’d be chased down the street by actual Asians calling me a racist for my stupid cardboard and paint outfit. Who knew nostalgia could be so dangerous to one’s health?

Hmmm… maybe I’ll stay home after all and just watch spooky flicks on TCM all day. Yeah, that’s the ticket…

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Game Teaser: A Bit Early For That Bug in Your Ear, But…

Posted on October 14, 2013 by geelw

I didn’t like the Spider-Man movie reboot at all for too many reasons to list here, but the game was actually pretty decent stuff. Although this teaser for the game based on the upcoming sequel (also set for a 2014 release) isn’t showing anything at all on the actual gameplay front (it’s still in production just like the film), I’m gathering the dev team is planning to stick to what works well as opposed to going too far out on a limb to be “innovative”. Granted, there’s only so much you can do in a super-hero themed game (even one set in an open world NYC), so I’d say the best way to enjoy this one (as well as the new film) is to go in with no expectations whatsoever and come away surprised when you do get hit with something more fun than you thought. Of course, given the cast of villains in that movie sequel, I’m not expecting much anyway, har har…

Hercules: The Legend Begins Trailer: From Spartan Beginnings…

Posted on October 14, 2013 by geelw

So, Renny Harlin is finally back in the director’s seat on a big-budget film… but doing what looks like a mash-up of 300 and every other film or TV show that was “influenced” by Zack Snyder’s comic-book inspired mini-epic. *Sigh.* Sure, it’s a hell of a lot better than seeing Lou Ferrigno punch a bear into space (and turn it into Ursa Major!) or listening to some of that wretched dialog from those old 60’s Hercules flicks (To wit: “She’s in MY house now, Hercules, and I’m going to celebrate… by GOING THERE!”). On the other hand, if this film is as by the numbers as it looks, I’ll settle for a complete series DVD of that ancient The Mighty Hercules cartoon from the 60’s. Hey, a little Johnny Nash goes a loooooong way. Probably way past Ursa Major at least…

The Hobbit: The Desplation of Smaug TV Spot 3: This One Better Not Be Draggin’…

Posted on October 14, 2013 by geelw

Okay, so I finally caught The Hobbit on HBO when it premiered on Saturday and yes, I fell asleep about 25 minutes in. That was bad, however I did wake up about 25 or so minutes later and sat through the rest of the film, save for a quick break to boil some water for tea. Granted, I was a bit sick and a little bit tired from the cold that was knocking me around, but still… the film did drag-on a bit (yeah, that’s supposed to be a pun). I liked it overall, but after that blazing opening sequence it took a while to get going again then between jokes it’s pretty much a non-interactive CG movie that winds its way up, down and all around to that ending where you just so happen to look at your watch and realize as Smaug’s eye opens and the credits roll that you’ll need to come back to that theater to see what happens thanks to that big dragon not quite revealing himself. I’m gathering this sequel will have TOO much of Smaug for some tastes… but in my opinion there’s no such thing as too much of any dragon (unless it’s that damn purple dinosaur Barney trying to pretend he’s one)…

Random Film of the Week(end), Too: Horror Castle

Posted on October 13, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, sleazeorama!)

Given that it’s been released with no fewer than three titles (The Virgin of Nuremberg and Castle of Terror are the other two), it’s not surprise that I didn’t get to see this Italian horror flick until it popped up on TCM a few days ago. Of course, if I wasn’t up and half dying from the scratchy throat that mutated into the cold I’m now getting over, I’d have missed this frightening little import gem. Sure, it’s got a score that sounds a bit out of place, some odd dialog (although I’m not sure if this a translation issue) and yes, plenty of cliché gone wild moments that would sink a lesser effort. Nevertheless, the overall gloomy atmosphere and great color photography, a great extended cameo by Christopher Lee (misspelled as Cristopher Lee in the credits) and a pretty damn excellent scene involving rats, a cage and a young woman’s face make this one worth tracking down…

Continue reading →

Random Film of the Week(end): MARTIN

Posted on October 13, 2013 by geelw

(thanks albademorti!)

I think I like MARTIN the best out of all George Romero’s films because despite its age it still holds up one of the best modern takes on the vampire genre (even though the titular character only thinks he’s one) and is about as uncompromising as it gets from beginning to end.

It’s also an extremely hard to watch film if you’re squeamish about a few things like needles, fresh razor blades and blood, but everything clicks on multiple levels and there’s a powerful payoff at the end that offers up a bit of slyly amusing social commentary common to Romero’s work. If all you know about vampires is that tween sparkly Twilight crap or even the used to be interesting before it went into fairy fantasy crazyland True Blood, this one will stake a claim in your brain as soon as you meet the titular character doing his version of the bloodsucking thing he needs to slake his thirst…
Continue reading →

Yeah, I’m Back (With Some Bigger Fish to Fry)…

Posted on October 13, 2013 by geelw

So, that nasty sore throat that was making my life miserable is pretty much dead in the water thanks to a few limes, some honey, hot water and a good knife. Peel and cut up 2 limes into bite size pieces, place them into a bowl, pour some honey on them and eat up. Yum! Well, it’s not supposed to be dessert, but that angry kitten with be gone from that throat. make some hot tea with what’s left and drink that if necessary. All I have now is this sneezing and a bit of stuffy nose action to deal with. I think tomorrow is a federal holiday anyway, so my fastest wi-fi spot may be shut down anyway, but I wanted to kick this stupid cold in the groin a few times so I’m all fresh and fancy for a few meetings coming up this week. Die, germs! I got your shutdown right here, POW!

Annnnnd speaking of shutdowns, Continue reading →

Saturn 3 Blu-Ray/DVD Bound: Heckling Hector and Company For Their Less Than Stellar Work…

Posted on October 13, 2013 by geelw

OK, I didn’t think it was possible, but it looks as if someone is actually putting the wretched mess Saturn 3 out on Blu-Ray. The otherwise great director Stanley Donen’s flawed folly of a feeble flick is headed out to retail on December 3, 2013 from the fine folks at Shout Factory.

This big budget sci-fi/horror non-epic non masterpiece (it’s not even a “so bad it’s good” experience) completely wastes the talents of all involved and is a total mess from start to finish. Thankfully, it looks as if the disc’s handful of bonus features just may save this one from being the “WTF did you get me this crap for?” movie of the year. Trust me, there’s not one redeemable quality about the theatrical version, but I know some movie fans find elements of this junk heap intriguing enough to want to go back and watch this a few too many times.

Continue reading →

Saturday’s Sick (For All The Wrong Reasons)…

Status

Ha. I’m not even downtown at Flu Central Station (aka New York Comic-Con 2013) and I’m feeling like someone’s scraping my throat with sandpaper wrapped in barbed wire. Yuk. It’s the damned library here with its wheezing teens, old people and kids and man, whatever I got socked with is fast moving and nasty. Bleh. Thankfully, I’ve some Throat Coat tea at home, enough limes to open a fruit stand and a fresh jar of honey. I may have to break out my chicken soup making skills for this one, but I’ll need to defrost that bird taking up space in the freezer and get to work cooking it for the carcass. Anyway, updates will be slow this weekend just so I’m alive for a few meetings next week I’ve already scheduled. I need to be careful with my health these days, as my current insurance plan goes something like this:

(thanks, frankpilarski!)

Did I mention I despise being sick (especially when it’s not my fault)? Eh, welcome to the human race, I suppose. I don’t even want to KNOW what my fellow writer types are going to be dealing with after NYCC is over. Usually, you’re hoarse, have tired legs and feet, maybe a few paper cuts and if you imbibed from one of those public fountains at the event, that combined with whatever bad food you’ve eaten will get you into solitary confinement in the comfort of your own bathroom for a wee bit too long. OK, that’s a bit of TMI for some of you out there, but I’m just telling it like it is…

NYCC 2013: IDW’s 2014 Lineup: Kirby, Steranko, Gibbons. Your Wallet’s Gone (And They’re Not Done Yet)…

Posted on October 12, 2013 by geelw

Every time I get a press release from IDW Comics, I fear opening it just because I just KNOW that it’s going to be for one of their spectacular new classic comic collections and I’ll want to add it to my already too long want list. Nevertheless, I forge ahead, click and drool away, knowing I can’t afford any of them, but hoping I’ll actually get to get my grubby paws on a copy someone I know buys when they see it here on the site. Anyway, the company’s 2014 lineup is rolling out in the form of a few press releases (below the jump), so ogle those covers above for as long as you like and then pawn off a kidney (preferably not yours). These books will be in the usual limited run actual art size editions IDW is well known for. OK, put on your reading shoes – you’ve got some press releases to pore over!

Continue reading →