Machete Kills… Some Time (If You’re Up To Another Trip to Camp Value)…

Posted on October 11, 2013 by geelw

Welp, I knew this wasn’t going to be Gone With The Wind (unless you count how long it lasts in theaters, ha, ha), but it’s here, ready and more than willing to take some dollars from your wallet and beat you senseless with its non-stop Rodriguez-ness. I guess I’ll see this like I did the original Machete – on cable, and surprised that I didn’t know it was premiering so soon. Amusingly enough, I had a weird dream about Sofia Loren and Sofia Vergara standing next to each other on a subway giving each other the once over and I woke up laughing because by the same point in their careers, Loren had done the sexpot thing as well as more mature acting work and had multiple awards and international acclaim. Sofia needs to step it up, methinks… although you big fans of her body of work (Ah. Ha. Ha.) will probably disagree. On the other hand, Danny Trejo looks like he fell down a mountain on is face a few too many thousand feet, but that mug has brought him fame, fortune and a variety of roles that has cemented him a place in the hearts of many. Er, sort of. Given that he dies a lot in the stuff he makes, it’s finally good to see him playing a somewhat invincible dude you don’t want to mess with!

Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut PC: The More Things Stay The Strange…

Posted on October 11, 2013 by geelw

You’d think that after playing and reviewing this game a few times on the Xbox 360 and PS3 plus spending well over a month creating daily random screenshot posts about the updated Director’s Cut and a few more on the upcoming PC version soon to pop up on Steam would mean I’m tired of Deadly Premonition. But nope, I still love this weird, funny and compelling horror adventure, warts and all. If you’re a big fan as well you can clearly see above that the game isn’t going to look much different than the console versions, but I’m betting the higher resolution and what should be a more solid frame rate on a decent PC will help smooth out a few issues some had with the other versions. The game also packs in Steam Achievements and Trading Cards plus a bit of extra content at no additional cost and yes, there’s already a page up on the Steam Store where you can keep abreast of the launch date (which is Halloween, of course) and other gory details. Naturally, all that FK in the coffee I’m drinking is keeping me up with a haunted look on my mug much like FBI Special Agent Francis York Morgan, but hey – he’s got skills I could use on a daily basis…

Random Films: Two From France I Can’t Watch…

Posted on October 11, 2013 by geelw

OK, some stuff from the vaults with a goofy story behind them. My late dad gave me a box of VHS tapes around 15 or 20 years back and these two were ones that I couldn’t play on my NTSC tape player (they’re both SEACAM format). I recall telling him this later when he called to ask if I liked the movies and he said he’d “get back to me” later on this. I knew what that meant, so I told him he didn’t have to go looking for a player here at all because even if he DID find one, I’d still need a TV that could play it. If you ever knew my dad long enough, you’d know he had a sort of single-minded pursuit of the great deal mindset to him that was fascinating and slightly pesky once in a while when he’d end up with multiples of some items if you’d simply asked for one. I had to stop him from looking for a VCR and TV on that occasion because I knew he’d somehow find both in his travels and I really didn’t want him to spend that money just so I could watch two movies, one of which I’d already seen…

Continue reading →

Lars Von Trier’s NYMPH()MANIAC: Five Hour Erections Guaranteed, No Pills Required.

Posted on October 10, 2013 by geelw

“Side effects may include…”

Soooo, Lars Von Treir’s new film is called Nymph()maniac (or, Nymphomaniac for those of you who don’t get the spelling or the obvious imagery from that simple teaser poster to the left. Two films. Five hours. Lots of sex. Not for kids (unless you want those freshly traumatized kids who want to strangle you in your sleep for taking them to a Lars Von Trier film). Coming in explicit and non-explicit versions. Probably won’t make its cost back in theaters, but on home video where folks can see it in private. Guaranteed to be controversial on certain “news” channels. And so forth and so on. I was going to run some of the many posters of the cast in solo poses, but they’re probably a bit too NSFW for some tastes. That said, you can check them out (and yes, download them if you like. You KNOW you want to) on the official movie site (they’re HUGE) and go mark your calendar or whatever it is you do when a Von Trier film comes out. Let’s see now… I wonder how many discs these two flick will get when it does get released on Blu-Ray? And if it’ll come in a plain brown wrapper (ha, ha).

Expect half-full theaters on uncomfortable people giggling nervously and looking at the walls or ceiling in spots and the usual fearless hipsters bringing their dates when this one reaches theaters. Well, it hits Europe on Christmas Day 2013 (which is pretty amazing if you think about it), but there’s no North American release date just yet. Hmmmm… I wonder what the US ads and TV commercials will look like once the Puritans get to them?

Now Playing: F1 2013

Posted on October 10, 2013 by geelw

While some reviews of F1 2013 I’ve glanced at are calling a few of the changes “incremental” from last year’s installment, I’d say they’re missing a few points with that criticism such as the game not needing the bells and whistles other less “serious” racers provide and the fact that the formula (pun intended) as presented works as a perfect learning tool for novices. Granted, the game is NOT a 100% perfect “simulation” at all (although playing on the highest setting with all the aids off offers up plenty of unforgiving moments of “Oh yeah, I’m SO not an F1 driver!” as you spin out or wreck into a wall or other cars), but a fantastic recreation/representation of F1 that allows anyone with patience and practice to take home some wins and see what the sport is all about.

That said, beating Vettel here was a big “YES!” moment, as he’s a total machine on the F1 circuit in real life, making watching this season pretty boring because you pretty much know who’s coming in first. Also, I do LOVE that Classic Mode to the point that I wish Codemasters would have added MORE cars and tracks. I’d eat a tire for that six-wheel Tyrell, the Fan Car, some classics from the dangerous 60’s and so forth and so on. Hell, Grand Prix Legends isn’t coming to consoles any time soon, so I may as well be one of those bugging the Codies to get cracking on making my aged gamer brain and hands happier, right? Yes, there an actual review incoming – stay tuned.

A Little Remider From AMC: Sundays Are For Zombie Lovers…

Posted on October 10, 2013 by geelw

And not those of you who lounge around the house in your jammies chilling in front of football games until your arteries lock up. The Walking Dead is back for a fourth season and this one looks to be even more grin than previous ones. That’s a refresher on what happened last season below in case you’ve forgotten already. I don’t know about you, but after that Breaking Bad finale, Sundays have been DEAD in terms of good TV. OK, well, there are a few things I do watch, but yeah… Ol’ Walt is definitely missed!

More Carrie? OK, Double Jeopardy With A “Telekinetic” Twist!

Posted on October 10, 2013 by geelw

One clip, a quick TV spot and that dopey prank pulled here in NYC on some unsuspecting citizens strolling into a coffee shop. Of course, in that latter gag, my brain saw the holes in this one right off the bat. If that’s a neighborhood place that’s been open a while, wouldn’t any regulars NOTICE that new wall there or be miffed that their favorite spot was replaced by a wall. Okay, maybe the place was shut for construction with a sign on the door or whatever. Also, a few of those people look as if they were bought in by the studio to act surprised at the action. Granted, most look genuinely shocked, but in this damn city, SOMEONE would have called the cops even on the first scare.

Yeah, I’d have been that ONE guy standing there at the cashier laughing and looking for wires on that guy and wall while still trying to get my damn coffee with a hearty “Hey crazy lady! take that shoving tables crap down the block to McDonalds!” Hell, I’d have even offered her a nice, tasty plain aspirin (I keep a bottle in my bag at all times). Yeah, I’m VERY hard to market anything to. I just like what I like and try to get you do like it as well…

Carrie opens nationwide (except the theater where I live that’s closed. Stupid theater!) on October 18, 2013.

Random Art: What’s Old Is Still Old. The Post Is New, Though…

Posted on October 9, 2013 by geelw

More digging through the vaults, folks. Yup, it’s kind of awful, but back in 1984 I was still learning (well, teaching myself how to work a brush and dip pen around in some India ink. I kind of wish I had a time machine, as there’s a load of artwork that I did back then that’s no longer around and a nice chunk was pretty solid from what I recall responses on it being back then. Of course, I’d be time traveling with a baseball bat to get the people who stole a bunch of my work in school and a few other places (well, only if I could vanish into the present and get away clean. Hey, thieves deserve no less than a knock to the head, I say!)… or at least make them BUY the stuff they stole, grrrr…

Anyway, blah and blah, blah. Maybe I’ll post more stuff from the vaults one of these days. I’m kind of swamped at the moment with actual work. This is just some filler because I’m having an off day…

Happy Birthday, Retro City Rampage (Yes, This Means A Nice SALE)!

Posted on October 9, 2013 by geelw

OK, where’s my CAKE? You can’t have a par-tay without cake and screw that Portal nonsense about the cake being a lie. I’ve got over 40 birthdays that say otherwise, grrrr! Anyway, yes, Brian Provinciano’s awesome mash-up of pure 2D bliss, Retro City Rampage, is a whole year old today and to celebrate, you get that video above and a BIG sale below. OK, not below… just click HERE, have that wallet (and a smile) ready and you’re all good to go. And if you already own the game, good! Get it for someone else or even yourself if you pre-ordered the PC version and happen to own a PS3 or Vita. Whee! Can you tell I just LOVE sales. And cake. WHERE’S MY CAAAAAAKE! Seriously, I have none here and really want a slice. And some ice cream. And a cuppa coffee. And a pony…

Escape From Tomorrow Trailer: Disney Probably Wants To Hold A Little Necktie Party…

Posted on October 9, 2013 by geelw

Wow. If this is as incredibly insane as it looks (and it looks like a David Lynch film gone haywire), I may just have a film of the year candidate to go see in a few days. Randy Moore’s guerrilla-shot first film most likely has Disney seething for any number of reasons, but we’ll see where that goes on the legal front, as the House of Mouse tends to be VERY protective of their image and imagery. Well, not anywhere near ME, as that last movie theater is STILL shut and I have NO clue as to what’s going on. Granted, I could just VOD it, but that’s too expensive for me and nope, I can’t watch it on the iDevices I have in the house, as none are connected and I’m not giving Apple any more of my information.

Hmmm… as this looks like a really bad (and bad-ass) nightmare, I can always try to replicate it by smacking myself with a rubber mallet in the head after taking four ZzzQuil, but I’m sure that will be the last thing I remember doing before waking up at the morgue. Ah well. I guess I’ll have to hols out for a DVD or Blu-Ray release. I was going to say I’d watch this on IFC or Sundance Channel, but they’ve been RUINING their channels with commercials just like regular and some cable TV networks. Boo. I’m hard to market stuff to, so ads never grab me unless they’re terminally stupid or pushing some stuff I already plan on buying.