Retro City Rampage REALLY Goes Retro: 486 – MS-DOS / Windows 3.1 Version Now Available


 

Vblank Entertainment’s head honcho Brian Provinciano is a truly mad genius in the best possible way. His single-minded obsession with his hilarious “retro” game Retro City Rampage has led to it being released on PC, Mac, Linux, PlayStation 4, PlayStation 3, PS Vita, Xbox 360, Wii, Wii U, and Nintendo 3DS over a few short years. Now, he’s gone and reprogrammed the instant classic and has gotten the game onto a 3.5″ floppy disk for 486 computers along with a Windows 3.1 prototype as a free bonus. If you still have an old PC lying around with a floppy drive, you can (and should indeed) snap up one of the limited edition boxed versions (there were only 1000 total made) and prepare for a nostalgic trip down memory lane with a game that probably wouldn’t have existed back then and if it did, it would be hailed as a fine slice of comic genius or something like that.

Retro City Rampage 486
 

If you happen to own the more modern PC version of the game already and bought it from the developer directly, guess what? You should probably check your Steam account for a nice freebie surprise. Everyone else, run or click like the wind HERE and hope for the best. Like the PS4 and Vita retail editions, this will probably sell out ridiculously fast. Yes, the game will also run on DOSBOX if you have a newer PC. I almost forgot to mention this, so now you don’t need to hit up eBay looking for some aged system to run RCR 486 on.

UPGRADE GET! Retro City Rampage DX Out Now For Nintendo 3DS

 
Assuming you don’t own a Nintendo 3DS XL yet, here’s the one game that demands that larger screen real estate. Retro City Rampage DX is out now in the US via the eShop (2/20 in Europe) and adds a few fun things you’ll see in that video above (or at the game’s official site) Although it looks fine on the standard model, the extra size does make a huge difference. I’ve played this game on PC, PS3 and Vita (and it’s also out on WiiWare and Xbox LIVE Arcade), but it looks as if I’ll be diving in once more at some point just to get a few more nostalgic chuckles going. But not for a while, though. I’m doing the headless chicken thing at Toy Fair soon and am in the midst of poking through my inbox and setting up meetings. I need a secretary/helper monkey/game organizing librarian or something.

Ah well – I’m off to a late start today thanks to the stupid storm this morning. Back in a bit with more once I get out of the house…

MUSIC! Retro City Rampage Soundtrack Will Rock Your Ears To Bits…

virt, Freaky DNA and Norrin Radd - Retro City Rampage Soundtrack - coverYeah. You NEED this download NOW. Your gamer side will squeeze you hard and your music side will grin as its head bops up and down to these pleasing bloops and bleeps from the not terrible at all trio of virt (Jake Kaufman), Freaky DNA (Leonard J. Paul) and Norrin Radd (Michael Creamer). 35 tracks, available on Bandcamp as a digital download or CD. That very limited edition 23-track Vinyl LP (Holy K-Tel, Batman!) is all sold out online (booo!). But I’ll bet you a nickel if you poke around your nearest or farthest hipster record shoppe that still does mail order (or is within traveling distance), you MAY be able to score a platter for not a king’s ransom. Unless Prince buys that last copy… then it’s going to cost you more…

Happy Birthday, Retro City Rampage (Yes, This Means A Nice SALE)!

OK, where’s my CAKE? You can’t have a par-tay without cake and screw that Portal nonsense about the cake being a lie. I’ve got over 40 birthdays that say otherwise, grrrr! Anyway, yes, Brian Provinciano’s awesome mash-up of pure 2D bliss, Retro City Rampage, is a whole year old today and to celebrate, you get that video above and a BIG sale below. OK, not below… just click HERE, have that wallet (and a smile) ready and you’re all good to go. And if you already own the game, good! Get it for someone else or even yourself if you pre-ordered the PC version and happen to own a PS3 or Vita. Whee! Can you tell I just LOVE sales. And cake. WHERE’S MY CAAAAAAKE! Seriously, I have none here and really want a slice. And some ice cream. And a cuppa coffee. And a pony…

Retro City Rampage Is Five Bucks on Steam. You Know What That Means, Right?

RCR_STEAM_Player

Yeah, it means that’s a sale that won’t last forever and yes, you should drop EVERYTHING (well, except whatever you’re reading this post on, as that’s a bit dumb to have your phone/tablet/laptop/home PC/converted UNIVAC you picked up for two bucks on eBay {with free shipping? What a deal!} fall to the ground and break) and BUY THIS GAME. Seriously, If you like to laugh and love retro games, you’ll probably die laughing with a controller in your hands. If you hate to laugh but like retro games, you’ll crack a smile after far too long out of practice and probably scare your cat or dog or the neighbors in the process. Usually, the only thing you see at 67% off are day-old donuts and dented cans at the supermarket, but Retro City Rampage gives you ZERO chance of food poisoning or too many cat-scented old ladies beating you in the head with their canes to get to that tin of tuna surprise (yum-o!).

Besides, you look like you could use a good bargain today as I know you spent too much on those new shoes and are feeling a bit guilty about it…

Retro City Rampage on PC and WiiWare Is Full of Surprises (Well, One More Awesome Surprise)…

Not content with a simple port of an already hilarious game, creator Brian Provinciano decided to take it to the next level (or more precisely, back to the roots) by cooking up an “8-bit” version of the game for the WiiWare and PC releases (out now!). Even if you’re terminally rusty at games, if you’ve a brain with a dusty old file cabinet filled with memories of 80’s and 90’s pop culture references, Retro City Rampage is fun and funny enough to get you cracking up within a few seconds of playing it. Anyway, some neck exercises for you to practice, as you look a bit tired and you don’t want to have to pay for that Lifestyle Lift (at least for a few MORE years,right?): Look up and click! Look down and click! Repeat as required until you figure out you need a Wii or PC to get the game (or a PS3, Vita or Xbox 360)…

Retro City Rampage WiiWare Trailer: Old School Shows New School How it’s Done (Again)…

 

Vblank Entertainment’s laugh ’til you drop almost all-out action hybrid game, Retro City Rampage is finally Nintendo bound and it’s about time. Fans of the company’s classic NES console will be getting all misty-eyed and confusing this with all of the games it merrily references while their kids will be wondering why Mommy or Daddy is hogging the controller and locking them in their room. It’s not like they don’t make enough money to buy their own Wii or Wii U, right? Ah well – kids, just be extra nice to Mom and Dad – they’ve just never forgiven Grandma for tossing their games in the trash when they went off to college, that’s all. Anyway, get this on WiiWare tomorrow and get ready to play until you drop.

Retro City Rampage Was Actually Even Funnier As a Work in Progress…

 

As awesome and non-stop hilarious as Retro City Rampage is, the game was looking even more amusing in its pre-alpha stages. I’m thinking Brian Provinciano chopped some of this stuff down because anyone he got to test the game at that early stage was dropping dead from laughing too much. There are rules against killing off your testers even if they’re happy with what they’re playing. Anyway, you should grab this if you haven’t. I’m just wondering what the heck sort of follow-up Vblank Entertainment has planned. I don’t think we’ll see a sequel, but it wouldn’t shock me at all what with all the in-jokes and homages that made it into RCR. Hey, with game older some companies vaporizing into the ether and being broken up into little IP bits, it’s nice to see game creators keeping the true retro spirit alive and in fine form…

Review: Retro City Rampage

Platform: PS3/PS Vita

Developer: VBlank Entertainment, Inc.

Publisher: VBlank Entertainment, Inc.

# of Players: 1

ESRB Rating: T (Teen)

Official Site

Score: A+ (100%)

Ironically, one of the best games of the year is a completely retro throwback that would have been one of the best 8-bit games ever made had it been slapped into a cartridge. But it’s not even available on any physical media at all – it’s a download-only game that’s currently a PC and PSN exclusive (that’s also coming to other console platforms soon enough). If you’re well versed in classic gaming and plenty of 80’s and 90’s pop culture history, Retro City Rampage will be one of the best gifts you can give yourself or someone else who’s going to appreciate the megaton count of in-jokes, references and completely off the wall humor the game delivers. The first five minutes will have you hooked, but the amazing thing about RCR is how much it crams into each cut scene and the resulting gameplay chaos that often ensues from the act of merely trying to progress in the often hilarious story mode.

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Retro City Rampage: Buy This Game Or It Will Come To Your House And Beat You…

  

Yeah, you know who you are. Laugh at these awesome visuals at your own peril, kids. Listen up: I’m old, so I KNOW exactly what’s going to happen here. Codgers like me will groove on the sprite-heavy, colors a’poppin graphics, tough as nails gameplay and huge open world that means we’ll be hooked in for weeks. Ironic hipster types (bless their bespectacled hearts) who think they’re cooler than they are in real life will remember the indie games they played over the past few years and get the retro vibe full on. Meanwhile, the wee ones under a certain age who think every damn game MUST be a FPS or packing “realistic” 3D graphics that require a PC upgrade every three weeks or new console or whatever will be laughing and pointing like the fools they are until they pick up a controller and get a butt cheek handed back to them by some random digital thug. It’s all about respect, as I keep saying… and Canadian developer Vblank Entertainment is going to learn you whippersnappers a thing or two. 

Your PS3 is starving for this one, and so is your Vita… so yeah, do the right thing and get this game, Before it gets YOU.