PAX East 2013: DuckTales Gets The Crowd Going (Therefore, You Must Go As Well)…

Posted on March 27, 2013 by geelw

Yeah, you watched the show as a kid (or a drunken college teenager or early pre-hipster doofus) and yeah, you played the NES game to death. So now you need to show your love or else the game’s upcoming remake will be trapped in development HELL. Not really. I just wanted to see you all singing along to the DuckTales theme song. Corny as hell, but C-l-a-s-s-i-c cartoon stuff from the 80’s!

OK, shut up and sing along. You sing, an angel gets a new kidney or something like that. And a puppy.

YOU SING! NOW!!

Life is like a hurricane…
Here in Duckburg.

Race cars, Laser, Aeroplanes
It’s a… duck blur.

Might solve a mystery
Or rewrite history…

DUCKTALES
Woo-oo!

Everyday they’re out there making:

DUCKTALES
Woo-oo!

D-D-D-Danger moves behind you
There’s a stranger out to find you
What to do? Just grab on to some:

DUCKTALES
Woo-oo!

Tales of derring-do
Bad and good luck tales (Woo-oo!)

Not ponytails
Or cotton tails, no:

DUCKTALES
Woo-oo!

DUCKTALES
Woo-oo!

Now there, don’t you feel a LOT better?

You’re welcome.

The Great Gatsby TV Spots: It May Be Good, But Throw The Book At It, I Say…

Posted on March 27, 2013 by geelw

Eh, do we REALLY need this flashy-looking new version of the classic book at all? Baz Luhrmann’s at it again? Oh, well then – that changes everything. My brain is still recovering from Moulin Rouge, though. I’m more of a classic musical and film guy, despite all the efforts to make these new movies look and sound “vintage.” Well, there’s NO doubt this sure looks amazing and will rake in the loot for a while. That said, sure, it’ll rope in the rubes who flock to theaters on those lonely weekends looking for some solace in the virtual arms of superstar hunky type actors (and who don’t know a penny’s worth of the plot) and those dragged-along spouses who trade in “Date Night” deals. That said, I think F. Scott Fitzgerald’s angry ghost would be rolling up yellowed, crumbling newspapers from the era or filling dirty socks with stones so he could do a day’s worth of REALLY old school drive-bys on those expensive movie sets.

OK, it might be really good, but my eyebrow is still up on this one. Well, as long as it’s not “Based on a True Story” or “Inspired By Actual Events…” Those films almost always stink under closer scrutiny…

COBRA COMMAND WANTS YOU (To See G.I. Joe Retaliation)…

Posted on March 27, 2013 by geelw

COBRA_SF OK, listen up you potential evil-doers! I had to go through HELL to post this video (OK, it wasn’t hell, but I sat on my keys when I came back from the bathroom, so that counts as a kind of hell), so make sure you WATCH it and pay attention. If you THINK you have what it takes to be some sort of modern hooded menace and you can use all sorts of deadly fake weapons and not kill yourself in the process, go sign up HERE and wait for your coded message. Given that Cobra Command usually sends these out attached to assorted explosives, sharp objects and yes, actual cobras, recruitment is at an all time low. Thankfully, this new G.I. Joe Retaliation film seems to be better at luring in new membership. As for my own affiliations? Well, now… that WOULD be telling. I may be a double agent for all I know (and I know I don’t know much). Stay tuned. Prizes (or at least one prize) will be given out soon enough to someone out there.

Making of Defiance: Tarrs vs McCawleys (Or: Meanwhile, Back @ The Space Ranch)…

Posted on March 27, 2013 by geelw

Saddle up, pardners and get ready to hit the trail! (or something like that). OK, so syfy’s upcoming show/video game extravaganza DEFIANCE has that whole space western thing going for it, but this is actually a good thing at the end of the day. It should get the show some appeal to those sci-fi fans who prefer their shows a bit tumbleweedy and familiar and cranky old goats like me who have the occasional Bonanza or original Battlestar Galactica flashback (or Battlestar Ponderosa, if I recall what Harlan Ellison rightly called the show back in the day).

Snark aside, I really like what they’ve done with the show so far and will give it a season to do its thing on the parts of my brain that click with the genre. Hopefully, the show and game will do well in this still stupid economy and current ratings format that see shows get axed if viewership only dips a TINY amount after the usually highly watched pilot episode. That’s a stupidly expensive way to do business, particularly with fickle audiences that often come BACK to a show later on in the first season to catch up. As always, we shall see…

Watch_Dogs: Threat Monitoring Report: Beware The Launch Day Stampede.

Posted on March 27, 2013 by geelw

I’m one of those people dying to play this upcoming soon to be classic… but I’m smartly also NOT following every single thing written about it all around the Internet because that’s the fast road to mental hell. A million “what if” posts and too much over-speculation ALWAYS leads to disappointment or over/underblown expectations and other dopiness that can derail an otherwise excellent game experience. I’ve just been ignoring everything until I hear the game is PLAYABLE and coming to NYC on a press tour where I can wrap my grubby paws around a controller to see what’s what and let YOU know about it. Of course, that all revolves around someone at Ubisoft’s PR team actually contacting me (which hasn’t happened for a while, ha ha – maybe they’re watching ME to see what I do?), but as always, we shall see. Hey, I’m a nice enough guy and don’t bite unless you ask politely (*Woof!*)…

Divinity: Original Sin Goes the Kickstarter Route (And You Should, Too!)

Posted on March 27, 2013 by geelw

DIV II ART

DIV_II_WIP NO, no – don’t go and post a Kickstarter for your beer collection or shoe fetish, silly! Go support Larian Studios and THEIR Kickstarter in their push to trick out their upcoming RPG in some really cool ways. The game is coming along really well as you’ll see – the team is offering up the chance to add fan-created content and some cool bonuses into the mix for those of you with some extra disposable income lying around. Personally, I want to see this or some other Divine Divinity-themed game make it to consoles (again, as Divinity II was outstanding on the Xbox 360, but could have used a PS3 port so more could play it). Anyway, poke around that link above and if you like what you see and hear (that video is quite helpful if you turn the audio up), well… drop a few dimes on this one, tell a few friends, sit back and wait for that inbox to ring when the game’s all done. This one looks as if it’ll be well worth the wait…

DARK: Realmforge’s Cel-Shaded Vampire RPG Looks Quite Intriguing…

Posted on March 27, 2013 by geelw

Hmmm… it’s too bad this is Xbox 360 and PC-only at this point, as I can see Sony fans wanting in on this. DARK is coming to you from the fine folks at Realmforge Game Development Studio and based on this trailer alone, looks like a game worth more than watching. Of course, I’ll have to end up with this on a disc for the home PC or download on the laptop, as both my 360’s here are DEAD and not even a bite from a vampire, zombie or zombified vampire console repairman could bring them back to life, grrrr.

Anyway, I’m really liking the Deus Ex meets Syndicate meets Thief meets Vampire: The Masquerade vibe I’m getting here. Yeah, it’s not from a AAA developer or publisher (but these days, that’s more of a big blessing than a fatal curse), but if the controls are solid and the story memorable, it’s most certainly got all the makings of a sleeper hit. Or one that’s got a life of its own and is as hard to put down as a “real” vampire would be to a blind guy wearing sunglasses at night armed with a box of melting Popsicles. We’ll keep an eyeball peeled on this and let you know…

Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut Random Screenshot of the Day: Sleeping on the Job…

Posted on March 27, 2013 by geelw

In general, people in the U.S. just don’t get enough sleep. Whether it’s due to overwork, too much TV/computer time or doing too many things at night other than sleeping, it’s a national epidemic that can be the root cause of a few bigger problems. As you can see above, York stepping in to Greenvale’s police station SHOULD have that guy at the desk alert and facing the opposite direction. But he didn’t get enough sleep last night and doesn’t drink that strong coffee the A&G Diner sells at all so he’s a bit lax in his attitude. Before you ask, they don’t sell that multi-hour energy drink crap in town because it’s been banned (it makes hooded killers do their job a wee bit too efficiently, I’ve heard). Anyway, if York were a hooded killer, this poor sap would be on the floor with his face missing within a few seconds. But he’s only a detective on the prowl, so Officer Sleepy here will just get a damn good scare (and maybe wet his pants a little) and maybe a stern talking to he won’t soon forget.

Of course, you’ll probably be joining him soon enough if you’ve pre-ordered or plan to pick up Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut, coming exclusively to the PlayStation 3 on April 30, 2013. Those updated HD visuals, quirky humor, PlayStation Move and 3D TV support, new content, Trophies and more will keep you up so late (and yes, half-scared out of your wits) that you’ll need to call in dead to work the next day. Or show up and pay the consequences. Just don’t be that one guy who doesn’t get enough rest and pops in to work at the VERY moment that heavy bottle of water in the water cooler needs changing. You ever drop one of those things on your foot in front of that cute secretary you’ve been secretly ogling? It’s not a good thing when that happens, folks.

I haven’t had the chance to ask him yet, but I’d bet a whole dollar that Game Director Swery65 (arriving a bit tired-looking at GDC 2013) has NEVER had an embarrassing incident like this happen to him. Of course, he’s seemingly always on a plane headed somewhere or working on something you’ll probably want to be playing at some point in the future, but I’ll have to remember not to forget to ask him about this one of these days…

Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain Trailer: FOX on the Run (And It’s Looking Mighty Fine)…

Posted on March 27, 2013 by geelw

MGSV_PP Oh, brother. Raise those hands now… WHO didn’t know that this was going to be a new Metal Gear Solid game? Or that Hideo Kojima and his team weren’t going to (once again) push visuals to the edge in a console game. I can still remember that feeling I had when watching that first long form Metal Gear Solid trailer, a non-playable masterpiece from a Spring Special Demo Disc back in er, 1997 or ’98 and every MGS game since has dome something meaningful with its proprietary graphics engine. This new MGS V trailer, however, basically yanks you right into its world (which is open and non-linear this time out) from the moment Snake is on that operating table through some pretty outstanding dramatic sequences… Continue reading →

DIRECTV’s Game of Thrones: The King’s Roadmap – Your Post-Game Activities Get A New Addition…

Posted on March 27, 2013 by geelw

DirectTV_Westeros OK, usually I avoid tie-ins like this like the Black Death, but this is a really cool thing to check out. An interactive map of Westeros from the fine folks at DIRECTV where you can see locations and brief episode notes from previous seasons that gets updated as Season 3 progresses? Nice. I’m betting that there will be a few people who can’t even read a REAL roadmap turning into GoT experts within a few weeks.Or maybe even make the switch to the service over your current cable provider. Granted, you don’t HAVE to make that move in order to use this map at all (that would be a really sneaky ploy straight out of the House Lannister playbook), but this will most likely be a stop some fans will make on a weekly basis (which is always good for traffic).

Of course, the next time you’re out on the real road getting REALLY lost and the person in the seat next to you is making with the ribbing and riding, you can pretend you’re REALLY in the show and toss them out the nearest window. Er, just make sure to stop the car first, as trying to do this while driving is a bit tricky – that stuff only happens in the movies! Better yet, STOP the car, get out, walk on over to their door, politely open it and then ASK them to leave. Preferably in front of their home or a nice fast-food joint where they can thumb a ride home from a friendly trucker with nothing better to do. Hmmm. I wonder if Carmelo Anthony drives his own car?