If you try to stop my much-deserved sleep
you’ll soon hear a certain stylized “beep”
That’s just me, a-hammering on your hard head
half-awake, swinging ’til we both see red.

The talented jerks working at Nanda Home
Have cooked up two bad clocks that happen to roam.
As soon as the time you’ve set rolls on around
Those stupid smart tickers, they leap to the ground!

They roll away, wailing their horrific chimes
And chase them you must for committing their crimes
You’d better be fast at running half awaken
As smashing into walls can have bones a-breakin’

And as you’re there lying and writhing in pain
Both Clocky and Tocky roll past your bruised brain
still chirping and screeching ’til you’re off your ass
and after them once more, your foot on the gas

If you’d like to add torture to your morning routine
or give someone the gift of a busted spleen
Stock up on these demons from Nanda’s factory
But don’t you go pointing that tired finger at me!

Evil, I say. EVIL!. Clocky is $45, Tocky (and it’s even MORE evil feature that allows you to record voice or MP3 files so you can crash into walls while listening to yourself, someone else and/or your favorite music getting you out of bed in a frenzy)? That’s $58. Hey, it’s YOUR money, so I can’t tell you how to spend it. So if you want to buy one, three or a whole room full of these things and/or give a nasty gift to a friend, the kids, the significant other or anyone else (and be hated for a month or so), knock yourself out. Of course, if you get one for yourself, you probably will once or twice before you get used to it…