BRÜTAL LEGEND, I Have Not Forsaken Thee!

Posted on August 27, 2009 by geelw

Thanks for asking, really… but nope, I absolutely have not been ignoring my man Tim Schaefer, Double Fine Productions or BRÜTAL LEGEND, their Rocktober “surprise” that’s taken the game world by storm this year (cue:“Lightning Strikes Again,”Thor). I’m just sitting here cracking up on a near-daily basis at how all of a sudden everyone has finally discovered just what a group of fantastically talented creative geen-yusses he and his crew are.

I mean, I and many other editor types around the frickin’ world trumpeted the joys of the eternally awesome, amazingly funny platformer Psychonauts* until we turned blue in the head and beyond (cue: “Among the Living,” Anthrax). Nevertheless, did enough of you so-called “hard-core” guys and gals actually BUY the game and justify all the well deserved ink we spilled? Nope (cue: “Backstabber” by Hytz).

*That, and the man’s tenure over at LucasArts cleeeeeeeeearly shows he’s got more than enough proof of Legendary Status (no certificate required). So There.

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Phantom EFX + PAX = Darkest of Days Free For All

Posted on August 26, 2009 by geelw

Phantom EFX is bringing its upcoming Xbox 360 and PC time-traveling FPS, Darkest of Days to this year’s Penny Arcade Expo (PAX), which is being held from September 4-6, 2009. The single-player story driven shooter, which is looking pretty darn cool, features the debut of 8monkey Labs’ Marmoset game engine, which can display massive battles with hundreds of active AI participants, destructible environments and in the PC version, full NVDIA PhysX support. Go try the PC demo out, if you don’t believe me – it’s pretty smokin’…

The company’s CEO, Aaron Schurman and some of the 8monkey Labs dev team will be there (Booth #878, by the way) with demo stations for both versions and plan to trick their booth out “like a giant bunker, complete with sand bags and a REAL, FULL SIZED CANNON.” Eek – Destroy All Fanboys, indeed. To add to that bit of visual punch, expect to see booth beefcake dressed up as soldiers from the game’s different time periods all available for some photo op action. There will also be plenty of giveaways such as Darkest of Days T-shirts, posters, mouse pads, NVIDIA graphics cards and even a chance to win full retail box copies of the game once it ships.

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Megan Fox Will Kindly Beat Your Ass Over Xbox LIVE This Saturday…

Posted on August 26, 2009 by geelw

No doubt some of you have already had that dream many times before: You’re setting up a match over Xbox LIVE when you see a really familiar name pop up as a gamertag… “Could it really be HER?” you think and yes, it turns out is IS. Now’s your chance, man – make your move! After the usual awkward introductions, the fun really starts.

You get your game face on (grrrrrr!) and after taunting each other for a few minutes, you’re both finally ready for some real action. Megan makes a mean comment about your lack of skills with possible pointed references to your family pet, a jar of Nutella and an electric kitchen device. “Oh yeah… well, bring it!” you yell into your headset. And Megan, sitting in the air-cooled comfort of wherever she is will no doubt be shaking her fist at the screen before she yells back into her headset: “It’s BROUGHT !! POW!!!”

Then, you wake up and realize you’ll never, ever, EVER get to game with Megan Fox. Your life pretty much sucks… until today, that is…

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Gallery: The Saboteur

Posted on August 25, 2009 by geelw

Did you ever find yourself walking home from a meeting, take a wrong turn down a dark alleyway (well, there WAS that ‘Detour’ sign with an arrow pointing right, so I detoured) and next thing you know, you wake up a short time later in a rumpled heap with a folder of screenshots in your hand and a hastily scrawled note that says: “éditez ces images, svp – des mercis, Devlin.” taped to your forehead?

No? Well, that happened to moi last night. I find out later that had I merely taken a left turn then three blocks to the subway and gone straight home, I could have picked up the same screens from one of EA’s helpfully handy PR folks and NOT get bonked on the head. Damn.

Need to find out who this “Devlin” guy is soon and give him the what-for, grrrrr…

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Marker Man Adventures Looks to Draw In Gamers at Retail

Posted on August 25, 2009 by geelw

One of the cooler portable games I’ve been keeping an eyeball on this year has finally made its way to retail. Majesco’s latest Nintendo DS game, Marker Man Adventures, developed by Glyphic Entertainment, is now in stores at a more than reasonable $19.99. Now don’t go confusing this up as some sort of quickie, slapped together Scribblenauts cash-in, folks. The game is a pretty nifty physics-based platformer/puzzle game, as you’ll see in the bit of the press release below the jump… Continue reading →

Batman: Arkham Asylum Drops Into Stores

Posted on August 25, 2009 by geelw

Of course… some of you lucky folks reading this have it already, thanks to a few game shops slipping copies into your hot little hands this past weekend. While I was being creeped out by the frightening brilliance of Cursed Mountain, baffled by the board gaminess of Hurry Up Hedgehog! (review coming shortly) and going through a few other titles, YOU were being the Caped Crusader, that Dark Knight Detecting and Dishing out Deadly Damage against Denizens of that Dank, Disturbing Domicile known as Arkham. Yeah, I grew up watching that campy Batman TV show, so sue me. Continue reading →

Gallery: Dementium II

Posted on August 24, 2009 by geelw

The fine folks down at Austin, Texas-based Renegade Kid are at it again. The award-winning developer of two of the best technical achievements (and fantastic game experiences, by the way) for the Nintendo DS, Dementium: The Ward and MOON are set to scare your pants (and possibly whatever else you’re wearing) off yet again with Dementium II, set for a 2010 release through publisher Southpeak Games. This small team of talented guys really knows how to get the DS hardware to do just what they want and based on these early screens, DII could be their best work yet…

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Cursed Mountain Arrives Early. I’m Four Hours In….

Posted on August 22, 2009 by geelw

… and I couldn’t be more pleased, although it seems that the kids who want exploding zombie heads every three seconds may be a bit annoyed by the intentionally languid pacing. And the fact that there are NO zombies in the game, only really annoyed ghosts and more pissed off demonic things (that can still kill as quickly, mind you). The game layers on the gloomy mood right away and the overall sense of dread combined with the brilliant score makes for some nicely creepy moments. The game’s general atmosphere has the feeling of the last depressing section of Robert Altman’s McCabe & Mrs. Miller crossed with a dash of Masaki Kobayashi’s classic K(w)aidan and the lonelier moments of Kubrick’s The Shining. Hopefully, that will help some of you reading this in terms of placing the game’s tone.

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Gallery: Wet

Posted on August 21, 2009 by geelw

PARTIAL TELEPHONE TRANSCRIPT: ONE WAY, TRACED
DATE: FRIDAY, 8/21/2009
TIME: 5:42:38 AM EST
DIALED FROM: REDACTED
DIALED TO: REDACTED
————————————————-

(phone rings)
(phone rings)
(phone rings)

Hello?

No Rubi, I didn’t forget about you… it’s just been a bit busy here – one man operation and all that. Yes, dear… no, put down the gun. No, please don’t shoot up the phone like last time – I couldn’t hear right for a week. Thank you, Rubi…

What was that… there’s some static going on, what? … Yes, I’ll run those WET screenshots now.

Right, right… I know Bethesda is publishing the game and the team at A2M (also known as Artificial Mind & Movement) are developing it.

Yes, uh-huh… September 15, 2009 is the release date.

Yesssssss,I also remembered your birthday, Rubi. No, i’m not telling you what I got you… it’s a surprise. No it’s not a new knife… you “left” the last one I gave you in someone’s head, remember?

Anyway, you want me to run that press release on the blog as well? “Just the good parts?” OK. Uh-huh, right. I gotta go now – don’t want to keep a lady waiting, right?

No no! I was talking about you! Rubi, wait, don’t shoo…(*click*)

DISCONNECTED
END CONVERSATION
DATE: FRIDAY, 8/21/2009
TIME: 5:44:01 AM EST
LOGGED BY: REDACTED
————————————————————————————————-
Women – can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em, right?. Well, at least she didn’t shoot the phone this time. Now let’s see if I can do this right: Continue reading →

Astro Boy Game Taps Kristen Bell For Voice Cast

Posted on August 21, 2009 by geelw

Never have friends over when you’re trying to work. As I was typing the original version of the above headline, I hear a loud voice from behind me “ASTRO BOY TAPS KRISTEN BELL…?!!” then a big hearty horse laugh. Let’s just say someone got a big boot to the ass and ended up on the other side of my front door. Besides, eleven games arrived between this morning and afternoon, so I’ve a LOT of work to do. *Ahem* – now where was I? Oh yeah: Astro Boy game news…