You could be some poor guard in or under Garuda Compound in Valhalla Knights 3. These poor saps never get a break at all, as you can see in these screens. Hell, no matter what day of the week it is, they’re going down hard and fast if your party is properly leveled and you’re in no mood to be trifled with.
Ouch. But wait, there’s more… Continue reading
As a closet game historian and collector, every time I see Capcom’s 『deep down』, I shed a tiny tear because this amazing-looking in progress PS4 exclusive is going to be online ONLY, and lose a lot of potential sales from people like me who prefer the option to play offline and enjoy all that hard work without worrying about the usual crap ALL online games suffer from. Once interest wanes down the road or worse, sales don’t impress the shareholders (which shouldn’t determine ANYTHING, I say), those servers will slowly shut down and that game you paid good money for as a keeper becomes a bunch of beautiful and USELESS data that fades from memory.
This sort of thing is pure nonsense, I say. Game making shouldn’t consist of developers working in mist settled on a bathroom mirror or making paintings with clouds thinking they’ll still be around for all to see in the future. I’m hoping Capcom wises up and gets this one playable offline at some point (as with its incredible Dragon’s Dogma), because it’s looking so gorgeous that I want MORE people to experience it and not a select few hundred thousand or more with the proper and perfect setups. Art should have SOME permanence, specifically if it’s interactive and made to be enjoyed with others as a mandate.
According to some sources I refuse to acknowledge because it just might happen, it looks as if there’s a female version of The Expendables in the works. Ugh, for a few reasons you’ll see if you read those links. Sure, it’s a fun idea and SURE, it’ll get ladies working in an action flick as something other than screaming eye candy or victims, but that current synopsis is awful, that fake poster tagline is WORSE and I can’t see this being anything that’s going anywhere but straight to Blu-Ray/DVD unless some of these potential cast members have a hand and foot in the rewrite room.
On the other hand, this IS a Hollywood project, so I can expect the casting to be a nightmare if this goes through, the shooting to be pure hell and the final product to be on par with the rest of this series, which is awful but campy fun as long as it’s not taken seriously. I guess the ONLY great thing here is no one is talking weekly TV series yet on either Expendables project. I’d have to head to California with a folding baseball bat in my suitcase if that ever happened…
The Drakengard series isn’t exactly known for it’s spectacular presentation or stories that make a whole lot of sense (multiple endings aside), but there’s something compelling about them that’s given the first two games a fairly loyal fan base. With original developer Cavia dissolved into the ashes of history, Access Games (Deadly Premonition) steps up to the plate for this prequel to the first game that, while not visually outstanding, offers up plenty of quirky charm and what looks like a slightly lighter tone than previous entries. Then again, one pee joke and some annoying voice acting on some of the characters aside (the game needs a dual language option), I think this one’s got the makings of a sleeper hit provided it gets enough love from Square Enix on the promotion front. As usual, we’ll see. May 20th is a few months away, so there’s enough time for the company to make more noise about this one…
Yeah, this film is going to be a disaster of an epic scale, but yeah, people will go see it because it’s got a hunk in the lead and it’s basically Titanic but no one gets out alive. Um, hopefully. I have the feeling that somehow, someone will make it out alive. Hey, think like a Hollywood writer looking to make the best of any tragedy: history says everyone died there, but what happens if there were people who were just out of range of the doomed city who saw it all go down? Yuck. Anyway, my Friday blew. I got nothing done thanks to some SLOOOW as hell wi-fi. How slow? Even though the connections was “Excellent” (so sayeth my computer via pop-up message as I glare at that stupid little box and want to strangle it), I was stuck at the startling and less than adequate speed of 11.0 kbps, BOO. Anyway, tomorrow is another day, I guess. I need to fly out of here early to mail off a big box of books, so I’ll be trying to get in some updates and posts as soon as possible, as there’s a LOT going on in my inbox.
PlayStation Plus is continuing to be the best deal in gaming these days save for the whole “pay to play online” thing, which makes less sense as time goes on. That said, the amount of free games you get each month for signing up at $50 a year is NUTS. How nuts? Well, it’s clear that Sony wants the PS4, PS3 and Vita to be the ONLY systems you touch, as that library of gratis games per month is enough to keep the hardcore player busy and the casual player wondering when the hell they’ll find time to play all those games that pop up on the first of the month automatically. Heck, even if you didn’t buy a single game from retail or PSN, you’re getting more than enough titles to keep you occupied. as long as you keep that account, you keep every free game you’ve gotten, which isn’t a bad deal at all. Sony will be rolling out more surprises this year, so it will be interesting to see if PS Plus stays a great deal or if that fee goes up a bit over time. I don’t think it will, but I do wonder how they turn a profit by giving away the store to a few million happy users a dozen times a year…
Although I’ve completed Valhalla Knights 3 a little while back, I ended up snapping a bunch of screenshots for no other reason that I can use them for random posts like this. Anyway, guys (and some of you ladies out there), here’s more of Tina laying it down for you. She sounds as if she’s got a good head on her shoulders, right? Then again, I guess you can trust a half-dressed weapon shop clerk only so much…
(Thanks, MovieTrailerGrave!)
I saw The Black Hole on the first day it was released and was pretty darn disappointed because I felt Disney blew an opportunity to make a more cerebral sci-fi film along the lines of a Forbidden Planet or a 2001: A Space Odyssey in favor of what was more or less a hobbled remake of 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea with dashes of Star Wars, Moby Dick, and a few other bits borrowed from other classic and not so classic books and movies. It’s clearly NOT a “family film” despite the sci-fi/western shoot ’em up moments and two stupid trash can robots with big cartoon eyes that can’t be ignored as to how stupid they look mixed in with the more serious elements.
Thanks to the film not knowing which way to go tonally (and sorry, those robots never mesh with the dark mood and doom-filled dialog), what you have is an often grand looking, intentionally gloom-draped but sloppy sci-fi pastiche that’s too scary for the little kids those dopey robots were made for and too full of decent ideas better executed decades earlier to be a “great” movie. Not counting the awful “science” on display (it gets a pass from me because no one should go to a sci-fi flick expecting actual science!) I’d call it “adequate” at best. That said, there’s a niggling buzz in the back of my head that’s never left even after repeated re-viewings as recent as a few months ago. Then again, I was 17 when I first saw this and thanks to a tired ticket seller and a few early showings had already been exposed to Ridley Scott’s still brilliant ALIEN two years earlier, so my wider-eyed and more innocent eight-year old self was long buried by that point…
So, I had to take a little detour on the way back from an event today, but it was a helpfully educational one. There’s a newly remodeled McDonald’s across the street from the library and while I don’t eat fast food on a regular basis (perhaps three or four times a year and that’s pushing it), I don’t mind a cup of inexpensive coffee for a buck if I happen to require one and don’t want to deal with the scent of Starbucks all over my clothes and body. Seriously, spend twenty minutes sitting in one and you’ll smell like Juan Valdez’ serape and saddle after a hard day in the fields gathering beans. Anyway, I had to use the bathroom there really quickly and fortunately, the redone McD’s restrooms have been redone to a more modern style. Unfortunately, someone forgot to tell corporate that ONE stall and One urinal (and one sink) in the otherwise spacious men’s room means you’ll still have a restroom that at most only two can use at a time. Three if someone actually decides to wash their hands before eating.
Which is kind of very stupid, considering the place seats a heck of a lot MORE than that… Continue reading
OUCH! Look, Hollywood. As much as I like strong female characters in my movies, this is a wee bit much. Or at least the trailers are numbing past the point of a good shot of painocaine. I can see the recipe now: One part Caged, One part Fight Club, add a jigger of Prisoner: Cell Block H, a slice of SAW and some of that special Corman spicy stuff from the baggie in that old coffee can and it’s BEWM! a knuckle and booby sammich you better treat right (and take your time with) OR ELSE. Eh, I dunno. Not to be (even more) sexist or anything, but I just don’t like women getting the crap kicked out of each other even if it’s by other women. Don’t you all get enough of that rough stuff from men in these sorts of films? Granted, I’m not a MMA of UFC fan at all these days and nope, I don’t even like it when men beat the crap out of each of other unless it’s in a stupid action movie where I know that the violence isn’t real and usually, the guys getting beat down deserve that knee to the head that sends them off a balcony fifteen floors to land on their heads.
Comin
On the other fist, I do love me some stupidly wild grindhouse films from across the spectrum from flat out funny to morally questionable by today’s standards. But I take those outrageous flicks in stride and not at all seriously because most are flat out hilarious under all their fake blood and gore. That said, I’m intrigued and may catch this when it pops up on cable at some point. I may not like all of what I see (the story BETTER be worth all that gal on gal violence), but I won’t be gleefully rubbing my mitts together like some people who see this and think waaaay too sexy thoughts about all that brutality being “hot” because women are getting beaten to death. Okay, ladies. Weigh in if you like. Um, that wasn’t a pun, by the way. Heh. Don’t hit me! I’m fragile! Ow! *Flinch*
"DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!" 