Humor: Oh, I Have Bad Dreams Every Now and Then…

Posted on September 22, 2013 by geelw

Well, “bad” being relative. OK, it had Twiki from that awful as hell Buck Rogers in the 25th Century show from the 80’s (and by “awful”, I mean I watched it every freakin’ week hoping to hell it would get better). I stuck around for the effects and hated the acting, cheap costumes and most of all that cross between R2-D2 and Tattoo from Fantasy Island, Twiki. Despite (or because) of the late Mel Blanc voicing the robot as if he was a Borscht Belt Looney Tunes character, that tacky as hell gold paint job and the fact that for some reason, he got a love interest (what, there was an affirmative action program for little people on TV shows back then?). Anyway, I guess it wasn’t that bad a dream as I didn’t drop dead in my sleep…

That only happens if I dream of Jason of Star Command:

(thanks, AgentX35!)

Yaaaaaaah!!!

Humor? So, Microsoft Says NOT To Stand That Xbox One On Its Side… Or Else.

Posted on September 20, 2013 by geelw

Given that the current model Xbox 360 can indeed be placed upright (although it can lead to disc scratching if the surface it’s placed on isn’t perfectly level and subject to being bumped into while playing a game or watching a DVD), it’s a given that some owners of the upcoming Xbox One will be looking to do the same with Microsoft’s new system.

However, according to this GameSpot UK article, a company representative says vertical orientation isn’t how the new console was designed. Of course, there will be a ton of hard-headed or space in that entertainment center challenged gamers who won’t follow the company’s “suggestions” at all or try out that standing position just once to “see if it works”, and you can never stop those folks from doing what they do.

On the other hand, I personally feel that there’s another, far sinister reason they don’t want you to stand that thing up… especially if you happen to do so and place that new, improved Kinect on the now top part of the system and power the thing on. To wit (actual test footage stolen from a Microsoft test facility):

(thanks, Donald Carten!)

Remember, you’ve been warned!

The Last Days on Mars Trailer: Venus Envy

Posted on September 18, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, movieclipsTRAILERS!)

I bet these doomed astronauts WISHED they were on Venus or somewhere else safer and less genre-fied, as even this upcoming flick’s title seems to note that there won’t be many (or ANY) survivors when all is said and done. Of course, rocking an Alien vibe is either a good sign or some trailer-esque editing that makes this LOOK like a bit of a too close to the bone reworking. But as usual, we shall see. Although I always laugh nowadays when I hear those “stingers” used in movie trailers on the soundtrack. It’s like whatever has invaded the ship is wearing a portable keyboard and is playing that sound effect as it stalks around the ship. SURVIVAL TIP: Stay in the nearest closet with a blunt object, and when the monster walks up or by and hits that note, slam that door open and give it the what for with your hammer or whatever. Roll credits.

If You Have to See NINE Doctors, It’s Serious… Or You’re a WHO Fan…

Posted on September 16, 2013 by geelw

Well, we’re almost to that new Doctor reveal and number nine is for many modern fans, where the real fun begins. I’ve actually NOT seen any of the ninth Doc’s adventures thanks to me being occupied with other stuff during those years, but I did catch a few episode snippets of Torchwood and hoped to hell that show would get on disc along with the Ninth Doc’s shows so I could watch them all together and see how things fit. I’ll get to that soon enough, but I want to catch this latest BBC special and the episode they run just to whet the appetite a wee bit. One of these days I’ll do the binge-watching thing with a few seasons of the show just to get it set into the gray matter. I’d make it a party, but my TARDIS has room just for me and a stack of discs. It’s a HUGE stack of discs and my TARDIS is closet sized and constantly malfunctioning. It doesn’t go anywhere, but keeps coughing up stuff from the past I’ve never seen before (or don’t recall buying, ha, ha)…

Gravity TV Spot 3: Getting Closer… But Still Far Away….

Posted on September 16, 2013 by geelw

I’m still debating with myself if this fantastic-looking flick is worth dropping $30 on to see in IMAX and 3D and I’m leaning towards a “not quite” simply because I’m a legendary cheapskate (who tips well at restaurants, mind you) that would rather spend that cash on a game or Blu-Ray/DVD I can watch endlessly. I guess I should use something else to help me decide other than that two-headed coin I got from a magic shop ages ago, but the loaded dice, “miracle” card deck and cracked Magic 8-Ball here (that’s keeps reading “Reply Hazy, Please Try Again” over and over) all aren’t helping me make up my mind. Hmmm… perhaps a windfall I can spend and not feel guilty about will be the big decider. Yeah, I’ll go walk around with a big bucket and see what the wide drops in it… back at some point with a financial report of sorts…

Gravity TV Spot 2: Science For Dummies (As A Tease, At Least)…

Posted on September 11, 2013 by geelw

If you aced that science class in school, you’re probably a little upset that right after the words NO SOUND appear in both the Gravity trailers and TV ads, there is indeed SOUND IN SPAAAAAAACE! there in the form of a big BOOM! and the noise of stuff rattling about. Welp, kids… that’s just wrong, but it’s been confirmed that there is indeed NO sound in the final film. Yes, the trailers and other ads are made for people who need that aural bump to get those thrills. That is all. Go see this – it looks phenomenal.

A Little Doctor Who Primer For the New Folks…

Posted on September 8, 2013 by geelw

Someone sent me this image a few days back but didn’t tell me where it came from but fortunately, some digging reveals it’s from this site packed full of memes and such. I didn’t poke around there at all, as it looks like a serious time trap, a black hole of clock eating madness that will suck you in and make your productivity disappear faster than a roll of quarters going into a slot machine in Vegas. Although… the last time I was in Vegas (Classic Gaming Expo 2007 I think), I think I only spent ten bucks gambling and won seven or eight back. I wanted to throw more money away, but I held out because I needed that cash to blow on a few games for the library. But I digress (as usual). Hopefully that cheat sheet above gets some of you not into the good Doctor to start tracking down episodes to watch before that new Doc makes his appearance. Just don’t try and watch TOO many episodes in one shot. You’ll either hear that main theme in your sleep or the sound of that TARDIS parking brake grinding away burrowing into your skull…

The Eighth Doctor Returns For Another One Night Stand…

Posted on August 18, 2013 by geelw

Sure, some of the more negative longtime fans of the show didn’t care for this one-shot TV movie that popped up on TV in 1999 with a new Doctor (played by Paul McGann) for the first time since the show was canceled ten years earlier, an American setting, main villain played by Eric Roberts (!) and a plot considered “lacking” by a few of those aforementioned followers of the series. On the other hand, the Doctor was BACK and like it or not, number eight is part of the long history of the character. Of course, as he only appeared in that ONE reboot, it’s going to be shown right after the special. Check it out if you’ve never seen it – it’s not bad for what it is, and hey – it also helped a little bit in getting the Doctor back on TV as a regular show, right?

Shout Factory Zaps Out Another “B”-Flick Sci-Fi Bundle…

Posted on August 16, 2013 by geelw

Nice. At a measly $6.95, these four sci-fi “classics” of assorted quality (mostly of the “so bad they’re awesome” variety) work out to a no-brainer “BUY ME!” price of $1.75 each, which is a BARGAIN if you love old cheese and don’t mind falling off your couch or chair in a heap a few times.

Of this new set of four, Reptilicus is pretty darn amazing as it fails on so many levels (to a jaw-dropping extreme, in fact) but makes for a surprising great visitor’s guide to Denmark’s nightlife (you’ll see). And of course, The Brain That Wouldn’t Die is completely mind-blowing in many ways for what it brings to the table. See it and you’ll get my stupid puns in that last sentence. I’ll make sure I’m out of town when you come to chase after me with a blunt object. The other two are also pretty awesome in that bad way, but it’s been a few years since I’ve seen either (which means I just may have to get this disc at some point)…

I actually didn’t know this the the second entry in this series of MGM non-masterpieces (calling them “classics” is a bit of a stretch that makes me smile and almost feel sorry for someone who grabs these thinking they’ve discovered solid gold in the trash heap). The first disc’s a doozy as well, but EVERYONE who considers himself a sci-fi or “B” movie fanatic needs to have seen Angry Red Planet and The Man From Planet X at least once before they flee this mortal coil.The again, if these are your bucket list flicks… you’ve either seen way too many movies or just not enough. Consider taking long walks (at least five miles a day) and drinking a gallon of prune juice a week. You’ll live longer than your buddies laughing at you for liking such lousy films.

“Why so serious?” You ask? Well, you might actually drop dead after seeing these flicks if you go in thinking they’re “great” and your brain rage quits on you, but hey, what’s life without a little risk, I say? Don’t choke on that popcorn either, stay away from diet soda and watch out for the cat when you plop down on the couch (it’s hiding under that big pillow again, me-ow!)…

Random Film of the Week: Kiss Me Deadly (1955)

Posted on August 9, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, criterioncollection!)

If you’ve never seen this Robert Aldrich-produced and directed film noir masterpiece, drop what you’re doing (well, unless you’re operating heavy machinery or in the middle of something where dropping anything will cause a major or minor disaster) and go look this one up. You’re guaranteed to say something like “What the…” at least two or three (or a dozen) times while watching this one, trust me. Mike Hammer is supposed to be a hard as nails private eye, but in this flick, he spends about a quarter of the film either getting chased, beaten up, shot at and otherwise maimed by assorted people who want him out of the picture he’s supposed to be starring in.

Deviating quite dramatically from the Mickey Spillane novel, this one’s a blazing hot mix of a downward spiral into a particularly dark hell for private eye Mike Hammer (masterfully played by Ralph Meeker), who has so many brushes with death here that the film ends up having a nasty comic edge thanks to the level of violence on display. No one here escapes unscathed, as everyone either wants Hammer dead or disabled (or both) and the few people on his side tend to drop like flies or come pretty close to it. The film also offers up a big twist at the end that turns it into a sort of wild sci-fi flick, but I won’t spoil that surprise other than to say it’s a big reason the film is so insanely brilliant…

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