It’s PONG’s Birthday Today! What Did You Get It?

Posted on November 29, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, pongmuseum!)
What do you mean you FORGOT? Well, good thing for you it’s Black Friday, huh? Yeah, you just got back in from 12 hours of spending too much money you don’t have, but I say you need to get your leftover turkey eating behind BACK outside and work off some more calories before you’re tempted by the fridge to open it up and dive into that cold stuffing (again!). What should you buy PONG? Oh, use your imagination, people. Just don’t go writing any songs, now. That’s already been done and done so well that it’s the final word on this irrefutable classic. Eh, you’ll figure something out – just stay away from linens and towels as a gift choice, as they tend to be marked up during this time of year just to lure you into thinking you’re getting a good deal with that $2 coffeemaker and $50 TV you bought earlier…

Mr. Peabody & Sherman Turkey Day Poster Stuffed Full Of Self-Fulfilling Prophecy…

Posted on November 27, 2013 by geelw

Yeah, I’d be canning whomever thought up this poster like a bunch of cranberries, as my cartoon nostalgia sense tells me that this one will be dead on arrival after the first weekend at best. This turkey is planning to gobble up box office dollars while neglecting the fact that the original shorts worked perfectly because they clocked in at about five minutes and weren’t padded out with needless stuff that’s only going to appeal to folks who’ve never seen an episode of the Bullwinkle cartoons they came from. Ah well… I guess I should just shut the heck up and surrender, huh?

FINE. But not without a fight:

(thanks, bullwinklecanada!)

When I saw the trailer for the new CG flick the first time, I didn’t laugh at all, and seeing it again recently made me more annoyed than ever. But whatever, right? It’ll be “fun” for the kids that don’t care at all about history and nostalgia, that’s for sure. On the other hand… when the adults in the theater are groaning at the end like the ones behind me who hadn’t seen the trailer until then, I’m gathering Dreamworks will be wishing for their very own time machine so they can go back and erase this project from their books. Yuk.

That’s Right. Popeye Was A “Time Lord” Before The Good Doctor!

Posted on November 25, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, cartunes1000!)

And he had a kind of cooler and stranger time machine, too! Yeah, you learn something new every day, kids. Granted, that’s also what you call “VERY desperately running out of ideas” in Cartoonland speak, so although this episode is hilarious (you HAVE to love how that “time machine” works), it’s clear that Elzie Crisler Segar was spinning in his grave when this 1960 cartoon popped up on the tube wherever he ended up when he passed on in 1934. Anyway, enjoy and yeah… you KNOW you want that Picasso/Dali-esque clock thing in YOUR living room.

I Dream of Tee Vee #2: Speed Racer, Menace to Motorsport!

Posted on November 18, 2013 by geelw

Even as a kid, the opening credits to Speed Racer had me cracking up each time I saw Speed pretty much commit cartoon vehicular homicide on a daily basis when he rammed a fellow driver through a guard rail and sent him sailing off the track and crashing into the background (check out that evidence above). What I didn’t know at that time was that was the US version of the credits and in Japan, Speed was even more of a merry murderer. Granted, the other guys he kills in the original opening sequence below kind of deserve it for shooting at him and his shiny, gadget-packed Mach 5 (do you know how much it costs to replace that fancy curved windshield?). But I’d have simply dialed up the track police or something, pointed my car cam their way and shown what was happening rather that destroy a priceless fossil and kill them outright.

Of course, the body count on that old anime was hilariously large in just about every race to the point that I’m surprised whatever body that sanctioned those events wasn’t sued by next of kin and spectators who may have been “wiped out” in a wreck or by flaming debris flying into the stands. Just Google up “Mammoth Car” and see what I mean. I’d post part of that episode here, but I don’t want you kids up past your bedtimes. It IS a school night, you know…

DVD Review: Here’s Edie – Early 60’s Time Capsule Makes A Mostly Glorious Return To Earth…

Posted on November 13, 2013 by geelw

I had an English teacher in high school who was obsessed with Edie Adams to the point that he actually stopped a fight in class by singing part of a Muriel Cigars commercial that made the two girls fighting stop and stare at him as if he were completely insane. Of course, by then I’d seen some reruns of The Ernie Kovacs Show on PBS and had a whisper of an idea of what he was going on about. However, I also recall bumping into him during a lunch break (he was outside smoking a Muriel Air Tip, of course) and hearing tales of a TV series starring Edie that no one else I asked seemed to have a clue about.

It turns out what I thought was one man’s fantasy life getting a wee bit too real was actually a real TV variety show. MVD Visual is about to unleash Here’s Edie, a 4-disc set of her 21 half-hour specials unseen anywhere since they first aired. After spending some quality time this past weekend with this incredible lady and her talented friends, I can very safely say that fans of classic variety TV will absolutely want this one in their collections… Continue reading →

Super Fighter Team Reissues Two Classic PC Fighters As Free Downloads

Posted on November 9, 2013 by geelw

Super Fighter Team has been quite quietly busy these days, what with Nightmare Busters getting ready to ship out for the Super Nintendo soon (and yes, it’s simultaneously awesome and hilarious in the best possible manner to be typing this in 2013), but there are also some nice surprises you can grab for free that should greatly interest fans of classic 2D arcade fighting games.

Super Fighter Special Edition, a VERY nicely reworked version of the ancient PC fighter and Sango Fighter 2 are up and downloadable now, so if you’re into fighters, LOVE big, colorful animated sprites and wonderful pixel art backgrounds, yup, you’re already clicking away and getting yours I bet. Additionally, you can check out some music from Super Fighter HERE – it’s another pretty cool bonus that will get your ears grinning while you’re waxing nostalgic over either game’s old-school charms…

Ys: Memories of Celceta: The Vita Nets Another RPG Winner From Xseed Games

Posted on November 8, 2013 by geelw

Ha. Just as I’m starting up my Valhalla Knights 3 review (which I’m hoping will be a definitive one as it’s not filled with wrongheaded references to incorrect thought processes gone wild), my inbox is buzzing away and telling me that not only is there DLC for that game I need to download NOW, Xseed is also going to be shipping out Ys: Memories of Celceta for the PlayStation Vita on November 26, 2013.

For the uninitiated, the game is a very heavily reworked/remade retelling of Ys IV (one of the few games in the popular Nihon Falcom RPG series not yet released in English until now) and features an enhanced party battle system from Ys SEVEN, along with the insanity of Boss Rush mode. Are your fingers prepared? They’d most surely better be is all I’ll say…

As usual, this one is getting the triple threat treatment of a physical retail and PlayStation Network digital release for $39.99 as well as a special Ys: Memories of Celceta Silver Anniversary Edition for $59.99. According to the press release, it’s definitely omake time for Ys fans with this one:

This Limited Edition contains a 3-CD collection of original and arranged music spanning the entire history of the franchise, a cloth map detailing the lands of Celceta, a logo-emblazoned compass, and ‘Adol’s Travel Journal’ containing 130 pages of adventuring strategies and artwork, all within an exclusive commemorative package.

Of course, that compass won’t help you navigate the game world on your Vita, but I think you’ll do just fine without it. Besides, you need TWO hands to use your Vita and if you wanted to be distracted by a second screen you’d be playing another system entirely, correct? Now, about Ys V and Ys V EXPERT… I’ll be definitely holding out hope that those get the remake treatment one fine day…

Star Wars: Tiny Death Star: My Brain Just Turned To An 8-Bit Alderaan

Posted on November 7, 2013 by geelw

Oh, don’t get me wrong, people. This new Google Play game IS stupidly super cute and all, and yes indeed, I laughed while watching it. But yeah, the 1977 part of me rolled over and died inside seeing this trailer and realizing that pretty much everything about the original release has now been vaporized and swept under a dirty bantha hide rug. Ah well.

Granted, it was pretty obvious the Star Wars franchise was going to end up parodying and satirizing itself harder than anyone else has in the past, so expect more of the same as Disney looks to monetize every aspect of the series from now on. Business is business after all, the new fans coming in won’t care at all about the original three flicks in their unaltered versions and everyone’s happy that they’re finally seeing more films and merch roll out on a regular basis. Ah well… back to work for me and my soul needs to find that box of ethereal Kleenex so it can go cry in the corner.

Valdis Story: Abyssal City – Your Side-Scrolling 2D Fix of the Week.

Posted on November 6, 2013 by geelw

Frankly speaking, I completely despise the term “Metroidvania”, as it smacks of laziness on the part of people who’ve adopted it to mean ANY side-scrolling platformer with gameplay and/or visuals that are common and familiar to those who might not even like either of those two storied franchises. Granted, it also confuses those who’ve NEVER played either game, as I once heard some kid in a GameStop seriously ask a clerk for a copy of Metroidvania (eek!). But I digress (as usual). Indie developer Endless Fluff has a rather fun-looking game out now for PC called Valdis Story Abyssal City and yes indeed, if you’re a fan of those old 8 and 16-bit classics (yes, such as Castlevania and Metroid) and happen to remember a seemingly now forgotten series called Valis, with a dash of Ys and a few other old games from back in the day, you’ve stopped reading this post already and are on the game’s gog.com page and buying it. And good for you, this is, as the game is on sale for $11.99 ($3 off its original price).

And hey! What do you mean “That’s TOO much!” you big cheapskate? Back in my day, we had to pay fifty bucks or more for a game like this and WALK to the damn game store UPHILL. BOTH WAYS. Darn kids and your “Why can’t everything be free or a dollar, but free first!” mentality. Good hard work deserves to be PAID for, I say. You’ll figure this out once you get to work on something awesome (or not so awesome) and no one wants to pay you for doing anything other than giving you a pat on the head or a hearty hand clasp (and not both because you work for a cheap-ass who thinks “intern” means “SUCKER” in big neon letters). If you don’t support indie games, you’ll be playing and paying through the nose on your phone and not any wiser about that wallet draining scheme…

Annnd While You’re Waiting, Another Free Movie!

Posted on November 3, 2013 by geelw

Yeah, yeah – I’m furiously typing away on some reviews, but I need to take a break for a bit to rest my eyeballs. YOURS, however can get a workout courtesy another *FREE* movie. Let’s go for a sci-fi vibe with something from Japan:

Yes, that’s 1965’s Attack From Space, a Japanese “movie” I believe was cobbled together from episodes of Super Giant (aka Starman in the U.S. of A.) and shown on American TV way back when. I haven’t seen this in decades, but I’m not seeing it now either as I’m too darn busy! So, um… someone out there send out a signal from space and please tell me how this one is. I know from my vague childhood memories that it’s pretty junky and lame, but that can be a ton of fun under the right circumstances. Enjoy!