Iron Man 3 Commercial: Hopefully, Rust WILL Be Sleeping…*

Posted on February 3, 2013 by geelw

I’d actually almost forgotten about Iron Man 3 because of so many other blockbusters (or are they BLOGbusters?) coming this summer, but here you go. I’m still curious about how some of these comic book flicks work and others stumble all over themselves. The first Iron Man was great fun, the second was OK and Both The Mighty Thor and The Avengers were fun to sit through. On the other hand, Ghost Rider? Bleh and double bleh deluxe with extra cheese and don’t get me started on anything related to Daredevil, The Punisher, Fantastic Four and that last Spider-Man flick. DC, you’re not immune at all, as Green Lantern made me green (and not with envy, either), I felt the previous Superman reboot was weird and unnecessary and I still have scars from that Swamp Thing film (even though it had a corny one-liner that made me laugh really loudly in the theater I saw it at). Well, at least there’s a willingness to experiment until it’s gotten right, but that doesn’t mean there’s an audience always willing to drop full price on a ticket to see those films that don’t quite get it right…

*add 5 XP if you got the Neil Young reference…

Random Film of the Week(end): Emperor of the North Pole

Posted on February 2, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, Carl’s Trains & Stuff!)

If you haven’t checked out that video above, don’t let the title fool you one bit – this isn’t a family friendly movie about a bouncy, happy CGI penguin and there’s definitely no red-suited Jolly Saint Nick here to spread happy holiday tidings (but there is a fat guy who throws hammers). Nope, this 1973 film from the late, great Robert Aldrich is simultaneously big, mean, brutal and hilarious, often within a few seconds in some scenes.

Based loosely on a Jack London book and a book partially about Jack London, the film features Lee Marvin and Ernest Borgnine as bitter rivals battling for turf rights in the most absurd of places – a moving freight train. OK, there’s much more to this classic than that, but it pretty much boils town to a prolonged (and excellently shot) fight between two men way past middle age beating the crap out of each other with 2 x 4’s, a chain, thrown hammers and an axe. I guess a cynic would call it Thunderdome on rolling stock, but not as cheesy and much better acted, at that…

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Random Film of the Week: DUNE

Posted on January 30, 2013 by geelw

(Thanks, MovieClips Classic Trailers!)

Recently, someone who hadn’t seen it yet asked me “Is DUNE a great movie or not?” My answer was (and has always been) “Well, it depends…” I certainly didn’t hate it when I first saw it, but having not read the massive sci-fi novel it was based on at that time, my brain had to hold onto the inside of my head for dear life a few times during the more heady moments of mass exposition. I actually liked that David Lynch brought his trademark visual style to the film and some of the ickier visual effects (the alien navigator in the glass case, for example) were there to show this wasn’t yet another budget Star Wars clone.

Granted, the big, loud battle scenes were a big, loud mess and some of the “special” effects were reused too many times (for example, that same enemy ship swooping over the battlefield on Arrakis became a running gag to some friends I saw the flick with). Nevertheless, I liked the production design and facts that the different alien cultures were well portrayed thanks to some solid casting and it was a “pay attention” flick that demanded more of viewers than almost any other American sci-fi film of that period. Of course, it’s no Blade Runner by a long shot, but that’s another post for another random week… Continue reading →

Jack The Giant Slayer TV Spot 2: Land of the CGI Giants Still Leaves Me Chilly…

Posted on January 28, 2013 by geelw

OK, OK, I’m trying hard to give this one a chance and yes, as I noted a while back, it’s definitely better looking that the awful 1962 original that tried to fool viewers with some piss-poor stop motion ( as in: Hey, we can’t get Harryhausen, but those stoopid kids won’t EVEN know! Well, I sure did…) and wooden acting. Well, this certainly will beat that old flick to a pulp on a few fronts, but will it be remembered as much as the original is… or will it vanish into the bargain bin and into cable recycle mode like the remake of Clash of the Titans and its sequel, Wrath of the Titans. I finally saw that this past weekend and was not impressed despite some pretty wild effects work. These “epics” NEED to feel epic, not like almost two hours of loud, big and forgettable. Well, let’s hope Jack is actually something that works on the right parts of the brains of those who go see it. Me, I’ll hold out for the cable premiere…

These “Creatures” Might Be “Beautiful”… But They’ll Never Be “Heavenly…”

Posted on January 26, 2013 by geelw

Now, I know for a fact and a half that I’m not even interested in seeing this upcoming flick (I’m SO not into the tween fantasy stuff, sorry!), but know ye this: I was fooled for a hot minute a few months back and ALMOST thought this was a remake of Peter Jackson’s outstanding (and much more mature) ‘based on a true story’ film that marked the acting debuts of Kate Winslet and Melanie Lynskey and wondered if I was nuts for getting pissed off that someone went and remade it. Fortunately, I watched that trailer and didn’t post a needlessly incorrect rant I’d have to apologize for later, right? How un-Internet of me! Anyway, it looks good (in a whee, pretty people and too much CG sorta way) go see it if you liked the books. Me, maybe I’ll catch it on cable at some point in about, what, eight months or so (a year, tops)? I can wait.

Or as the trailer above is titled… “Let’s get out of here!”

Random Film of the Week(end): The Baby

Posted on January 19, 2013 by geelw

(Thank you, NoMoreHeroes!)

As far as commercial horror flicks of the 1970’s go they don’t get more disturbing than The Baby, a completely bizarre 1973 gem you have to see to believe. And even after you’ve seen it, you’ll probably want to watch it again just to make sure you weren’t having a really wild nightmare. Granted, the film has a few major flaws, some of which come from the writing and pacing. But chances are you’ll be so thrown off by some of the surreal acting and completely insane scenes that you’ll forgive this one for its faults.

It’ll definitely stick in your head for a while afterward, especially if you don’t see the surprise ending winding up to knock you right off the couch. Anajette Comer plays Ann, a social worker who is given the case of Baby, a 21-year old man kept in diapers and an oversize crib by his overbearing mother played by the gorgeous Ruth Roman (channeling Joan Crawford, Joan Collins and Liz Taylor) and two very pretty, very sexy yet verrrrrry peculiar sisters (Marianna Hill and Susanne Zenor). For sheer squirm in your seat value, the film scores big by tossing assorted mental and physical abuses into your lap and letting you figure out where the hell it’s going before taking a big U-turn into WTF territory… Continue reading →

Random Film of the Week Quickie: From Hell It Came

Posted on January 18, 2013 by geelw

(Thanks, Blazing Trailers!)

Oh, I should have done this one a while back as a RFoTW, but I kept hoping SOME smart cable station would show it again because I haven’t seen it in ages. That hasn’t happened, but there was a DVD release back in 2009 from Warner Bros., meaning you too can snap this up and check it out legally at some point. Sure, this 1957 flick has a hilarious looking tree monster (once you see that Tobanga, you’ll have it stuck in your head for a few days), a plot chock full of wormy holes and you can’t say those natives are anything resembling realistic.

Nevertheless, the film works in it’s own weird way as a sort of remake of Universal’s classic The Mummy, only in a quasi-Polynesian setting with an unstoppable wooden fiend as the monster to be feared. As for actual scares, there are a few here and there and as a kid, I think I laughed a lot at/with it only after I saw the film once or twice and realized it just wasn’t that frightening. Of course, most modern folks will be doubled over laughing at all that’s on display, but I guess it’s better than beating oneself on the head with a real tree branch after one too many hits off a pipe full of funny smelling dried leaves, right?

Anyway, I’m not sure if this flick helped inspire the Swamp Thing or Man-Thing at all, but it’s not hard to see that stiff tree thing being accepted into the Parliament of Trees based on his looks and mythology, getting piss drunk off his wooden ass at the bar there and getting kicked out later for peeing in the bushes. Anyway, someone REALLY on the ball needs to start preserving/restoring these old horror and sci-fi gems so they can be aired on a rotating basis. As in on a REAL horror/sci-fi channel run by genre fans, not a corporation that shoves out the same old crap reruns and lousy made for TV movies that are intentionally awful because they “think” they know what fans want.

If only they knew…

Warm Bodies: Undead, Rise Up And Take Back Your Lives! Er, Wait…

Posted on January 13, 2013 by geelw

Yeah, yeah, it’s based on a reeeeaaaaalllly popular book or whatever and yep, it’s geared to that teen crowd who needs their latest faux horror entertainment fix or whatever. But, bleh. Trailer above, first four minutes below. OK, I’m not THAT much of a cranky jerk – I’m just disappointed at what passes for a decent mainstream horror flick these days. I’ll admit it IS funny, but when I see zombies, I usually see ZERO laughs. Or at least laughs that are dark and completely cringe-worthy because you know it’s funny but you shouldn’t be laughing when you look at the big picture. Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland, anyone?

That said, the original 1968 version of Night of the Living Dead? That’s the gold standard for my old ass (and it should be for yours if you’ve never seen it). If it’s on cable and I’m awake and not watching anything important, I’ll catch that flick again and again because it works on a ton of levels these teen films miss entirely. That goes for today’s “vampire” flicks too, which need a SERIOUS revamping (no pun intended) OK, save for a few minutes and that ending, I liked that Fright Night remake a lot because it was actually funny, had a few good scares and an excellent performance from Colin Farrell (who makes a pretty creepy vampire). Let’s not even talk about the curse of Twilight, as billions of dollars in box office or not, those sparkly things aren’t even close to being a Nosferatu, Blacula or even a Count Yorga (yeah, I went there just to get you Googling)…

Random Film of the Week(end): Mars Attacks!

Posted on January 13, 2013 by geelw

As I’m still in full-on Earth Defense 2017 Portable mode this weekend, I figured I’d take a break and catch a movie while charging my Vita. Amusingly enough, Tim Burton’s underrated 1996 sci-fi black comedy was just starting up on one of the Cinemax channels, so I sat and caught one of my favorite end of the world films of the 90’s. Granted, back when it was released, it seems way too many parents were thinking they’d be getting a second Independence Day to take their kids to, so I remember the theater I saw this at on opening day being packed with parents and children (including some on a class trip). Let’s just say that when that flaming herd of cows came running past the camera before the brilliant main title sequence, about a third of the theater emptied out pretty quickly, leaving most of us true Tim Burton fans to our PG-13 rated treat…

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Side Effects May Include Me Wishing This Was A Different Sort of Movie…

Posted on January 11, 2013 by geelw

OK, it may be a great new flick when all is said and done (that trailer is quite tantalizing, that’s for sure), but as soon as I head the title a few months back, I actually thought Hollywood finally caught up to me and my bright ideas. I’d always imagined something called Side Effects being a David Cronenberg or David Fincher film about some pharmaceuticals gone haywire years after they were tested on people not realizing they were part of some massive and illegal field study. Oh well, my idea is safe as long as I don’t do something REALLY stupid like post it on the internet!

Oh, wait… $#!t. Eh, whatever. Not like anyone is going to do ANYTHING like that anytime soon, right? Oh, wait… $#!t.