I guess a post title like “In Case Of Emergency, BREAK GLASS. Slash Wrists With GLASS” is too extreme, huh? Anyway, the film is doing as I thought, as in fine with most horror fans and OK to so-so with critics who don’t quite see what the fuss is about or worse, go in with Cabin in the Woods expectations. Whatever. I didn’t like Cabin that much (despite it doing some fun things with the genre), the SCREAM movies annoyed me (again, some fun stuff, but overrated AND too many sequels) and don’t even get me started on those “found footage” flicks where someone has an old video camera with the battery life of a Galaxy Note III. Yeah, you Blair Witch Project. That ending was freaky, but I didn’t feel the least bit frightened by the rest of the film (and I’ve seen it three times just to make sure).
Hmmm… I don’t believe in “ghosts” either, so Paranormal Activity made me laugh at the people in the theater jumping at flying sheets or whatever. And as for The Exorcist? The hospital scenes were FAR scarier than any of that head spinning possessed crap. Which means the more superstitious you are, the least likely your survival odds will be when that ASPCA truck full of black cats tips over near that outdoor mall sale on ladders and mirrors which will get your heart racing before some kid running out of that mall in his 90% off Halloween costume (he’ll be a ghost or the devil) puts you down for the count. Welcome to your nightmare!
OK, maybe I’m too much of a curmudgeon here, but I won’t tell you what NOT to watch as it’s up to you where you eat your popcorn at the end of the day…
It just hit me a few days ago that Francis York Morgan (just call him York!) looks a little like the late film actor Montgomery Clift. Now, I haven’t mentioned this to him just yet, as he’s been out and very busy on this Red Seeds Killer case, but it’s a striking near-resemblance, don’t you think? Well, OK, the hair is different, but it’s raining in that screenshot. Here’s something tragically hip, though. Just as Monty had a terrible auto accident in 1956 that left scars and forever changed his life, York arrives in Greenvale thanks to a car wreck of his own. He’s unhurt, however… but like this real-life Hollywood actor, he’s got some demons to deal with both inside and out on his strange journey in and around that sleepy little town plagued by a vicious killer. Hmmm. I wonder if there’s a movie being made about this particular incident and who’s going to be cast as the handsome, troubled profiler with an unusual past? I’d bet it would be Monty Clift if times were shifted and he was around today looking like he did in this photograph… “There I go again shaking, but I ain’t got the chills…”
Hmmm… One of these days I’ll need to ask Game Director Swery 65 about his cinematic influences when creating this game. I know it started life as an homage of sorts to David Lynch’s amazingly weird and wonderful Twin Peaks, but once you play the game, you’ll see other elements pop up. Hmmm… how does the man find the time to watch movies when he’s got all of Greenvale to watch over to make sure only the strange stuff that HAS to happen there happens when it needs to happen? Oh well – I’ll let him finish that beer before I bug him about this. I don’t want to interrupt anyone enjoying an adult beverage with any silly questions…
I’m not sure if FBI Special Agent Francis York Morgan (just call him York) is one of the converted flock, but there’s something really weird about the guy in a strangely spiritual way. I hear he talks to himself in public or something, which isn’t TOO weird (everyone does this at some point, right), but that’s not really my business. If you’re also a happy heathen, you can spend a Sunday with York in Greenvale when you play Rising Star Games’ PlayStation 3 exclusive 
Oh, when you do stop by the A&G on a slow Sunday, keep an eye peeled for Game Director Swery 65, as he tends to drop in from time to time when he’s close by the town. I think Greenvale has no “blue laws” in place, as you’ll probably spot him having a cold beverage or two that ISN’T a Sundae. Hint, it happens to go REALLY well with more afterward and is even better with a good burger and side of really awesome hot hand-cut fries. Hmm… now I’m REALLY starving all of a sudden. Off to get some dinner that’s not as much of a “guilty” pleasure (but it WILL be a miracle if I can whip it up before Game of Thrones starts up – back in a bit.)..
No, it’s NOT my autobiography (ha ha), but the classic 1972 horror anthology (one of six released by Amicus Productions) with the poster I hated seeing in the subway as a kid. Hey, when you’re something under four feet tall or whatever, a HUGE ass skull with an eyeball following you around makes quite a memorably negative impression. Anyway, 
Yeah, yeah, we NORMALLY do our Saturday Evening Post about the swingin’ Swery65 Bar, but I just got an URGENT call followed by an email from Greenvale’s own Sheriff George Woodman, who’s a bit pissed off at me. OK, he’s REALLY pissed off at me and he’s probably got a good reason for that. Hey, I’m just trying to make these updates as entertaining as possible, so I tend to stretch the truth a little. Anyway, he’s mad because I’ve been portraying him as a bad-ass apple practical joker who’s mean, cranky and always going after FBI Special Agent Francis York Morgan (just call him York!) in some not so good ways. Anyway, George wants you to know that he’s a really nice guy and has a VERY sensitive side few get to see because he’s SUPPOSED to be a tough no-nonsense sheriff and isn’t supposed to be a super “nice” guy when he’s ON the job. Anyway, a few more things about George you should know (according to him):
Still, don’t let that stop you one bit from 
Still, I guess it was fine working for a famous big shot Game Director like Swery 65 (shown here with another famous big shot game director, Suda 51), as I can’t recall ANY reports of on-set problems while the game was being made. Sure, a few makeup and catering people went missing (and have never been found), but you know how it is in this business with a high turnover rate among certain types of low-level employees, right? Hmmm… maybe I should do some more digging on this Woodman character, as York seems like he’s a bit tied up with that Red Seeds Killer case and I think he could use some assurance that ol’ George isn’t a suspect…
Say a happy “Hello!” to Mezco’s 15″ Mega Scale Chucky doll. Well, say that happy “Hello” NOW, as once he arrives on your doorstep, it may be the last we see or hear of you. This latest incarnation, available for 
And of course, Game Director Swery 65 is DEFINITELY looking forward to all of you enjoying his game or not enjoying it, then debating with DP fans about what makes it so great. I’d say the fans of this one will outnumber the haters, who will be squeaking away like mice about holes in their cheese as everyone else is enjoying the ride. And playing the game all over again once they’re done. I say we should all make him a happy guy, as happy guys who make games make more good games afterward…
Speaking os appreciation, by the way, you buying this game and telling a friend or three would make Game Director Swery65 REALLY happy. If you ask me, I’d say that he’s sure to make a name for himself here in the US with his hot little interactive horror story and you can most certainly help out by snapping up a copy as soon as you see it at your favorite game emporium. I think he’s really on to something with this scary stuff, folks…
"DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!" 