Can The Conjuring Scare Up (and Out) an Audience? Let’s See Now…

Posted on June 30, 2013 by geelw

I’d say it’ll be one of those big weekend gross horror flicks that tapers off to a whisper around week four or five for a few reasons. ONE: The Amityville Horror/Paranormal Activity/Exorcist-style format is VERY played out unless you’re one of those suckers who continually gets scared by these sorts of “horror” flicks. TWO: “Based on a True Story”? Yeah, right. All that means is a room full of writers over a period of time condensed a newspaper clipping or TV news item to even barer bones before padding it out with assorted jump scares and maybe some minor gore effects, creepy music and noises on the soundtrack to get a specific rating. THREE: Speaking of that rating… That “R” rating better mean I’m under the couch and chewing the carpet up, not snoozing through some hokey faux parapsychologists and another easily debunked “ghost” story. Yeah, I said couch, as I refuse to see any modern horror movie these days with a too-easy to squeal and squeak audience that saw the same damn sort of movie two weeks ago or earlier and acts as if that same “BOO!” shock effect is something they’ve never seen in their short attention spanned lives.

That and the dopes who talk at the screen and/or yell at people for doing so make it far more entertaining to flush that ticket money down the nearest toilet…

Random Film of the Week(end) – (Summer Edition!): Sunshine

Posted on June 22, 2013 by geelw

Spoiler: Sunshine has a “happy” ending. End spoiler. I had to put that up front because Danny Boyle’s excellent 2007 sci-fi film is a layered downward emotional spiral with some solid performances throughout. The story pretty much sets up the fact that this is going to be terminally gloomy stuff (despite the positive sounding title): the crew of the Icarus II sets out from a suffering Earth to relight a dying Sun with a massive nuclear explosion seven years after the first mission fails. Yeah, that’s not your average blockbuster summer comedy hit storyline, that’s for damn sure…

As Icarus II gets closer to its target, it’s discovered that first Icarus didn’t actually disappear as much as become something of The Old Dark House in space (minus any comedic elements). When the new ship links up with the old in order to snag its bomb and it’s discover what happened to its crew, things get more than a little strange as a few shocking elements come into play…

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Shout Factory Wants You All Howling – I Say Oblige Them.

Posted on June 21, 2013 by geelw

Thank yooooooou, Shout Factory (awoooooooo)! Getting Joe Dante’s classic werewolf flick The Howling back into circulation on DVD and Blu-Ray? Nice. Now I can stop telling folks I run into campfire tales of how awesome (and freakishly LONG) that wonderful Rob Bottin-created transformation sequence was while also rambling on about Pino Donaggio’s excellent score and how the film managed to be at turns scary and silly as well as packed with in-jokes and plenty of references to other films. Huzzah! That and I can stop getting picked up by the fuzz here for setting campfires to lend a scary atmosphere to things whenever someone asks me about the film. Well, and carrying an axe in public, using said axe to chop up the nearest wooden sign for firewood (I don’t go after trees, as we need them around here), scaring little kids by acting out the transformation and a few other minor offenses. Er, um… saaaay, isn’t that some nice *new* cover art on the right up there?

(“Exit, stage left!” Oops, that’s YOUR right. Damn, you Snagglepuss!)

Random Film of the Week(end): Twitch of the Death Nerve/(A) Bay of Blood/Carnage

Posted on June 16, 2013 by geelw

Thanks, Attack From Planet B!

One problem some of us cranky genre fans have with most of today’s Hollywood horror movies is too many of them end up with ridiculous plots, under-written, one dimensional (as in terminally dumb), sometimes nude characters going through the same ridiculous motions that get them bumped off in even more ridiculous and bloody ways at intervals you can set your watch to most of the time. Not to mention stuff like some inane product placement that makes those parts of the film seem like ads dropped in between kills for stuff that would kill you if you consume too much of it.

Oddly enough, all this and more makes Mario Bava’s seminal gore classic Twitch of the Death Nerve (or (A) Bay of Blood, Carnage, or Blood Bath or one of many other titles it’s been released as) one of my favorite “B” horror films. Maybe it’s the blinders-on Bava fan in me that makes me like this one so much (some awesome shots aside, it’s far from his best work), or maybe it’s because the movie is actually kind of (alright, REALLY) funny in a very twisted way. The story is nuts with most of its assorted beautiful, handsome or unattractive characters motivated by their greed and/or assorted desires becoming random targets (and I mean random in some cases) of a killer (or killers) with their own agendas. By the end when the bodies are laid out all over the island, none of it makes any sense because the ending literally and figuratively blows away the remaining bits of the paper-thin plot.
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Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut DLC: New Cars, Clothes And A Crib For York!

Posted on June 11, 2013 by geelw

Well, oh yeah! If I weren’t up to my nose hairs in WAY too much E3 stuff (enough to last a few weeks’ worth of coverage), I’d most definitely be back in Greenvale enjoying this new DLC for Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut, now available on PSN. Yeah, you KNOW you want it… and boy are you going to get it. And sooner than you think, I bet.

And hey! Whaddya mean you need a review before you buy this? OK, OK… here you go. And yeah, I’m biased in favor of quirk over quality, so sue me – the game is awesome and weird as hell, but it all works!

Speaking of work… OK… back to work (again). Too much to do and not enough hours in the day as usual!

World War Z “Aggressive”/”Enigma” Trailers: Yeah, That About Describes It…

Posted on June 9, 2013 by geelw

I’m not QUITE all aboard the Z train just yet, but as with any other movie I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt and sit through it not based on any reviews or automatic hate coming from those who read the book and are cranky because the film swings so wildly away from the source material. Hey, it works for Game of Thrones, but you’re getting a series that’s going to run for a while as opposed to what’s crammed into two hours or so. Minus the home video version that will no doubt taunt those who paid to see this in theaters with words like UNRATED and Director’s Cut or maybe even the more tempting “Collector’s Edition” or (hold me!) “Z Edition”…

Yeah, I know you want at least ONE of those, right? Gotcha.

Random Film of the Week(end), Too: Dark City

Posted on June 8, 2013 by geelw

I didn’t get around to seeing The Matrix until its first sequel hit theaters, but when I did, I was surprised that it was so close thematically and visually it was to Dark City, Alex Proyas’ complex and visually stunning sci-fi film. For me, despite the lack of a more polished story, a reliance on mostly practical effects and a smaller budget, the film has a richer and more unique look than The Matrix that borrows from all over but manages to work almost perfectly.

Silent, film noir and more modern films get multiple nods, there’s a decidedly comic book aesthetic to the action scenes with “panel” compositions to some shots and everything’s wrapped into a “pay attention!” plot that makes for a film requiring multiple viewings to appreciate. Of course, other than loving the look and those freaky bald Strangers doing their thing (The teeth clicking? Scary and hilarious simultaneously), I didn’t much care for the film the first time I saw the original theatrical cut…

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Corona’s Humorous “Summer Cooler” Ad Needs a Horror Remake…

Posted on June 5, 2013 by geelw

Not that I have a twisted sense of humor at the ready or anything (OK, it’s active at all times, folks!), but as soon as I saw this new Corona ad, I started laughing probably for reasons the company hadn’t planned. Yes indeed, I can see some YouTube genius re-editing this one with quick shots of plastic wrapped (and fake) body parts getting tossed into that dented cooler at one point. Yeah, those summer memories can really be fun… until you start remembering TOO much. And nope, it was drinking too much Corona that caused those blackouts and memory loss, either…

Random Indie Game of the Week: DreadOut

Posted on June 3, 2013 by geelw

Amusingly and ironically enough, one of the scariest work-in progress games I’ve played this year comes from a developer named Digital Happiness. Based out of Indonesia, this small studio is in the process of polishing up their first game, DreadOut, a nicely frightening homage to Tecmo’s criminally neglected Fatal Frame series with a modern (and optionally social) twist.

DH is using the extremely versatile Unity game engine, a wonder tool for a number of small to large studios that can pump out some fantastic visuals the can be scaled to run an a wide range of computers and devices. The speed at which this has come together combined with the quality of the work is pretty astonishing. I believe Digital Happiness happens to be in the CG animation business or something, and you can see this in the character art, animation and general pleasingly realistic style of the visuals.
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Mezco’s Living Dead Dolls Resurrection Series 7: Chucky Gets Some Company…

Posted on June 1, 2013 by geelw

Mezco Toyz is dropping some cool San Diego Comic-con International reveals on collectors in the forms of their upcoming Living Dolls Resurrection Series VII and Living Dolls Resurrection Series VII – Variant Edition sets, both of which now available for pre-order directly from the company’s website.

As you can see, the “reborn” versions of Revenant, Dahlia, Lust and Killbaby all look nice and ready to stalk your shelves at home (or haunt someone else you decide to gift them). Looks like Barbie’s going onto that bonfire after all. Just keep a window open… the fumes will make you end up looking like one of these hellish cuties if you’re not too bright…