AryaBall: Almost There – Just One More Push (Throw, Toss, Fling, Swing, Kick) Away!

If you think about it, Babak Forutanpour’s AryaBall is more or less the smartphone of outdoor toys. Like your modern phone is an all-in-one device that does many things, AryaBall takes care of a few popular sports using a clever, innovative design that makes you want to grab one just to try it out. Go take a look at the almost funded Kickstarter and if you like what you see, well – you know what to do. I’m actually surprised that Babak hasn’t thought up ONE sport using everything in that cool new toy, as I could see some network exec slapping himself in the forehead at the very idea of some new (and popular) competitive show that makes for more must-see “reality” TV. Anyway, 45 more hours to go (and counting down) and AryaBall is only a few thousand from its goal… suspense!

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A Modern Stone-Age Remedy…

poor fredBlehhhh. Woke up to-day with what feels like someone stepping on my throat IN my throat. Slight headache, too… but that’s probably caffeine withdrawal kicking in because it’s what, 12:46pm (what, already?!) and I’m still buried under some blankets. Currently debating whether to roll over and get back to sleep, kick myself out of bed far enough across the room to lift an aspirin out of my bag, pop it and fall backwards hoping I land back in bed or just getting the heck up, splashing some water at the body and getting out for a walk in that howling wind I hear outside. Wait, what? It better NOT be back to being too cold again. (*DingDingDingDingDing!*). Stupid bell. Damn thing always goes off when I think of the right thing to do (*DING!*).

Oh, shut up bell.

Besides, there are dinosaurs out there and hot sticky tar pits and something that looks like a stegosaurus but it’s really a lawn mower that I haven’t fed since it turned up in the yard the other day. So I don’t feel like venturing out and getting stepped on, sucked down or eaten. (*Ding?*)… Okay, Okay, so I had a rather silly Flintstones related dream last night, bell. It was kinda scary and really stupid and I’m not quite awake yet.

(*Ding…DingDINGDingDingDING!!!*) Hmmm… yeah, yeah… easy for YOU to say, you’re just inside my head and man, that ringing? It’s getting annoying! That and yes, I now REALLY want to buy a case of Gold’s Horseradish now because of it (*Ding!*). Ha, ha and ha. Alright, it’s settled, bell. (*Ding!*) Door Number Three it is, bell (*DingDingDing!!*)… but if I trip on a fossil and bust my head open, you better hope I wake up and this is some really dumb dream.

Ugh… back in a bit. I need a vacation… (*DING! DingDingDingDingDing!*). Geez, “what’s with this bell ringing…”

CE Week 2013: Fujiiryoki Will Get Your Big Ass Fit While You’re Standing Still or Lying Down…

FJ-099Every time I see one of the many, MANY ads for diet pills, magic sprinkly chemical powders or drinks that make you full and other ineffectively expensive crap pushed on the public to people who think losing weight is too hard because actual exercise is involved that’s more than driving to the mall or walking down to the mailbox (or on a real daring stroll, to the local pharmacy).

I’m betting some real money of my own that if some of these quick fixers and anti-fitness fools added up all the money they’ve spent wasted on those “wonder” drugs and processed junk that only makes their purses and wallets lighter, they could all each afford a Fujiiryoki FJ-099 Body Slimmer and/or one of the company’s heavenly massage chairs.

Not to get all heavy on you (ha ha), but if you can ambulate yourself out to grab a diet pill of questionable origin and even more debatable effect and moan to your friends that it didn’t work or it worked too well but only in that “Welp, now I’m hooked and my liver/kidneys/spleen hates me!” kinda way… well, you’ve got no one to blame but yourself. Meanwhile, Dr Fuji’s expensive solution pays for itself, does a few awesome things to that body you’ll see AND feel and guess what? I bet you a dollar you’ll be laughing your ass off as you rumble those pounds down and get back into fighting shape. As soon as I saw Dr. Fuji on that CE Week show floor getting his Gangnam Style on while dancing on that Body Slimmer, yeah, I laughed at and with him before strolling past. The second time I circled past and saw a web show crew filming a funny promo spot, I decided to step up after they cleared out and see what the whole “Butt Show” thing was about.

Boy, was I (and my butt) VERY surprised…

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Humor: Another Trip To Bedrock’s Music Scene…

Cow belly, pot of beans
Tie a rope around your jeans
Tell your ma not to wait
You ain’t getting home till late…

Hmmm… based on those first four lines from the Bedrock Twitch, you’ll either be apologizing to some blind date for insulting her size or you’re on the way to a nice shotgun wedding for what happened afterwards. Or both, knowing some of you out there who can’t keep a secret or stay out of trouble at the same time. Thankfully, for the rest of you who know what’s what with this kooky tune, it’s all about bouncing around the room and keeping the tune going with a funny wig on your head and two-string guitar (made of stone, at that!) so it’s all good. Yeah, you KNOW you’re up and doing that one-foot hop, too. I won’t tell… but your dog may bite you for waking it up if you bounce by too loudly… or because you have the cat on your head thanks to not having a wig handy. “Twitch, twitch!”

Toy Fair 2013: Flip2BFit and Bakari Will Put A Forever Spring In Your Step…

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flip2bfitEven though I know a few folks who’ve lost weight using WiiFit, Let’s Dance, Zumba or other video games, the fact is, these aren’t for everyone. In general, not enough people in the US exercise and eat right period, video game consoles aren’t in every home for any number of good reasons and some people need a bit more motivation than taking the relatively expensive way out of buying more devices that they probably won’t use once they’re unpacked. That said, adding some sort of play to one’s exercise routine is a great thing and that’s where Heather Parisi and her all ages fitness games Flip2BFit and Bakari come in. Sometimes, a good old fashioned board or card game is the way to go for anyone looking to shape up with kids they don’t want glued to the TV or a device when they should be concentrating on a few important things like diet and exercise…

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