Now I’ve seen everything, but given the past couple of subway rides I’ve had to take over the past few months, perhaps I’m not the only one who needs to be reading this stuff. My nose is refusing to venture outdoors with me half the time because of some of the people we pass by or interact with tend to be a wee bit too ripe. Granted, the ingredients in this particular bar of soap will most likely peel your skin off with repeated usage, but there are smarter alternatives. This one just happened to be in a gift basket my mother received and I ended up with it.
Hey, wait… maybe mom was trying to tell ME something (*sob!*)…
OK, kids… basta es basta. It’s now impossible to have a conversation with some people these days without an opinion getting in the way of someone learning something that might help them see something more clearly (and truthfully) in regards to a favorite slice of entertainment. You can’t “win” a non-debate by being the biggest mouth in the room or very selectively highlighting bits of another conversation that only show you’re a really terrible chooser of words that only make you look foolish for ignoring the ones you’ve missed.
Life gets easier once you admit you’re wrong once in a while and that your opinions on stuff you love don’t count a whit when an actual fact hits you over the head about something you deem sacred (and makes your opinions as valid as a winged moon-cow). You don’t lose any points for ‘fessing up to a fault, as we all eat some crow from time to time (and NEED to, frankly speaking – it keeps honesty alive and kicking one in the ass). Take a page from the late Radio Raheem and learn to LOVE a little before your HATE for the truth knocks you the f*#k out in public. Live and learn from your mistakes – this makes you a better person. NOT what you think you know because your emotion center works better than your rational thinking.
So, if you paid good money to see the not so hot Oblivion back in April when it came out, I’m betting you were surprised as hell to see a TV or internet commercial about two months later advertising the home video version coming… on August 2, 2013, less than FOUR MONTHS after the theatrical release. Wow. Granted, this is the day and age of some minor films getting a direct to download/view option at the same time as their theatrical launches or a direct to video as well as a theatrical release. But I believe that Oblivion is the fastest “A” budget title to land on video (feel free to correct me, movie guys). I didn’t see it in a theater and don’t plan to buy it on a disc (yup, I’m not a Cruise fan these days, sorry), but I have to almost feel bad for the guy (almost… but not really) having to see his big, big “blockbuster” go the “please bump up my take on the gross” route or whatever in less than the usual time it takes for a film so expensive to make show up at retail… and at a “special price” at that.
What the hell did I miss? Did the earth explode and I’m the only one not on facebook and twitter babbling about it? Did the Royal Baby crawl today? What? I’ve been to three places today and EVERY single one of them, while having an “excellent” connection, is SLOOOOOOOOWER than a bunch of old coots on Rascal scooters with dead batteries at the bottom of a steep hill. So far, I’m getting a MAXIMUM of a “whopping” 18mmps where I’m at not. 18!??? WTF? Meh. Oh wait a minute, Dave. Wait a minute. We’re now at 24mbps! Wah-hoo! Er, nope. Feh. So much for my downloading of screens and such to go with the stuff I’m writing, a few games I need to get started on and some other stuff, grrrr…
Meh, I’ll hang out here a half hour or so longer than start off for the home office. I hate it when this happens. Of course, I could stroll around looking for a better signal, but my online search for that shows just two more spots close by, so I may drop in and see what happens there…
OK, I don’t like this live event announcing the new Doctor Who at all as it reminds me of that basketball special I didn’t watch because I’m not a sports fanatic (but couldn’t ignore because it was ALL some were babbling about for days before and afterward). Whatever happened to a simple surprise in the upcoming last season episode or a simpler press release or even better, a simple press conference that doesn’t require much in the way of expense or overblown wind up to a three-second reveal? Eh, whatever – I’ll be out and about tomorrow and not able to catch the special when it runs, but I bet it gets rerun later in the day on BBC America. I’ll be home around 6 or 7pm, so I’ll just tune in then. Or since I’ll be online all day, maybe I’ll just see all the comments and fan gushing all over facebook and twitter…
All that said, MAN, there are some awfully sexist fans out there! I’ve overheard a few conversations where there’s actual outrage expressed if the new Doc turns out to be a female. I say that would make for a super season that shakes things up quite a bit and if it happens, it’ll make the writing quite interesting. Anyway, we’ll see in less than 24 hours, right?
I saw this trailer when I went to see Turbo at a press screening earlier this month (which was also open to a bunch of lucky kids and parents) and after it was over, I overheard from behind me a few rows back, some adult reassuring their kid or the kid they were in charge of for the day that the film wasn’t “real like it is in the Bible”, and that kind of got my goat a little. Granted, this film is more than a bit stupid in that it’s trying to be like an extended episode of Meerkat Manor or some other “reality” animal show that’s supposed to be dramatic and charming (blech) as it “tells it like it is” or whatever. But I just don’t like adults ill-equipped for actual facts outside what was beaten into them spreading ignorance onto kids who need to expand their minds, not contract them and think less outside the box they’re forced into. You can’t be part of the future if you grow up not expanding your knowledge of the past.
Of course, it’s also important to have an open mind as well, but one does need to get wiser with age. That said, I save that open-minded stuff mostly for appreciating junky films like this one that try to have it both ways with men and dinosaurs in the same place like it’s a more violent live-action version of The Flintstones
And don’t even get me started on Dinosaurus! and its crazy electricity-revived caveman and dinosaurs triple threat. Yikes. Granted, I could go further back and post clips from sillier films made before science caught up with Hollywood and its need to present every bit of human (and pre-human) history as “entertainment”, but I tend to give those classics a pass on their lack of accuracy because the filmmakers didn’t have much to work with and man, if you can hate Gertie the Dinosaur for any reason, you really have no soul. Little in-joke there, by the way.
OK, I do need to catch upon a TON of stuff I’ve missed out on over the past few weeks, but I may as well drop in another random piece or three from the gallery for fun. These are from a “series” of fake vacation photos from a trip to hell, which looks just like here, but with more heat and different neon signs. I can’t say if it’s any more miserable a place than the “real” world, as both have good and bad points.
For one thing, despite what some tavern signs say (hey, lies are everywhere down there!)… they don’t serve beer in hell, but the food is always hot and cheap. Yes, that includes the ice cream, which is weird… but tasty and somehow holds that familiar shape when it’s scooped and put on a hot off the stack waffle cone. Yum-o(uch)!
Oh, I just KNOW you’re curious now. Don’t worry, though… you’ll find out soon enough. I went and got you a free ticket while I was there. The place is ALWAYS open and yep, they just love visitors. Don’t forget to visit the gift shop on the way back up. Everything is free and they’ll even gift wrap as much as you can carry. Just avoid the Sisyphus Rock replica, as it’s actual size, but to a mortal, only feels as heavy as an average-sized grapefruit in the underworld. However, it turns into a REAL 500-plus pound boulder when it leaves the basement level. if you can roll it home afterwards, it DOES make a great gag gift for a friend or enemy…
While I’m happy as hell that Earthbound has FINALLY been deemed worthy of a re-release, I’m not at all pleased that Nintendo has given it the cheapest treatment possible, tossing it onto the eShop as a digital-only download and missing the cool strategy guide and scratch & sniff cards packed in with the original boxed Super Nintendo version. Actually, the major beef I have is how Nintendo passed up the opportunity to do this up right as a combination physical/digital product that would have made them MORE money at the end of the day had the company merely polled its rather large user base with the following idea for a premium-priced retail Earthbound collection:
A fully localized Mother (the first game in the series) updated for the Wii U Gamepad
Earthbound (Mother 2)
A fully localized Game Boy Advance version of Mother 3 also updated for the Wii U Gamepad
voucher codes for eShop versions of all three titles for the 3DS
An art gallery, soundtrack download and perhaps unlockable images and movies from the cancelled Nintendo 64 version Mother 3
Perhaps even an interview or three with staff members from the development team about the making of the games for good measure.
Hell, I’d pay fifty bucks for that and I’d bet YOU would too. I could also see Nintendo making all of the games available as separate digital download titles for the 3DS and/or Wii U at about $10 each and raking in a profit on those with no problem. By treating the SNES game as a disposable commodity instead of giving it the respect it’s earned over time from folks who’ve either held on to the original cart, paid rent money for a vintage or used copy or (yuck) even illegally downloaded a ROM (and yes, that includes you folks playing those fan translations of the first and third game who don’t own and never intend to own the original carts because you’re too lazy to learn Japanese).
Granted, it’s hard to say if this set of games on a disc as noted above would even drive stagnant Wii U sales at all, but I’d bet if Nintendo announced my stupid idea as a project and asked the fans if they’d buy in, they’d see a great deal more interest in that new console they’re having a very hard time getting more of you out there to buy.
Is there a way out? Maybe so
But you’re too occupied to know
So turn that crank and spin that wheel
The pain? You’re not supposed to feel
And when that quitting time bell rings
Your aching body squeaks and sings
And back home then to eat and snore
Then Tuesday’s come – you’re back for more!
“Bugs Bunny Was Here!” 1949’s Rebel Rabbit was and is one of the more pointed WB cartoons and an all-time personal favorite. As a friend of mine who was born and raised there said to me a few days back “Florida is a mighty odd place, man.” And that’s all I’ll say about that.
"DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!" 