Not So Random Film of the Week: The Lovely Bones

CKSSRS_XmasHey, kids! Happy Christmas (or whatever you celebrate) and all that rot! I had to open one of my presents early in order to tell you what my brain and eyeballs say about it, so here you go. This post is my little contribution to The Cinematic Katzenjammer’s Not-So-Secret Santa Review Swap. It’s definitely not a holiday flick (nor a joyous one), but you never know what you’ll get from Saint Nick when he drops something down your chimney. You just need to review it and hope you do a good job at it… OR ELSE. Anyway, grab some eggnog, pull up a comfy chair, put the pet of choice on your lap and read on!

The Lovely Bones_MPI have a particular problem with most ghost stories in film thanks to zero continuity or lineage in the mythos from one tale to another across the globe. Yes, I’ve seen dozens of great films from mildly spooky to downright scare me under the furniture freaky in over 46 years of watching movies, but their level of effectiveness is more due to great writing and acting than these tales making any sort of logical sense from one to another. That said, after watching it twice, I can very safely say that The Lovely Bones is a beautiful looking, wonderfully shot and mostly terrifically acted movie that for me, was manipulative, frustrating and not at all satisfying to watch.

Even Brian Eno swiping his own music from tracks on Here Come The Warm Jets (one of my favorite albums) and adding them to his often ethereal score can’t save this film from its weaknesses. Then again, maybe it’s me being cranky here? After all, Peter Jackson and I have some unspoken grief beef ever since 1996’s The Frighteners made me want to strangle myself in my sleep after I saw it and the overkill of way too many CG effects and too much trying to be too funny and too serious simultaneously beat a whole theater of paying saps into a blue-green hued coma. That said, this 2009 film makes that old one look a lot more palatable and enjoyable in comparison… Continue reading

Random Film of the Week(end): The Stunt Man

The Stunt Man_MPIt’s been a really sad year for film fans in terms of losing bits of history and memory as the months fly by too soon. Upon hearing that Peter O’Toole passed away, the first thing I thought of was that TCM is really going to need to update its TCM Remembers video to include the legendary actor (and perhaps Paul Walker, as he wasn’t included {not being a “classic” film actor and all} although Eleanor Parker, who died later, was).

The second thing I thought of was not the film he’s probably going to be most remembered for by many, David Lean’s masterful epic Lawrence of Arabia, but Richard Rush’s bawdy, bold 1980 film, The Stunt Man with the actor playing a madman of a director trying to make a bizarre World War I film with an on the lam drifter replacing the stunt man killed in a freak accident… Continue reading

I Still Need A Vacation, But The Store Needs Minding…

Fred Staying Awake_BarelyBleh. While it’s not as bad as it’s been in previous years, I’m gathering that the usual winter blahs that creep into my generally crowded head starting around November will be packing some extra fierce cold and wind action. I’m a firm believer that everyone gets gloomy about something at some time during the year or their lifetime and the best thing to do isn’t to suck down a handful of prescribed happy pills that end up making you worse through assorted side effects straight out of a 70’s horror film, but to ride it out and find something constructive to do to keep those neurons busy being creative.

Thankfully, that’s NOT a problem here at all, as I actually have too much to do and not enough time to do it all, a helper non-monkey that’s going to be contributing stuff he likes here in a bit and a few other irons in the fire I can’t talk about just yet because I’m still juggling ideas around. That means I don’t sleep much some days, but it’s all good. I was going to write something about my current annoyance at social networking, FiOS ending people around to ring doorbells on a weekend, making soup on a whim, and that ONE person who doesn’t get a joke that pretty obvious yet so meta that you’d need to be an overreacting idiot to not see it’s not serious at all. However,dear reader… that stuff takes deeper thought than I have on a stupidly cold Sunday where it snowed earlier and rained later (boo, slushies for EVERYBODY!!!)… Meh, I’ll be back later tonight or tomorrow… I’ve got some content to generate…

Interstellar Teaser Trailer: What You Do After You’ve Gone Batty Thrice…

So, it’s about a year away (!), but Christopher Nolan’s upcoming Interstellar looks as if it will be one more intensely interesting film from one of the more prolifically creative mainstream directors working today. Granted, this SUPER tease may as well be a trailer for a Salvage One movie or a more serious version of Joe Dante’s EXPLORERS, but I like that vagueness going on here and the fact that we have to wait a whole year to see what’s coming. Naturally, there WILL be updates as more of the plot and cast are revealed, but with any new film, I prefer to stay the hell off the internet and far away from speculation and spoilers because it just makes for a better overall viewing experience. Try it sometime and see, I say…

Review: Adventure Time: Explore The Dungeon Because I DON’T KNOW!

adventure time Wii UPlatform: Nintendo Wii U/Nintendo 3DS (also on PS3/Xbox 360/PC)

Developer: WayForward Technologies

Publisher: D3Publisher of America

# of Players: 1-4

ESRB Rating: E10+ (Everyone 10+)

Official Site

Score: B (80%)

You don’t need to be a big Adventure Time fan at all to enjoy Adventure Time: Explore The Dungeon Because I DON’T KNOW!, but it may help out considerably if you’re a fan of ancient dungeon crawlers, intentional use of 8-bit visuals and a certain classic four-player arcade dungeon crawler. Insanely busy developer WayForward Technologies has managed to capture all of those elements in this game, and while it’s a pretty straightforward experience, as a long time fan of anything dungeon related (er, don’t get any “whip-smart” thoughts in your noggins, people!), this one’s a fine bit of nostalgia that’s even more fun with a few friends along for the long haul. Going in solo is also enjoyable if you’re that old school (raises hand high!), but if you want to rack up more loot and enough money for gear and skill upgrades, you’ll need to pick your hero or heroine wisely. Survival can be pretty tough in the later maps when you’re alone and not able to get to those out of reach goodies… Continue reading

Random Film of the Week: Friday the 13th

Friday the 13th_MPAmusingly enough, I wasn’t planning on doing a RFotW at all (well, for a few days at least) until I was walking home and realized that it was indeed that day where superstitious people go out of their ways to avoid danger and paradoxically set themselves and others up for accidents. If you’ve ever spilled a hot or cold beverage on yourself or someone else or the ground because some idiot was jumping out of the way of a black cat, diving past a ladder, threw a handful salt over their shoulder into your eyes or anything else deemed to ward off bad luck, you probably know what I mean, correct?

Anyway, taking its cues from !950’s “B” horror and Italian giallo films and adding a few (for the time) modern twists Sean S. Cunningham’s 1980 horror flick is to many, a classic. Granted, back when it was released it was labeled as “misogynistic” (despite a girl being the last survivor and a plot twist I won’t spoil here for those who still haven’t seen this one) along with a bunch of other genre films that put BOTH male and female characters in peril and if you want to see it as such, I’m not going to change your mind. However, when you take into account the guys get it as badly as the gals here, I’d say the film is shocking because it actually doesn’t discriminate when it comes to who gets the axe, arrow, machete or other modes of mean-spirited dispatching… Continue reading

STL Ocarina Reminds You That Tauriel Is a LOT Cooler Than Zamfir Will EVER Be…

So, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug opens in theaters today and yes indeed, STL Ocarina wants to get you in the mood for the film with a lovely little tune played by an actual elf. Okay, so it’s NOT an elf, actually… but hey, that video and tune make you BELIEVE there are and that’s all that counts, correct? And yes, you can still snap up that 6 Hole Lord of the Rings Ocarina you’ve been eyeballing. Did you know that people who play any type of musical instrument over time tend to be sharper when it comes to picking up on mistakes? Well, there’s a University of St. Andrews study that says it’s all due to learning how to play an instrument and sticking with it. Who says you can’t learn anything new these days? Now go get yourself or someone else a nice playable gift this year!

Dungeon of the Endless Trailer: The Final Frontier Is Only About FOREVER Long…

DOET_revealimageEndless Space was (and still is) a pretty amazing 4X strategy game that still draws in players thanks to a ton of depth and replay value plus a very healthy modding community. So, as one of a few follow up titles, developer Amplitude Studios is making… a dungeon crawler set in the same universe? Yes, this is Dungeon of the Endless, currently in development and coming soon to PC via Steam.

Well, that actually works very well for me, as I love that genre more than poking about amount the stars and hoping all my ships aren’t blown into space dust because I got lazy and forgot to do something twenty hours before that’s coming back to bite me in the butt. As you can see above in that teaser trailer, the game will feature randomly generated maps, loads of space beasties to dispatch or be dispatched by and is pretty much guaranteed to suck many, many hours of free time away from stuff you SHOULD be getting done except you were too busy being up too late at night not doing things like sleeping and dreaming of more productive endeavors…

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Age of Barbarian II On Indiegogo: Your NSFW “B” Game Guilty Pleasure Gets A Sequel…

AoBII_indiegogoWith strong influences ranging from Robert E. Howard’s Conan stories, the classic fantasy art of Frank Frazetta and other illustrators, PC games such as the Barbarian series, “B” games such as Sword of Sodan and many others, Crian Soft’s violent and nudity packed Age of Barbarian was one of those games that drew some controversy in some circles for its decidedly NSFW (and DEFINITELY not for the kiddies content). Granted, if you appreciated all of what the game was attempting in its gloriously macho over the top recreation of its fantasy world, you were grinning like a Cimmerian while playing through the bloody side-scrolling hack and slash action. Conversely, if you were a cranky prude who only saw a trailer or screenshots, you were probably shaking your fists at a monitor and letting your eyeballs and brain boil in your skull.

AoBII_facebook

No matter how you felt about the game, creator Christian Fanucci is in the process of whipping up an even more polished sequel and yes, it’s crowdfunding time! Given that the goal is a pretty modest $12,000 and the funding campaign runs until February 2, 2014, I’d say Fanucci makes his target provided he’s got people who aren’t afraid to fly their flags proudly and say they loved the first game and want to see a second. Given the planned and promised changes to make it an even bigger sequel (Golden Axe style mounts, a bigger world map and many side quests to tackle), this is one of those games that I hope sees everything happen to get it out there and played by those who want more of Rahaan and Sheyna’s adventures on their computers. Forget about this one coming to consoles, as it would probably be an automatic AO for the near nudity and other scenes alone. That said, fans of Conan, the Sword and the Sorcerer and a ton of other 80’s flicks should get this on their plate and check out some of the higher-end rewards, as they’re pretty cool for those with the cash to spare.

Atlus Joins The Humble Weekly Sale Action – Knock Yourself Out For A Few Bucks….

While it would have been nice to see an ALL Atlus bundle, the three games here plus the Tripwire Interactive titles aren’t bad at all and for six bucks (which unlocks everything including the soundtracks), you’re getting a really nice deal in this Humble Weekly Sale. Of course, if you’re like me, this tempting set of titles only means your backlog of games you’ll need to play only grows like a beanstalk up to a giant castle full of MORE games (and a golden egg laying goose, perhaps?). And hey, as you can see above, Rock of Ages is insane and hilarious enough to pay six bucks for on its own. Both Zeno Clash games are a hoot as well. Anyway, you know what to do, correct?