Well, you most likely KNOW that part already (if you’ve actually seen Fight Club, that is). I think there’s some other unwritten rule later on about NEVER fighting the blue alien who looks like he’s going to break you into five pieces, but whatever. Besides, who reads the manual to anything these days? It’s obviously much worse in the future (and I can only wonder HOW new furniture and bicycles will get put together then – it’ll be kids and wives falling down everywhere thanks to lazier dads not figuring stuff out even more!). Anyway, contrary to what I’ve been posting previously (Oops!), DEFIANCE actually premieres on April 15, 2013 (9pm/8 Central Time) on syfy. That’s Tax day for many here in the US (whee!), so you can cry when you send out those forms and your check for what you owe Uncle Sam (who must be doing a LOT of shopping at QVC or something with all that money he gets) and come home later to feel better in front of a cool-looking new TV show. AND game (which hits stores on April 2), if you’re connected and want to dive into more of the lore in a more interactive manner…
And you know what else? Enough of you out there buying the game and telling others about it will definitely make Swery65 (shown deep in thought about what he’d like to drink at the bar when he arrives later) a nice chunk of change so he can maybe redecorate the place to a more modern western theme and perhaps add in a few pinball machines or something. Eh, then again… he’ll probably keep it as it is, as you know how the locals always HATE it when their favorite watering hole goes all upscale and starts attracting the wrong crowd. On the other hand, better a few too many annoying college kids than a creepy killer lurking at a corner table, right?
OK, you head looks too tightly attached to your neck today, so here’s an amazing offer to get it spinning really fast. Put on a hat and sit in a room with a low ceiling before reading further. All set? Good. FIRST: Go to the 
Yikes, indeed. Even “funnier” (or not, depending on your own sense of humor), the book Kermit is reading is titled (Eek..) “VASECTOMIES FOR DUMMIES”… Yikes. Yeah, try explaining THAT one to the kids (should they have access to a decent magnifying glass, as it’s hard to see in the published size). Ha, Ha, Ha. As a former Muppet Show fanatic, I should be more annoyed at this, but I think that’s a waste of my time. I have bigger fish to fry. And eat. Now I’m hungry and no longer mildly pissed off. Welcome to Short Attention Span Theater! Eh, I don’t think anyone will freak out about this much if at all, but I’m glad I’m not the one who drew this up. Cue the ghost of Jim Henson in a ratty Big Bird suit with a Candyman hook on one wing. Someone better sleep with one eye open, is all I’m saying…
Oh, wait a minute… Ah ha ha. My mistake, folks. The detective was being a bit sarcastic and tossing a good one out about Sheriff George Woodman who it turns out isn’t the nicest cop in the neighborhood. Oops. Well, at least I found that out before I had to go poking around Wackypedia for “facts” about cars written by contributors that don’t even know how to drive. Say, did you know that despite needing to drive a few places in the game, YOU don’t need to know how to drive when you’re playing 
OK, so 
"DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!" 