RAZE Trailers 1 & 2: BAM! POW! Sisters Are Doin’ It To Themselves…

Posted on January 10, 2014 by geelw

OUCH! Look, Hollywood. As much as I like strong female characters in my movies, this is a wee bit much. Or at least the trailers are numbing past the point of a good shot of painocaine. I can see the recipe now: One part Caged, One part Fight Club, add a jigger of Prisoner: Cell Block H, a slice of SAW and some of that special Corman spicy stuff from the baggie in that old coffee can and it’s BEWM! a knuckle and booby sammich you better treat right (and take your time with) OR ELSE. Eh, I dunno. Not to be (even more) sexist or anything, but I just don’t like women getting the crap kicked out of each other even if it’s by other women. Don’t you all get enough of that rough stuff from men in these sorts of films? Granted, I’m not a MMA of UFC fan at all these days and nope, I don’t even like it when men beat the crap out of each of other unless it’s in a stupid action movie where I know that the violence isn’t real and usually, the guys getting beat down deserve that knee to the head that sends them off a balcony fifteen floors to land on their heads.

Comin

On the other fist, I do love me some stupidly wild grindhouse films from across the spectrum from flat out funny to morally questionable by today’s standards. But I take those outrageous flicks in stride and not at all seriously because most are flat out hilarious under all their fake blood and gore. That said, I’m intrigued and may catch this when it pops up on cable at some point. I may not like all of what I see (the story BETTER be worth all that gal on gal violence), but I won’t be gleefully rubbing my mitts together like some people who see this and think waaaay too sexy thoughts about all that brutality being “hot” because women are getting beaten to death. Okay, ladies. Weigh in if you like. Um, that wasn’t a pun, by the way. Heh. Don’t hit me! I’m fragile! Ow! *Flinch*

Omnicorp’s CES 2027 Lineup Looks Mighty Familiar…

Posted on January 10, 2014 by geelw

Yes, these are snazzy viral teasers for the RoboCop reboot in case you were thinking I found the key to a TARDIS somewhere and stupidly ONLY brought back this stuff from the future. I’d actually go back to the past a few times and stock up on old comics and a few Van Goghs plus push a few would be dictators off of high balconies or something like that.

Ahem, any-waaaay, these lead ups are quite amusing for sure… now it’s up to the movie to take off and fly right into that box office stratosphere or something corny like that. My mind is otherwise occupied today, so you’ll need to take what’s served up today, sorry!

Yumi’s Odd Odyssey Trailer: Girls Gone Fishin’ Will Hook You In…

Posted on January 10, 2014 by geelw

It seems in Yumi’s Odd Odyssey
hook, line and sinker set you free
As you strange maps
Avoiding doom (yes, mind the gaps!)

There’s also strange fish and more to fight
(or get away from, far out of sight)
Practice up and learn the moves
(don’t toss that handheld if you lose!)

It may seem tough, but it takes skill
You’ll get it soon by force of will
It’s coming soon via the eShop
keep an eye peeled for it to drop!

Natsume is wisely bringing a fun entry in the Japanese cult classic Yumihara Kawase series to North America under the moniker Yumi’s Odd Odyssey to the Nintendo 3DS soon (it seems this month) and as you can see from that video above, it’s pretty cute… and pretty challenging. Hooking and hauling your character of choice up and around assorted levels as the clock ticks away requires patience and timing, but there’s a load of levels here and too much fun to be had once you get into the mechanics. I haven’t played a game in this series in a few years, so I know I’ll be rusty as hell. But that won’t stop me one bit (although I suck at real life fishing as well!). Unless I get caught up in writing more crappy poetry like the example above and forget all about playing the game…

Shaq Fu 2? Shaq Says It Just May Happen!

Posted on January 9, 2014 by geelw

(thanks, cubex55!)

Holy “Nope!”, Sports Fans! According to the big man of the week at CES (GamerFitNation’s all-around Superman, Antwand Pearman), The bigger man he interviewed this week at CES 2014, Shaquille O’Neal says there’s the possibility of a NEW Shaq Fu in the works. Yikes. No way. Yikes. In case you’re wondering, the original Shaq Fu was a weird as hell (and some would say terrible, but I’m not one of those some. I think it’s only just bad and campy!) fighting game featuring Mr. O’Neal as a martial arts master fighter and yes it’s as absurdly brilliant and silly as it sounds. I think nearly everyone I knew with a Sega Genesis or Super Nintendo in their house had this game at some point and even if they hated it, it was PLAYED to death because of the absurd plot, funky fighting mechanics and fact that yeah, it’s a hell of a curiosity piece.

I’d write more on this, but my brain in some form of suspended animation shock. Here, go read about this right from the horse’s mouth. I need to go find a copy of that first game and see if it still holds up. I think Shaq is pulling some legs here, but no one lies to Antwand and gets away with it for too long. Or so I’ve heard. He’s a really nice guy, but don’t make him angry. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry…

Random Film of the Week: Legends of the Fall

Posted on January 9, 2014 by geelw

I may be a hopeless romantic (okay, okay … only sometimes!) but even I’m not a sucker for the big budget blockbuster romance film. Still, I sit through a few when I have the time to kill or get trapped and its the only damn thing to look at that won’t get me in trouble. Edward Zwick’s great-looking Legends of the Fall made me laugh out loud many times when I first saw it on a long airplane flight and it still makes me laugh today.

I laugh more now because I believe the airplane cut was a tiny bit shorter than the theatrical version, but back on that trip, I laughed louder because I’d fallen asleep during the screening and woke up a few hours later only to find the film replaying again almost exactly from the same spot as if it were waiting for me like a long lost love. Burning up the screen with more testosterone and scenery chewing from about everyone in the cast, this is one of those films that may have led to a few breakups among couples where one dragged the other to see this expensive pot-boiled turkey and the aftermath was about as wild as the fast-motion/freeze frame bear fight that pops up near the ending.

Yeah, you read that correctly. Read on for more… Continue reading →

Humor: Sometimes, Paying Attention Can Get You Killed (Maybe)…

Posted on January 9, 2014 by geelw

So, either quarters are the new pennies or I’ve uncovered a crime in progress. Or something. As I’m walking to the library today, I hear the sound of coins falling to the pavement and sure enough, two quarters come rolling my way. One veered to the left sharply, skipped up over a raised bit of pavement and stopped when it fell flat. The other one rolled straight towards me and I put out a foot to stop it as it rolled under my sneaker. I could feel that it was still standing on its edge when I put my foot down and for a quick second, thought of that episode of The Twilight Zone where Dick York gains the ability to read minds after he tosses a coin that lands on its side and stays there:

Of course, I snapped out of my black and white dreamland and looked up to see where that fifty cents came from. There was a man standing at a the block’s parking slip dispenser putting more coins in the machine, so he seemed to be the one who’d just lost that money. I lifted my foot and picked up the first quarter and then scooted over to retrieve the second before taking the dozen or so steps up to where he was standing. Holding out the coins, I got out a cheery “I think these are…” before a blunt “KEEP THEM” hit me on the head. Ouch? He didn’t even look at me, preferring to glare at the meter instead. As he placed a new quarter in the machine, I asked “Did you drop these?” and got a flat “Yes. Don’t need them.” back in response.

Hmmmm… this could get innnnteresting... Continue reading →

Hey, el Diablo de Culiacan? The Devil Is Indeed In The Details…

Posted on January 9, 2014 by geelw

So… I’m in the library typing away yesterday when I look up and a DVD catches my eye. “Wait, someone made a Diablo III movie? ALREADY? No, that’s not even possible! OR right!” I think (plus a few other things) as I hop out of my seat and reach for the case. It turns out that I was right and it’s just probably one of the worst cases of trademark theft and sheer laziness in coming up with a logo I’ve ever seen.

This, ladies and gents is el Diablo de Culiacan a 2011 Mexican action film that I haven’t seen (but probably should just to get it over with) and based on the trailer below has absolutely, positively 100 percent NOTHING to do with Blizzard’s multimillion selling game series. Check it out:

(thanks, bandoretrito01!)

Uh huh. Well, um… it’s violent, at least… Continue reading →

Random Film of the Week: Across 110th Street

Posted on January 9, 2014 by geelw

No, it’s NOT “Blaxploitation Week” here at DAF because believe it or else, Across 110th Street isn’t really an exploitation film at all. Sure it’s got sudden (but VERY expected) bursts of violence, plenty of (way too brightly colored) blood spilled, swearing out the wazoo, hard drug usage, funky fashions and Afros all wrapped in very palpable sense of dread that lurks around from the moment the film gets underway until its inevitable conclusion. Oh, and that urban gangster theme, stereotypical I-tal-i-an mobsters getting needlessly brutal, an equally racist white cop (Anthony Quinn) and the fresh to the precinct black detective (Yaphet Kotto) who has to work with him on his first major case may all make you THINK you know what you’re getting into.

But then a funny thing happens after the title credits roll… the film surprises you with a surprisingly well shot and tense crime action/thriller with a deliberately relentless tone that escalates as things spiral out of control. Stealing drug money from the mob is a bad idea in any dramatic film, but this film lets you watch the doomed men pull off their dirty deed successfully while letting you see all too clearly that they’re not going far with their ill-gotten gains… Continue reading →

Get Even Teaser Trailer Gets Really Even With My Skeptical Self But Good…

Posted on January 8, 2014 by geelw

Yes, it’s ONLY a teaser trailer and yes, it’s a bit on the “too much grey” for my tastes, but considering I was a bit of a pesky Land Snark a few days earlier when I saw screenshots of the up until then title-less game being worked on by developer The Farm 51, it’s gone and made me cut a small slice of crow pie and heat it up for later tonight. Now, this doesn’t mean I’m giving this upcoming PC shooter a hook-less release at all. Those graffiti-covered walls do indeed look fantastic and all, and the premise and promise of solo and multiplayer action being intertwined is intriguing. Hopefully this can be pulled off and done up right so that I can start a review out with a “Finally, someone gets this FPS thing RIGHT.” or something similarly pompous-sounding. Oh wait, that would most likely require me to buy a new PC, as both the desktop and laptop I use are still rockin’ Windows XP (hey, my hundreds of older games LOVE it and my experiences with Windows 8 and 8.1 have been… how do you say, “eeeeennnnteresting”.

Eh, we’ll get to something more modern soon enough. This game’s still in the oven for a while yet and I’m gathering some hands-on time at a press event will help make me more of a decision maker. Of course, that’s usually a bad idea, me making decisions. Last week, I decided to print my own currency and no one would take any G-Bucks. Crap. That’s what I get for NOT deciding to invest in that Bitcoin deal some guy hit me over the head with out of the blue in a Starbucks. “It’s a SCAM!” I thought. “A fool and his money and all that rot” Yeah, a good hundred buck investment to a total stranger (friendly and chatty as he was) seemed like a REALLY lousy idea (He said, crying on his keyboard)… Ah well. Perhaps I’ll get lucky and find I have a skill people will pay real money to utilize… what-ever could that be, I imagine?

Random Film of the Week: HIT MAN

Posted on January 8, 2014 by geelw

While watching 1972’s HIT MAN on TCM last week and in between bouts of nearly falling off the couch laughing a few times at the unintentional comedy gold, it hit me that I’d see this film’s story elsewhere. Granted, you get what you pay for with most “blaxploitation” flicks in the form of a reworking of older (and often, superior) films, but there was something here under all the massive afros, copious nudity and violence that seemed pretty familiar.

That something happened to be Get Carter, the classic 1971 British gangster film from director Mike Hodges that was an early showcase for Michael Caine as well as a pretty darn great and mature killer of a movie. A year later, director George Armitage pretty much piled on the T&A, beefing up the sexy time and violence to racier American levels of shameless acceptability and the cast here does a pretty awesome job at making this one of those absolutely memorable (but yes, gloriously bad on so many levels) “B” flicks that’s going to have your head shaking and spinning simultaneously… Continue reading →