Random Film of the Week: Kind Hearts and Coronets

Kind Hearts and CoronetsDid Ealing Studios ever make a bad comedy? I’ve yet to see one, and the streak they were on brought some of the most memorable flicks to lucky audiences that are still great today. One of the best black comedies ever made and featuring Alec Guinness in an amazing eight roles, 1949’s Kind Hearts and Coronets is a truly classic film that’s still as effectively dryly hilarious and fun to watch as ever. If anyone tells you that movies with voice overs that spell things out are “bad” films, sit them down with this one and watch them choke on that thought as they die laughing.

The film manages to be great despite that running narration by its murderous lead character Louis Mazzini, the tenth Duke of Chalfont (Dennis Price) as he retells his family history and lays out how he’s dispatched the assorted surviving members of a wealthy family in a quest for revenge, a title and the affections of two ladies who drop in and out of his life. Granted, you’ll feel a lot more for Mazzini than you do for his victims in the D’Ascoyne family, most of whom seem somewhat deserving of their assorted fates…

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Random Art: OK, I Wasn’t THAT Lazy…

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Nyah. I actually did some art this weekend, so there! I was waiting for a bunch of downloads to complete and knocked out a few tree drawings in MS Paint. I guess that counts as “work” right? RIGHT? OK, so I don’t make a dime from my art these days, but hey… practice keeps my brain from folding itself up into a little box. Although, my poor wrist is kicking me in the shins from making that mouse do all those tricks (and the mouse isn’t paid either for it’s troubles. It’s wireless and that makes it tailless and you should be singing “Three Blind Mice” right about now…)

Noooo! The “Curse” of Creative Nonproductivity Strikes!

ccEeeeeeek! Murder!! Yeah, I HAD a bunch of stuff planned this weekend, but it all got turned DEAD by a bunch of unfortunate time killers. Yeah, I made the mistake of downloading a bunch of games and firing a few up, I got some more stuff in the mail to play (whee!) plus I stumbled across a film I hadn’t seen in a while. And yes, the next thing you know, a bunch of stuff I had on the plate was kidnapped and dispatched without remorse. Even worse… I’m OUT OF COFFEE CEREAL!!! Horrors!

Get me a detective and a time machine, dammit! A Sherlock Holmes meets Doctor Who kinda deal should work… I think. OK, anyway, let me salvage what I can and post at least ONE article that’s more than a silly apology. Off to mine some salt = back in a bit…

Random Film of the Week(end): Invasion of the Bee Girls

(Thanks, DST3K!) 

Invasion of the Bee Girls Was Invasion of the Bee Girls a modern feminist film disguised as a stupidly sexy 70’s exploitation flick? I’d say hell no, but for all its nudity and pervy middle-aged to old coots getting bedded and bumped off by a bevy of shapely babes with the power to kill any guy they mate with, there’s probably a message in there somewhere. I actually remember seeing this one as a kid one afternoon when it popped up on TV as a heavily edited (but still ridiculously racy) flick and it being a pretty hot topic at school the next day.

As I’ve “matured” and checked out the uncut version a few times since (hey, ONLY for research purposes!), it’s clear that all those hot and bothered guys (and a few gals) knew a while lot more about the birds and the bees that I did at that tender age…

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The Elder Scrolls Anthology: More Proof Physical Product Isn’t Dead Yet…

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BOOM. Nine game discs, five maps, hundreds (if not thousands) of hours of gameplay, a custom package to die for and something hard to hit the digital-only detractors upside their harder heads with, Bethesda Softworks upcoming must-buy The Elder Scrolls Anthology has officially and instantly made it to my Holiday Gift Guide 2013 list, gaming division. While it’s missing the LONG out of print standalone TES: Battlespire and Redguard side-story adventures (which I say NEED to get re-released one of these days), $80 for the entire main Tamriel saga (including expansions AND the Morrowind Construction Set!) is an absolute BARGAIN when you consider some of the games here are still a bit expensive when bought in either their original or Game of the Year formats as individual packaged products…

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Indie Gala Tempts Me Mightily With Bullet Hell and More…

Argh. Here I am, PERFECTLY pleased with only spending the barest amount possible last month by NOT buying a thing during that insane Steam sale (only to be lightly bludgeoned over the scalp by an unbeatable Bundle Stars deal) and now my inbox tells me Indie Gala is running a sale of almost equally epic deal proportions. Fie and a pox on you and all your digital houses. Granted, I totally stink at those Japanese arcade shmups with all those tiny bullets closing in on my poor cute character or spaceship, but they certainly get the adrenaline going when needed. That and a few of the other games look pretty neat. I may pass on trying out the train simulators, though. Not because they’re NOT good, mind you – I just know a few train fanatics who play some of these or other games and yeah, they LOVE them (a bit too much, perhaps… but it keeps them from trying to fondle moving freight cars as they slowly trundle past their favorite hangouts). OK, this time I’ll flip a coin and then decide what to do. Wish me luck and go buy this set of thirteen titles (which will be fourteen when that bonus unlocks on Steam) for yourself or as a gift for that gamer in your life…

Bundle Stars Superfly Indie Bundle Breaks My Sale-Ignoring Streak

Yeah, I managed to make it through the ENTIRE month of Steam’s summer sale without spending a damn dime, but I saw this pack of games at Bundle Stars about two weeks back and also ignored it mainly because I thought I had Disciples III: Renaissance already (bought in another Bundle Stars deal a few months back). Well, it turns out I actually had Disciples III: Resurrection from that older bundle. Oops! That and a few of the other games in this new deal were ones I’ve wanted to play but haven’t yet, so there goes my $4.93 off to charity (adjusted to $5.11 with the Paypal fees, boo! But hell, STILL an incredible deal) and I now have ten more games I’ll slowly but surely get to at some point.

Shakes fist at screen: Damn you Bundle Stars (and digital games in general)!!!

(digital eel’s Weird World: Return to Infinite Space looks pretty cool as well – another reason I bought this bundle!)

*Sigh* anyway, if these came in boxes, I’d HAVE to pass them up because I have no room for more physical product here in the home office. At this point, if I dedicated all my free time to going through my stupidly large lot of digital titles from all these bundles I’ll be playing my current digital backlog until 2018 at the earliest (and yes, I did the math for that)…

Doctor, Doctor… Give Me The News (In a LESS Contrived Manner Next Time)…

OK, I don’t like this live event announcing the new Doctor Who at all as it reminds me of that basketball special I didn’t watch because I’m not a sports fanatic (but couldn’t ignore because it was ALL some were babbling about for days before and afterward). Whatever happened to a simple surprise in the upcoming last season episode or a simpler press release or even better, a simple press conference that doesn’t require much in the way of expense or overblown wind up to a three-second reveal? Eh, whatever – I’ll be out and about tomorrow and not able to catch the special when it runs, but I bet it gets rerun later in the day on BBC America. I’ll be home around 6 or 7pm, so I’ll just tune in then. Or since I’ll be online all day, maybe I’ll just see all the comments and fan gushing all over facebook and twitter…

All that said, MAN, there are some awfully sexist fans out there! I’ve overheard a few conversations where there’s actual outrage expressed if the new Doc turns out to be a female. I say that would make for a super season that shakes things up quite a bit and if it happens, it’ll make the writing quite interesting. Anyway, we’ll see in less than 24 hours, right?

Dark Souls II Hands On: Home Again For the Hardcore…

As I noted earlier, if there was any doubt that From Software was making Dark Souls II “easier”, all one had to do was play the demo build that’s making the rounds (it was a huge hit at this year’s E3 as well as the more recent San Diego Comic-Con) to be shown the error of misreading that quote from one of the game’s directors a few months back. The game isn’t “easy” at all, but more accessible in terms of getting you into the action quicker, getting rid of backtracking yet upping the scale of the maps to an impressive degree. As to the demo, it’s brutal but beatable and although I didn’t make it to the gigantic knight boss, I did stick around for a bit to watch a few fellow editor types step up to the plate, swing and miss wildly, their chosen characters dying in a few not so pretty ways…

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Lost Planet 3 “Frozen to Death” Trailer: It’s Midsummer, So Half Frozen Will Do, Thanks…

Well, today is a bit chilly and rainy here in NYC, but you know what I mean. Actually, both Poles here on the real Earth could use some refreezing now, especially with Santa’s workshop now submerged and probably churning out flippers and scuba suits for all those elves. Don’t even bother asking for a new gaming system or something cool this holiday season, folks. Santa’s going all Oprah on everyone this year: “YOU get an aqualung, and YOU get an aqualung!”… oh, we’re SO doomed, ladies and gents. In the meantime, I’ll be up on the roof away from the flood waters waiting for my copy of Lost Planet 3 to be airdropped with some more supplies. Hey, business as usual here. Anyway, if you have some sort of app-getting device and/or a facebook account and like what you see above, go check out the Great Survivors app and see if you’ve got what it takes to stay warm when things get a wee bit too brain-freezy up on E.D.N. III