Let The Three Queens Make Your Monday Less Manic – They Do All The Work For You!

Posted on June 17, 2013 by geelw

It’s another Monday and just look at you. Sitting at that desk in that cubicle in that office in THAT building in that block on that street in that city in that zip code in that state (if applicable) in that country on that planet. Your coffee’s long gone cold and has the shape of a crazy upside down face formed from the artificially flavored creamer doing its chemical thing, your desk looks as if a small tornado fell out of your pockets or handbag and blew across it and your boss it taking the day off because he’s the boss and you’re not. Or he’s there and you were .29 seconds late and he’s giving you a look as if you drove up to his home, kicked his expensive dog as he was walking it that morning and then rolled in tardy because of it. Did I mention that your inbox just got 500 more messages you haven’t yet seen? Yeah, that’s a Monday, isn’t it? Well, cheer up.. or at least let the The Three Queens dance your foul mood into powder as you watch that video above and pretend they’re tap-tap-tapping away right next to your desk. Or on the head of your boss, if you’re one of those more stubborn people. If that’s the case, cheer up, I say. There’s not another Monday coming until next week…

E3 2013: The Walking Dead – 400 Days Trailer: Telltale Returns To More Gory Adventure Glory

Posted on June 16, 2013 by geelw

Last year’s release of Telltale Games’ superb adventure game, The Walking Dead showed that there’s more life to the adventure genre than some critics and jaded gamers thought. The episodic horror hit garnered a number of Game of the Year nods and awards from all over the map and for its compelling narrative and its multiple path-driven gameplay and despite some gore and violence (that served the story, mind you) it seems many people who weren’t into gaming per se wanted to play this for the plot. Anyway, the game did well enough that of course, a new set of downloadable stories on the way and based on this trailer (and the pile of “Best of Show” awards the game has gotten, The Walking Dead – 400 Days looks to be more of the same great and frightening descent into a world gone completely insane. The key in both the last series and this one is it’s less about the zombies and more about those still living affected by them and those who may or may not die based upon the player’s actions.

In an interesting move, developer Skybound Entertainment is giving players five stories in one DLC episode this time out and the game is also set to hit multiple platforms (PC, Mac, PlayStation 3, PlayStation Vita and Xbox Live Arcade), meaning more will be playing it at the same time if the release date for all of those systems lines up. All those positive press vibes will be great for the developer and publisher as well as fans of the comic and TV series who want more (and GOOD) licensed content that stays true to the source material. I’m already practicing my reflexes, as those conversation-based timed events and action scenes can indeed be as scary as the story making your spine rattle. Back with more on this one soon…

Random Film of the Week(end): Twitch of the Death Nerve/(A) Bay of Blood/Carnage

Posted on June 16, 2013 by geelw

Thanks, Attack From Planet B!

One problem some of us cranky genre fans have with most of today’s Hollywood horror movies is too many of them end up with ridiculous plots, under-written, one dimensional (as in terminally dumb), sometimes nude characters going through the same ridiculous motions that get them bumped off in even more ridiculous and bloody ways at intervals you can set your watch to most of the time. Not to mention stuff like some inane product placement that makes those parts of the film seem like ads dropped in between kills for stuff that would kill you if you consume too much of it.

Oddly enough, all this and more makes Mario Bava’s seminal gore classic Twitch of the Death Nerve (or (A) Bay of Blood, Carnage, or Blood Bath or one of many other titles it’s been released as) one of my favorite “B” horror films. Maybe it’s the blinders-on Bava fan in me that makes me like this one so much (some awesome shots aside, it’s far from his best work), or maybe it’s because the movie is actually kind of (alright, REALLY) funny in a very twisted way. The story is nuts with most of its assorted beautiful, handsome or unattractive characters motivated by their greed and/or assorted desires becoming random targets (and I mean random in some cases) of a killer (or killers) with their own agendas. By the end when the bodies are laid out all over the island, none of it makes any sense because the ending literally and figuratively blows away the remaining bits of the paper-thin plot.
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Late Night With Jimmy Fallon Gets All Post-E3 Geeky This Weeky…

Posted on June 16, 2013 by geelw

CONFESSION! OK, kitties, I don’t watch Late Night except for rare occasions when I’m flipping by or I hear Jimmy is doing something video game related. He’s a huge kid about gaming and you can definitely see that natural enthusiasm show when he gets all wide-eyed, grinny and spazzy like an eight year old on Xmas buzzed on sugar cookies and hot chocolate ripping open presents as he puts assorted titles through their paces in segments that practically guarantee nice sales of whatever he’s super-thrilled about. Of course, game publishers really LOVE the guy (even when he pokes fun at their products a bit) and I’m sure his millions of fans who aren’t into gaming see and mark down potential future holiday or otherday gifts for the gamers in their lives.

It actually WOULD be nice for me as a Noo Yawkuh to be able to go see thew show live this week instead of sitting on my butt at home, but hey – those tickets are hard to some by and even though I’m probably MORE of a gaming fool than Fallon, I’d still have to send in a request and hope away that I snag tix on a night he’s actually doing something game related. With my luck, he’ll have some overexposed “celebrity” or “reality” show boob on the night I get to go and I’ll have to restrain myself along with other audience members from throwing tomatoes and shoes… woosh, POW!!!

Anyway, and if you want to try and get on the show in video form at least, ring up your mom, get a console and a camera and you can earn some Internet immortality… below the jump, you must go. Press release for the show’s week of post-E3 gaming fun are there as well…

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Oopsdate: To e, or Not to e…

Posted on June 15, 2013 by geelw

Ha. It wouldth theem thuh key of ” ”
hath seem’th to work no longer
unleth I preth ith realllly hard
my louthy proth’s not thronger

(wait…why am I thyping with a lithp all of a thudden? *smack!!* Ow. OK)…

ANYWAY, Yaaah. My ” ” key is usted on this laptop unless I jam down on it, as I just found out when typing an email out. Yuk. I just need to remember to bang (aha! it works!) a little harder when I post. I just fixed one that escaped from my Suspiria review, so that sentence missing it actually makes sense (well, hopefully). Eh, I’ll pry up that key later and see if there’s something underneath.

E3 2013: Earth Defense Force 2025 Updated Gallery/Press Release

Posted on June 15, 2013 by geelw

Sure, you more jaded gamers drooling over every “next-gen” game until your eyeballs fall out of their sockets may be peeking at these EDF 2025 screens and rolling on the carpet laughing, but here’s a laugh back for you. This game will pack in more action, awesome gear and mindlessly addictive fun AND a planet-load of replay value that will make some of those other upcoming games cry. Especially the ones chopped up in bits of pay wall content that you CAN’T return at all because they’re digital-only “you buy it you’re stuck with it and even if you delete it it still shows up that you paid for it at one point ha-ha” content that even in a “trade” situation, only your little brother would touch it but his parental units won’t let him because it’s rated above his age. And besides, they won’t buy him that console anyway, no matter how much he wants it.

So yeah, EDF 2025 will pretty much rock. Thank you, D3Publisher and Sandlot! February is a long time away, though… oh well. Press release below the jump, not edited much as I’m busy…
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Random Film of the Week(end): Suspiria

Posted on June 15, 2013 by geelw

So, very early yesterday morning I’m sitting here going through digital piles of notes from all this E3 madness and working up some sort of schedule to get everything I need to get posted when I start thinking about Dario Argento’s brilliant 1977 horror classic, Suspiria for some reason. Well, it WAS dark outside (I think it was around 3am) and raining like a cloud full of cute but incontinent cats and dogs pissing from the skies, so that MAY have had something to do with it as well.

Anyway, where was I? (looks at post title) Oh yeah… Suspiria. Creepy name. heroine looks like a wide-eyed marionette. Mean old witches in classy clothes. One that snores like a malfunctioning tea kettle. Maggot infestation. LOTS of red in the art direction. Udo Keir is in it, but isn’t Dracula. Scary as hell if you’re in the proper mood. Intentionally and unintentionally funny in spots. That TV ad above used to scare the crap out of me. OK, enough with the off the top of the head stuff. Unless you count the evil that gets wiped out at the climax (allegedly), there’s nowhere near as high a body count when compared to today’s mega-slice fests. That said, the murders are pretty nasty, creatively executed and memorable enough to linger in the brain long after the credits have rolled… Continue reading →

Attention Bat-Fans: Believe it or Not! Mezco Toyz Wants You In NYC For Something Old, Something New

Posted on June 15, 2013 by geelw

Holy “I Get To See The Original Batmobile and Maybe Pass Out On Top of (Or Next To) It!, Batman!!” Mezco Toyz is lighting up the Bat-Signal and letting all you classic to current Batman fans know they’re going to be doing something really awesome in New York City on June 25, 2013. Check it out below and get in on the fun, I say.

The hilarious thing here is as a jaded and cynical Noo Yawkuh (for life! OK, I’ve left the city and traveled plenty of times), I’ve never been to that Believe it or Not museum and in fact, scoot through 42nd street as quickly as possible whenever I’m in the area. Those crowds can be a bit annoying is all I’m saying. Still, I guess it’s a far sight better than the old nastier 70’s and 80’s where you’d want to run like hell away for other reasons (I’m old enough to tell you some mighty freaky true tales)… However, the chance to see the Batmobile of my childhood (and it better not be made of wax, grrrr… oh, wait, that’s Madame Tussaud’s down the street – another place I avoid!)? Oh hell no, that’s not getting passed up one bit. “POW!” “BIFF!!”, “SOCK!!” Er, “SPLORCH???” Hmmm… er… maybe not a “SPLORCH???”… that just sounds too wrong. Anyway, yeah, SHOW UP and bring your camera and a drool cup. Wear a bike helmet or hardhat if you’re prone to passing out from sheer nostalgia (“THUDDD!”)

So, Um… Whatcha Doin’ This Weekend? Superman’s Free For Some Quality Time…

Posted on June 15, 2013 by geelw

Well, not “FREE” free (or is it FREE “free”?)… you’ll have to go dutch or whatever and buy a ticket to see him (or play illegal mall mega-plex tippy-toe, you cheap bastard) and sadly, it’s look but don’t touch once you meet up. That said, I think you’re guaranteed some exciting times, a few laughs and maybe some tears before the break-up just over two hours later. Hey, he’s Superman, folks – he has to move faster than you.

Anyway, go see Man of Steel if you haven’t yet – it’s pretty darn good.

E3 2013: Meanwhile, at Nintendo HQ…

Posted on June 14, 2013 by geelw

Ah, Nintendo. old and reliably entertaining and yes, safe in many ways much like this classic Abbott & Costello routine. Nintendo is a rather special case, as the company seems to weather storms of negativity with an eternally sunny outlook that overlook a few pressing problems. Granted, part of the company’s issues stem from a combination of few internal and external pressures. Impatient gamers not quite realizing the company puts out games when they think they’re ready and not because they’re demanded (which takes time the content-devouring masses of today don’t seem to have) and a lineup of mostly old favorites that get rolled out seemingly at random while others sit on the sidelines until there’s a dev team free to work on them. Methinks Samus Aram is getting a little too much arm fat hanging out with that lazy Ridley as they catch up on “B” movie marathons on really lazy weekends. And don’t get me started as to what Slippy is up to in his spare time…

As a gamey old fart who truly appreciates this more “hand-crafted” approach, I love most of the company’s classic games quite a lot, as do millions of other devoted fans of all ages. That said, like a mom making the same favorite meals like clockwork each week, a little spice is probably necessary once in a while to kick things up a notch and appeal to a wider palate. Nintendo may be “safe” and a “special case” in one respect, but the other half of that coin is they’re also like that cute three-legged puppy you’ve adopted where you’ll sometimes find yourself laughing at it as well as with it as it playfully scampers about the room…

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