EVIL DEAD “College Reaction Screening”: If THIS Is So Scary To Those Kids…

Posted on March 29, 2013 by geelw

… Oh, just they all WAIT until they have to start paying back those student loans. Mua-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa! Yeah, who’s REALLY peeing their pants NOW, huh? I bet some of your parents will be watching you scream in this video and wonder if that’s all the hell you did for four (or more) years. Damn kids. OK, maybe I’m jealous that I never get invited to these screenings like the over-privileged youth of to-day. Bleh. All kidding aside, I’m glad this reboot is freaking people out, as it makes me want to see it sooner than later. THAT said, I’ll probably stick it out for the Blu-Ray set with all those juicy behind the scenes bits, as I just hate leaving the theater thinking I’m missing something. Then again, a few pints of pee are never missed and I won’t need to bring a change of underwear to the theater. Or something like that. April 5, people. Go get in line somewhere and defend that spot with your lives. I have the feeling that if you don’t go see this movie… it will come looking for you.

Hmmm… Shouldn’t it be “College Screening Reaction”? That sounds more correct (and I never went to college!)

Game of Thrones Theme Song, Street Version: Spoony Bards Stay Out Of Harm’s Way. Maybe…

Posted on March 29, 2013 by geelw

So, you want to live longer in Winterfell? Pick up an instrument of the realm, learn it quickly, pick a house and learn their motto, then scribe up an appropriately drone-y ditty and have at it until you can play it pitch perfectly with a touch of flaw for authenticity’s sake. The army will leave you be unless they happen to stock the front lines with easily disposable musicians that can sponge a few dozen or more arrows each. Oops on you if you picked House Lannister to try out your musical talents in. Hmmm… maybe acting crazy and pretending you’re blind works better. Or at least it will until another house sees that as a more mystical talent they can take advantage of. Only two more days, folks…

Despicable Me 2 Toy Profile of the Week (6): Some New Grus to Grow on You…

Posted on March 29, 2013 by geelw

This week’s peek’s a big triple threat
All Grus to ogle (and for you to get).
Thinkway Toys is working quite hard
To make you work off that winter lard
By rushing to and from the store
(But for you that’s not some useless chore!)

The first Gru’s The Collector’s Edition
His cool features, they’ll have you wishin’
that your other flick figures moved so much
or responded to your very touch.

Gru number two’s the Talking Genius one
He’s packed with features that are quite fun
25 quotes, plus moving legs and arms
Are only a few of his smarty charms

The final Gru’s got an H20 Shooter,
that’s made to stop that Minion looter
(Well, if things work just as they should
and not if that water gun’s made of wood!)

All can be yours, and very soon
Just count the days ’til that weird moon
Or better yet, hit the stores in May,
and take home some great stuff for play!

Pictured above, three more Collectible figures from the upcoming Despicable Me 2 toy line: Age: 4+; Approximate retail pricing and details below the jump. All will be available starting in May at a retailer near you! Continue reading →

Deal of the Week! Bundle Stars Brings More Overkill to The Indie Game Bundling Scene…

Posted on March 29, 2013 by geelw

bundlestars_logo OK, you head looks too tightly attached to your neck today, so here’s an amazing offer to get it spinning really fast. Put on a hat and sit in a room with a low ceiling before reading further. All set? Good. FIRST: Go to the Bundle Stars Facebook Page NOW, “Like” the page, agree to that App TOS and *BOOM!* You get Dark Matter (a fun PC space shooter) for FREE. Download that, then boogie on over to the Bundle Stars site and prepare to keel over and thank me later. Got a measly five virtual dollars in an account somewhere? You can get a whopping TEN more PC games for that fiver (Yaaaaah! Your head just flew off your neck, right? Go get it back and sit down – I’ll wait) and that ten games includes some real winners and not much “filler”, especially if you’re a more open-minded gamer looking to shake up your library or try something new.

There are TWO different bundles to choose from – I prefer the variety in Bundle Five (which has seventeen days of availability to go) over Bundle Four (this one expires in three days) but hey, it may be the opposite for you or you over there on the right. You can indeed nab all those games for five bucks, pay less for two or more if you want more of your money to go to charity. Heck, you can even buy these as GIFTS for that picky gamer on your “I dunno what a gamer wants!” list and see what happens. Hopefully they have a Steam and/or Desura account (or you do if you’re getting these for yourself). Anyway, pay up and get to the downloading, installing and PLAYING part. You won’t come up for air for weeks, people will think you’re on vacation or something and you’ll be educating yourself about some fun titles you’d have otherwise avoided. Sound like a plan? Well, stop reading and get clicking, I say!

Primal Carnage: Genesis GDC 2013 Trailer: Unreal 4 Gets An Early Workout…

Posted on March 29, 2013 by geelw

PCGenesis_logo

I haven’t played Lukewarm Media’s cool-looking Primal Carnage on PC because it’s an online only multiplayer-focused game and I don’t play online games anymore (bad connection at home, lack of interest in running around shooting others in the face and dealing with immature and mature racist, homophobic and other online jerks, et cetera), so I actually skipped over this announcement until a fellow editor-type pointed me in the right direction by noting Primal Carnage: Genesis is a single player game with an actual story. Woo-oo! OK, I’m sold.

Granted, I first got a nasty Dino Crisis 4 vibe (sorry, Capcom!) from the sci-fi elements here, but I got over that quickly and now there’s a nice Dino Crisis 2 meets Dinosaur Hunting vibe reverberating my my pointy little head. Anyway, it looks as if I’ll be keeping another eyeball on one more really cool-looking new game, huh? Good thing I have a bag full of extra eyeballs in the freezer. Buy in bulk and SAVE, kids…

STAR TREK: The Video Game: Shatner’s Back! (In Not Quite the “Arena” Mode You Wanted)…

Posted on March 29, 2013 by geelw

So, who said Shatner wouldn’t be in a new Trek venture? Granted, being stuck in a hilarious trailer for the upcoming Digital Extremes-developed game headed to the PS3 and Xbox 360 (warping into retail on April 23) isn’t exactly the part he probably wanted, but it’s great to see him poke fun at his Kirk and that classic episode here. I have the feeling that Namco bandai Games just got a few extra sales for this one based on this funny ad alone. Hopefully, there will be some hands-on time for me at the press event next week, as I’m dying to see how this one’s turned out…

Humor(?) Another “Oh No You Didn’t” Cartoon…

Posted on March 29, 2013 by geelw

Yikes Yikes, indeed. Even “funnier” (or not, depending on your own sense of humor), the book Kermit is reading is titled (Eek..) “VASECTOMIES FOR DUMMIES”… Yikes. Yeah, try explaining THAT one to the kids (should they have access to a decent magnifying glass, as it’s hard to see in the published size). Ha, Ha, Ha. As a former Muppet Show fanatic, I should be more annoyed at this, but I think that’s a waste of my time. I have bigger fish to fry. And eat. Now I’m hungry and no longer mildly pissed off. Welcome to Short Attention Span Theater! Eh, I don’t think anyone will freak out about this much if at all, but I’m glad I’m not the one who drew this up. Cue the ghost of Jim Henson in a ratty Big Bird suit with a Candyman hook on one wing. Someone better sleep with one eye open, is all I’m saying…

Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut Random Screenshot of the Day: A History Lesson…

Posted on March 29, 2013 by geelw

Actually, Detective York is a wee bit off in his history, as steam-powered vehicles were around in the 17th and 18th centuries. It’s too bad that the technology never took off as it should have, as the world could probably use less fossil fuel consumption and smarter ways of just getting to the mall for a pint of milk. Of course, trying to cover the entire history of automobiles here is a bad idea, as this is supposed to be a more Greenvale-centric post and I’m sure their City Council doesn’t want me to ramble on about mechanical perambulation or the advent of steam when there are more interesting ways to get tourist dollars out their way. And, wait… just which King George is he referring to anyway? There were a whole bunch of them from a few different countries throughout world history, you know.

Oh, wait a minute… Ah ha ha. My mistake, folks. The detective was being a bit sarcastic and tossing a good one out about Sheriff George Woodman who it turns out isn’t the nicest cop in the neighborhood. Oops. Well, at least I found that out before I had to go poking around Wackypedia for “facts” about cars written by contributors that don’t even know how to drive. Say, did you know that despite needing to drive a few places in the game, YOU don’t need to know how to drive when you’re playing Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut, coming April 30, 2013 exclusively for the PlayStation 3. Featuring upgraded visuals, PlayStation 3 and 3D TV support, trophies and more, this is one vacation you’ll not soon forget. Unlike that information that would have helped you pass that history class you flunked in high school.

OK, so ~~King~~ Sheriff George is a bit of a jerk with his stupid hat and bad attitude (you’d think he’d be a BIT more cooperative what with a mad, possibly supernatural killer on the loose in his town) but thankfully, Sheriff Swery is in the office on those days George is off and he’s a MUCH nicer guy to deal with. When you’re in the area, make sure to drop by and say hello. Hey, you may even get a free cup of coffee from the A&G Diner out of that greeting – and free is always good. Especially when combined with coffee…

WIN FREE STUFF! Or: Cobra Command (& mimoco) STILL Wants YOU!

Posted on March 29, 2013 by geelw

COBRAAAAA! OK, SIDE CHOSEN! Now that I’ve teamed up mimoco to go completely EEEEEVIL… I’m being nice and giving something cool away. Er, that’s HOW it’s supposed to be! Long live COBRA! Anyway, here’s the deal: I have ONE of these awesome Cobra Commander MIMOBOT USB Drives to send ONE lucky (and EVIL!) reader, so you need to be really creative and sneaky to get this excellent goodie. How creative and sneaky? Well, actually tracking down the other followers of this site and arranging for their untimely demises is a bit too extreme (and HEY, silly evil person – I need MORE readers, not LESS, grrr!), but I’m sure you can some up with something that will surprise everyone. As some inspiration (sort of), here’s some Cobra Commander fun from G.I. Joe: Retaliation:

(BIG, FAT Hint: NOT wasting time sewing up a fancy costume or putting on makeup to make that “winning” video when simply being a follower of the site, hitting the Leave A Reply button and posting that you’re interested works extremely well and in FACT, will actually surprise everyone expecting a more elaborate means of entry!) Anyway, I’ll RANDOMLY select one winning post, contact you via email for your mailing address, which MUST BE IN THE U.S. of A. grrr! (Seriously, though) and ship your prize out next week. The Cobra Commander MIMOBOT features 8GB of storage and comes packed with loads of classic G.I. Joe stuff (comics, videos, wallpapers and MORE). You’ll also get a $10 emusic card you can redeem (that’s up to 20 songs, kids) at the emusic shop and two mimoco stickers you can put anywhere you like (not the cat or dog, though!). And hey, if you don’t win, you can always poke around the mimoco site and BUY something. They may now be EEEEVIL, but that’s hard work and they deserve to take your money in exchange for quality fun stuff you won’t find elsewhere!

Long and boring official rules below the jump… Continue reading →