99 Levels to Hell Trailer: Every Day, and With a Cup of Coffee in My Hand…

Hey, now! That’s EXACTLY what I USED to say when I woke up most mornings, but thanks to gog.com, I need to change my favorite saying to something else. Gee, thanks guys! It took long enough to think it up (something like 666 levels!), but oh well. Anyway, the game looks pretty cool and yeah, I do wonder that happens after that 99th level? Elvis? The Pope? A Diet Kook factory? Hmmm… maybe I should drop a few bucks on this and find the hell out? Well, once I get this pile of other work done, I most likely will take a trip to hell. As seen in the trailer, it’s got shops and casinos, so it can’t be ALL bad, right? Hmmm…

Sniper Elite Nazi Zombie Army Teaser: A Little Atmosphere Before You’re Out of Air…

 

Oh, Rebellion… you sneaky, sneaky little baw-stawds. Tease and tempt us with these bits and pieces of nice-looking in-engine footage while hiding the hordes of scary undead Nazi scum you want us to ventilate before they take over that war-torn Berlin. Too short, guys, TOO short. Ah well, PC gamers get this on the 28th, so I’m sure many will be pleased and playing half under a blanket. That said, I do want this to come to consoles at some point as either a stand alone game or on a disc (preferably with the original Sniper Elite V2 as a bonus at a nice price point). As always, we shall see…

MUD FIM Motocross World Championship Slides Into Stores (It’s Time to Get Dirty!)

 

To wit: Are you ready for plenty of hardcore up in the air and down in the dirt action as you whip it around the track? Well, Namco Bandai Games has done the deed and gotten Milestone’s moto racer into retail and digital on the PS3, Vita, Xbox 360 and PC in North and Latin America, so give it a shot and if it feels right, do it all night. Er, just watch out for blisters on those sensitive thumbs of yours. Hmmm… it’s a good thing I don’t do this site in any foreign languages or Braille, as I’d imaging having a hell of a time explaining half the stuff I write. Hey, it’s not as if I try to offend anyone here – it’s just that I’m good at it (everyone needs a hobby, right?). Er, anyway, if you DO decide to grab this and slide around for a bit in front of your TV or monitor, below are a few helpful tips from pro rider Ryan Villopoto for you to take into consideration. Of course, you can go in cold to this arcade/sim racer, but I’ll bet you could use a little guidance every so often. Five impossible things before breakfast and all that, you know…

 

Game of Thrones Season 3 Recap Trailer: Paying Attention Makes You Wiser (Proof Below)

 

Let’s see how the human brain works, kids! “Duh… Wait, how can you have a recap show if the season hasn’t started yet?” Oh, wait… “Duh, OK, I get it!” (did you hear the wheels turning REALLY slowly, class?)… Memo to self: don’t post a video and comment until AFTER you watch it (Brain: “But where’s the fun in that? I want to be JUST like every other Internet troll with a grudge and too much time on their hands!”) Or something like that. Yes, it’s been a very long day (but not long enough, as I still have a ton of stuff to write about). Um… consider this a commercial break, folks. That I don’t make a dime from, by the way. Hey, I’d kill to be ON Game of Thrones, but with my luck, my character wouldn’t last an eighth of an episode before getting an arrow to the ass. That and I don’t think Winterfell needs a traveling bard type with a brain full of bad puns and worse jokes popping up anytime soon…

The Last of Us Story Trailers: The World Ends With (or Without) You…

 

TLOS_standard coverTo some folks out there, Naughty Dog’s upcoming PS3 exclusive begs the question “Do we really need a new console?” To which Sony, industry analysts and plenty of other folks will say “well, mmmmaayyyybe…” While they’re spinning and scratching like an old LP being tickled by an epileptic DJ, I say sure, why not. Now to go rob a bank so I can pre-order one before the mad early adopter crush of crazed “gotta have it yesterday!” superfans and “Ooh, Im’a make a fortune on eBay” losers grab every available system for three months. As to the game proper (which arrives on June 14, 2013), it does look mighty spectacular for this late in the PS3’s lifespan, but you’re looking at work from one of Sony’s not-so secret weapon first-party studios…

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Lego Batman 2: DC Super Heroes Set To “Rescue” Wii U This Spring…

LB2 WiiU 2D 0a Not that Nintendo’s recently released system “needs” rescuing (nope, not at all, folks – it just needs a few less paid industry skeptics and doomsayers, many of which are or seem to be people who’ve yet to touch a controller). Anyway, TT Games’ best work to date was last years super-smash of epic proportions and it’s finally headed to the Wii U with the same stellar visuals and tight, fun (and funny) family-friendly gameplay intact.

I want this for the GamePad playability and the chance to show it off to folks who haven’t seen it yet on the console as a potential system seller. Given the success of the other versions, this one seems to be a total no-brainer purchase for any Wii U owner looking for a fun (and lengthy) chunk of high quality (and laugh-packed) action with style to spare. I’ll run a gallery if for you guys and gals to ogle if and when WB shoots me over some screens…

God of War Ascension: Sony Bets There’s a Three Way In Your Future…

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No, no… not THAT type of three way (and you’ll only get that joke anyway if you’ve played the other games in the series) As in, there are three ways to get the game, you perverts (get those eyebrows at least ABOVE the gutter. This is a family show!). As the latest trailer just dropped earlier today and interest in the game is soaring thanks to some of the other footage from this upcoming action epic, this could indeed be the best game in the franchise to date. That said, methinks it’s time for Kratos to either call it a day after this game or go the open-world RPG route, as I personally feel he’s too confined to linear pathways and puzzles when he needs to bust through those invisible walls, QTE’s and cinematic camera angles and get into doing what he does best (which is whatever the hell he wants to, usually). We shall see, I suppose, but I think the big lug NEEDS the space to breathe and Sony Santa Monica can help him out quite nicely indeed while expanding upon the multiplayer mode they’ve cooked up.

Toy Fair 2013: Peavey Gets DC Ready to Rock With Themed Guitars & More…

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Yeah, you know you want one (or all of these) even if you’re lousy at playing the guitar. Peavey Electronics and Warner Bros. Consumer Products are rolling out a cool line of DC Comics superhero-themed guitars and accessories starting this summer with a half-size Peavey acoustic guitar featuring a number of popular DC Comics Super Heroes, followed by a three-quarter size Peavey electric guitar and a full-size Peavey Rockmaster® electric guitar. Peavey will also release guitar picks and straps featuring DC Comics Super Heroes and villains such as Aquaman and The Joker (pictured below), as well as Watchmen and other fan favorites. Hmmm… even though it’s in “fat chance” territory, I think a Swamp Thing guitar would be a pretty wild addition to this lineup. Anyway, here’s a look at three cool electrics from the upcoming lineup – flip a coin like Two-Face or buy them all (like you knew you were going to as soon as you clicked on each image).

Peavey DC Comics Superman Rockmaster Peavey DC Comics Batman Rockmaster Peavey DC Comics Joker Rockmaster

Hmmmm.. given The Joker’s tendencies for oddball gags at inopportune moments, I have to wonder if that Rockmaster is loaded with a little something extra you’ll only discover by playing notes in a certain order? Well, there’s one way to find out – as in buy this for a friend and see what happens when he or she plays it… Just make sure you’re oh, about 30 feet away have have a good umbrella handy…

Review: Driftmoon

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driftmoon_boxshot2Platform: PC

Developer: Instant Kingdom (Ville/Anne Mönkkönen)

Publisher: Instant Kingdom

# of Players: 1

ESRB Rating: N/A

Official Site

Score: A (95%)

Do you own a decent cap or hat, dear reader? If you do, go get it now, put it on and tip that cap or hat in the general direction of Finland (Jyväskylä, to be a bit more precise). If you don’t have a good cap or hat, what’s wrong with you? It’s cold outside! Anyway, what’s with all the polite haberdashery tilting? Well, dear reader, it’s a hats off to Ville and Anne Mönkkönen for the seven years of work that went into one of the best games of this year. Driftmoon is an instant classic you’ll want to dive into and explore at your own pace just to experience great game design in action. Solid writing, great visuals and the excellent hybrid adventure/RPG/puzzle gameplay make a visit to Driftmoon well worth the price. As great as the game is, the included easy to use editor gives this one endless possibilities for users to craft their own potential classics…

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