BioShock Infinite “Lamb of Columbia” Trailer: That’s Certainly NOT Mint Jelly!

 

Customer: “See, I was right! Next time I’m sticking with the Cobb Salad!”

Waiter: Actually, I hear the game is going (or has gone) gold, which means no changing your order, sir.

Customer: (ah, the cranky waitstaff and the “no substitutions” rule!) “What? But I’m the customer and the customer is ALWAYS right! SO, get me that salad, make it a SMALL one… and a burger, really well done so it tastes like a hot shoe heel, and a Diet Kook!”

Waiter (rolls eyes and sighs, points at big red letters stating NO SUBSTITUTIONS on menu cover): This isn’t your local fast food place, sir… Chef Levine and his staff at Irrational Games have cooked up a dish they KNOW you’ll love and as everything on the menu is a Chef’s Choice, you’re getting what he gives you and it’s ALL good.

Customer: “Blaaaaaaah!, I’m not paying for something that’s not what I want!!!”

(and so forth and so on…kinda sorta based on a true incident I overheard a few years back)

Anyway, let those two have at it all day in your head if you wish. Me, I’m staring at that space in the library I’ve made for BioShock Infinite when it’s finally released on March 26, 2013.

Crysis 3 “Sharp Dressed Man” TV Spot: A Little Fun Before The Bodies Start Dropping…

 

Amusingly enough, I actually had to explain to a non-gaming friend that this wasn’t some sort of cheesy 90’s action flick/comedy game after he kept seeing this goofy ad over the past week or so. I didn’t catch it until about three or four days back and it made me laugh because of the choice of ZZ Top’s classic 80’s tune more than the silly macho posturing going on (I was expecting something more serious like Ubisoft’s Far Cry 3 TV ads), but it’s all in good fun. I got to play a bit of the PC version last week at EA’s spring press event and it’s absolutely gorgeous and definitely Crytek’s best work to date (at least as far as the visuals go). As for the rest of the game, I’ll need to play through it at some point and see what’s what. I liked the second one (and never played the original outside of a demo and about two hours of the final version), so I’m probably going to have fun with this sequel as well.

Hmmm… I wonder if the ad agency that cooked this up is going to hit up more of ZZ Top’s back catalog for the inevitable DLC? I can think of a few other tunes they did that might fit, but I don’t want Crytek to get the idea that they’re better comedians than they are a games developer…

GRID 2 PC Hands-On: Codemasters Is Hitting The Road With a Superior Sequel

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The team at Codemasters has been hard at work making GRID 2 into their best racing game to date and it shows. I’ve been a longtime fan of their racers from the goofy fun of their many Micro Machines games on the Sega Genesis and Mega Drive to the TOCA and Colin McRae Rally and DiRT games, and also love their F1 stuff, so getting to play a bit of this new game was more than a pleasure. It was the PC version up and running on some high-end Intel laptops, but console fans needn’t worry about their versions suffering, as the newly beefed up Ego engine is extremely flexible across multiple platforms. Unlike certain other popular (and great) racers, this isn’t about amassing a gigantic car collection, open-world exploration at one’s own pace or racing for big bucks. The focus and theme of “Be Fast, Be First and Be Famous” along with the interesting use of the ESPN license and assorted in-game “social” features combined with the intense speed and handling should make this a game that’s going to get quite a bit of play when it finally rolls into stores.

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BioShock Infinite Columbia/Icarus Trailer 2: The Mystery Deepens (With Candy!)

  

Liz_Card_2013Who says Irrational Games doesn’t love you? You get a Valentine’s Day card (belatedly, as I just got around to checking my other inbox, oops!) with your new Columbia video! Anyway, BioShock Infinite is hopefully going to be one of those games where the long dev cycle and loads of pre-release hype make it worth the wait. Hmmm. in looking at that card again closely, I’m not sure I’d want to eat any of those chocolates, especially if they had squishy liquid centers. If Elizabeth has found a way to miniaturize the game’s deadly enemies and dip them in yummy milk chocolate, That might not be a cherry cordial you’re chomping… Ewww..

Well, ladies first, I say…

System Shock 2 (Finally) Available on GOG.com. You SHOULD Buy It. Now.

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Well, provided you own a PC and not a Mac that is, as the game is only compatible with Windows XP, 7 and 8. Anyway, this one’s a true classic, it’s frequently scary as hell and has some fine writing to boot. I still have my original disc version in the collection, but it’s a hell of a pain in the neck to get running from the discs, so this one’s a no brainer purchase. grab this while it’s on sale for ten bucks, turn out the lights and get ready to immerse yourself into one of the best games you’ll ever play, period.

Sniper Elite: Nazi Zombie Army: February 28 Is Now D-Day For The Undead…

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Three words used together that will either make you laugh like a lunatic, run screaming for the hills (or dive under the couch) or let out an “Oh Yeah!” are Nazi Zombie Army and it seems that developer Rebellion has not only figured this out, they’ve cooked up a new standalone co-op themed Sniper Elite V2 expansion for PC that’s coming out at the end of the month. I like the story idea the guys thought up, as tossing together four soldiers from a few sides of the conflict who’d probably be trying to kill each other and having them work together after things get a wee bit too supernatural thanks to a certain infamous would be great dictator and his final push to win the war in Europe.

Check out the rather gory trailer if you dare here, boogie on over to Steam to pre-order it for $14.99 and if you’re a PS3, 360 or Wii U owner, hope this comes out on consoles at some point at a similar budget price point. Yeah, it’s not for everyone, but i can’t think of too many folks who actually like Nazis or Zombies, especially in armies coming at you with intent to chomp on your brains. Don’t blame those bath salts, either…

Star Trek: The Game “Salvation” Trailer: Kirk & Spock, In Trouble (Again)…

  

Star_Trek_PS3OK, so Namco Bandai has re-posted the Gamescom trailer from last year, but that’s fine with me, as that probably means the game is close to completion and this is a gentle reminder of what’s on the way for Trek fans. Yeah, yeah, I was going to use the word “Tribble” in place of “Trouble” in that title, but I didn’t want to get your hopes up (or down, depending on how you feel about that original series episode). That and I didn’t want Namco Bandai chasing me around the galaxy like Khan if he survived his Ahab style demise, got rescued by the Doomsday Machine and is riding on the back on a tiny space saddle. At this point, I’m either making your head spin or I’m putting you to sleep, so I’ll shut up and let you watch that trailer in peace. There’s definitely a lot more stuff blowing up here, so the game seems as if it’s going to be closer to the new movie (and yes, appeal to that core gamer crowd who wants less talk in their games). We’ll see if that adds up to an overall worthy experience soon enough. Veteran developer Digital Extremes has been to this rodeo previously and knows their way around a decent action game, so let’s hope this is their best work to date…

The Walking Dead Survival Instinct Gameplay Trailer: TR & Activision Get Stalked By Biters (Again)…

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Man, this game is swimming in such irate bile by the usual suspects. Here’s the trailer to check out – I think it looks fine so far and close to the bleak, grimy tone of the show. That said, a few facts for the intentionally ignorant:

Activision isn’t “making” the game at all – they’re a PUBLISHER, not a DEVELOPER. Lewisville, Texas-based veteran developer Terminal Reality is cooking this one up and yes, while they haven’t had a “perfect” track record, they’ve more than earned the respect of folks like me who play too many games, but don’t lump them all up into one big FPS-centric ball. I also like how it ties into the show, as new we all know that Merle and Daryl are back together in this half of the season (a nice touch that seems planned to fit the game into the show’s continuity). I hate speculation, but I’d bet a nickel that neither character buys the farm at the end, as they’ll be more useful alive for future episodes, we’ve already “lost” Merle once before and hell, there would be riots in the streets if Daryl bought it at the end (especially among non-gamers out there who’d be wondering what was up and how a major character vanished without them knowing a thing).

Telltale’s TWD game was fantastic thanks to its writing, stylized visuals and intense pacing thanks to the choice system gameplay, but wasn’t the big action-based experience some of the shooter fanatics wanted to play. This new game will appeal to them and as long as the story is tight, I can see fans of the adventure game hopping aboard for the ride. Let’s hope it’s a wild one full of surprises. And hey, look at  this way, chums – if the game is better than you’re thinking, once you do get to try it out, you can still storm Activision’s offices (with apologies and yummy crow pies for all)…

GRID 2 Teaser: There’s a Lot More Where That Came From…

 
 

Oh, Codemasters, you big fat tease! OK, maybe not so big (or fat) after all. I saw and played a nice demo of the upcoming racing game last week in NYC, but my actual hands-on coverage is embargoed until 2/14 so I can’t lay a peep on you about all the new and fun stuff I saw. I think I can get away with telling you the game looks amazing, but that’s it until after Toy Fair is over, kids. Now If you’ll pardon me, I need to figure out how to weld a blowtorch to a shovel so I can get out the damned door on Sunday morning. My hour train ride is probably going to be a wee bit longer. Stupid blizzard…

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt: Geralt’s Final Tale Goes Open World

 

 

Witcher3LOGOCD Projekt RED is indeed currently making the final game in The Witcher series (well, the last Geralt of Riva story, as least), but they’re going out at the top of their game by releasing The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt on high-end PC’s and consoles (which most likely means whatever new is coming from Microsoft and Sony, not current generation hardware). For those new to the series, the developer is also offering the chance to pick up the first two games at an incredible value. There’s a 72-hour sale on The Witcher and The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings – Enhanced Edition for PC on gog.com (both games) and Steam (The Witcher 2: AoKEE) right now and if you happen to be a console owner, the fantastic Xbox 360 version of The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings – Enhanced Edition has been permanently price-dropped to must-buy price points worldwide (USD/EUR 29.99 USD/EUR or GBP 19,99). If you’re looking for a dark, truly mature and thrilling RPG experience, these come VERY highly recommended (provided you have the hardware to run the games on).