Sorry, 20th Century Fox. Your Throwback Tease Was Too Rich For My Blood…

beyond_the_valley_of_the_dolls_xlgSo, I get an email on Thursday from 20th Century Fox’s YouTube channel about Beyond the Valley of the Dolls and it gets me grinning because I’d been thinking of picking this up at some point and thought this was news of a lower-priced reissue. HA! I clicked that link under the trailer and got sent straight to Amazon, where the movie’s 2-disc DVD set is still commanding a whopping $70 (eek!). Um, thanks, but no thanks, folks.

Hell, at that exorbitant price point, I’ll just lurk around TCM and wait for them to show it again one late, late evening (or too early in the morning, actually). Of course, getting any Russ Mayer flick for under the cost of a body part is tricky these days if you live in the US and want a legal version. But man, owning them all must sure be a heck of a thing if you display your collection proudly and have to explain the man’s work to friends and relatives who’ve never seen anything he’s done. Good luck with that!

Funko’s Hikari Friday 7: Double Special Turtles Giveaway FTW!

Hikari logo 

This week’s Funko Hikari Sofubi Vinyl figure giveaway is once again geared towards Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fans and this time, it’s pair of even cooler vinyls they’re giving away, ONE each to TWO lucky winners. Check them out:

Limited Edition Clear Leonardo Hikari Sofubi Figure (#1 of 3000!):
Limited Edition Clear Leonardo Hikari Sofubi Figure 

Barnes & Noble Exclusive Pizza Power Michelangelo Hikari Sofubi Figure (#1 of 600!):
Barnes & Noble Exclusive Pizza Power Michelangelo Hikari Sofubi Figure 

At this point, you know how to enter for a chance to score one of these, correct? NO?! Okay, one more time (well, until next week when I let you know again). Just click on over to one of Funko’s social channels:

www.facebook.com/OriginalFunko
www.twitter.com/OriginalFunko
Instagram @OriginalFunko

Enter and keep those digits crossed! Winners are announced ever Thursday (not that along a wait, right?). Good Luck and if you don’t win, pop back in next week for a new Funko Hikari giveaway!

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For Trailer #3: Come Meet The Folks! Or Else They’ll Come Meet YOU…

 
Nice. I’m out of time today at the library as it rushes to close, but enjoy – back to edit in some humor later tonight… or not. Hey, this film will sell itself, so it really doesn’t need me making any dumb jokes at its expense, right? Well, I’m typing this NOW because there’s a big ugly guy with a VERY bandaged face pointing a VERY big fist at my head and I don’t want to get punched in the head by that VERY big fist because I need my brain unscrambled to write this post and others. Heh. Okay Marv, happy now? Good.

Random Film of the Week(end): Not With My Wife, You Don’t!

(thanks, Night of the Trailers!)

Not With My Wife You Don't MPYikes. Depending on your tastes, Norman’s Panama’s 1966 Sex comedy Not With My Wife, You Don’t! is going to be a very funny film or one you can’t stand. That’s because this sort of humor is SO dated that some will consider the film extremely sexist to a fault (it is) while others who can slip into the mood of the era comfortably will find it a rollicking good time with a nice all-star cast, some lovely Technicolor photography and a fun Saul Bass title sequence that’s one of his quirkiest (see below).

Me, I kind of straddled the fence before falling into the latter yard. While it has its moments and yes, some wonderful shots of Air Force jets in action that make it a must see, the film hasn’t aged well at all as it flops and flails about in too many attempts to be a slapstick comedy while tossing around its questionable content with the hope it always lands on its feet…

(thanks Movie Titles!)

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Guardians of the Galaxy TV Spot 1: Call In The Criminals!

 
And so it begins, the deluge of TV spots for this most eagerly awaited of all the recent Marvel movies. If this one fails to do well (although all signs point to it doing very well indeed), there goes the sort of “indie” pillar Marvel was looking for in getting more than just superhero fans to embrace their new and improved lineup of upcoming film, TV and online projects. My money’s on this being a surprise hit, but in looking over the other properties, there are a few weak links that aren’t assured to be major hits thanks to a few things such as digital distribution not being something everyone wants or can access when they want where they want when it comes to getting those new shows. Granted, the success of other shows being binge-watched by too many people is a huge draw for anyone who wants to produce content that they feel will be snapped up by the eager masses who want it. On the other hand, alienating that part of the audience that’s not willing or able to buy in is never a good thing as no one likes to be told “You can’t have it!” when they indeed, WANT it. But I’m getting ahead of myself here (as always)…

The Green Inferno: Eli Roth Lets The “Save The Planet” Crowd Have Both Barrels…

green_inferno_xlgSo, what’s up in the jungle, Jim? Not much but lots of death and leftovers! Anyway, here’s the plot of this upcoming horror flick, suitable for no one under the age of slashenteen without a cast iron stomach:

A group of college students take their humanitarian protest from New York to the Amazon jungle only to get kidnapped by the native tribe they came to save. A tribe that still practices the ancient tribal rite of cannibalism, with a healthy appetite for intruders.

(thanks, Movieclips Trailers!) 
Well, there goes my plans to visit even the nearest sunny park around here at this point. Guaranteed to cause all sorts of outrage when it’s released (mostly among people who won’t see it under any circumstances, I’d bet), The Green Inferno is a throwback to the gory glory days of exploitation horror films and nope, I’m not planning on seeing this in a theater at all.

If I do decide to commit to this flick and it’s NOT a media screening with relatively normal people in attendance squealing and hiding under the seats, it’ll be in the comfort of my own home where I can shut it off and find something else to do if I’m feeling queasy. I’m gathering the home video and/or cable versions will have more footage and on disc, I’d hope there’s a nice behind the scenes documentary that gets into how this was made. I didn’t make it through Cannibal Holocaust (this film’s inspiration) in one sitting, but I think I can handle this… I think… (cue creepy music that gets me wanting to go watch a Caillou box set instead on a permanent loop)…

Jodorowsky’s Dune Coming to Blu-Ray/DVD July 8. BUY IT.

Jodorowsky's DUNE BDVD 

 
Predictions: this one will get a nomination for Best Documentary at next year’s Academy Awards for sure, but will probably lose to something more dramatic and real-world fixated. Anyway, if you’re a creative sort, Jodorowsky’s Dune will expand your mind significantly even as the project as intended ends up not getting filmed in the end. If you happen to love behind the scenes dirt, this film is packed with it (and MAN, is some of it of the VERY bizarre variety). Still, I wonder how the sci-fi film landscape would have changed had this been shot and completed as intended. It would have certainly been one of the more expensive films ever created at that time, but as we all know, money tossed down a well doesn’t guarantee all the wishes dumped in afterwards will come true. Anyway, grab this one in July, invite some friends over and make it a movie day, as I’m betting any special features included will be as compelling as the documentary or even more so…

Let’s Get Snoop-id With The Sneaking Around: The Snoopathon Is Here!

snoopathon-blogathon-of-spies-negriWhee! Super spies, evil guys (and gals) and perhaps some long trench coats and fog await you, dear reader over at Movies, Silently and a few other blogs over the next three days. Pop on over there and like a hero in a good spy mystery, you may find yourself rendered unconscious and wake up somehow back here reading not one, but TWO posts about secrety angenty stuff. I won’t say which flicks get the treatment here, but I bet you’ll wake up tomorrow and forget ALLLLL about what you saw. Um… Wait, that’s NOT a good thing! Hmmm… I should have diluted that formula a little more, huh? Oh well, as long as you click and read, I’m happy! Mua-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaa…

Sad Saturday? Miz Miller Says “Oh No You Don’t!”

Yeah, you were about to drown your sorrows in a pint of ice cream or booze, huh? I know that feeling, kid… but sometimes you just need a lift out of that Dumpster you’ve fallen into (by accident or on purpose). Ann Miller (as Nadine Gale in the classic 1948 musical Easter Parade) will get you back on track and happier or at least tapping and snapping to the beat. So, put down that vice and pick up another one, grab that sweetie or pet of a tall lamp and get it shakin’, you. Tomorrow will be a better day once you get your groove on and some of those kinks out.

You’re welcome, by the way.

LUCY Poster Gets Me Thinking Of Much Funnier Memories From The Past…

lucy_xlg 
Hmmmmmm. I’m sorry, but I laughed out loud when I saw the name to Luc Besson’s new film about a sexy gal (Scarlett Johansson) who gains superhuman powers after she accidentally ingests some of the drugs she’s forced to smuggle. Not because I don’t think Mr. B and Ms. J can pull it off more than ably and not because it’s one more Besson action flick about a killer lady doing her stuff kicking all sorts of butt and getting into serious trouble in fancy locations. Nope, those well-aged tropes make me smile and nod. It’s the title, ladies and gents. Why? Because I think of Lucille Ball making a 20-foot loaf of bread, stuffing chocolates in her mouth on that assembly line, stomping grapes versus a real grape stomper and getting into other mischief that requires “splain”-ing to her harried hubby. Of course, when I get around to actually seeing the trailer, I’ll be expecting a laugh track and a orchestral/bongo back beat. Oh, wait… it was already dropped onto YouTube in April? D’oooooh! (Goes to microwave some popcorn, microwave is busted. *Crap!* Runs out to buy bad of equally nasty cold bagged popcorn… Seven minutes, thirty eight seconds later)…

(thanks, Movieclips Trailers!)

“Luc-yyyyyyyy? I’m hooooooome” (Hee-hee…)