15 Minutes of Shame: Bad Art and The Tail-Grabbing Tiger (Part One)…

Posted on July 8, 2013 by geelw

Every once in a while, I get to thinking that parts of my boring life would make an interesting book, but thankfully, I haven’t done a damn thing about that. Sure, I’ve had adventures in babysitting, silenced a few lambs (hey, they were bugging me!) and maybe even raided a lost ark here and there, but in general, I really have no shocking stories of drug-fueled hotel trashing (well, there’s ONE story, but it wasn’t drugs, wasn’t in a hotel room and guess who had to clean up afterwards AND go to work the next day?), scandalous encounters with ladies of the opposite sex or anything like that. However, I have had some really bizarre jobs that kind of fit what I’m doing here on this blog-o, so hell, I may as well tell this long, dull story before I go and decide to forget the damn thing happened…

That clip above is from a 1968 Spanish horror film called La Marca del Hombre Lobo (Mark of the Wolfman)*, known outside of Spain as Hell’s Creatures: Dracula and the Werewolf, The Nights of Satan and Frankenstein’s Bloody Terror. I believe the latter title was exclusive to the US version of the film and note if you please that it’s the only title that mentions Frankenstein. Unfortunately, there’s not a Frankenstein to be found in the film… at least not in the original version. Apparently, the US producer had some legal issues with a different Frankenstein film he was trying to distribute, but snapped up this import and had an oddball animated sequence added in that combined the Frankenstein and Wolfman myths and brought the world… WOLFSTEIN!

Yeah, it’s about as silly as it sounds (and once again, I’ll need to do a Random Film of the Week on this one, as it’s got some interesting stuff going for it), but that’s not what were here to talk about. Anyway, back in 1981, 3D films were making a comeback and in addition to new movies coming from assorted major and independent studios, plenty of older 3D films were pegged for a second shot at potential box office success. If you’re read that link above, you’ve most likely guessed that a certain monster flick just so happened to have a 3D print floating around that, while not in the best quality, would probably be good enough to cash in on the revived craze for the gimmick before its shelf life expired. Don’t worry – we’re getting to the good stuff, folks. Keep reading…
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Pacific Rim “Second Chances” Trailer: Your Countdown Clock May Be Running a Bit Slow…

Posted on July 7, 2013 by geelw

Oops, I forgot to run this trailer yesterday, so here you go. Only a few more days to go before those theater seats get packed in by the drooling mobs of kaiju fanatics and their mental checklists, so expect to see the Internet world even more flooded than usual with Comic Book Guy-like rants and/or raves about what works and what some of these smarty-pantses think was done “wrong” by Del Toro and company in making their summer epic. Pass the oversize grain of salt, puh-leeze! Meh, some people are never happy (and that’s because if they ever got up in the air on a crane to direct a shot, they’d probably poop themselves and pass out from fear of heights.

Clean Thoughts: Ivan Tors’ OSI Trilogy Deserves a Second Chance, I Say…

Posted on July 7, 2013 by geelw

I hadn’t even thought about Ivan Tors until a weird dream a few weeks back and again today when I was in the shower and for some reason, images from “gog” popped into my head. More precisely, one of the two robots spinning around with its arms out, damaged yet still quite dangerous. Yeah, I think of oddball stuff in the shower – don’t you? No, not THAT kind of stuff… this is a family show! OK, not ALL the time, but you get the point (jab, jab!)…

Anyway, before you ask a second time (and haven’t yet looked to the left at that poster – it helps to read this site while fully awake most of the time), “gog” was the third film in Tors’ really outstanding Office of Scientific Investigation (OSI) trilogy of “hard” science fiction films:

(thanks, MrMaxHeadroom!)

1953’s The Magnetic Monster and 1954’s Riders to the Stars made up the first two chapters and all three make up one of the most intelligent set of sci-fi flicks of the 1950’s. Tors himself was dedicated to making “realistic” genre films and all three succeed today despite many dated elements. That said, one does need to give films such as this a bit of a “pass” in terms of complaining about their cheesier or not so accurate aspects as they were predating and predicting many things science was still figuring out. I also give them a special hall pass gold star because audiences of the time got three films in two years that didn’t insult their intelligence and probably ended up as interesting for adults as it was for the kids who probably thought this was another raygun and robot quickie.

While I’ll most likely do a separate Random Film of the Week post on all three in the future, I’m going to go on ahead and recommend these (in order, of course!) if you’ve never seen them before. I think those of you with an eye for detail and an ear for good stories well told will get a kick out of this trilogy. Given that remaking them is probably never going to happen (although, it would be amazing to see these as period pieces rather than updated into today’s world), you may as well take these in as they’re meant to be seen and smile at the things that make you think a little more than you’d usually care to in a “B” movie…

Pacific Rim TV Spot #7 (Plus!): Another Smash Hit From Kaiju Goo Goo…

Posted on July 6, 2013 by geelw

Only a few days left before this stomps into theaters, so yes indeed, the ad and future Blu-Ray/DVD bonus features are rolling out bit by bit. I haven’t been following any merchandising on this film at all, primarily to keep me from buying every Jager and Kaiju I can lay my eyeballs on to fill that shelf space I don’t have (hey, nearly every inch of free space has a game in it or nearby). But don’t let that stop YOU from blowing a chunk of your last paycheck or three if you see something that grabs you.

Er, of course… if that something grabbing you is a few hundred feet tall, you can throw all the money you want at it and not much will happen at all. Hell you don’t have THAT much shelf space anyway…

Hey, part of that last sentence rhymed! No charge for that instant poem (as usual)…

Random Film of the Week: Yankee Doodle Dandy

Posted on July 5, 2013 by geelw

Like most Hollywood musical biographies, Yankee Doodle Dandy plays fast and loose with its versions of the facts, but also does a really fine job of keeping you hooked in thanks to great casting, a zippy pace and plenty of great, memorable scenes. James Cagney’s performance as George M. Cohan is thrilling enough (he rightfully won an Academy Award for it), but every other actor playing a major role here does an excellent job or keeping up with Cagney’s fast-talking, speak-singing, loose-limbed portrayal of the legendary multi-talented entertainer.

Released in 1942 to a country recently plunged into the Second World War, the sheer level of flag-waving, heart-clutching, voice booming Pledge of Allegiance patriotism here is eye-popping to the point of unintentionally funny, but it manages to works flawlessly as a morale booster of the highest order. It’s also a pretty decent comedy when it needs to be, as George’s early days are well-played by a young actor who nails his part for some early comic gold before succeeding his part to the snappier, snazzier Cagney.

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Kaiji Remedies vs. Middle-Earth Memories (No Sides Chosen Here)…

Posted on July 2, 2013 by geelw

Well,if you were chasing after me with an axe or something, I’d lean more towards Pacific Rim than The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug, but that’s only because that first Hobbit didn’t knock me off my toes (although it was entertaining). I’m a longer-term kaiju fanatic anyway, so Del Toro’s mechs and monsters epic gets the automatic not. Reviews I’m skipping ENTIRELY on this one, but I’ve seen a few tweets and other overly social media posts spilling a few positive beans about the final version. Good for you, ya lucky bums and your free passes, grrrr! Then again, I have two passes to see Turbo on Saturday (and no one to drag to the theater at 10am), so I guess that means I’m moving up in the world (or at least sideways… slowly)

Personally, I really, REALLY liked it better when people only gabbed about this sort of stuff to friends in person or on an old rotary phone. This always connected string-less tin can crap is the pain of the ages sometimes…

Random Film BUY of the Week: Shout Factory Gets The Producers Back on Stage!

Posted on July 2, 2013 by geelw

Well, not back on Broadway, bubbeleh… but as a Blu-Ray/DVD combo pack for you to buy and own. Thank you, Shout Factory!! Anyway, I say you ab-solutely need a copy of The Producers: Collector’s Edition because it’s PERFECT for those crappy days any time of the year when you want to pop something laughing. or those great days where you want to pop something laughing. Oh,and that that *new* Drew Friedman cover? Gorgeous! I say shaddup and buy this if you haven’t seen it yet (sure,sure – the play is funny, but the film is better and cheaper, I say!), then round up some of your friends and invite them over for a nice laugh or a hundred. Of course, they’ll be bringing food. There’s ALWAYS food when you want to have a little get-together, right? You want to come over too? Sure, sure – just call me, and I’ll make a nice chicken (plain, in the oven!)…

Can The Conjuring Scare Up (and Out) an Audience? Let’s See Now…

Posted on June 30, 2013 by geelw

I’d say it’ll be one of those big weekend gross horror flicks that tapers off to a whisper around week four or five for a few reasons. ONE: The Amityville Horror/Paranormal Activity/Exorcist-style format is VERY played out unless you’re one of those suckers who continually gets scared by these sorts of “horror” flicks. TWO: “Based on a True Story”? Yeah, right. All that means is a room full of writers over a period of time condensed a newspaper clipping or TV news item to even barer bones before padding it out with assorted jump scares and maybe some minor gore effects, creepy music and noises on the soundtrack to get a specific rating. THREE: Speaking of that rating… That “R” rating better mean I’m under the couch and chewing the carpet up, not snoozing through some hokey faux parapsychologists and another easily debunked “ghost” story. Yeah, I said couch, as I refuse to see any modern horror movie these days with a too-easy to squeal and squeak audience that saw the same damn sort of movie two weeks ago or earlier and acts as if that same “BOO!” shock effect is something they’ve never seen in their short attention spanned lives.

That and the dopes who talk at the screen and/or yell at people for doing so make it far more entertaining to flush that ticket money down the nearest toilet…

Random Film of the Week(end): The Man With Two Brains

Posted on June 29, 2013 by geelw

Depending on the mood you’re in, The Man With Two Brains will either be the dumbest movie you ever saw or you’ll be laughing so much that you’ll need to rewind some scenes a few times just to take them in and make sure your eyes were functioning properly. Of course, the truth is the film actually slides between both ends of that particular scale and pretty much doesn’t care whether you get every joke it throws at you.

That was pretty much the template for most of Steve Martin’s comedies back in the day before he settled into those more mundane and family friendly big box office reliable flicks that make some of his older fans cringe because they can see he’s just collecting a better paycheck rather than doing the comedy (or music, as the man can play a mean banjo!) he probably wants to.
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Pacific Rim “Under Attack” Featurette: It’s Not Really Trouble if You See it Coming…

Posted on June 28, 2013 by geelw

Um… “Forewarned is forearmed?” is that how that old saying goes? “Forehead is foresight?” Oh, I’ll get it one of these days. Anyway, everyone needs that big summer movie that’s not too cerebral yet entertaining and not insulting to fans of those old kaiju classics they grew up glued to the TV watching, so here you go. “Forsooth is Forspelt Forwrong?” Hmmm… let me give up now and find something a hell of a lot more productive to do. This too hot weather is making me nuts. Well, that and a few other things, but we’re working on those little issues bit by bit. Small movies, for one – they’re back thanks to WP bouncing back the html coding when I hit “Publish”. Yeah, that needs to get taken care of, grrrr…

UPDATE: Aha. Figured out what wasn’t working. Big Flicks Are BACK (part deux)…