Oh my, it’s the flying pun (heh). OK, OK… I’ve been lax in posting stuff about Thor: The Dark World. Sue me later, but at least suffer like a man (or woman, although they’ve suffered enough because of us men) through this post about these posters. The one up top was released earlier this month and is pulling off a nice Star Wars variant pretty well (although it’s a wee bit too crowded for my tastes), while these latter two dropped today and are nice looks at Thor and Loki good for covering up a closet door or something similarly sized. Hmmm… nice, but I know some of you want to see the ladies get their own posters. In other words, it’s your move, Marvel…
OK, I’ll admit it. I sometimes get Paul W.S. Anderson, Wes Anderson and P.T. Anderson ALL kinds of mixed up (and I bet you do as well), so when I first saw the name of this film I thought it was one of the latter two director’s works that had nothing to do with the historical disaster and everything to do with well-made, quirky masterpieces worth seeing and dragging a few skeptical friends who end up charmed and convinced. But, nope – it’s just the director of those hugely popular (well, among some horror genre and video game fans) Resident Evil films (well, most of them) doing his take on a historical drama with probably a romance and action angle. Hmmm. This is a bit problematic for me, as of late I totally despise these sorts of films that take actual events and add all sorts of “What if?” or “Let’s suppose…” and have some viewers sitting there and actually BELIEVING what’s on screen is what took place.
OK, Titanic got a pass for the most part because of Cameron’s obsession to every detail (I never liked the love story part of it at all – I went to see those expensive CG effects and walked out pleased for the most part) and there were/are other dramas I’ve appreciated for certain performances or directors. But retelling Pompeii on film (AGAIN) seems like a really dead end because no one survived as far as I can recall unless they weren’t in the area or somehow managed to escape a COMPLETELY unexpected volcanic eruption (they didn’t have the Weather Channel back then, kids!). So… yeah, this is one I won’t pay to see (no matter who directs it), but I may fall down in front of the TV around December 2014 or January 2015 when this pops up as a temporary cable staple. Hey, maybe if this does well, Anderson can direct a action/romance/drama flick about the Great Chicago Fire or that absolutely hi-larious San Francisco earthquake from the last century! Yeesh.
Oh well, the Game of Thrones fans will flock in if the film is good (or if it’s not) just for Kit Harrington. Me, I separate actors I like by the parts they play, so this one’s very low on the totem pole…
One of those films that some overly reactionary folk will take WAY too seriously if they ever see it (or already have if they remember seeing it on TV), 1969’s The Chairman is an intriguing mix of drama, action and spy flick that despite a huge chunk of ambition and a nice sense of scale, really doesn’t do much other than shake the pot it’s in before burning up from its good idea/bad ideas never quite blending correctly.
Granted, seeing Gregory Peck play an egghead genius type sent to communist China by the US government to retrieve a special enzyme that can grow crops in any type of soil (cue evil Monsanto theme if there is such a thing) is both the most interesting and most baffling thing about this one. But don’t let that poster fool you too much into thinking Peck will fight Mao in a one on one battle or anything. They meet, but it’s a meeting of wills here – Peck’s got plenty of other stuff to worry about before and after that little engagement, however…
Some movies are SO incredibly bad that it’s hard to hate them when you’re nearly dying from laughing so hard at and with them. 1988’s not quite epic action (yet must-see if you love really terrible films) masterpiece, Bulletproof is one of those films for a whole load of reasons from having Gary Busey as its star to the tricked out (and stupidly large) Thunderblast tank that looks as if it was designed by a room full of 12 year old boys with a box of plastic model tank kits he’s after once it’s stolen and taken to Mexico or something.
Actually, the brain-frying plot isn’t even important as much as watching Busey as Frank “Bulletproof” McBain blow away “butthorns”, survive all sorts of death threats and attempts, try hard to get the girl and even play the saxaphone at one point. You’ll probably start grinning less than two minutes in and once the laughs start, they’ll be hard to stop as one scene tops another for sheer overkill or just plain “WTF did I just watch”-ness. Of course, seeing Busey in too-tight jeans running around shooting up the scenery might put you off your food, but just watch the bodies fall or avert your eyes if you feel the need to…
A pretty wild chef’s special of comedy, drama and an unusual (but very British) sci-fi element, The World’s End is quite probably going to be the ultimate pub crawl flick for some time to come. Of course, given the current state of the planet with stuff falling apart all around the globe, the film just might be THE ultimate pub crawl flick, period. Fans of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz will be happy campers thanks to some familiar elements and lots of in-jokes, but some of the second half and perhaps the ending of the film may leave new viewers cold because they’re not into the blending of humor and melodrama offered here.
Of course, just like that special menu item you have no control of once your order is placed, everything on that plate won’t taste as great as some would like. However, that’s only if you get picky mid-meal and start poking through that strange looking but tasty sauce to criticize the ingredients you don’t much care for underneath. This is a film that works best when you just sit down and take it all in, letting all the laughs hit you as they come forth and holding off any “serious” discussion until you’re comfortably nestled atop a bar stool somewhere afterward, freshly poured brew of choice in hand…
If you’ve never seen this Robert Aldrich-produced and directed film noir masterpiece, drop what you’re doing (well, unless you’re operating heavy machinery or in the middle of something where dropping anything will cause a major or minor disaster) and go look this one up. You’re guaranteed to say something like “What the…” at least two or three (or a dozen) times while watching this one, trust me. Mike Hammer is supposed to be a hard as nails private eye, but in this flick, he spends about a quarter of the film either getting chased, beaten up, shot at and otherwise maimed by assorted people who want him out of the picture he’s supposed to be starring in.
Deviating quite dramatically from the Mickey Spillane novel, this one’s a blazing hot mix of a downward spiral into a particularly dark hell for private eye Mike Hammer (masterfully played by Ralph Meeker), who has so many brushes with death here that the film ends up having a nasty comic edge thanks to the level of violence on display. No one here escapes unscathed, as everyone either wants Hammer dead or disabled (or both) and the few people on his side tend to drop like flies or come pretty close to it. The film also offers up a big twist at the end that turns it into a sort of wild sci-fi flick, but I won’t spoil that surprise other than to say it’s a big reason the film is so insanely brilliant…
Hmmmm… I’d planned to ignore this flick until I found out Spike Jonze was behind the wheel, so on the list of stuff to see it goes. It’s hard to not watch anything the man works on and not be impressed and moved – this one looks pretty timely on a few fronts (although JP looks like a cross between the late Ernie Kovacs and Breaking Bad’s Walter White here). Well, we’ll see what’s what soon enough… if anything, it’ll be visually amazing like the director’s other works (well, not counting his appearance in that Jackass movie from a few years back)…
So, if you paid good money to see the not so hot Oblivion back in April when it came out, I’m betting you were surprised as hell to see a TV or internet commercial about two months later advertising the home video version coming… on August 2, 2013, less than FOUR MONTHS after the theatrical release. Wow. Granted, this is the day and age of some minor films getting a direct to download/view option at the same time as their theatrical launches or a direct to video as well as a theatrical release. But I believe that Oblivion is the fastest “A” budget title to land on video (feel free to correct me, movie guys). I didn’t see it in a theater and don’t plan to buy it on a disc (yup, I’m not a Cruise fan these days, sorry), but I have to almost feel bad for the guy (almost… but not really) having to see his big, big “blockbuster” go the “please bump up my take on the gross” route or whatever in less than the usual time it takes for a film so expensive to make show up at retail… and at a “special price” at that.
Although I’ve been ignoring it (and a bunch of other blockbusters this year, thanks to the window from theatrical to home video release getting shorter and shorter to the point of insanity) this sequel actually looks pretty decent (OK, it looks really decent). The again, the first film wasn’t bad at all and made for a nicer change of pace in how it handled the characters and blended humor into the mix so well. Kenneth Branagh isn’t on as director this time, but you can’t go wrong with Andy Taylor’s expertise at lensing a few episodes of Game of Thrones. That alone should propel this film into box office heaven… er Valhalla? Asgard? Whatever? Anyone? Bueller?… Bueller?
Eek. Here comes the mountain man-droid, so go hide under something until he’s gone. Unless he’s coming for you, which means you won’t get far at all. Yeah, that was a really good idea, huh? Of course, no Krueger (Sharlto Copely, who’s been working out a bit, I see) means no confrontation and Elysium probably gets to be a boring film… so go right on ahead and press that button or whatever. Just make sure you’re nowhere in the vicinity hen you do. It seems Mr. K. is a bit un-picky when he chooses his targets.
This has been a public service announcement. Neill Blomkamp’s latest film opens this Friday at a theater near you (most likely).
Oh my, it’s the flying pun (heh). OK, OK… I’ve been lax in posting stuff about Thor: The Dark World. Sue me later, but at least suffer like a man (or woman, although they’ve suffered enough because of us men) through this post about these posters. The one up top was released earlier this month and is pulling off a nice Star Wars variant pretty well (although it’s a wee bit too crowded for my tastes), while these latter two dropped today and are nice looks at Thor and Loki good for covering up a closet door or something similarly sized. Hmmm… nice, but I know some of you want to see the ladies get their own posters. In other words, it’s your move, Marvel…
"DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!" 