Tag Archives: Movie Trailers

Random Film of the Week(end), Too: Horror Castle

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(thanks, sleazeorama!) 

Horror Castle smallGiven that it’s been released with no fewer than three titles (The Virgin of Nuremberg and Castle of Terror are the other two), it’s not surprise that I didn’t get to see this Italian horror flick until it popped up on TCM a few days ago. Of course, if I wasn’t up and half dying from the scratchy throat that mutated into the cold I’m now getting over, I’d have missed this frightening little import gem. Sure, it’s got a score that sounds a bit out of place, some odd dialog (although I’m not sure if this a translation issue) and yes, plenty of cliché gone wild moments that would sink a lesser effort. Nevertheless, the overall gloomy atmosphere and great color photography, a great extended cameo by Christopher Lee (misspelled as Cristopher Lee in the credits) and a pretty damn excellent scene involving rats, a cage and a young woman’s face make this one worth tracking down…

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Random Film of the Week(end): MARTIN

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(thanks albademorti!) 

martin 1978 I think I like MARTIN the best out of all George Romero’s films because despite its age it still holds up one of the best modern takes on the vampire genre (even though the titular character only thinks he’s one) and is about as uncompromising as it gets from beginning to end.

It’s also an extremely hard to watch film if you’re squeamish about a few things like needles, fresh razor blades and blood, but everything clicks on multiple levels and there’s a powerful payoff at the end that offers up a bit of slyly amusing social commentary common to Romero’s work. If all you know about vampires is that tween sparkly Twilight crap or even the used to be interesting before it went into fairy fantasy crazyland True Blood, this one will stake a claim in your brain as soon as you meet the titular character doing his version of the bloodsucking thing he needs to slake his thirst…
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Saturn 3 Blu-Ray/DVD Bound: Heckling Hector and Company For Their Less Than Stellar Work…

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Saturn 3 BDOK, I didn’t think it was possible, but it looks as if someone is actually putting the wretched mess Saturn 3 out on Blu-Ray. The otherwise great director Stanley Donen’s flawed folly of a feeble flick is headed out to retail on December 3, 2013 from the fine folks at Shout Factory.

This big budget sci-fi/horror non-epic non masterpiece (it’s not even a “so bad it’s good” experience) completely wastes the talents of all involved and is a total mess from start to finish. Thankfully, it looks as if the disc’s handful of bonus features just may save this one from being the “WTF did you get me this crap for?” movie of the year.  Trust me, there’s not one redeemable quality about the theatrical version, but I know some movie fans find elements of this junk heap intriguing enough to want to go back and watch this a few too many times.

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Machete Kills… Some Time (If You’re Up To Another Trip to Camp Value)…

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machete killsWelp, I knew this wasn’t going to be Gone With The Wind (unless you count how long it lasts in theaters, ha, ha), but it’s here, ready and more than willing to take some dollars from your wallet and beat you senseless with its non-stop Rodriguez-ness. I guess I’ll see this like I did the original Machete – on cable, and surprised that I didn’t know it was premiering so soon. Amusingly enough, I had a weird dream about Sofia Loren and Sofia Vergara standing next to each other on a subway giving each other the once over and I woke up laughing because by the same point in their careers, Loren had done the sexpot thing as well as more mature acting work and had multiple awards and international acclaim. Sofia needs to step it up, methinks… although you big fans of her body of work (Ah. Ha. Ha.) will probably disagree. On the other hand, Danny Trejo looks like he fell down a mountain on is face a few too many thousand feet, but that mug has brought him fame, fortune and a variety of roles that has cemented him a place in the hearts of many. Er, sort of. Given that he dies a lot in the stuff he makes, it’s finally good to see him playing a somewhat invincible dude you don’t want to mess with!

Escape From Tomorrow Trailer: Disney Probably Wants To Hold A Little Necktie Party…

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Escape From TomorrowWow. If this is as incredibly insane as it looks (and it looks like a David Lynch film gone haywire), I may just have a film of the year candidate to go see in a few days. Randy Moore’s guerrilla-shot first film most likely has Disney seething for any number of reasons, but we’ll see where that goes on the legal front, as the House of Mouse tends to be VERY protective of their image and imagery. Well, not anywhere near ME, as that last movie theater is STILL shut and I have NO clue as to what’s going on. Granted, I could just VOD it, but that’s too expensive for me and nope, I can’t watch it on the iDevices I have in the house, as none are connected and I’m not giving Apple any more of my information.

Hmmm… as this looks like a really bad (and bad-ass) nightmare, I can always try to replicate it by smacking myself with a rubber mallet in the head after taking four ZzzQuil, but I’m sure that will be the last thing I remember doing before waking up at the morgue. Ah well. I guess I’ll have to hols out for a DVD or Blu-Ray release. I was going to say I’d watch this on IFC or Sundance Channel, but they’ve been RUINING their channels with commercials just like regular and some cable TV networks. Boo. I’m hard to market stuff to, so ads never grab me unless they’re terminally stupid or pushing some stuff I already plan on buying.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug TV Spots 1 & 2: Only A Year (Or Less) ‘Til Cable!

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OK, don’t shoot me, movie people. I’ve decided to wait until this one pops up on cable TV, as the first film is (not so surprisingly) premiering later this month (on HBO, I think). So much for the normal waiting time that used to be at least a year or so after a major film hit theaters. At this point, it’ll seem to some as if the only reason to go to the movies is just to get out of the house and see a flick on something larger than that already too large HDTV you may own (or the big wall you project movies on). OK, widescreen is also a good reason, but most new films are ending up premiering in that theatrical format to the point that I get annoyed when I see a recent or older film that SHOULD be in that aspect ratio run as a crappy pan & scan version. B to the O to the O, cable and movie people who still do that crap. Even an old analog set can play a widescreen movie in letterbox format, so enough with the old versions already, I say. The ONLY films that need to fill up my screen like that are the classics TCM shows that weren’t originally shot that way. OK, old cartoons and classic TV get a pass as well.

Of course, if you’re impatient or just love seeing films on a big screen with hordes of smelly humans around you, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug opens in theaters on December 13, 2013. Everyone else, set your clocks…

I, Frankenstein Trailer: Me, Annoyed To No End, Actually…

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I was going to to this whole post in a sort of Solomon Grundy/Chief Wild Eagle “voice”, but that would be SO incredibly non PC that I’d have comic fans AND native American protesters lined up outside the home office. Hey, MORE traffic is good for my site, folks… but not traffic that wants to run you over for real, (ha, ha, ouch!)… ANYWAY, yuk. I do not like this upcoming “horror”/action flick one bit because it reminds me on those increasingly harder to sit through Underworld movies and other so-called horror/action blockbusters that cater to the forgiving crowd that only knows traditional monsters from more modern film efforts. Granted, I could be wrong and this one could be a big surprise. But on the other hand and foot, all those CGI monsters, fiery spiral explosions and fast cuts don’t promise much other than a film that will make your brain feel as if it’s been forcefully removed from your head by a cockeyed hunchback and placed into the body of a person who just forgot what he or she spent that ticket money on an hour and a half ago.

Oh, great… now I have Underworld fans on my ass now. But that’s OK. I’ll fight them in the pouring rain (by not showing up and sending the pack of rabid raccoons and Go Go Gophers I keep in the spare room here), which will wash their goth mascara into their eyes and make the street slippery so they’ll fall on their asses in those cheap shoes they bought from Hot Topic with the no good for rain soles. Yeah, I’m a bad man… but you asked for it.

Thor: The Dark World Clip: Loki Pulls Joker Mode Off Fairly Well…

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Alright, for some reason I got a Dark Knight vibe from this clip, but that doesn’t mean this Thor sequel will rise to those heights at all. Granted, I’m also not too thrilled that all we seem to be getting out of Hollywood are more sequels, comic book movies, the same romantic comedies and dramas with different casts and overblown “based on/inspired by a true story” films that in most cases pale in comparison to classics and some foreign films. On one hand, I can just say “oh well, that’s showbiz!” as I stay home and wait for the home video and/or cable TV premiere dates to roll in (which are all sooner than later these days). On the other hand, given that people aren’t going to the movies as much in some spots, Hollywood seems to feel that the best way to get people lining up is to overheat that Xerox machine. Oh well, we almost all love beautiful-looking things (or so the suits who run things hope)…

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit Trailer: Like It or Else, Life Goes On In the Clancyverse…

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Quite a number of years ago I was leaving a press event at a hotel here in NYC and on the elevator ride down there was a guy in the back of the car who looked like an older Patton Oswalt. That got me grinning and thinking comical thoughts to myself until the elevator stopped a few floors down, a man gets on and says a cheery “Hello Mr. Clancy!” before proceeding to discuss one of his books that had recently been turned into a film. Of course, I turned a few shades of red when I realized it was THAT Tom Clancy and fortunately I didn’t embarrass myself any further. Anyway, some people think Paramount Pictures is running this new Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit trailer in bad taste since Tom Clancy died earlier this week, but I’d have to say it’s business as usual on the entertainment scene front. Of course, if this was rolled out early as a result of Mr. Clancy’s sudden death in order to generate interest in the upcoming film… yeah, then it’s quite despicable from a few viewpoints.

Wonder Woman May Never Get Her Own Movie, But This Fan Trailer Is Pretty OK…

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I’d have preferred the actress put more “oomph” into the shot where she throws that spear and it’s a bit odd in that part where she deflects the bullet because of the scene shifting going on, but otherwise, this is a pretty cool (and VERY professional looking) trailer from Rainfall Films. TO those of you WW fans who were screaming that she’s not busting out of that costume like in some comics that feature the Amazon in all sorts of action scenes, I say go ask any lady with the size boobs you’d think are right for that outfit if SHE’D jump around and do all those kicks without popping out and maybe knocking herself unconscious in the process. Lynda Carter’s outfit was probably a bit painful to wear for long periods on that 70’s TV show, I’d bet. Anyway, I hear that good cosplayers use tape and other methods (not bending over too far and learning how to pose correctly for photos in and out of conventions) to keep their homemade tops up – actual super heroes have no such “luxuries”. Although, hell… if Diana’s got an invisible plane, how come it’s not plausible for her to be wearing an invisible sports bra? Get on it, Bali or whomever- millions of women would love you even more if that were to become a reality…