Power Rangers: Battle for the Grid Punches Way Onto Consoles, PC

PWBFTG still

Eep. Just looking at this image had that original main theme song popping into my head. Where’s my Geritol?

Man, I Feel Really Old, Volume XVIII: Developer nWay, coming off its success with the mobile game Power Rangers: Legacy Wars is doing it up again for fans of the long-running series with an all-new game, Power Rangers: Battle For The Grid ($19.99, Standard Edition, $39.99, Digital Collector’s Edition), out now for PC, Xbox One and Nintendo Switch with a PS4 version dropping shortly. Take a look at the trailer and sure, go get the kids and gather around the screen if you like. I think if they’re fans, they’ll be quite pleased:

So, what’s in that download, you ask? Well, look below the jump and find out, I say.

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I, Frankenstein Trailer: Me, Annoyed To No End, Actually…

I was going to to this whole post in a sort of Solomon Grundy/Chief Wild Eagle “voice”, but that would be SO incredibly non PC that I’d have comic fans AND native American protesters lined up outside the home office. Hey, MORE traffic is good for my site, folks… but not traffic that wants to run you over for real, (ha, ha, ouch!)… ANYWAY, yuk. I do not like this upcoming “horror”/action flick one bit because it reminds me on those increasingly harder to sit through Underworld movies and other so-called horror/action blockbusters that cater to the forgiving crowd that only knows traditional monsters from more modern film efforts. Granted, I could be wrong and this one could be a big surprise. But on the other hand and foot, all those CGI monsters, fiery spiral explosions and fast cuts don’t promise much other than a film that will make your brain feel as if it’s been forcefully removed from your head by a cockeyed hunchback and placed into the body of a person who just forgot what he or she spent that ticket money on an hour and a half ago.

Oh, great… now I have Underworld fans on my ass now. But that’s OK. I’ll fight them in the pouring rain (by not showing up and sending the pack of rabid raccoons and Go Go Gophers I keep in the spare room here), which will wash their goth mascara into their eyes and make the street slippery so they’ll fall on their asses in those cheap shoes they bought from Hot Topic with the no good for rain soles. Yeah, I’m a bad man… but you asked for it.

Escape Plan TV Spot #1: No Movie For Old Men… Uh, Oh… Too Late!

Or “I’m Getting Too Old For This $#!t!”. Or “Stop, Or My Hip Will Go Out!”. or “Aged Whine and Cheese”… and so forth and so on (I thought up about fifteen other titles). Yeesh, I don’t know who the target audience for this is other than those in on the joke or delusional people close to my age who still think these two aging granite-faced coots are going to be doing stunt work they’ve never done previously AND making a decent movie chewing up the same scenery together. Then again… I bet no one is seeing this for the “acting”, right? RIGHT?!

Yeah, I thought so…

Hmmm. If it were a flick packed with more former action heroes around the same age in that space prison trying to get out, mayyyyyyyyybe it would be good for a chuckle. On the other hand… that’s probably the plot of The Expendables 7, coming to a theater near you in oh, about three years (or two, if it’s straight to video, no chaser)…

Texas Chainsaw 3D: Nope, Screaming Won’t Help At All…

 

Hey, maybe… just MAYBE, this will actually be good. But I’m an old, old cranky guy about stuff like this, so I doubt it. The fact that they reference the 1974 original in the trailer and TV spot is a bit irksome to an old fart like me because I know that it’s rare that a horror flick gets a well done remake or sequel. Not impossible, mind you – just rare. All (lousy) puns intended there, by the way. Still, I’ll give this a look without the 3D gimmickry at all once it’s cable bound. Hey kids! A good horror film is maybe 90% mood anyway (or more if it’s made before the late 50’s) and this one seems to be doing a wee bit too much plot jiggering and trying to tie in exactly to Tobe Hooper’s classic (still a fairly relentless viewing experience that’s a lot less bloody than you’d think if you’ve never seen it before). Well, good, bad or otherwise forgettable, if you DO get scared during this reboot… “just keep saying to yourself: It’s only a MOVIE, It’s only a MOVIE, It’s only a MOVIE…”

 

 

Dredd 3D Poster: Respect The Badge!

Nicely striking image (and slightly reminiscent of the Batman variant poster for The Dark Knight) for the upcoming film starring Karl Urban, Olivia Thirlby and Lena Headey set to hit theaters across the US on September 21.  Early reviews from those who saw screenings at San Diego Comic Con have been quite good, so hopefully the folks who think that first Judge Dredd flick was somehow “great” will get a true head check in a month or so (no Rob Schneider is a big plus for me and I sure won’t miss Sly and his helmet-less ways). That and hell, hopefully, the film will get a better critical reception that the Total Recall reboot, which is getting some unfair slams from people who’ve never read the original story (which had absolutely nothing to do with Mars)

A Minute Of Dredd Makes For A Good Impression…

It’s so very nice to see that the upcoming film is quite close to the old 2000 A.D. comics in tone and spirit (no Rob Schneider mucking up the works), so that’s a big thumbs up from me. I see from poking around a few other sites that the San Diego Comic-Con screening went well, so good for Lionsgate and all involved. Granted, I’m betting the film won’t touch the box office tallies The Dark Knight Rises will rake in, but it’s great to see Dredd finally getting a film that’s worthy of the name.

Advance Screening Alert: See DREDD 3D For Free At San Diego Comic-Con!

Hey! Are you going to San Diego Comic-Con this year?  Good! Want to see DREDD 3D for FREE months before everyone else? Well, OK, then! Here’s info direct from Lionsgate on how to get in on this:

We’re excited to announce that Lionsgate is kicking off San Diego Comic Con 2012 with an Advance Screening of Dredd 3D!!

**SCREENING:

When: Wednesday, July 11th, 10:00PM

Where: Reading Cinemas Gaslamp. 701 5th Ave., San Diego

Note: Star Karl Urban will introduce the screening!

To learn more about the above, and register for the exclusive screening, visit www.JudgementIsComing.com and retweet DREDD 3D’s tweet! #JudgementIsComing

**MASTERS OF THE WEB PANEL:

When: Thursday, July 12th, 4:30PM – 5:30PM

Where: Room 24ABC

What: Masters of the Web – The annual gathering of some of the most prominent and influential film pundits on the web discuss the film industry, writing for film online, film fandom, and a whole lot more. Moderated by star of the new Lionsgate film Dredd, Karl Urban (Star Trek, Lord of the Rings: Return of the King), with special surprise cast members from the film. Panelists include Mike Sampson (ScreenCrush.com), Jen Yamato (MovieLine.com), Mali Elfman (ScreenCrave.com), Erik Davis (Movies.com), Steve “Frosty” Weintraub (Colider.com), Grae Drake (Fandango.com), Jenna Busch (Cocktails with Stan Lee), and Edward Douglas (ComingSoon.net), and hosted by John Campea (AMC Theatres). AMC is generously providing free movies passes to all attendees of the panel this year! Room 24ABC

http://www.facebook.com/dreddthemovie

http://www.twitter.com/LionsgateMovies

#Dredd3D

Should You Dread DREDD? If The Poster Is Any Indication, Nope.

Well, OK… a movie poster is JUST another slice of the hype cheese wheel, so at the end of the day it’s actually meaningless if the film it advertises stinks. That said, after reading the plot synopsis, I have a feeling that Judge Dredd’s second Hollywood outing will be a hell of a lot better than that first travesty, where the acting performance by a “robot” made it worth watching (yes, Mean Machine was the best thing in that flick).

Still, I did do a double take when I read the press release, as I mixed up Keith Urban and Karl Urban in my head and nearly choked on a bagel. Good thing I remembered who was who before it was too late or you’d all be wondering why I hadn’t posted in a while. Anyway, September 21, 2012 is the release date and I’m imagining the commercials will start dropping sooner rather than later if the studio thinks it’s got a winner on their hands. One thing I DO want in this one is Anthrax’s “I Am The Law” playing over the end credits, so let’s hope that’s been taken care of.