Godzilla “Courage” TV Spot: Well, That Depends On One Thing…

 
As noted above, it indeed does Depend on the person who decides to fight that big radioactive beastie and whether of not he or she’s got some adult diapers packed in that backpack when they go leaping out of a plane or other assault vehicle with intent on their faces (and the possibility of poop in their pants). Me, I’d be finding the fastest way out of town and double-timing it over some kids, puppies and grannies in the process. Hey, SOMEONE needs to write about surviving that hell and I’m not going to play the Raymond Burr part of Steve Martin from the 1956 US version of the original Gojira. When I sign off, it’ll be from the comfort of a faraway location and there won’t be any building falling on my head either. Yes, I’m basically the Dr. Zachary Smith* of bloggers, but at least I’m honest about it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go look up some proper hiding places that are new Godzilla proof!

*(Well, Dr. Smith after the first few episodes of Lost in Space when he transformed from an actual creepy threat into full-on comic relief mode. The man must have been hit on the head or something during a Jupiter 2 crash!)

Godzilla “Whatever It Takes” Tv Spot: Okay, Now You’re Just Showing Off…

 
Alright, you big radioactive lizard, that’s it. We’re ONLY at what, the THIRD new TV ad and it’s already a “nothing stops it, not even the bomb!” moment? Well, okay then. I guess that’s a good thing, right? Although I’d have personally preferred a gag clip insert of Slim Pickens riding that H-bomb down to glory from Dr. Strangelove to no effect (this time) just to get people who remember that film chuckling and those who’ve never seen it (but need to) wondering where the hell that scene came from. Yaaaa-hooooo! Anyway, Godzilla opens here in the US on May 16, 2014.

Godzilla “I Can’t Believe This Is Happening” TV Spot: Well, Start Running Anyway!

 
Of course, the ultimate in-joke is being IN a theater watching Godzilla when there’s a Godzilla-like event that suddenly happens outside (eek). What with all these natural and man-made disasters taking place on a seemingly regular scale, I think I may hold out on seeing this in a theater after all. I’d probably be the first one out the door to run screaming down the street into a manhole or newly opened fault line break anyway (which would make it into the inevitable Hollywood movie that pops up about whatever event takes place because SOME people never believe the news or what’s in a work of non-fiction until they see it recreated with actors they “know”. Now, hmmmm… who’s going to play me in that disaster flick? I’ll take some ideas now in case I’m not around to see the profits from the movie…

Godzilla “It Can’t Be Stopped” TV Spot: Yeah, YOU Tell Him To Stop. I Dare You…

Me, I’ll be hoofing it like hell to some high ground or way out of town while you’re down at getting stomped upon level doing semaphore with a traffic cone on each arm hoping the big guy can decipher them and not crack up before he puts a foot on your head. I bet that zombie apocalypse bag you have in the hall closet has nothing useful against Godzilla at all unless you thought of making CHOKING HAZARD T-shirts and that monster can read. Which gos back to the sense of humor thing, mind you. What DOES Godzilla find funny these days? Inquiring minds want to know!

Hercules Trailer: Strong Words For The Muscle-Man…

So, here we go again on a few fronts. Yeah, yeah, Hercules has been in the movies for decades and sure, this new film trailer hits all the notes it needs to in terms of the usual action movie bullet points. On the other hand, color me bored and waiting for the cable premiere because this myth has been busted too many times previously in some eternally wretched Hercules flicks. Lou Ferrigno and Luigi Cozzi still hold the golden crown as far as the gold standard of awfulness when it comes to the hero. But at least both films stand up in terms of sheer camp craziness. I mean, in the first film, Herc throws a BEAR he’s just punched out into SPACE which turns it into a constellation for cryin’ out loud! You just can’t top that no matter how many light years better your special effects are. As usual, we’ll see what happens with this newer flick, but I don’t have my hopes up that it will be as fun (or funny) as any of the others.

Then again, there’s always Arnold and HIS goofball take on Herc. He fought a bear in that film as well (and in Central Park, yet!)

The Raid 2: Before The Brutal Ballet Begins, A Brief Peek…

SONY-XROS-01_MPAA_030614.indd

1. DSC_5266With The Raid 2 finally hitting theaters this Friday, here’s a peek at some stills you can see without wincing or ducking down behind the back of the seat in front of you as well as a few GIFs to make your eyeballs bounce around in their sockets if you happen to like that sort of thing. I still catch the first film on cable when I have time to spare or need the sounds of bones cracking as background noise when I write. It’s actually very relaxing under the proper circumstances.

Um… well… I guess you need to be here when I’m in a good mood and can work to anything playing in the room. Here’s the film’s trailer in case you need to know what I’m babbling about:

More pictures (moving and not) below the jump…

Continue reading

Transcendence: Johnny on the Spot Or The Yawnmower Man? We Shall See…

You know, when I saw this trailer to Transcendence I actually laughed out loud because it reminded me of all those “cyberpunk” themed TV shows and films from the 90’s that for the most part didn’t so anything right other than be expensive and really weird unintentional sci-fi comedies. Sure, I know these movies have their followings and fans who groove on the cornball digital effects and “futuristic” scenarios (some by popular authors!), but come on, now. They just haven’t held up all that well even if you DO like them so much you gloss over their obvious flaws. Anyway, this flick seems to be going for a mix of The Lawnmower Man and War Games with a few other bits wired in for good measure and yeah, a “bald” Johnny Depp with wires sticking out of his head makes for a funky future Frankenstein’s monster for sure. Will it be a hit, a miss or a camp classic cable flick? We shall see, people… we shall see…

X-Men: Days of Future Past Trailer 2: It’s A Mutant Monday Today? Sure, Why Not?

Since we’re now in summer blockbuster mode something like eleven months out of the year, I may as well post this big new trailer for the big new upcoming mutant-packed extravaganza. As a fan of the original story arc this comes from but not of all the movies, my feeling are mixed even though this does look quite thrilling. I’m probably jaded thanks to all these CG effects taking up so much screen time and real estate in films such as this that with few exceptions, these films start to all look alike. That said, somehow Marvel has yet to find how to make ALL its special effects packed films equally worthy of a trip to the theater as they’ve been hit and miss the last few years. Although it seems they’ll be getting plenty of opportunities to flood cinemas, TV, and any other device that can get a program up and running with caped and non-caped heroes galore 24 hours a day, so I guess that trend will continue for a while. Is this a good thing? Hmmmmm… for me, the jury’s out (way out). But remember kids… man cannot live by end of the world scenarios and last minute super rescues alone, as you’ll soon find out. Hell, the newspapers are chock full of REAL life doom and gloom as it is!

Random Film of the Week(end): Zardoz

(thanks, tubesoda!) 

zardoz_xlgHow amusing that I had a dream about Zardoz and TCM (Turner Classic Movies) just so happens to be showing it this evening (EDIT: Okay, at 2am Sunday). John Boorman’s wonderfully gorgeous and somewhat, okay, EXTREMELY bizarre follow up to the 1972 smash Deliverance was and is a weird mix of science fiction, black comedy and violence that baffled many critics and moviegoers of the time and while it’s a more popular cult film today with a loyal following, still has a polarizing effect on a few fronts. If anything, the film’s oddball mix of impressive and cheap visual effects and some stunning cinematography go a long way in holding one’s interest as the plot zooms all over the landscape.

From the killer opening sequence with a floating stone head issuing marching orders (“The GUN is GOOD! The PENIS is EVIL!”) to some well-armed men (well, the stone head is the one arming them with PILES of firearms), to one of those well-armed men (Sean Connery!) sneaking aboard that head to do a bit of surprising disposal work (how do you kill a “god”? Here’s one way if you need a hint!), Zardoz continually surprises, even when it’s getting too meta for its own good. Then again, that seems to be what Boorman wanted to do with this film. This is one of those experimental flicks that does an excellent job of making you pay attention right from the start and slowly draws you deeper into its odd characters and world. Granted, your suspension of disbelief is being kidney punched the entire way through, but such is art and films such as this one… Continue reading

Godzilla International Trailer: All You Need From Me On A Tuedsay Is A Big, Mad Lizard…

 
Yeah, I’m kind of taking the day off to rest because my overtaxed brain has needed it for a bit and I didn’t listen to the signals for a few weeks, so here you go. Of course, after that toy reveal yesterday, I figured we’d HAVE to see a new trailer that shows the big radioactive lug doing his stuff. Nice, huh? I’m tempted to break my travel almost 24 miles both ways boycott to check this out, but we shall see. At this point, seeing new movies when they land in theaters is low on the totem pole unless I get preview passes. I’m not at all averse to holding out for the soon to be released home video version (which as I’ve noted previously, takes less than eight months for most films these days).