Nice. I’m out of time today at the library as it rushes to close, but enjoy – back to edit in some humor later tonight… or not. Hey, this film will sell itself, so it really doesn’t need me making any dumb jokes at its expense, right? Well, I’m typing this NOW because there’s a big ugly guy with a VERY bandaged face pointing a VERY big fist at my head and I don’t want to get punched in the head by that VERY big fist because I need my brain unscrambled to write this post and others. Heh. Okay Marv, happy now? Good.
So, what’s up in the jungle, Jim? Not much but lots of death and leftovers! Anyway, here’s the plot of this upcoming horror flick, suitable for no one under the age of slashenteen without a cast iron stomach:
A group of college students take their humanitarian protest from New York to the Amazon jungle only to get kidnapped by the native tribe they came to save. A tribe that still practices the ancient tribal rite of cannibalism, with a healthy appetite for intruders.
(thanks, Movieclips Trailers!)
Well, there goes my plans to visit even the nearest sunny park around here at this point. Guaranteed to cause all sorts of outrage when it’s released (mostly among people who won’t see it under any circumstances, I’d bet), The Green Inferno is a throwback to the gory glory days of exploitation horror films and nope, I’m not planning on seeing this in a theater at all.
If I do decide to commit to this flick and it’s NOT a media screening with relatively normal people in attendance squealing and hiding under the seats, it’ll be in the comfort of my own home where I can shut it off and find something else to do if I’m feeling queasy. I’m gathering the home video and/or cable versions will have more footage and on disc, I’d hope there’s a nice behind the scenes documentary that gets into how this was made. I didn’t make it through Cannibal Holocaust (this film’s inspiration) in one sitting, but I think I can handle this… I think… (cue creepy music that gets me wanting to go watch a Caillou box set instead on a permanent loop)…
Predictions: this one will get a nomination for Best Documentary at next year’s Academy Awards for sure, but will probably lose to something more dramatic and real-world fixated. Anyway, if you’re a creative sort, Jodorowsky’s Dune will expand your mind significantly even as the project as intended ends up not getting filmed in the end. If you happen to love behind the scenes dirt, this film is packed with it (and MAN, is some of it of the VERY bizarre variety). Still, I wonder how the sci-fi film landscape would have changed had this been shot and completed as intended. It would have certainly been one of the more expensive films ever created at that time, but as we all know, money tossed down a well doesn’t guarantee all the wishes dumped in afterwards will come true. Anyway, grab this one in July, invite some friends over and make it a movie day, as I’m betting any special features included will be as compelling as the documentary or even more so…
As the first second screen “horror” film, Bobby Boermans’ APP dares to ask you to not only keep your cell phone ON during its entire running time, it wants you to download an app just for the purposes of getting the most out of the wild ride it sends you on for a very brisk 75 minutes.
However, if the very idea of having a phone buzzing away a few times on your lap as you watch a film outrages you to no end, you can watch the film without a phone and still enjoy it quite thoroughly. It’s certainly worth seeing this one both ways (which I did for the purposes of this review) as the phone-enabled parts are cleverly crafted to not distract from the film at all, giving you enough time to glance down then back up without missing anything important. Continue reading →
I’d only heard of this 1982 exploitation flick from a few friends who saw it back in the day and this trailer makes me want a working time machine so I could go back to the days of popping downtown to Times Square to catch unabashed junk like this in a double feature guaranteed to make me burn up a few brain cells before all was said and done. You don’t see these films for their “educational” value, that’s for sure! Granted, super cheap ticket prices aside, those bad old days were pretty hairy for movie going in that area, what with the sticky floors, smelly seats and generally rowdy crowds at most theaters save for the first run houses that were kept in as pristine shape as can be. Anyway, this DVD is out July 8, 2014 at the Vinegar Syndrome site, so go grab it, round up a few friends and some suitable eats and have a blast, I say…
Now, when I see the words “Vinegar”, “Baby Rosemary” and “Hot Lunch”, my brain automatically thinks of cooking up something like a nice chicken dish using the first two as ingredients. Some nice balsamic vinegar, a bit of olive oil and that baby rosemary would make an excellent marinade,maybe with a bit of English mustard for a surprise kick. I’m drooling already! Then I clicked PLAY on that video above and it wasn’t food I was thinking about (although my stomach was still growling something fierce). I think exploitation DVD mavens Vinegar Syndrome have other ideas for this Wednesday as you can see above. Yeah, there’s nothing like some well-aged 1970’s cheese in the form of a double feature that’s not for the kiddies at all. Actually, these drop on June 3rd, 2014, but you may as well take these teasers and run with them over to the VS site anc check out what else they have to offer…
Hmmmmmm. I’m sorry, but I laughed out loud when I saw the name to Luc Besson’s new film about a sexy gal (Scarlett Johansson) who gains superhuman powers after she accidentally ingests some of the drugs she’s forced to smuggle. Not because I don’t think Mr. B and Ms. J can pull it off more than ably and not because it’s one more Besson action flick about a killer lady doing her stuff kicking all sorts of butt and getting into serious trouble in fancy locations. Nope, those well-aged tropes make me smile and nod. It’s the title, ladies and gents. Why? Because I think of Lucille Ball making a 20-foot loaf of bread, stuffing chocolates in her mouth on that assembly line, stomping grapes versus a real grape stomper and getting into other mischief that requires “splain”-ing to her harried hubby. Of course, when I get around to actually seeing the trailer, I’ll be expecting a laugh track and a orchestral/bongo back beat. Oh, wait… it was already dropped onto YouTube in April? D’oooooh! (Goes to microwave some popcorn, microwave is busted. *Crap!* Runs out to buy bad of equally nasty cold bagged popcorn… Seven minutes, thirty eight seconds later)…
As far as movie openings go, Sidney J. Furie’s 1965 spy drama The Ipcress File was and still is an attention grabber. There are no studio logos or bombastic fanfares to kick things off here – the film just begins with a pre-credit sequence that has two men walking to a car somewhere in London and you’re hooked in like a greedy trout. A leading British scientist being taken to a train station is mysteriously kidnapped and his escort killed by unseen assailants.
As you’re taking this in (head spinning slightly) the scene shifts to one Harry Palmer (Michael Caine), a myopic former soldier and petty criminal turned British government agent slowly rolling out of bed to start his workday as John Barry’s excellent main title theme buzzes your eardrums. Right from the beginning, this is one of those great ‘pay attention’ movies guaranteed to hold you in its grasp thanks to a cast and crew dedicated to their work… Continue reading →
One of the most unusual “mainstream” horror films you’ll ever see, Nobuhiko Obayashi’s 1977 film HOUSE is one of those inventively crazy movies that will stick in your head for a long while after those end credits roll.
Paradoxically, it’s tricky to talk about the film in detail and not give a lot away. But on the other hand, you could go in knowing the entire story and what happens to every character in the film before you see it and still have your mind completely blown by the bizarre visual effects and how the tone switches from comic to horror (and back and forth at that) at the drop of a hat.
Aha. I was waiting for the photo versions of Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller’s upcoming Sin City: A Dame To Kill For to start popping up on the internet and here you go. Well, below the first four promo posters, which are stylish and all, but don’t show how some of the returning characters look in the flesh:
Now, THESE five are more like it, I say:
Of course, Mickey Rourke as Marv is mostly makeup, so he’s probably the lest changed from the original film. I’ll get slapped if I say Jessica Alba’s Nancy looks “older” even if I’m just being honest about it, but if she’s doing the slapping, I’ll stick out my chin and let her have at it. Ouch! Anyway, everyone else here is new to the Sin City saga and we’ll all see what’s what on August 22, right?
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