Ride to Hell CGI Trailer (NSFW): Va, Va, Voom Meets Bing, Bang, Boom…


 

Hmmm… sooo, the “grindhouse” revival isn’t quite dead yet, huh? Well, I don’t mind a GOOD exploitation flick (or game, in this case), so this new game coming in June for Xbox 360, PS3, and PC should be worth keeping an eyeball on. Or someone’s eyeball you happen to have well-preserved in that leather jacket pocket from an old bar brawl a few years back, ewww. Provided it doesn’t take itself TOO damn seriously, that tagline of “Two Fists, Two Wheels, and No Rules” might make this one worth a few laughs of the “definitely NOT for the kiddies!” variety. Deep Silver has been developing and/or picking up some fun stuff to publish lately, so hopefully this one plays well and doesn’t wear out its welcome in terms of longevity. The best “B” flicks don’t explain everything they shake your way and it looks like this game won’t either. As always… we shall see.

Capcom Arcade Cabinet 1985-II Trailer: Three More To Make You Feel Young (Or Old)…


 

OK, my poor twitch reflexes are tingling, but that’s either good or bad depending on the game that needs playing. It’s good if it’s a slow jammer I can play half asleep, but not so good if it’s these three latest downloads for Capcom Arcade Cabinet on the PS3 (via PSN) and Xbox 360 (via XBLA), which you should be able to snap up right about now. Savage Bees, The Speed Rumbler and Commando are this week’s quarter-munchers, so grab them and prepare to see how the old folks got it done. Hey, wait… I’m ONE of those old folks, so perhaps I should show myself some more respect. Or maybe not, as that would be a bit too pompous – I kind of wasn’t so good at some of these games back in the day. But practice makes almost perfect, right? Off to get some training in before I fire this one up. 50 push-ups should do. If I survive that part, I’ll be back…

KILLER IS DEAD English Dub Trailer #2: Mondo Zappa’s Badass Adventure Continues…


 
XSEED CONTRACTLovely. There’s really not all that much to say here except Kadokawa Games, grasshopper manufacture and of course, Suda 51 are all on point and of course, Xseed Games NEEDS to be profusely knuckle-smooched for localizing this beautiful mess of a must-buy. Like the rest of Suda’s games I’ve played, I’m looking forward to that off-kilter style and humor that works so well when your head is in the right places. Some fans over-analyze his work so much that I wonder how they can enjoy it. Then I see that they don’t enjoy it as much as they SHOULD because they’re wasting time with all that analyzing. Key to a grasshopper/Suda game? Jump in feet first, controller in hands and enjoy the ride from beginning to end. You wouldn’t get off a moving roller coaster or bungie cord mid-fall to point out every spot where you think those could have been more fun, right? Well, I sure hope not, Superman…

Defiance Launch Trailer: A “New Age” Begins (Crazy Cat Ladies Holding Mice To Come)…


 

It’s here and launch day bumpiness aside when you get too many people playing your MMO at the same time, it seems that DEFIANCE is taking the MMO world by storm as far as a triple platform launch goes. I’m still seeing a bit of confusion from a few people who expected this online-only game to have an offline mode, but it’s good that they’re at least asking about it FIRST and not plunking down sixty bucks because they liked the TV commercials. Of course, having an offline more would have meant MORE people would be playing this on day one, but as I’ve noted previously, that’s up to Trion Worlds if this MMO takes off and users want more of the new world they’ve created (and not as a stupid simple mobile phone or device app). As always, we shall see, but so far, day one looks like the start of something big for both Trion and syfy. 13 days until the show premieres…

Dead Island Riptide TV Spot: Gilligan Wouldn’t Last A Minute, Either…


 

OK, as great as this sequel to Deep Silver and Techland’s hit zombie game looks, now I really, REALLY want to see someone do an official mod that turns this game into that lost Gilligan’s Island episode and makes it out as DLC and/or part of the inevitable Game of the Year edition. “What lost episode?” you ask? Well, you know… the one where the Professor tries to come up with a new beverage made from coconuts and those strange barrels of green, glowing goo that washed up one day. Yeah, THAT episode. Uh, huh… it’ll indeed be BIG fun seeing the Skipper turned into a fat zombie who starts chasing after the rest of the cast, but you just KNOW it’ll be MUCH better if it’s Gilligan who goes undead first and turns on everyone else.

To wit:

SCENE: Outside the Howell’s cabin, night. Spooky music plays on the soundtrack…

SKIPPER: GILLIGAN! Put down those coconuts!
GILLIGAN: Grrrrrrrroooowwwr!
GILLIGAN turns around slowly, the SKIPPER sees that they’re not coconuts he’s holding… but the heads of THURSTON HOWELL and EUNICE WENTWORTH HOWELL. Spooky music grows more dramatic, increasing in tempo…
SKIPPER (shocked): GILLIGAN! What did you DO, little buddy?!
GILLIGAN: Grrrrrrrroooowwwr! (throws heads at SKIPPER, then pounces on him)
SKIPPER: No, Gilligan, NOOOOOOO!! GEEEEYAAAAAAAGH!!!!!

Camera shot pulls away as GILLIGAN tears SKIPPER apart…

(Or something like that…)

New Thief 4 Trailer: Hmmm, Now You Need A New Logo, Too…


 

He’s baaaaack… and before you know it, you’re waking up with a headache, your purse full of gold is long gone and if he needed a disguise and you were the right size, so are your pantaloons. Poor (and now poorer you). That wasn’t some April Fool who clubbed you and cut your purse either. No news on exactly WHEN this one will be all done, but I’d bet that’s the way the man himself wants it. Hell, would YOU tell your mark you were good and ready to swipe their stuff? Then again, a good thief loves a challenge, right? This could get interesting, folks… stay tuned…

EDF 4 3rd Trailer: It Just Got “Classier” In A Big Guy In A Metal Suit Kind of Way…


Earth-Defense-Force-2025_2013_03-28-13_043Holy Cats. That, friends, is the new FENCER class in action here and if this video is any indication, Earth Defense Force fans worldwide will be in for a real treat using this new class. Three more screenshots of this beefy guy are below and below the jump is a big gallery of the fun pre-order DLC bonuses Japanese gamers will get from a few locations the game can be purchased from. If you want to zone out completely on a HUGE gallery of hundreds of EDF images, check out Gematsu’s big, honkin’ page of screens.

Earth-Defense-Force-2025_2013_03-28-13_099 Earth-Defense-Force-2025_2013_03-28-13_002 Earth-Defense-Force-2025_2013_03-28-13_020

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How’s Your Japanese? EDF 4 Message Incoming From D3Publisher! EDF指令本部より緊急通信!


 

Earth-Defense-Force-2025_2013_03-28-13_005OK, I’m only running this here because I’m trapped (TRAPPED, I say!) at home on a sloooooow as molasses Internet connection and can’t upload all those lovely new EDF 2025/EDF 4 screens that Gematsu and another site have been posting over the last few days. Here’s ONE to ogle on the left (all four character classes in a classic hero pose) and I’ll get more up tomorrow with a link to the well over 100 other new screens I’ve been drooling over. The game is looking even better, one of the DLC bonuses (in Japan, at least) is truly bizarre and funny (hopefully we’ll see it here with no explanation, as it’s too goofy to even get into WHY it’s a bonus other than to say it’s an otaku thing). Anyway, if you can figure out that video, good for you. You now know more than a few people who read this site about the upcoming game. Of course, if it’s an April Fool’s joke, that would be even funnier, right?

Defiance “This Place” Trailer: “The First Rule of Fight Club Is…”

 

Well, you most likely KNOW that part already (if you’ve actually seen Fight Club, that is). I think there’s some other unwritten rule later on about NEVER fighting the blue alien who looks like he’s going to break you into five pieces, but whatever. Besides, who reads the manual to anything these days? It’s obviously much worse in the future (and I can only wonder HOW new furniture and bicycles will get put together then – it’ll be kids and wives falling down everywhere thanks to lazier dads not figuring stuff out even more!). Anyway, contrary to what I’ve been posting previously (Oops!), DEFIANCE actually premieres on April 15, 2013 (9pm/8 Central Time) on syfy. That’s Tax day for many here in the US (whee!), so you can cry when you send out those forms and your check for what you owe Uncle Sam (who must be doing a LOT of shopping at QVC or something with all that money he gets) and come home later to feel better in front of a cool-looking new TV show. AND game (which hits stores on April 2), if you’re connected and want to dive into more of the lore in a more interactive manner…

STAR TREK: The Video Game: Shatner’s Back! (In Not Quite the “Arena” Mode You Wanted)…

 

So, who said Shatner wouldn’t be in a new Trek venture? Granted, being stuck in a hilarious trailer for the upcoming Digital Extremes-developed game headed to the PS3 and Xbox 360 (warping into retail on April 23) isn’t exactly the part he probably wanted, but it’s great to see him poke fun at his Kirk and that classic episode here. I have the feeling that Namco bandai Games just got a few extra sales for this one based on this funny ad alone. Hopefully, there will be some hands-on time for me at the press event next week, as I’m dying to see how this one’s turned out…