Yeesh. I’ve heard of vacations from hell, but this is REALLY ridiculous. Granted, the original Dead Island had that whole “island paradise gone to zombie hell” vibe going for it from that first CG trailer everyone fell over backwards over that wasn’t quite what the game was about, but this one looks like it’s got more of a story. And more crazy undead to put down before they eat your skin. Did I mention this game isn’t for kids or those who faint at the word BLOOD or sight of it (even if it’s fake)? Well, it is. So there. Oh, wait…. you fainted dead away, so now I’m typing this to no one. Rats. Well, as long as you didn’t crack your head open when you fell from that chair (and don’t come after me as a zombie), it’s all good…
OK, as great as this sequel to Deep Silver and Techland’s hit zombie game looks, now I really, REALLY want to see someone do an official mod that turns this game into that lost Gilligan’s Island episode and makes it out as DLC and/or part of the inevitable Game of the Year edition. “What lost episode?” you ask? Well, you know… the one where the Professor tries to come up with a new beverage made from coconuts and those strange barrels of green, glowing goo that washed up one day. Yeah, THAT episode. Uh, huh… it’ll indeed be BIG fun seeing the Skipper turned into a fat zombie who starts chasing after the rest of the cast, but you just KNOW it’ll be MUCH better if it’s Gilligan who goes undead first and turns on everyone else.
SCENE: Outside the Howell’s cabin, night. Spooky music plays on the soundtrack…
SKIPPER: GILLIGAN! Put down those coconuts!
GILLIGAN turns around slowly, the SKIPPER sees that they’re not coconuts he’s holding… but the heads of THURSTON HOWELL and EUNICE WENTWORTH HOWELL. Spooky music grows more dramatic, increasing in tempo…
SKIPPER (shocked): GILLIGAN! What did you DO, little buddy?!
GILLIGAN: Grrrrrrrroooowwwr! (throws heads at SKIPPER, then pounces on him)
SKIPPER: No, Gilligan, NOOOOOOO!! GEEEEYAAAAAAAGH!!!!!
Camera shot pulls away as GILLIGAN tears SKIPPER apart…
(Or something like that…)
It figures. The first Dead Island got a surprisingly emotional CG trailer that drew acclaim and major attention to the game, which turned out to be OK, albeit a bit buggy in spots. I actually held out for the recently released Game of the Year retail version after playing about an hour of the original because I knew Deep Silver and developer Techland would fix things up (and add all that DLC content I couldn’t get). Anyway, this new trailer for the sequel is another superb two-hanky CG masterwork which also makes me never want to go anywhere on vacation ever again. Damn undead and their people-chomping ways mucking up everything like that. Imagine that last postcard from the doomed couple in the video: “Having a blast on our trip – Wish you were here!” BOOM.
Hmm… then again, I actually don’t actually believe in zombies at all (thank you science education!), so my ass is safe as the breeze wherever I go. You can hole up with a shotgun, machete and a few thousand cans of beans if you like when the so-called zombie apocalypse hits. Me, I’ll just see some cranky-looking people stumbling around because all the Starbucks in the world will be closed. I’ll just carry a pocketful of coffee beans to toss at them and be able to get away while they’re rolling on the ground fighting each other for that fix.