The Burning [Collector’s Edition]: Once Again, Shout Factory Mutates Into Scream Factory…

Posted on May 15, 2013 by geelw

the burning blu-ray_dvd Man, I haven’t seen The Burning in YEARS, but thankfully, Shout Factory’s Scream Factory arm is bringing it back to life, and on a bonus-filled Blu-Ray/DVD combo pack at that. If you’ve never seen this 1981 cult classic, carve out a space under or behind the couch, pop in this flick and get prepared to lose a lung screaming as the horrifically disfigured camp caretaker Cropsy gets revenge on the teens who accidentally set him ablaze in a prank gone wrong.

Yeah, it’s got some minor to moderate similarities to Friday the 13th (which, along with its sequel lifts some of its bloody murders directly from Mario Bava’s awesome gore classic Twitch of the Death Nerve), but hey, at that time, these horror flicks were being churned out pretty quickly and a little gleeful borrowing here and there wasn’t a crime at all. That and hell, Tom Savini doing the effects on both this and Friday meant you were getting the best Hollywood gore for that ticket money. That and hell, Holly Hunter and Jason Alexander are in this one! Do they survive? Mwah-ha-ha-haaaa… you’ll need to watch and find out!

Anyway, you modern gore fans (aka “Meddling kids!”) who want to see something old farts like me were into back in the day should definitely check this “moldy oldie” from the 80’s out. And yeah, yeah you aged sticklers for gory detail, the original poster art for the film is on the reverse of that new, more colorful cover art. You think Shout Factory’s going to leave you hanging? As always, they’re killing you with kindness…

Random Art: For Freaks’ Sake, This One’s for The Birds…

Posted on March 17, 2013 by geelw

broken wing As much of a horror classic as Tod Browning’s 1932 film Freaks is, that bizarre ending has always rankled me a teeny-tiny bit. Spoiler: that bird lady thing at the end was actually more amusing than shocking to me, especially when stacked up to the real life cast and their assorted actual conditions. Anyway, completely on a lark (ha ha) I did this MS Paint sketch last year as an alternate makeup just for fun. Yeah, yeah, this film will (thankfully) NEVER be remade, but if someone want so try it (and thus be stalked by a few people armed with assorted home-made portable torture devices), here you go. Have fun for as long as it lasts, but sleep with one eye open. I actually overheard a conversation about a “remake” idea in a Starbucks a few months back, but it was a bunch of hipster types hoping someone would take advantage of the fact that reality show is now using “freaks” as a happy entertainment option for us “normals” out in tee vee land. Let’s hope this doesn’t take off, I say…

On a side note, I and many other fans keep hoping against hope that someone tracks down the 26 or so minutes of footage that was chopped out by MGM back in 1932 and restores the film to its original glory.

Hmmm… Who Are Newspaper Comics Aimed At Again?

Posted on March 3, 2013 by geelw

OK, I have a really good sense of humor and I’m a terrible non-prude, but I just HAVE to ask who decided to run these two dopey cartoons on the same day last week (and right above each other). Granted, I don’t read many newspapers much these days thanks to the lack of actual NEWS and focus on overly opinionated “journalists” (read: supremely loony egomaniacs) with an axe to grind trying to whittle anyone they see fit down to size that they don’t happen to like for whatever damn kooky reasons they’re wrong about if they got their heads out of the clouds and ass (amazing how they can do that, huh?) and actually wrote sans bile and other junk in their eyeballs.

But I digress (as usual)… Anyway, Gary Larson was at least regularly funny and stopped doing his fine work when he ran out of steam. These not-so great pretenders are good for a chuckle at best, but the retread rate has gone off the scale, I say. Of course, neither cartoon is really “offensive” at all…but what KID under ten has EVEN read Moby Dick? I guess everyone stares at boobies at some point, so maybe that one works on that level. I can’t tell, as I’m typing this in public and I was distracted… (*beet*… BUSTED!)…

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Random Film of the Week (Corporate Edition): Rollerball

Posted on December 7, 2012 by geelw

So, I’m looking over the notes for my Prometheus plot dissection (which probably won’t be as critical as my picking apart of The Thing from a few months ago), and that fun GE robot ad pops up. While writing up that last post about it, I got to thinking about a few of my sci-fi flicks that had evil corporations running things unto the ground for the purposes of profit and proving class struggle is a useless pursuit.Oh, what a fun time that was (he said, depressingly).

Norman Jewison’s excellent Rollerball was one of the first films that popped into my head (along with Soylent Green and Logan’s Run in case you’re interested) and amusingly enough, it just so happens to have popped up on cable recently. For the younger crowd out there, stay FAR away from the truly terrible 2001 remake and check out the darker, more violent and surprisingly deep 1975 original.

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New Skyfall Trailer: Even More Revealing, But Still A Big Tease…

Posted on July 31, 2012 by geelw

OK, so I’m not following every drop of news about this new Bond film, but that’s because I’m too busy and I really hate ruining whatever surprises are in store by knowing the entire plot, characters and whatnot. That said, this one looks like it’s going to be the most interesting of the three Daniel Craig films (unless they manage to work in the skydiving Queen from last week’s Olympic ceremony!) on a few levels. November 9 is zooming up like that train at the end of the trailer and I’m happy that the film is looking better and better with each new bunch of clips.

Too Much Bondage Leaves My Head Spinning. A Little Skyfall Makes Me Happier

Posted on July 15, 2012 by geelw

So, I’m thirteen films into my 19-flick James Bond 007 marathon (and again, thanks, Encore, but no thanks for running the SAP versions and not the original theatrical formatted flicks, grrrrr) and I’m a bit more disappointed with the middle run of the series than I thought I would be. Nostalgia value aside, seeing all of these films one after another is like getting stabbed to death by an army of ants with really tiny knives. For me, once you get past On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (and realize how good it is), most of the films after it (mostly the Roger Moore era ones) haven’t stood up so well. Sure, Diamonds Are Forever is amusing (to a fault), Live And Let Die makes for a great 9albeit controversial) intro to the Roger Moore era and The Spy Who Loved Me at least tries hard to be ten years younger than it really is. A few of the other Moore films have interesting performances and plot points, but clearly, the series was devolving into campy, self-referential humor at the expense of whatever sensible elements remained.

Yes, I know the four Pierce Brosnan films (which I haven’t seen in a few years, but will get to this week) have great key moments that helped usher in today’s more serious Bond films, so I’m looking forward to seeing them at least once more. That said, the 70’s to 80’s Bond films range from adequate to flat out dumb to trying too hard to be serious before degenerating to the usual plot point of Bind dropping his pants and bedding anything he can before getting conked on the head and delivered to the bad guy’s hideout or some other location where he’ll escape before popping up to surprise the potential world dominating fool and set into motion his usually sightly to highly comical (explosion, falling, impalement, etc.) demise.

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Skyfall Trailer: Could This Be The Best Bond Film Yet?

Posted on May 21, 2012 by geelw

Well, the best MODERN Bond film, so as not to rile the Sean Connery die-hards out there. Hey, I’m old enough to be a fan from that far back, but I’ve always thought Daniel Craig’s version of Bond owes a lot to George Lazenby’s underrated performance in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (which you should check out if you’ve never see it before). Anyway, director Sam Mendes is certainly on the right track from what I’ve glimpsed in this teaser, which hints at an even darker Bond than in the last few Craig films. I guess we’ll see what’s what soon enough…