Come to the Dark Side… I Hear The Coffee’s Pretty Damn Good…

Posted on September 28, 2013 by geelw

And even if it tastes awful, you won’t be complaining to the company head for any reason, guaranteed. “I find your lack of taste buds… disturbing.” Of course, if the Force is strong in this one, it’ll be powerful enough to keep you up through multiple work shifts as an underpaid Imperial Stormtrooper with ONLY a few side effects. For example, your aim with a blaster will always be a bit off (especially when in large groups), you’ll be more susceptible to Light Force powers (“These aren’t the droids we’re looking for, duuuuhhhhh…”) and in some cases, people may even accuse you of being a little short for a stormtrooper.

Hmmm. I haven’t tried this brew myself yet, but I’m definitely intrigued by that package for some strange reason. If you’re also a weak-minded fool with somewhat of a caffeine habit. Let the Force guide your mouse hand as if it’s on an Ouija board over to Think Geek where you can score a bag of Dark Side Roast for a mere $14.99. And if you can’t make coffee to save your life… well, there are positions open for Imperial spies who can dress up as Rebel Alliance secretaries and try to cause havoc from the inside. If you can’t kill them with kindness.. you may as well let your lousy coffee do the job in a lot less time, correct?

Disney Is Turning That Movie Night Into Madness…

Posted on September 15, 2013 by geelw

Oh, hell no. Or, Come on, REALLY? Yikes. Granted, this second screen experience thing will only be at selected theaters, so there’s that. On the other hand, what the hell is Disney thinking here? This high tech mash-up of Rocky Horror Picture Show and Winky Dink is going to piss a lot of people off who go in happy and smiling with the kids thinking it’s going to be sooooo cooool. only to realize that ONE person with an iPad in a theater is a nuisance… but a few hundred with them is a whole new distracting light source and aural experience you DON’T want to sit through. That and why not just allow people who already OWN this on home video to download that app, stay at home and not have to go through hell as a lab rat for this experiment in terror. Nothing like a theater full of squealing, singing and arguing kids with their hipster doofus parental units (or anyone else with kids who buys in thinking this will be any kind of thine resembling FUN) to make your evening REALLY “special”, right? You’ve been warned… this has been a public service announcement.

SCIENCE! Let’s Conduct A Little Experiment, Shall We?

Posted on August 13, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, Ipmangas!)

Here’s a simple test for those who think different types of media directly affect one’s behavior in every single case. Have the kids (or yourself) watch NOTHING but this classic Humphrey Bear short for an entire month and see if you become a lot less of a litterbug (and really great at doing cartoon dances). If you’re still tossing that fast food wrapper or soda can to the street or not cleaning up after the dog when you walk it, then you can shut up about little Johnny potentially becoming a mass murderer after he plays five seconds of a game rated above his age (which he shouldn’t be doing anyway if you’re a decent enough parental unit).

If, on the other hand, you’re humming that bouncy tune from the cartoon while scooping up trash wherever you go (and being very careful with any matchbooks you find)… well, you can throw every entertainment device in your home into that trash bin as well and go burn ALL of the books in your home while you’re at it. Can’t be TOO picky about where the kid will pick up a violent idea, right?

DuckTales Remastered Now Available: It’s Time to get Quackin’!

Posted on August 13, 2013 by geelw

OK, it’s finally here and it’s a really rainy day outside (well, at least it is here, bleh!). So… you know what to do, folks. PROTIP: Play on Easy first. This way, you get to learn the levels and be prepared, as the game gets pretty darn old-school tough on the harder difficulties. That’s not my review, though – that will go up around the weekend. Shutting up now, as I have some piles of gold to collect for my bank vault/swimming pool…

DuckTales Remastered: Himalayas, Here We Come (Woo-Ooo!)…

Posted on July 20, 2013 by geelw

Capcom shows off their upcoming revisit to the retro days reboot with this nice long look at the redesigned Himalayas stage. By the way, no stupidly cute cartoon bunnies were hurt in this video, the already angry goats got what they deserved and that big and annoying Yeti boss? Well, he was trying to make duck cutlets out of Uncle Scrooge, so he had to go down hard. MORAL: Don’t mess with a rich canard and his fancy cane bouncing skills, folks. All that swimming around in that huge money pool bank vault of his has given him some MEGA strength in that feathered old body. Tough bird, indeed…

DuckTales Remastered Duckumentary: WayForward Gets Me Looking Backward…

Posted on July 11, 2013 by geelw

OK, now I need to unearth my NES and that copy of DuckTales I have buried in a bin somewhere so I can do some comparing. I’d been meaning to do so for a while, but I keep putting it off for assorted reasons. This “duckumentary” did help me decide to finally get off my butt and sit back on my butt once I find everything, so that’s a good thing, right? Alright, I’m not THAT lazy, people! I walked over a mile today already!

E3 2013: Castle of Illusion Trailer: From Genesis to a Remake Full of Revelations…

Posted on June 24, 2013 by geelw

If you’re ancient enough to remember the Sega Genesis version of this classic Disney game, you’re probably pretty pleased to see it back and looking pretty amazing. In a way, it’s too bad this is going to be a digital download only release, as I could see this doing spectacular on a disc with a ton of bonus features, the original game and perhaps (as it’s a Disney property) Capcom’s upcoming DuckTales Remastered just to get people slipping in puddles of drool as they ran to their nearest game shop to pick up their copies. I know I’d run over a pack of old ladies with puppies if they were in my way. OK, I’d more likely leap over them or run around them than stomp on a few bunions. Those old ladies can be pretty spry and those swinging canes and yapping dogs kind of hurt when swung at one’s head a few too many times…

E3 2013: Capcom @ E3: Hurricane Kick, Nostalgia Punch!

Posted on June 12, 2013 by geelw

It might seem like a small lineup to some, but it’s definitely coming on strong and packing a wallop for other, more longtime Capcom fans. I don’t even LIKE Super Smash Bros. (so sue me), but seeing Mega Man in there at the end and hearing those old 8-bit sound effects bought a big grin to my face. All I know is that shiny new HD version of the character had better be in a new game at some point next year that’s a mix of classic and current gameplay. Something like a Mega Man Legends Remix HD would be a REAL surprise if it could be made so, that’s all I’m saying… get to it already, guys.

As for Dungeons & Dragons: Chronicles of Mystara? It’s going to be awesome, although I need to wait a few more days until my Steam review code can be activated, as Steam hasn’t actually uploaded the game yet (boo!). Oh well – I’m too busy to get hooked on something new this week, so this is probably a good thing I’m NOT playing right now…

E3 2013: DuckTales Remastered: Launchpad Lands in the Amazon and Transylvania…

Posted on June 6, 2013 by geelw

Woo-ooooo! Yeah, I played the Transylvania demo level already at the Capcom event last month (it’s quite amazing how WayForward recaptured the feeling of the original and has enhanced it even more), but seeing it once more makes me smile. That Amazon level looks as tough as ever, but with some nice twists. I’m allowing this happy-happy joy-joy stuff take over instead of the news that all my (and your) emails and other online conversations have been (and are) pored over by the federales for security reasons. Bleh. Well, I should be a LOT more annoyed, but I guess I’ll leave that to the bloggers who do better at focusing on politics. Me, I just want to toss them all onto a slow boat to the sun, Wooo-oooooo!

Fantasia: Music Evolved: Harmonix Has A Hit Here (But I Bet The Real Yen Sid Is Rolling In His Freezer…)

Posted on June 4, 2013 by geelw

Ho-kay. I’m so behind the times in the modern music thing that I initially thought this was going to be a game featuring that former American Idol winner who fell on hard times (pay your taxes, people!) getting a second chance in a new IP where players got to sing in front of their KINECT-enabled TV’s. Boy was I wrong. Look, I’ll give Harmonix every benefit of the doubt because they’ve made some great and innovative music and dance-themed games for a number of consoles, but this trailer is pretty lousy because it doesn’t say “Disney” to me at all – it says “desperation” for whomever got behind this and forgot all about the original movie and that still impressive classic animation/classical music combination.

Yes, I get the whole argument about tuning in to modern tastes, and YES, poking about for previews has revealed that the game has a few interesting aspects that make it sort of a cross between Child of Eden and some sort of exploration/collection-fest. That said, as a fan of traditional animation and more types of music than the not yet completely revealed track list that’s seemingly made up of later 20th to more current hits, I have to pull the emergency brake and fall onto the heaving bosom of a tutu-clad cartoon hippo for comedic effect. Come on, Harmonix – there’s a great library of classical tunes that deserve being introduced to folks who have no clue what an orchestra is.

Yeah, this will probably do well and make people like me warm up the oven to pop in another frozen crow pie, but no classic Disney magic means… no classic Disney magic, period. Bruno Mars and classic Queen are for listening to when you’re dancing in the shower (watch that soapy floor!) or driving to the mall with the kids (as they’re screaming at you to change the station because Freddie Mercury’s voice freaks them out). I guess this being an exclusive for the Xbox 360 and Xbox One means the chances of a Wii U game that’s closer to the original film (or hell, even Fantasia 2000) in tone. But, whatever – maybe I’m just old fashioned or something…