More Carrie? OK, Double Jeopardy With A “Telekinetic” Twist!

Posted on October 10, 2013 by geelw

One clip, a quick TV spot and that dopey prank pulled here in NYC on some unsuspecting citizens strolling into a coffee shop. Of course, in that latter gag, my brain saw the holes in this one right off the bat. If that’s a neighborhood place that’s been open a while, wouldn’t any regulars NOTICE that new wall there or be miffed that their favorite spot was replaced by a wall. Okay, maybe the place was shut for construction with a sign on the door or whatever. Also, a few of those people look as if they were bought in by the studio to act surprised at the action. Granted, most look genuinely shocked, but in this damn city, SOMEONE would have called the cops even on the first scare.

Yeah, I’d have been that ONE guy standing there at the cashier laughing and looking for wires on that guy and wall while still trying to get my damn coffee with a hearty “Hey crazy lady! take that shoving tables crap down the block to McDonalds!” Hell, I’d have even offered her a nice, tasty plain aspirin (I keep a bottle in my bag at all times). Yeah, I’m VERY hard to market anything to. I just like what I like and try to get you do like it as well…

Carrie opens nationwide (except the theater where I live that’s closed. Stupid theater!) on October 18, 2013.

Carrie “Get In Your Closet” Clip: Oh, We’ve ALL Been There Before, Right?

Posted on October 7, 2013 by geelw

Yeah, so… who HASN’T had to “go to the closet” at some point in their lives? Poor Carrie above only has those telekinetic powers and a nutso mommy to worry about. I know us folks in the real world need to toss ourselves in and shut the door for a while when we pull off those major boners and need a time out while the walls fall in. Say, did you know a nice clean closet with a few blankets tossed on the floor and lots of long coats and shirts and such makes a PERFECT nap spot? Bill collectors, pissed off parents and anyone else can look up and down and all around for you but that’s THE last place they’ll ever, ever look. Of course, if you have a pet at home, you’re screwed plus tax, as those cute little bums will always sniff you out. Hell, you could have the most stoned out, never ever fetched a darn thing in its life lazy ass Scooby-Don’t as a pet and as soon as you get into that closet, he’s nosing open the door to lay on top of those blankets you’re under. Bad dog! BAD!

Um, oh yeah… Carrie is in theaters October 18. I can’t see it because I have no movie theater near me now. Maybe I’ll go take a nap in the closet instead…

Shout Factory’s The Vincent Price Collection: Timely, Indeed (Warts and All)…

Posted on October 7, 2013 by geelw

Someone hipped me to this upcoming Shout Factory box set of six classic horror flicks featuring the late, great Vincent Price (who’s also Star of the Month on TCM all October) and I had to give it a thumb and a three-quarters up just for that lovely cover art alone. Oh, alright, the six sick flicks here are all top picks (and on Blu-Ray for the first time, I believe). But I’d still have to gripe out a grape sized whine about the total lack of love for Doctor Phibes Rises Again, which SHOULD have been grafted into this sextet just because it’s the darn sequel to The Abominable Doctor Phibes and yes, I’m STILL waiting my ass off for Tim Burton to announce he’s remaking both Phibes philms at the same time like Peter Jackson did with his epic The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Granted, Phibes’ offbeat mix of camp and 70’s era gore “lite” isn’t anywhere on the same level as Tolkein’s works, folks. But hey, I grew up glued to the tube with many of Price’s films and those two hold a very special place in my still beating heart. Hey, it’s not as if I’m asking for Scream and Scream Again, right? RIGHT? If you ever see that one, you’ll understand, kids…

Anyway, if you’re too lazy to click links, that collection costs $55, features tons of special features and the six films are as follows:

THE PIT & THE PENDULUM

THE MASQUE OF THE RED DEATH

THE HAUNTED PALACE

THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER

THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES

WITCHFINDER GENERAL (aka THE CONQUEROR WORM)

Who needs to go out on Halloween and get a tummy ache from some lousy cheap candy bought at the dollar store? Get this Blu-Ray set, pop up that dried out corn display you’ve had on the table for years and sprinkle some chili powder on it, slap a few razor blades into a pomegranate (apples are SO last century!) pull up a chair and veg out! Friends optional, but go “borrow” some (have some rope and gags handy) so you can show them a good time before you kick them out in a more bewildered but appreciative state (like Maine or maybe California, ha ha)…

Carrie “Unique” TV Spot: Well, If It Weren’t a Remake… It Sure Would Be.

Posted on September 26, 2013 by geelw

Har de har. OK, it may be a darn good remake and all, but I still think Brian DePalma’s version will be the go-to version of Carrie I’ll always prefer for a few reasons. Sure, this new version has Chloe Grace Moretz and Julianne Moore in it as leads, but I can’t see Julianne saying “dirtypillows” without a snicker starting (and the fact that we’ve all see her dirtypillows in a few films, hee hee hee! Hooray for indie films!). Oh, rats… now that’s got me going and the Booby Express song is playing in the background (and too LOUD at that!). Argh! This is SUPPOSED to be a “serious” post! Oh well… done in once more. *Sigh*…

Humor? So, Microsoft Says NOT To Stand That Xbox One On Its Side… Or Else.

Posted on September 20, 2013 by geelw

Given that the current model Xbox 360 can indeed be placed upright (although it can lead to disc scratching if the surface it’s placed on isn’t perfectly level and subject to being bumped into while playing a game or watching a DVD), it’s a given that some owners of the upcoming Xbox One will be looking to do the same with Microsoft’s new system.

However, according to this GameSpot UK article, a company representative says vertical orientation isn’t how the new console was designed. Of course, there will be a ton of hard-headed or space in that entertainment center challenged gamers who won’t follow the company’s “suggestions” at all or try out that standing position just once to “see if it works”, and you can never stop those folks from doing what they do.

On the other hand, I personally feel that there’s another, far sinister reason they don’t want you to stand that thing up… especially if you happen to do so and place that new, improved Kinect on the now top part of the system and power the thing on. To wit (actual test footage stolen from a Microsoft test facility):

(thanks, Donald Carten!)

Remember, you’ve been warned!

Random Film of the Week: The Honeymoon Killers

Posted on September 10, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, neondreams25!)

While it’s not a horror film, Leonard Kastle’s The Honeymoon Killers manages to be a fairly intense drama/black comedy mix that gets your attention with its true crime story, stark black and white photography and excellent performances from the two leads. This is a film that gets under your skin right away with Gustav Mahler’s intense music setting an oppressively dreary tone for the story of Ray Fernandez and Martha Beck, aka The Lonely Hearts Killers, as they go about their nasty work of lightening the landscape of too-trusting mostly elderly ladies looking for love in all the wrong places.

Kastle, in his first and only studio film, managed to make an instant classic that’s also a fantastic low-budget flick as well as a pretty grim viewing experience if you’ve never seen it before. That said, there’s also a bit of very dark humor to be found here and the movie is a pretty compelling viewing experience thanks to the near constant level of suspense tempered with a near constant sense of dread…

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Random Film of the Week: Kind Hearts and Coronets

Posted on August 5, 2013 by geelw

Did Ealing Studios ever make a bad comedy? I’ve yet to see one, and the streak they were on brought some of the most memorable flicks to lucky audiences that are still great today. One of the best black comedies ever made and featuring Alec Guinness in an amazing eight roles, 1949’s Kind Hearts and Coronets is a truly classic film that’s still as effectively dryly hilarious and fun to watch as ever. If anyone tells you that movies with voice overs that spell things out are “bad” films, sit them down with this one and watch them choke on that thought as they die laughing.

The film manages to be great despite that running narration by its murderous lead character Louis Mazzini, the tenth Duke of Chalfont (Dennis Price) as he retells his family history and lays out how he’s dispatched the assorted surviving members of a wealthy family in a quest for revenge, a title and the affections of two ladies who drop in and out of his life. Granted, you’ll feel a lot more for Mazzini than you do for his victims in the D’Ascoyne family, most of whom seem somewhat deserving of their assorted fates…

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KRONOS: 1957’s Alien Planet Eater Makes For An Interesting Muse…

Posted on July 29, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, ScienceFictionFLIX!)

Another favorite sci-fi flick from my younger days (OK, it still holds up today on a few fronts), Kurt Neumann’s 1957 film KRONOS is a really well-made and fun cheapie that benefits from some prescient scripting, pretty decent effects work (some nice for the era animation of the titular massive alien energy accumulator in a few quick shots), a snappy running time and a few unintentional chuckles from the usual overacting cast members emoting with relish about the over-sized and unstoppable alien threat of the week. Anyway, back in 2011 I was dinking around in MS Paint and had a sudden flash of inspiration to do a goofy tribute image and here you go. I guess it’s technically a piece of “fan art” although I have to chuckle at the “fan” part as it’s not exactly something I do on a regular basis. Yeah, I guess this gets added to the Random Film of the Week pile at some point. Feel free to check it out, as yep – it comes highly recommended.

Saturday Night Dead: Spending the Evening @Home With a Few Friends…

Posted on July 13, 2013 by geelw

Whee. I’ve actually only seen the US edit of Dawn of the Dead, so when I was offered a copy of this Ultimate edition by a friend who had an extra copy, I jumped on it. OK, short post here because I’m now off to see what I missed in those other two versions and of course, watch the hell out of those special features so I can geek out on the stuff I didn’t already know. Yeah, my Saturday nights are less (or more) exciting than yours depending on what you consider “exciting”… Off to watch the Dead now… back in a bit.

You Always See the Weird Stuff on a Friday, Right?

Posted on July 12, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, GoodOldDaysReturns!)

Well, you USED to see a hell of a lot MORE weird stuff in person without a screen in your face before we became a “social” nation where everyone hunkered down over a device and broadcast their Friday fish, bad dance moves and drunken escapades for all the world to see (only to then whine and complain when those pictures and other media got sucked up by the privacy-eating 800lb gorilla in the room we were warned about a long time ago). Privacy needs to become the new black, I say. Anyway, if you’re staying at home with your camera off, let Peter Lorre entertain you… what, you didn’t know he could warble out a tune? Well, here you go – you learn something new every day, huh?