I actually don’t do much on my birthday other than pore over whatever greetings sent my way (and this year has been good for people sending well wishes), while trying to stay out of trouble (so far, so good). It’ll be a light dinner (wait, pizza is light? It is when it’s your birthday!) and a glass of Chianti later tonight and maybe a movie or two, one of which may or may not be this 1981 slasher flick with the somewhat loyal cult following.
I’m aged enough to have first seen this one back in 1981 when it was initially released and while it’s got some effective, offbeat murders and a few cast members of note, it’s far from the best the genre has to offer. That said, it is fun to put together the plot’s parts and uncover the killer as you go, even though the film seems to want to surprise you with a twisteroo near the finale that may or may not make you want to stab someone…
Yeah, yeah, yeah… TCM shows this a few times a year, but sometimes it’s just nice to own a movie if you happen to not want to rely on a channel (or worse, a streaming video service) to deliver the goods. There’s just something lovely and delicious about popping a disc into a player, sitting back and letting the film in question do its stuff and Bava’s horror classic certainly has PLENTY of stuff. I just find it amusing that as absolutely gorgeous as Barbara Steele was (and is, as she’s still with us, last I checked), in a number of her films, she’s buried under makeup that makes her look pretty horrific. But hey, that’s one reason she’s loved by many fans of classic horror flicks I guess.
As for Raiders, it was $2.50 new, I needed another copy and didn’t care if it was on Blu-Ray or not. I actually hadn’t seen it in a while and HATE watching it on AMC because of all those dumb interruptions and the picture quality is terrible to my eyes. One actually needs NO excuse to own this film, as it’s something you can pop on and loop all day as background noise while you’re doing stuff around the house. “I dunno, I’m making this up as I go!” may become your mantra after a day of this film, that’s for sure…
Thanks to George Lucas, Philp Kaufman and Lawrence Kasdan with a grand assist from director Steven Spielberg (and of course, the great Harrison Ford’s performance), this one’s easy to fall into and get hooked on right from the moment the Paramount logo fades into that mountain and a big grin spreads on your face. I also find this intro hilarious because those old serials the film was derived from were divided into chapters only a few minutes long, so this would have never been allowed. Anyway, this is one of the most perfect film openings that sets the tone for what’s to come a few minutes later in that trap-packed cave and later, the wilder globe-hopping adventure to come that’s still one of the most re-watchable films ever. I saw Raiders on day one of its release here in NYC and many times since because while it’s far from flawless, it just never fails to entertain in every respect. That’s one part of what makes a true classic movie hero, I’d say…
But here they go, trying to convince you you need convincing:
Look, if you’ve never seen Stanley Kramer’s It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World by now, you NEED to and Criterion’s five-disc Blu-Ray is a must buy, period.
As for Michael Mann’s Thief, yeah, it’s a more modern classic as well as a brilliant film that’s a great keeper.
So yeah, short post because it’s snowing like hell and they’re kicking people out of the library. Go buy one or both of these and thank me later. I hate you, Criterion for making me want to spend more money. Boo. And Yay. You’re just TOO damn good at what you do these days…
Hollywood just did not know what to do with Sylvia Kristel. By the time the Dutch actress made it to America a few years after becoming a worldwide star (well, everywhere except here in the US) from her appearance in and as Emmanuelle and two sequels, she ended up working in a few American movies that ranged from passable to flat out wretched. 1981’s Private Lessons is one of those flat out wretched ones, a “sex comedy” that’s not erotic or amusing at all, but pretty unsettling and when seen in light of modern views of its subject matter, just plain wrong.
Of course, I have to confess that I saw this way back when it was released with some like-minded friends and we though it was going to be the thrill of the late summer only to end up crawling out of the theater in need of a shower and a Men In Black style memory wipe. There’s just a layer of head-shaking offensiveness here that only those with low to no morals would find “thrilling” or even remotely “sexy”. Then again, I don’t want to make poke at someone’s particular proclivities ’til they pop. If this dreck does it for your own tastes, more power to you then. On the other hand, given that real people have gone to real jails for doing what happens here in real life, that fine line between movie fantasy and stark reality is stomped on and wiped away long before this trash-fest is over…
I saw The Black Hole on the first day it was released and was pretty darn disappointed because I felt Disney blew an opportunity to make a more cerebral sci-fi film along the lines of a Forbidden Planet or a 2001: A Space Odyssey in favor of what was more or less a hobbled remake of 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea with dashes of Star Wars, Moby Dick, and a few other bits borrowed from other classic and not so classic books and movies. It’s clearly NOT a “family film” despite the sci-fi/western shoot ’em up moments and two stupid trash can robots with big cartoon eyes that can’t be ignored as to how stupid they look mixed in with the more serious elements.
Thanks to the film not knowing which way to go tonally (and sorry, those robots never mesh with the dark mood and doom-filled dialog), what you have is an often grand looking, intentionally gloom-draped but sloppy sci-fi pastiche that’s too scary for the little kids those dopey robots were made for and too full of decent ideas better executed decades earlier to be a “great” movie. Not counting the awful “science” on display (it gets a pass from me because no one should go to a sci-fi flick expecting actual science!) I’d call it “adequate” at best. That said, there’s a niggling buzz in the back of my head that’s never left even after repeated re-viewings as recent as a few months ago. Then again, I was 17 when I first saw this and thanks to a tired ticket seller and a few early showings had already been exposed to Ridley Scott’s still brilliant ALIEN two years earlier, so my wider-eyed and more innocent eight-year old self was long buried by that point…
Okay, I’ll admit it. I saw Sharky’s Machine with a few friends back in 1981 just so we could see a massive train-wreck in action. Of course, we were all surprised that the Burt Reynolds-directed film was not only quite good and well made, but actually a lot darker in tone than expected. There are also plenty of scenery-chewing funny bits in here as well, but none of them come at Burt’s expense and very few come from him (another surprise!).
Those bits of comic relief come primarily from the supporting cast made up of some of those “Where do I know HIM from?” actors (Bernie Casey, Brian Keith, John Fielder and Charles Durning among others) while Burt underplays Sharky as a moody and determined cop out to make the best of his earlier demotion who discovers love, death and dismemberment in a few strange places. Only two of those things actually happen TO him during the film, but I’ll keep you in suspense here (for the most part) just because I want you to check this one out at some point…
For the record, I hated THE HAND when I first saw it and don’t like it much more today. Not because it’s not scary at all (its one or two jump scare moments and the nutty ending work for me), and not because Michael Caine isn’t “givin’ it ‘is awl” (heh) as a strip cartoonist who loses his drawing hand in a freak accident, gets a prosthetic replacement and soon has a bit of a psychological breakdown afterwards that involves a few dips into murder. Nope, Caine is fine and creepy here as Jon Lansdale and in fact, the other actors do a mostly fine job with Stone’s script (based on the Marc Brandel novel “The Lizard’s Tail”).
My big beef with the movie is how very, very little of Barry Smith’s outstanding comic art (created specifically for the film, mind you) is seen once the main credits have finished rolling. It’s a shame because the films isn’t quite the horror film it needs to be despite trying very hard to bridge the gap between low budget indie and major studio first effort (it was Stone’s first time behind the camera on a feature film). Granted, this isn’t supposed to be a Smith biopic or anything like that and I eventually saw a chunk of the art in an interview Smith did around when the film was released or so (and it’s some beautiful work). But for all the story’s emphasis on Lansdale’s Mandro character being so important (hell, no hand, bro means NO Mandro!), we never see that much of the artwork up close or find out much about Mandro other than the art looks like Marvel’s Conan the Barbarian when Smith’s art really matured near the end of his run on the book… Continue reading →
So, I was sitting around with a few friends a few weeks back talking about movies and such when the subject of Christmas and holiday-themed movies came up and yes, everyone agreed that It’s A Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, A Christmas Story and a few other classics were all going to be watched at some point during the Season of Greetings. Interestingly enough, a few very unconventional titles got mentioned during this conversation to the point that I decided to toss a few of these films at you in a post and see what you think.
For some strange (well, not so strange) reasons, there are a lot of very non-holiday films on some people’s Holiday viewing schedules with most set during the winter or with cold weather as a big part of their plots (but not always). Anyway, as I see you’re wearing those dodgy jammies and overly fuzzy slippers you got yesterday as gifts and have that cup of “eggnog “at the ready, let’s get started with three or four for now and pick up some others in a future post…
Every once in a while, I get to thinking that parts of my boring life would make an interesting book, but thankfully, I haven’t done a damn thing about that. Sure, I’ve had adventures in babysitting, silenced a few lambs (hey, they were bugging me!) and maybe even raided a lost ark here and there, but in general, I really have no shocking stories of drug-fueled hotel trashing (well, there’s ONE story, but it wasn’t drugs, wasn’t in a hotel room and guess who had to clean up afterwards AND go to work the next day?), scandalous encounters with ladies of the opposite sex or anything like that. However, I have had some really bizarre jobs that kind of fit what I’m doing here on this blog-o, so hell, I may as well tell this long, dull story before I go and decide to forget the damn thing happened…
That clip above is from a 1968 Spanish horror film called La Marca del Hombre Lobo (Mark of the Wolfman)*, known outside of Spain as Hell’s Creatures: Dracula and the Werewolf, The Nights of Satan and Frankenstein’s Bloody Terror. I believe the latter title was exclusive to the US version of the film and note if you please that it’s the only title that mentions Frankenstein. Unfortunately, there’s not a Frankenstein to be found in the film… at least not in the original version. Apparently, the US producer had some legal issues with a different Frankenstein film he was trying to distribute, but snapped up this import and had an oddball animated sequence added in that combined the Frankenstein and Wolfman myths and brought the world… WOLFSTEIN!
Yeah, it’s about as silly as it sounds (and once again, I’ll need to do a Random Film of the Week on this one, as it’s got some interesting stuff going for it), but that’s not what were here to talk about. Anyway, back in 1981, 3D films were making a comeback and in addition to new movies coming from assorted major and independent studios, plenty of older 3D films were pegged for a second shot at potential box office success. If you’re read that link above, you’ve most likely guessed that a certain monster flick just so happened to have a 3D print floating around that, while not in the best quality, would probably be good enough to cash in on the revived craze for the gimmick before its shelf life expired. Don’t worry – we’re getting to the good stuff, folks. Keep reading… Continue reading →
I actually don’t do much on my birthday other than pore over whatever greetings sent my way (and this year has been good for people sending well wishes), while trying to stay out of trouble (so far, so good). It’ll be a light dinner (wait, pizza is light? It is when it’s your birthday!) and a glass of Chianti later tonight and maybe a movie or two, one of which may or may not be this 1981 slasher flick with the somewhat loyal cult following.
"DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!" 