The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug TV Spots 1 & 2: Only A Year (Or Less) ‘Til Cable!

OK, don’t shoot me, movie people. I’ve decided to wait until this one pops up on cable TV, as the first film is (not so surprisingly) premiering later this month (on HBO, I think). So much for the normal waiting time that used to be at least a year or so after a major film hit theaters. At this point, it’ll seem to some as if the only reason to go to the movies is just to get out of the house and see a flick on something larger than that already too large HDTV you may own (or the big wall you project movies on). OK, widescreen is also a good reason, but most new films are ending up premiering in that theatrical format to the point that I get annoyed when I see a recent or older film that SHOULD be in that aspect ratio run as a crappy pan & scan version. B to the O to the O, cable and movie people who still do that crap. Even an old analog set can play a widescreen movie in letterbox format, so enough with the old versions already, I say. The ONLY films that need to fill up my screen like that are the classics TCM shows that weren’t originally shot that way. OK, old cartoons and classic TV get a pass as well.

Of course, if you’re impatient or just love seeing films on a big screen with hordes of smelly humans around you, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug opens in theaters on December 13, 2013. Everyone else, set your clocks…

Dustforce Trailer: This Sneaky Sweepy Game Could Lead To Good Clean Fun…

I actually haven’t played Hitbox Team’s Dustforce yet thanks to my Steam Library being already packed with stuff I haven’t gotten to yet and the fact that I simply do not live on Steam like a lot of folks who swear by the service do. I’ve got a good 30 or so other consoles here and believe it or else, I play a few of them every month when I get the time, so digital games are generally low on the totem pole unless they’re highly recommended or I get a review code popping up in my inbox. That said, this looks pretty fun, quite amusing and right up my nostalgic alley on a few fronts. It’s also going to be a game I’ll recommend to cranky adults who say games are DIRECTLY responsible for all sorts of behavior. If that’s true, then I say forcing your kids to play this until they plotz will make them the cleanest kids EVER. You won’t even need to ask them to do the dishes, sweep up or clean that mucky oven out. You’ll open your mouth to speak, but *Poof!*, it’ll get DONE before a letter leaves your lips!

Dustforce arrives on Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and PlayStation Vita this January. Oh yeah – don’t get mad at Capcom that this isn’t on the Wii U, kids. They’re only PUBLISHING the game. If you want to fire off a missive of cranky “importance” go bug the folks at Hitbox Team for not having a Wii U dev kit or whatever.

Strider NYCC Trailer: Hiryu Go Again!

Capcom and developer Double Helix are counting on a combination of classic old school hard gameplay and a fan base who actually remembers the arcade classic or other versions of Strider to make this reboot a big hit and I think they’re on the right track. So far, the combination of lush 2D and 3D visuals, familiar gameplay with some nice twists and what I’m hearing is a high level of challenge should propel this to some decent scores and sales on anything it’s released on. Sadly, there’s no Wii U version (yet), but hopefully this error will be rectified sooner than later. Those Wii U owners tend to get mighty cranky when they feel they’re being screwed over, that’s for sure…

Gallery: Hello Kitty Kruisers (Wii U)

HelloKitty_WalkI’ve found that one of the big secrets to enjoying life is smiling more and anything Sanrio is usually quite good for getting a grin going, no matter what your mood is. Austin-based Scarab Entertainment knows this, so they’re cooking up a fun family friendly kart racer for the Wii U and mobile devices (with other platforms TBA) called Hello Kitty Kruisers, set for a Q4 2013 release from publisher Bergsala Lightweight.

Granted, I’m betting the bulk of you fist-pumping, caffeine swigging uber-core gamers are probably cringing from all the bright colors searing your eyeballs and rainbow juice splashing onto your keyboards scaring that mouse you were clicking under your seat. But, hey… I say everyone needs a too cute for words game in their libraries just to break up the monotony of grays, browns, greens and whatever color big explosions are.

Besides, EVERYONE loves Hello Kitty – they just don’t all admit it in public. For those of you immune to the charms of Miss Five Apples Tall (weight, three apples!), you’d better put on those sunglasses now if you dislike bright colors in super shiny HD, folks – things are about to get Kitty up in here:

HK_Kruisers_01 HK_Kruisers_02 HK_Kruisers_05 HK_Kruisers_08 HK_Kruisers_09 HK_Kruisers_10

Screens above, press release below the jump.

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Random Art: Another From The Vaults, Fan Art Division…

Dark Horse Melange 

Did I post this old art already? Who knows? I don’t think I did, but I can’t sleep tonight (well, this morning) and needed to do something before I went bananas. Anyway, this is a scan of a bad photocopy of postcard fan art I did for Dark Horse Comics back around 1994.I did a bunch of these in black and white and color and I believe all got published in a few issues of Diamond Previews catalogs over the course of a year or so. I haven’t done much color art since, but I’m tempted every so often. I’m not a big fan of digital color myself (well, I can’t do it very well), so if I do dive back into this illustration thing, it’ll be old school watercolor and mixed media for me. Hmm… I’m feeling a bit sleepier just typing this post, so perhaps this is working after all…

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Carrie “Get In Your Closet” Clip: Oh, We’ve ALL Been There Before, Right?

Yeah, so… who HASN’T had to “go to the closet” at some point in their lives? Poor Carrie above only has those telekinetic powers and a nutso mommy to worry about. I know us folks in the real world need to toss ourselves in and shut the door for a while when we pull off those major boners and need a time out while the walls fall in. Say, did you know a nice clean closet with a few blankets tossed on the floor and lots of long coats and shirts and such makes a PERFECT nap spot? Bill collectors, pissed off parents and anyone else can look up and down and all around for you but that’s THE last place they’ll ever, ever look. Of course, if you have a pet at home, you’re screwed plus tax, as those cute little bums will always sniff you out. Hell, you could have the most stoned out, never ever fetched a darn thing in its life lazy ass Scooby-Don’t as a pet and as soon as you get into that closet, he’s nosing open the door to lay on top of those blankets you’re under. Bad dog! BAD!

Um, oh yeah… Carrie is in theaters October 18. I can’t see it because I have no movie theater near me now. Maybe I’ll go take a nap in the closet instead…

Oops. I Forgot Some Adventure Time 3DS Screens Last Month…

Title_ScreenOK, this is a sort of filler post, but I did forget to add these to that Adventure Time: Explore The Dungeon Because I DON’T KNOW! screenshots for the Nintendo 3DS in that preview I wrote up not too long ago. I’m still flipping a coin about whether to buy a new 2DS or a bigger and more expensive 3DS XL to play this on.

On one hand, cheap is always good and that 2DS and its kid-friendly design (it’s targeted to 5 and 6 year olds!) will make me the envy of the playground parent set (er, not that I hang out at playgrounds or with parents, mind you). On the other hand, that more expensive XL is MUCH better for my eyesight thanks to the nice and big screen. Decisions, decisions… well, it’s not exactly earth-shaking in importance at all, so worry not your pretty little heads about me this time. I think I’ll work it out just fine…

Candy_Kingdom_Hub Cinnamon_Bun_and_Skeletons Lumpy_Space_Princess

Shout Factory’s The Vincent Price Collection: Timely, Indeed (Warts and All)…

The Vincent Price CollectionSomeone hipped me to this upcoming Shout Factory box set of six classic horror flicks featuring the late, great Vincent Price (who’s also Star of the Month on TCM all October) and I had to give it a thumb and a three-quarters up just for that lovely cover art alone. Oh, alright, the six sick flicks here are all top picks (and on Blu-Ray for the first time, I believe).  But I’d still have to gripe out a grape sized whine about the total lack of love for Doctor Phibes Rises Again, which SHOULD have been grafted into this sextet just because it’s the darn sequel to The Abominable Doctor Phibes and yes, I’m STILL waiting my ass off for Tim Burton to announce he’s remaking both Phibes philms at the same time like Peter Jackson did with his epic The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Granted, Phibes’ offbeat mix of camp and 70’s era gore “lite” isn’t anywhere on the same level as Tolkein’s works, folks. But hey, I grew up glued to the tube with many of Price’s films and those two hold a very special place in my still beating heart. Hey, it’s not as if I’m asking for Scream and Scream Again, right? RIGHT? If you ever see that one, you’ll understand, kids…

Anyway, if you’re too lazy to click links, that collection costs $55, features tons of special features and the six films are as follows:

THE PIT & THE PENDULUM

THE MASQUE OF THE RED DEATH

THE HAUNTED PALACE

THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER

THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES

WITCHFINDER GENERAL (aka THE CONQUEROR WORM)

Who needs to go out on Halloween and get a tummy ache from some lousy cheap candy bought at the dollar store? Get this Blu-Ray set, pop up that dried out corn display you’ve had on the table for years and sprinkle some chili powder on it, slap a few razor blades into a pomegranate (apples are SO last century!) pull up a chair and veg out! Friends optional, but go “borrow” some (have some rope and gags handy) so you can show them a good time before you kick them out in a more bewildered but appreciative state (like Maine or maybe California, ha ha)…

GRAVITY Is Number 1, So NWA World Has Some Fun…

Of course, when you’re on top of the world (or a few hundred miles above it), your success become ripe for the picking at from a few sources. The folks at NMA World pull no punches here with their take on deleted scenes, but you may need a refresher course on current Chinese news and history in order to get everything here. I still haven’t seen Gravity yet as the movie theater near me is still closed and I’m completely clueless (well, a bit more clueless than usual) as to when it will reopen. If I don’t see any life signs there within a week, I just may need to settle for traveling a bit. I certainly WON’T go for a cheap Chinese bootleg at all (fake outtakes or not), as this is the sort of flick that needs money going where it’s supposed to when all is said and done…

Stuff You Can’t Unsee: So Much For Good Star Wars Memories…

argh wars

Eep, Opp, Ork, Ugh. To quote a certain dark Jedi, NOOOOOOOOOO!

OK, I automatically shut down the thought of even looking at any images or reading up on a lot of info when George Lucas sold off Star Wars to Disney, but this picture popped up in an email I got the other day and it made me laugh and cringe simultaneously because a few years back it would have been someone really good with Photoshop who cooked this up and not the reality it’s turned out to be…

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