Dark Souls II “Aching Bones” Trailer: Yeah (Ouch!) That Collector’s Edition Weighs A Ton…

Posted on September 18, 2013 by geelw

Innnnteresting. When Dark Souls came out last year, publisher Namco Bandai made the very cool decision to charge the same $60 price tag for the standard and collector’s edition of the game and yes, that steel-boxed version with the art book sold quite well while the standard edition seems to have done quite fine (not everyone likes that extra swag). This time out, Dark Souls II seems to be getting three different editions: a standard retail version (which will probably pop up as a digital release as well), a Black Armor Edition and a Collector’s Edition details of both are below, of course). Some may say Namco Bandai is being a bit overconfident here, but I think if they can get the fan base that LOVES this game to pay a little more while packing in some more swag (and cool swag, at that!), then more power to them.

Besides, you can always scream into that metal case or at that Warrior Knight perched atop your tee vee when the game keeps killing your avatar off when the going gets tough. Of course, since you hard~~-headed~~ core PC gamers love your downloads, I believe you don’t get Jack other than the game (even if you find it on a disc at your favorite brick & mortar game emporium), so I guess that’s a win for us poor slobs who prefer our consoles for what they bring us (again!). Of course, PC-heads get fans who can fix stuff developer From Software doesn’t right away, so there’s that tradeoff…

EDIT: Oops. As you can see by those newly updated images, I was quite wrong! One crow pie out of the freezer and into the oven for me! PC gamers get the swag too. Nice. Now stop that online petition stuff!

*Black Armor Edition Pre-Order Bonus*
The Dark Souls II Pre-Order Bonus comes with a FREE Collectible Metal Case, Game & Original Game Soundtrack – while supplies last. The collectible case has the unique Warrior Knight box art that will only be found on the Black Armor Edition. The Original Game Soundtrack is composed by Motoi Sakuraba, who composed the full score for the 2011 hit Dark Souls as well.

*Collector’s Edition*
The Dark Souls II Collector’s Edition comes with a gorgeous premium quality 12 inch tall Warrior Knight figurine, made from solid PVC weighing nearly 16 full ounces packed inside a custom printed display box with transparent window. Fans will also be treated to an exclusive hardbound artbook filled with never-seen-before images from the game developer, as well as a sizable full-color microfiber game map perfect for mounting onto your wall. The Black Armor Edition metal case will house both the game disc as well as the Original Game Soundtrack.

Hmmmm… It’s coin tossing time, I guess…

Dorkly Nails The Anti-Gaming Dolts To The Wall. Details at 11… Or Now.

Posted on September 18, 2013 by geelw

As usual, the media is going (pardon the term) ballistic in some spots over Grand Theft Auto V on a few very incorrect fronts that makes them look like a bunch of knee-jerk jerks who love to generate controversy for rating’s sake as opposed to being anywhere near truthful. Fortunately, the folks over at dorkly.com have a mighty sharp yet paradoxically blunt hammer that works well at smashing this sort of questionable “journalism” right it its face. Read it and maybe keep that link handy when you get into a debate with some anti-gaming troll who thinks they know it all because some guy or gal wearing a hair helmet and too much makeup told them so.

Also, if you’re even in a real-life event where a news crew rolls up to invade your privacy, shoves a camera and microphone in your face and asks one of the two stupidest question in the world you can ask someone who’s been through or witnessed hell (“How did you feel when…” or “What was going through your mind when…”), feel free to grab that microphone bop the “reporter” lightly in the head with it, hand it back and say “No comment, idiot. Go away and find someone else to exploit.”, walk away and go take a nice long nap or have a relaxing cup of hot tea. They’ll get it eventually.

The Last Days on Mars Trailer: Venus Envy

Posted on September 18, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, movieclipsTRAILERS!)

I bet these doomed astronauts WISHED they were on Venus or somewhere else safer and less genre-fied, as even this upcoming flick’s title seems to note that there won’t be many (or ANY) survivors when all is said and done. Of course, rocking an Alien vibe is either a good sign or some trailer-esque editing that makes this LOOK like a bit of a too close to the bone reworking. But as usual, we shall see. Although I always laugh nowadays when I hear those “stingers” used in movie trailers on the soundtrack. It’s like whatever has invaded the ship is wearing a portable keyboard and is playing that sound effect as it stalks around the ship. SURVIVAL TIP: Stay in the nearest closet with a blunt object, and when the monster walks up or by and hits that note, slam that door open and give it the what for with your hammer or whatever. Roll credits.

?-able Humor: Starfish Makes A Better Appetizer Than Rubber-Suited Dictator, I Say…

Posted on September 18, 2013 by geelw

So, yeah… did you know that starfish are edible? I certainly wouldn’t eat one (at least there’s a 99% chance of that not occurring any time soon), but if you’re feeling adventurous or reading this while stuck on a desert island (wait, that’s a sort of oxy-moron, right?) that happens to have a wi-fi signal and you’re too silly to call for help because you don’t have a social network account and refuse to get one (you stubborn rabbit), well, now you have something to do with your time other than troll porn sites all day and fall out of that coconut tree while going for that last high-hanging fruit. Hmmm. I wonder if coconut goes good with starfish? Of course, if you hate the taste after all this work, the results in your stomach may resemble this Kamen Rider X clip:

(thanks, Hall of Fail!)
Me? I’ll stick to the salmon, please. Thank you…

Valhalla Knights 3 Update: Story And Races, To the Finish!

Posted on September 18, 2013 by geelw

Short and sweet, this new Valhalla Knights 3 trailer shows off a bit of story introduction that should keep fans (and Vita owners looking for a fun action/RPG) hopping with anticipation for the game’s October release. Not so short (but a necessary read) are the character class descriptions for this one. I still need to pick up VK: Battle Stance on the PSP at some point, but I happen to like this quirky series as it’s gone through a few hoops and changes since the first installment. Anyway, head on below the jump for more info of all those playable races and carve out some free time this October…

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Orc Attack Double Blast: This Was My Stomach Earlier Today!

Posted on September 18, 2013 by geelw

OK, I know, I know… “eww!” and TMI, am I right? Anyway, I was supposed to pop in to a big TV/Entertainment conference this morning, but something I ate last night put me out of commission for the better part of today. Lots of water and rest later after Mr. Toad’s Wilder ride (yes, my toilet has a new pet name), I’m up and much better, but as usual, a bit behind in my work. Oh well, but these new Orc Attack: Flatulent Rebellion trailers made my day go, er… smoother by giving me some laugh power (which is ALWAYS great for any sort of pain). So, now you know… and knowing is half the battle! The other half is too yucky to talk about, but use your imagination.

Anyway, now that you’re all turning green, I guess I can inform you that Orc Attack is launching this fall on XBLA, PSN, and PC. More to come on this “hack ‘n gas” game soon…

There’s No Beer In Hell, But All The Pianos Play DOOM There…

Posted on September 18, 2013 by geelw

File this under “Now, I’ve REALLY seen Everything!”: OK, so it’s NOT Hell Paris again, but hell… someone made a piano that plays DOOM. Yeah, I want one now (and am kicking myself that I gave up on lessons as a kid), but I’ll need to steal a cargo plane, hire some some assistants and fly all the way to London’s Virgin Media Game Space in order to get this one of a kind hybrid machine/instrument. Of course, I’ll get arrested, tried and convicted and need to serve some hard time (boo, but I want to keep the film rights!), but at least I’ll have a story to tell at parties after I get out that will top the usual “I saw so-and-so coming out of a Starbucks drunk!” stuff you hear all the time, right? Hmmm… I wonder if Carmack, Romero or even Bethesda will ask for one of these to be made for them at some point. Hey, I say if anything, you can buy off that devil with a gift he’ll really flip over! You DO know he plays EVERY instrument, right? I got him a harmonica last year and he’s quite the expert at it!