OK, not ALL the time, people. I’m talking about the reviews rolling in stating how cool Pacific Rim is. Even the much despised NY Post threw down a four-star rating and that’s rare for a CG-packed summer blockbuster their critics often slap around for assorted reasons. OK, they get it right with most of the overblown junk that hits theaters, but it’s a review that actually doesn’t go out of its way to toss a stupid jab at the president for no reason, so that’s a welcome relief. I’m also hearing of a few other skeptics getting their minds changed, so it’s all good. As for “reality” TV… er, don’t believe that rot at all unless you think real people waste hours arguing over petty crap (and the same petty crap on ALL those shows!)…
Daily Archives: July 10, 2013
Blog Rolls in the Oven… Done By the Weekend (Hopefully)…
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I know, I know – I need to finish updating the blogroll over there on the right (yeah, the one that was like three times longer before I accidentally deleted all the links a while back, oops!), as I’ve added a few new folks to my reading list along with some other sites you should check out. I’ll get to that this weekend. I’m still in the process of reformatting over 1000 older posts from the old DAF site to WordPress and that process has been sloooooow thanks to me being that one man band with busted instruments. Anyway, I figured out a devious plan to fix old posts AND get news ones up by linking to them in the future. This will force me to fix those old posts so they don’t link back to the old site anymore and MAYBE, some of those stubborn-heads who’ve subscribed there will slowly but surely get the point and drift on over here at some point. “Yeah, that’s the ticket!” he said, rolling his eyes… Oy yoy yoy, do I need me one of those typing monkeys. Or a Roomba with working fingers to kill a few birds with one stone…
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SHARKNADO: Um…OK, I Was Wrong About A*P*E…
(muchas gracias, MachinimaETC!)
Well… I should have expected this after Sharktopus, but still… wow. Actually, double wow and a slap to the jaw because I thought of the frogs raining down from P.T. Anderson’s excellent film Magnolia as soon as I saw the “poster” for this soon to be instant classic. Ah, SHARKNADO… you’re a puzzlement! Will I waste two hours with commercials watching this? Mmmmmaybe… not, as anything with Tara Reid in it makes my ears smoke pretty badly. She delivers lines like a drunk mailman delivers a box of champagne flutes. The trailer is more than enough for me to see exactly where this will go and even if it has a surprise ending, I can just ring up a friend I know is going to catch this and ask him what happens. I generally have a super high tolerance for stuff like this, but too much during the week is like stirring heroin into your coffee. Er, not that I’ve ever taken heroin, mind you. I just overheard that analogy made a few years back and have been dying to use it somewhere. Wait, does that me I have to drop dead now? Crap. I still have so much to do! *THUD!*
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Random Film of the Week: A*P*E
(THANK YOU, Geno the Giant!!!)
OK, I’ve been a bit busy and not keeping up with getting more of these RFotW posts up as I’d like when I’d like to, but here’s a case where having a huge backlog of future posts might be a good thing. I looked at my long (and growing) list of films and instead of randomly selecting one, picked the first one on that list and thankfully, didn’t need to go far to track it down. I wanted a trailer, but the first thing I found was the full movie, always a good thing when it’s legal.
On the other hand… this particular post is about the horrifically terrible and stupid Korean King Kong pastiche that is A*P*E, so you may not agree at all. Then again, it’s hard to hate a film so bad it starts off unintentionally hilarious, gets a tiny bit “serious” turns into a parody of the film and genres it’s trying too hard to copy then goes back to (sort of) being serious at its finale. Yeah, A*P*E swings both ways and then some. Yes, that’s the full film above – pull up a chair or couch and make sure you’re sitting close to the floor, as you may fall off whatever you’re sitting on a few times…
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Shaky Cam Video Alert!: Some More Batmobile Stuff…
Oops. Go grab some Dramamine – I’ll wait. OK, you’re back? Good. I’d almost forgotten to upload these awful Batmobile videos from the Mezco Toyz event back on June 25th,so here you go. Thankfully, they’re all short and easily digested (*burp!*). I’m laughing like a maniac in one of those clips because of the absurdity of how small the entrance to the Ripley’s Believe it or Not space is and the fact that so many people were cramming in that it was hard for anyone to get pictures or video.
I think I had another two or three movies I deleted that were nothing but hands with cameras filming more hand with cameras as that Batman theme looped endlessly, but I deleted those because I was laughing even MORE hysterically in those films. I’d have them subtitled in some comic book font if I had decided to run them, though. Some sort of Joker laugh repeating “HA HA HAAAAA!” over and over…
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Now Reading: The Greatest BAD Movies of All Time
Other than a mistake about what happened to the airliner in the first Airport (see below for a plot spoiler if you’ve not yet seen that 1970 potboiler), Phil Hall’s book is a fun chunk of opinions on one hundred classic and not so classic flicks he’s seen and is worth checking out for his thoughts on 100 movies including some consider better than the “bad” label he slaps them with. Let’s just say if you REALLY liked Mystic River, Hall’s dissection of it will make your eyebrows crisp up but good from the lasers shooting from your eye sockets.
The author carefully notes early on that not everyone will like his picks and that yes, there are a ton of films that I wish would have made the cut in this volume. Amazing junk such as R.O.T.O.R. (in my mind, the “best” worst rip-off of The Terminator ever made) or the epically stupid A*P*E would have been superior to Gamera in terms of classic badness and hell, I’d have dropped the student film version of A Streetcar Named Desire in favor of a Moontrap, The Hidden II or even the Walter Matthau-directed Gangster Story, a film so awful I thought I was dreaming when I finally saw it very early one morning on TCM…
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Rambo: The Videogame Reveal Trailer: Gore Patrol, Reporting For Duty!
OK, I wasn’t expecting this game to be anything close to “great”, but I did get a chuckle that Reef Entertainment and developer Teyon have basically taken the extreme violence from 2008’s Rambo and transplanted it into the older films. Of course, if you go back and watch First Blood, you’ll see that John Rambo didn’t actually kill a single person during the film.
The one death he “caused” was actually the fault of the idiot in that helicopter who didn’t think for a second that hanging too far out from that chopper trying to put a bullet into our harried hero was a good idea. Yeah, a lot of people get themselves hurt in that film, but they did pretty much ask for it. Granted, the rest of the series did amp up the body count considerably, so I’ll have to see where this game takes those chapters.
Yeah, I stuck the trailer below the jump, as it’s a bit icky with some gory neck stabbery and an exploding body. Nothing like a little of the old ultra-violence to get your eyeballs wide awake, huh?
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It’s Hump Day and Conan Still Hates Camels.
OK, this camel-socking joke has a (VERY) short lifespan, but I’d forgotten about the cinema from Cauldron’s 2004 game Conan (or Conan: The Dark Axe), which never got a US release. It’s not bad for what it is (I own the PC, PAL format Xbox and GameCube versions), clocks in at about 8 or 9 hours the first time through and has versus and survival modes that strangely enough don’t allow you to play as Conan(!). Anyway, yeah… more digital animal abuse (again!) just means I get put on that camel hit list again (which is why I avoid zoos, deserts and anything else where there’s a chance I’ll be set upon by pissed off humpbacked four-legged creatures. Well, I’ve had dreams with camels in them, but I’ve never punched one and they’ve pretty much left me alone…
"DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!" 