Actually, Detective York is a wee bit off in his history, as steam-powered vehicles were around in the 17th and 18th centuries. It’s too bad that the technology never took off as it should have, as the world could probably use less fossil fuel consumption and smarter ways of just getting to the mall for a pint of milk. Of course, trying to cover the entire history of automobiles here is a bad idea, as this is supposed to be a more Greenvale-centric post and I’m sure their City Council doesn’t want me to ramble on about mechanical perambulation or the advent of steam when there are more interesting ways to get tourist dollars out their way. And, wait… just which King George is he referring to anyway? There were a whole bunch of them from a few different countries throughout world history, you know.

Oh, wait a minute… Ah ha ha. My mistake, folks. The detective was being a bit sarcastic and tossing a good one out about Sheriff George Woodman who it turns out isn’t the nicest cop in the neighborhood. Oops. Well, at least I found that out before I had to go poking around Wackypedia for “facts” about cars written by contributors that don’t even know how to drive. Say, did you know that despite needing to drive a few places in the game, YOU don’t need to know how to drive when you’re playing Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut, coming April 30, 2013 exclusively for the PlayStation 3. Featuring upgraded visuals, PlayStation 3 and 3D TV support, trophies and more, this is one vacation you’ll not soon forget. Unlike that information that would have helped you pass that history class you flunked in high school.

OK, so King Sheriff George is a bit of a jerk with his stupid hat and bad attitude (you’d think he’d be a BIT more cooperative what with a mad, possibly supernatural killer on the loose in his town) but thankfully, Sheriff Swery is in the office on those days George is off and he’s a MUCH nicer guy to deal with. When you’re in the area, make sure to drop by and say hello. Hey, you may even get  a free cup of coffee from the A&G Diner out of that greeting – and free is always good. Especially when combined with coffee…

Paying attention to the road while driving may seem like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised just how easily distracted most people get when behind the wheel. Case in point, this particular road trip in that not so fancy but fast Sheriff’s car, currently driven by one Francis York Morgan. Given that he’s got two passengers with him, he should be concentrating on the road and doing his best to drive safely. However, just LOOK at that speedometer! 73 MPH is not exactly following the Greenvale speed limit, it’s not an emergency (this time), and lack of traffic or not, he should keep an eye out for pedestrians. I’d say something about that “Talk” button onscreen, but I guess it’s OK, as talking while driving is something everyone seems to do. Granted, York will probably Talk to “himself” rather than his passengers (which is distracting enough), so perhaps he’s not too bad behind the wheel after all?

Of course, you’ll get to find this out for yourself and more on April 30, 2013 when Rising Star Games’ Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut hits retail exclusively for the PlayStation 3. Featuring updated visuals, improved controls, all-new content PlayStation Move and 3D TV support and more, this is one of those games guaranteed to get you out driving safely to your favorite game shop and back home even if you’re a block away. Hey, practice makes perfect, right? And if you don’t drive, no worries – that walk will do you good, as you’ll probably be getting a wee bit less exercise once you pick up the game and start playing. Your heart will be racing quite a lot, though…

Another reason you should buy this game is you’ll be keeping Game Director Swery65 a busy man. Getting him back in the office in Japan making more games is a good thing, as if he’s not making games, he’s getting into mischief with people like this other creatively named game-creating reprobate (and all-around nice guy if you get to meet him in person), Suda 51 (both seen here in a local drinking establishment somewhere on Planet Earth. So, yeah – you know what to do, right. Buy at LEAST two copies of this game so Swery gets back to making another one. Or at least thinks about a Vita version, as there’s nothing like being able to be scared out of one’s wits while on the road (er, except when one is behind the wheel – that’s NEVER a good thing)…